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[challenge entry] Gi, there is no raffe

From the Giraffes! challenge. See all 400 entries (closed)

(I helped save b3ta! drbroon abloooobloobloo, Thu 1 Jul 2010, 16:47, archived)
# I'm reading graphic novel "Black Hole" at the moment
And this looks like something from a dream sequence in it.
(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 1 Jul 2010, 16:56, archived)
# Throaty cough you have!
Message I've put on my toilet wall at work:


NOTE TO GUESTS:
Management apologise for the lack of sink in the toilet at the moment. The complete retard, fuckwit of a plumber appears to think that ‘attaching the sink to the wall’ actually means removing it entirely and then going home. We can only hope that he remembers how to put one foot in front of the other when walking home
His guide dog for the stupid informs me that things will be sorted out by tomorrow.
(I helped save b3ta! riverghost servicing your mum since, Thu 1 Jul 2010, 16:57, archived)
# Arf!
It's laugh a minute at your work, isn't it?
(I helped save b3ta! Tribs 🦇 ↓ dn ʎɐʍ sᴉɥʇ ↓🦇, Thu 1 Jul 2010, 16:59, archived)
# No joke. He came round to attach the sink that was <i>slightly</i> coming away from the wall.
And the spaktard thinks that means, 'New sink, remove the old one and get a new one tomorrow.'

He actually spent the last month replacing two shower taps and mixers. Fortunately the boss won't be paying him:P
(I helped save b3ta! riverghost servicing your mum since, Thu 1 Jul 2010, 17:02, archived)
# You need a new plumber
Just don't put inverted commas in the advert by mistake.

"Plumber" required to "inspect pipes" and "fix my leaky tap".
(I helped save b3ta! Tribs 🦇 ↓ dn ʎɐʍ sᴉɥʇ ↓🦇, Thu 1 Jul 2010, 17:30, archived)
# haha!
what are the odds on him coming back, attaching the sink to the wall but forgetting to either connect the water or the drain?
(I helped save b3ta! theoriginalsteve <this space intentionally left blank>, Thu 1 Jul 2010, 17:00, archived)
# or attaching it upside down
like some kind of hand wash shower
(I helped save b3ta! Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Thu 1 Jul 2010, 17:19, archived)
# that's very professionally written.
maybe a consideration of your public relations would lead to an upturn in the type of client you attract. This may lead you to be able to charge more for services, allowing you to afford a decent plumber. Might I suggest "retard" and "fuckwit" are not generally considered to be formal words.
(I helped save b3ta! drbroon abloooobloobloo, Thu 1 Jul 2010, 17:03, archived)
# Sadly the reverse.
If I don't villainise the plumber and his twattypants ways then I'll be to blame, we'll get lower ratings, get less bookings and make less money.
(I helped save b3ta! riverghost servicing your mum since, Thu 1 Jul 2010, 17:08, archived)
# touche
(I helped save b3ta! drbroon abloooobloobloo, Thu 1 Jul 2010, 17:21, archived)
# you have to wash your hands in the toilet?
why install a sink in the toilet in the first place!
yeah i know you mean water closet or bathroom or whaveter but i was thinking of the poclain thone type of toilet - lol
(I helped save b3ta! SkUG >_O i got a couple of stitches in my eyeball... ow, Thu 1 Jul 2010, 17:11, archived)
# HAHA
clicks
(I helped save b3ta! The Twisted Omentum vidi vici veni, Thu 1 Jul 2010, 16:59, archived)
[challenge entry] I'll pop 'Geraffimo' in here. He didn't want his own thread - doesn't believe in property, or somesuch.
(I helped save b3ta! Happy Phantom has been to Hastings, Brighton, and Eastbourne too, Thu 1 Jul 2010, 17:07, archived)
# May I?
(Vice Admiral Sir Charles Cockbrush KCB MBE DSO, who is finding it increasingly difficult to log into b3ta.com wants to duck your aunt and kick your puppy, Thu 1 Jul 2010, 18:34, archived)