Bond didn't like his new Earglasses® headset


From the Rubbish Bond Gadgets challenge. See all 333 entries (closed)

(nospoon, Sat 8 Nov 2003, 23:51, archived)

that fish
must have been going bloody fast when it impacted
( spacefish is imaginary oh, Sat 8 Nov 2003, 23:55, archived)

lol
beer/monitor interface
( lemony, Sat 8 Nov 2003, 23:56, archived)

*licks monitor in hopes that beer will have osmosed over the interweb*
i've been sobering up dangerously since about half 9. it's a good job i was hammered before.
( spacefish is imaginary oh, Sat 8 Nov 2003, 23:59, archived)

COCKROCKETS
i just realised i've posted about 220 messages today :S i need a life
( lemony, Sun 9 Nov 2003, 0:01, archived)

haha
cockrockets.
( Schweaty Minge I spunked in your tea! Taste it and see! D:, Sun 9 Nov 2003, 0:03, archived)

i stand by what i said
and to hull with the consequences
( lemony, Sun 9 Nov 2003, 0:11, archived)

you need a what sorry?

( Sir Sand Goblin dreary cunt, Sun 9 Nov 2003, 0:04, archived)

awhonowwhatnow?

( lemony, Sun 9 Nov 2003, 0:06, archived)

220 messages a day sounds like bliss!
i used to post all the time before i got a "proper job". now i'm a virtual recluse
( spacefish is imaginary oh, Sun 9 Nov 2003, 0:06, archived)

i'm getting worse.
1000 posts in under a week. meh.
with any luck my b3tabirthday and 10k will coincide.
( Sargant, Sun 9 Nov 2003, 0:07, archived)

that'd be quite something
i did 1000 in 8 days but last week was half term
( lemony, Sun 9 Nov 2003, 0:09, archived)

6 days for me.
not good. my 8000 post still isn't archived.
( Sargant, Sun 9 Nov 2003, 0:11, archived)

heheheheheeee.

( Sir Sand Goblin dreary cunt, Sun 9 Nov 2003, 0:02, archived)

Must have been a
swordfish
(nospoon, Sun 9 Nov 2003, 0:03, archived)

haha!
another limerick!
You know that a pig is a hog
And can tell a cat from a dog.
But it's perfectly true
That all of them do
Look exactly the same in the fog.

\o/
( Mushroom, Sat 8 Nov 2003, 23:56, archived)

hehehe
thats another good one :)
Can I book you for parties and small gatherings?
(louise3512uk, Sun 9 Nov 2003, 0:00, archived)

011111110
111111110
111111
111111
10110110
( spacefish is imaginary oh, Sun 9 Nov 2003, 0:01, archived)

001101010011!!!!

(1, Sun 9 Nov 2003, 0:02, archived)

binary
finery
(nospoon, Sun 9 Nov 2003, 0:02, archived)

heres a little ditty
0100100001100101001000000111001101100001011010010110010000100000011101000110100001100101001000000110011001110101011011100110111001101001011001010111001101110100001000000110101001101111011010110110010100101100001000000110100101110011001000000111010001101000011001010010000001110011011011010110111101110101011011000110010001100101011100100110100101101110011001110010000001110011011011010110111101101011011001010010110000100000011001100111001001101111011011010010000001100110011101010110111001100101011100100110000101101100001000000111000001111001011100100110010100001101000010100101001101101000011001010010000001110011011000010110100101100100001011000010000001110011011010000110010110010010011001000010000001101100011010010110101101100101001000000111010001101111001000000110101001101111011010110110010100100000011000100111010101110100001000000110011001101111011100100010000001110011011101000110100101100110011011000110100101101110011001110010000001110011011011010110111101101011011001010010000001110100011010000110000101110100001000000110110101110101011001100110011001101100011001010111001100100000011001000110010101110011011010010111001001100101000011010000101001010100011010000110010101101110001000000111011101100101001000000110110001101001011011100110101101100101011001000010000001101000011000010110111001100100011100110010110000100000011100110110100001110101011001100110011001101100011001010110010000100000011101000110100001110010011011110111010101100111011010000010000001110011011000010110111001100100011100110010110000100000011010000110010101100001011100100111010001110011001000000110001001110101011100100110111001101001011011100110011100100000011101110110100101110100011010000010000001100110011010010111001001100101001011100000110100001010
(pluke in a giant mechanical pickle, Sun 9 Nov 2003, 0:05, archived)

beautiful!
did you write it yourself?
( spacefish is imaginary oh, Sun 9 Nov 2003, 0:09, archived)

yeah thats actually one of mine
the only good thing i have ever written
(pluke in a giant mechanical pickle, Sun 9 Nov 2003, 0:09, archived)

it's really nice
lovely analogies

01110111011011110110111100100000011110010110000101111001
( rosey i'm on ur {noun}, {verb}ing ur {noun}, Sun 9 Nov 2003, 0:15, archived)

thanks :)
it was the last love poem i ever wrote, i got far too bitter after that, and read far too much seigfreid sassoon (who is fantastic)
(pluke in a giant mechanical pickle, Sun 9 Nov 2003, 0:17, archived)

Topical...
He cut hair as well

At what point did poppies stop having "Haig Fund" written on the black bit?
( Duncan Disorderly, Sun 9 Nov 2003, 0:35, archived)

i have some at home with it on
so i would say late 80's or early nineties
(pluke in a giant mechanical pickle, Sun 9 Nov 2003, 0:55, archived)

brilliant
imaginative and interesting...
can't be beaten

:)
(louise3512uk, Sun 9 Nov 2003, 0:03, archived)

Argh!
Scarily, I have today spent hours and hours on this stupid bloody boring English essay, which I know my cow of an English teacher will probably undermark or lose anyway!! It's enough to drive one insane.

So I have come to b3ta for some soothing normality. :)
(Pocahontus the Mermaid with Wings, Sun 9 Nov 2003, 0:01, archived)

whats the essay on?

( lemony, Sun 9 Nov 2003, 0:02, archived)

Comparing stories
which aren't so bad in themselves, but don't seem so good after you've analysed and proofread all day...
(Pocahontus the Mermaid with Wings, Sun 9 Nov 2003, 0:06, archived)

maybe you should make it more fun
by doing the whole thing as a rap
( lemony, Sun 9 Nov 2003, 0:06, archived)

yeah and stop doing drugs as well

(pluke in a giant mechanical pickle, Sun 9 Nov 2003, 0:08, archived)

Sorry,
that would be impossible.
(Pocahontus the Mermaid with Wings, Sun 9 Nov 2003, 0:12, archived)

Will
do. :)
(Pocahontus the Mermaid with Wings, Sun 9 Nov 2003, 0:12, archived)

I have spent the last week avoiding this film essay
and now it's freaking the hell out of me
(The Scone from U.N.C.L.E., Sun 9 Nov 2003, 0:02, archived)

i flipping hate film studies essays
i spent 3 days writing a 1000word one once... i was that crap at it
( lemony, Sun 9 Nov 2003, 0:05, archived)

a
1,000 page essay
Cripes!
(The Scone from U.N.C.L.E., Sun 9 Nov 2003, 0:06, archived)

one too many beers i fear

( lemony, Sun 9 Nov 2003, 0:08, archived)

in which case I retract my Cripes
this is only a tiddling 1,500 one that I'm working on
(The Scone from U.N.C.L.E., Sun 9 Nov 2003, 0:10, archived)

Fun!

(Pocahontus the Mermaid with Wings, Sun 9 Nov 2003, 0:06, archived)

however your typing speed
must be fantastic
( Prof. Slocombe checked Google and found out that its, Sun 9 Nov 2003, 0:06, archived)

write one that is utterly wrong, straight off the top of your head
go for word count over content. then bung in loads of keywords.
( spacefish is imaginary oh, Sun 9 Nov 2003, 0:10, archived)

i had a friend
who wrote an entire piece of english a-level course work absolving sauron of any guilt for the proceedings in lord of the rings
( lemony, Sun 9 Nov 2003, 0:12, archived)

You can make any argument look good and connect any two unrelated ideas to each other
as long as you're good at writing transitional sentences. :-)
( Sexy Picard 2000, Sun 9 Nov 2003, 0:14, archived)

Heh heh.
I'm grading English papers right now. I'll try to be nice. :-)
( Sexy Picard 2000, Sun 9 Nov 2003, 0:07, archived)

how do you grade something that is so subjective
i never understood
(pluke in a giant mechanical pickle, Sun 9 Nov 2003, 0:10, archived)

I don't think it's right, either.
But it's built into the system. What can be done? It'd take a mighty revolution to change it.

Personally, I just try to explain my reasoning really well, so students don't feel totally cheated...
( Sexy Picard 2000, Sun 9 Nov 2003, 0:12, archived)

I wasn't lying you know
my English teacher did lose my coursework, then when I got her another copy of it, gave me a lower mark than she'd given me before I'd done loadsa improvements.

Meh!
(Pocahontus the Mermaid with Wings, Sun 9 Nov 2003, 0:14, archived)

With all of the concerns about "grade inflation" these days,
that's not surprising. Teachers look for any excuse they can find to keep their grades low. It's more political than you might think.
( Sexy Picard 2000, Sun 9 Nov 2003, 0:17, archived)

Not fair!
/childish screaming
(Pocahontus the Mermaid with Wings, Sun 9 Nov 2003, 0:21, archived)

No, it really isn't.
Not fair to teachers, either. It doesn't have much to do with teaching or learning. But try telling that to the government, which only cares about getting high numbers out of its students....
( Sexy Picard 2000, Sun 9 Nov 2003, 0:23, archived)

Though it is also to do with that
my teacher's the strangest stupidest crappest teacher there is.

:)

No really - she tells people off for doing what she's told them to do.
(Pocahontus the Mermaid with Wings, Sun 9 Nov 2003, 0:28, archived)

Bad teachers
are bad teachers, with grades or without. I'm quite willing to admit there are plenty of them. :-)
( Sexy Picard 2000, Sun 9 Nov 2003, 0:32, archived)

ohhhhh
I don't quite understand
but I do like

edit: and now the cocking fuckign arsing fireworks have started again
(The Scone from U.N.C.L.E., Sun 9 Nov 2003, 0:03, archived)

See
www.earglasses.com/
It appeared in the newsletter sometime back.
(nospoon, Sun 9 Nov 2003, 0:04, archived)

Fantastic
I understand and like now
you make learning fun.
(The Scone from U.N.C.L.E., Sun 9 Nov 2003, 0:05, archived)

freeeeen
canchi trandnat
(gbert, Sun 9 Nov 2003, 0:06, archived)

come again?

(nospoon, Sun 9 Nov 2003, 0:09, archived)

is that an
open invitation?
(The Scone from U.N.C.L.E., Sun 9 Nov 2003, 0:10, archived)

moring scone
keep to the night patten are we
(stefd O Genki Desu Ka, Sun 9 Nov 2003, 0:14, archived)