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# I mentioned earlier that i was writing an awful love letter and here it is
I am writing this letter to you because I don’t feel that I can tell you what I have to tell you in any other way. This is so hard.
For the longest time I have had feeling for you like I have never had for anyone else. You are the most beautiful and amazing person that I’ve ever met and it feels like, that with your support and encouragement, I could do anything I wanted. I feel so nervous whenever I’m around you, but at the same time it makes me happy to see you and to talk to you. If I had any experience in the matter I might say I was in love with you, but I really don’t feel as if I know you well enough to really be in love with you. It’s all so confusing.
I don’t know what good it will do to tell you all this, in fact I rather suspect it will just cause an awkward situation between us, but if there’s even the remotest chance that you could ever feel the same way about me, then I can’t just let it go.
It feels so impersonal to be typing this, I wanted to handwrite it, but I felt it was more important that you actually be able to read what I’ve written. I’m sorry if this all just seems a bit weird but if I don’t say it now, I probably never will, and I don’t want that. I know that knowing this may change our relationship, but I hope that we can still be friends, if nothing else. This is such a terrible jumble of words; I just hope you can pick out what I’m trying to say, and try to understand it. I really am sorry if this is all just too inappropriate or out of line, but I couldn’t go on leaving it unsaid any more.



sorry for the threadwaste but i don't really give a fuck
(, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 15:44, archived)
# ?

(, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 15:46, archived)
# *nudges gently*
It's to his Mum.
(, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 15:49, archived)
# hahaha ha haah
that little nudge made me laugh so hard
(, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 15:58, archived)
# Oooohhh...
I can see you're easily pleased... :)
(, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 16:01, archived)
# actually, as it happens, I'm not.
LOOK! A BLUE CAR!!!! WOOOOOOOO HA HA HA HA HA HA
(, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 16:02, archived)
# A Blue Car!!!
HURRAHHH!!! *falls over with excitement*
(, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 16:08, archived)
# stop
with the apologising. and focus on the positive goodness
(, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 15:46, archived)
# and dont forget
the photoshopped kitten with flowers
(, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 15:46, archived)
# i did stick
a piture of a rose on the bottom
(, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 15:47, archived)
# well if she's not interested,
you can take me for a beer
(, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 15:48, archived)
# sounds good
but don't let him take you for a fool - HO NOOOOO!!!!!
(, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 15:59, archived)
# you can
come too if you like? after all what else is he going to do when she laughs in his face?

/unnecessary cruelty
(, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 16:11, archived)
# agreed
more compliments, women lap them up...

/wonders why he's single...

edit: oops, thought it was a 'don't dump me, remember the good times' letter, in that case, if she's your mate already ask her if she fancies a drink and sit right up close to her if she accepts. Chances are the letter's going to make the friendship 'awkward', so at least make it in a friendly environment...
(, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 15:48, archived)
# without a doubt
do this
(, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 15:57, archived)
# awww
that's lovely mate, but depending on the current state of your relationship the recipient might think you're a stalker.
(, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 15:46, archived)
# yeah
just ask him/her/it out and/or try to snog them.
Much more acceptable.
(, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 16:09, archived)
# p.s.
I am fwapping as I write this letter.

Sorry.
(, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 15:46, archived)
# hahahahaa
or -

PS: If you're not interested, could you please pass this on to your mum?
(, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 15:46, archived)
# Arf! Erm...
I mean... heartless twat!
(, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 15:46, archived)
# DEFINITELY!
Hahah!
(, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 15:47, archived)
# Best reply of the day!
/burns bra
/goes to casualty
/bra surgically removed by nurse with tweezers
(, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 15:53, archived)
# Whoah there...
you have to take the tissues out first
(, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 15:55, archived)
# fair comment
I have bought a new one anyway
(, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 16:01, archived)
# *sniff*
/puts on Angry Anderson 7"


"Suddenly you're seeing me, Just the way I am...."
(, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 15:46, archived)
# Send her some KY jelly.
She'll get the message.
(, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 15:47, archived)
# just ask them out for a drink
/older than you
(, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 15:47, archived)
# Or
ask her to come to the off license for a bottle of Diamond White.
(, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 15:48, archived)
# are you calling me a pikey
i'll set me dag on ya
(, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 15:51, archived)
# no
i think he's covering his bases, incase your only a wee child
(, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 15:58, archived)
# i'm very nearly 20
i just think like a small child

also, she doesnt; she's more mature than me, which doesnt really help matters, cos i'm always scared i'm gonna act like a twat in front of her
(, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 16:04, archived)
# You're a bloke, that's what your supposed to do.

(, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 16:09, archived)
# Edit monkey!
...but why didn't you fix both "your"s?
(, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 16:14, archived)
# best plan is to just say what you mean.
don't worry about the consiquences.

There are none.
(, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 16:15, archived)
# well it's a bit complicated
cos we've been friends for a while, and...like...stuff

i'm so terrible with my emotions
(, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 15:50, archived)
# i'm agreed with lemonhead
cut the shit and just ask her out!!! Women want men with BALLS, not feelings! Yeah!
(, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 15:51, archived)
# What about men like me?

/hugs puppy
/chops wood with huge chopper
(, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 15:53, archived)
# as long as you
don't get the puppy confused with the wood, we're all ok.
(, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 15:55, archived)
# Whatever you do, don't send it typed.

Handwrite the whole thing. Seriously.
(, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 15:47, archived)
# you wouldnt say that if u saw my handwriting
think egyptian hyroglyphics, only more indecipherable
(, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 15:48, archived)
# There's nothing less personal than
a typed letter though. It's for someone you're in love with, not your bloody secretary!
(, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 15:50, archived)
# "Copy this down, Joan
and I want in the post by five"
(, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 15:51, archived)
# "And Joan...

...make it heartfelt."
(, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 15:54, archived)
# mm
I have to agree with Neth here... a typed love letter is shit. Especially one that has potential stalker connotations.

You could just cut up bit of magazines and stick letters to a sheet of paper with paste and tweezers.
(, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 15:50, archived)
# Like a kidnapper would...?
/cynic
(, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 15:51, archived)
# no.
Like a completely sane person would. Tch.
(, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 15:52, archived)
# No, I would
Illegible handwriting is better than printed. Really.

Just write slowly, if she's worth the time.
(, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 16:23, archived)
# Agree with this.
If you can't write, trace the letters through a thin piece of paper.
(, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 15:49, archived)
# And for the same reason,
DON'T SEND IT AT ALL.
FOR GOD'S SAKE, TALK TO HER.

Then again, maybe this is something you have to do and find out for yourself. It is not my policy to interfere.
(, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 15:51, archived)
# sorry
but that's a really uncool idea! Imagine getting a traced letter!
(, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 15:51, archived)
# more to the point
thats quite a lot of tracing
(, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 16:11, archived)
# Imagine.

Just... imagine...
(, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 16:23, archived)
# totally
she will think you just got it off a love letters site or sumthing.

gud luck tho.
(, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 15:53, archived)
# Hmmm, threadwaste... but
Good luck regardless, and remember at all times, it can't backfire on you as bad as something like this did to me.
(, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 15:48, archived)
# Do tell...

(, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 15:48, archived)
# Time for a nostalgic pearost


It's okay, you get over it in a couple of years.
(, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 15:49, archived)
# Amen to that.

(, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 15:51, archived)
# she
sounds shit.
(, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 15:53, archived)
# It is astonishing
how long it took me to figure out that simple solution.
C'est la vie.

The sequel:
He went out with her for about a year, during which I sulked horribly. I was fortunate enough (maybe as some cruel side effect of not caring?) to drunkenly pull a few random other women, one of whom it actually turned out I really, really liked. However I was too overshadowed by self-indulgent grief over the events of the animation to notice and treated her really badly and ended up losing her too.

If anyone really wants my advice on such matters, I recommend a visit to the vet.

(, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 16:01, archived)
# Good work fella. Don't know what you were worried about.
Stick one of these on it and she'll love you for ever.



You could just talk to her. That works as well. Ladies prefer the direct, honest approach.
(, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 15:48, archived)
# i couldnt do that
i'd be petrified
(, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 15:52, archived)
# Look...
...I'm not expert on this, but actually asking her out for a drink or something works better than a letter.

To be 100% honest with you, ladies tend to see letters as being a little sappy and spineless. It takes guts to ask someone out face-to-face and that, if nothing else, will be appreciated.
(, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 15:56, archived)
# Seconded!
I wrote a letter like that once. She went and showed it to all my mates & then never spoke to me again.

I only stopped crying yesterday.

And thankyou on your promise. I've run out of eyebleach.
(, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 16:03, archived)
# Now that's comedy!
And a lesson to us all.
(, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 16:06, archived)
# I can laugh through the tears now.

(, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 16:14, archived)
# Erm
how do you communicate with her now? Believe me, the direct approach is best, and there are plenty more fish in the sea. Some of them have little lights on their heads.
(, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 15:58, archived)
# well i do talk to her down the pub and such
its just that talking to hwer about THIS in particular would petrify me
(, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 16:07, archived)
# If you feel that strongly about her,
go for it. Don't waste time and let some passing gorilla sweep her off her feet. That feels a lot more crushing than what you're feeling now, mate.
(, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 16:12, archived)
# It's better to regret doing something,
than to regret not doing something.

Takes bottle, though.
(, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 16:13, archived)
# a bottle of whisky probably

(, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 16:25, archived)
# Works for me every time,
but you've gotta catch 'em just right with it, though.
(, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 16:26, archived)
# Awww, how nice
and if that doesn't work, there's always rohypnol
(, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 15:49, archived)
# christ....
you're going to regret posting this when you sober up!
(, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 15:50, archived)
# i am sober actually
it's not like i know any of you people in the 'real' world, so it doesn't really bother me
(, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 15:53, archived)
# so why are you telling us?
it's not as if we (I) care?
(, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 15:55, archived)
# sorry babe
but I really think you need to down a few stiff drinks, go round to her place, grab her round the waist and say "DARLING - I've wanted to do this for an AWFully long time" and then stick your tongue down her throat. That's the way to win a girl.
(, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 15:57, archived)
# Or get done for sexual assault.
It's fifty-fifty. Them's good odds.
(, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 16:03, archived)
# either way
you can run off giggling incessantly into the night!
(, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 16:15, archived)
# no threadwaste this is interesting
try to talk more about her and be possitive. You are great because with your support and encouragement, I could do anything I wanted sounds a bit "Your the only one who will understand when I dress in my grandmothers cloths and masterbate!

but good effort show us the next draft and seriously more on how ace she is everyone likes that
(, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 15:50, archived)
# Hey!
Wheres Madrabbi today.

I hope he hasn't caught my guts.
(, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 15:52, archived)
# I'm
over there

(, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 16:04, archived)
# he is on top off me
and under me
he cant get enough my throw around rabbi
(, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 16:12, archived)
# Eeurgh!

(, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 16:16, archived)
# 'noon
'ows yer guts?

(stupid question to ask a vogon)

*Passes back borrowed bogroll
(, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 16:24, archived)
# fine
glad you're better too.

today I am mostly in the other place.
(, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 16:29, archived)
# be a man!
thats too much like "i want you, will you please accept me in your wonderful life?" start again and be in control and don't write anything you'll be embarrassed to have printed out at handed out to everyone you know. you have written exactly how you feel, thats not good. rememeber be a cunt and she'll love you. f.a.c.t!

take care of yourself, and each other.
(, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 15:51, archived)
# sad but true
women don't want fuzzy sensitive men. Not until they've gotten bored with shagging them.
(, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 15:54, archived)
# i dont know
she went out with a pretty soppy guy before, for quite a wile as well
(, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 15:59, archived)
# and then she dumped him?

(, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 16:05, archived)
# well, yea
but not because he was too soppy. i dont think
(, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 16:08, archived)
# aarggh
its all too hard.

i apreciate everyones advice, but it's just confusing me more

i would LOVE to just tell her how i feel, but i don't have the courage, so i thought a letter would be a nice way to do it.

and yes, handwritten would be better, but i have handwriting like a child, worse even, and i want her to be able to read it

i feel so stupid
(, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 15:57, archived)
# Can you play
an instrument? The music of love is universal, even for accordion players.
(, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 16:00, archived)
# yea i play guitar
but i'm totally pants at writing my own stuff

and she's not really into the sort of music i play or listen to anyway
(, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 16:01, archived)
# Well good luck anyway
try not to worry too much, things have a way of sorting themselves out. Just don't do nothing, you'll really regret it.
(, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 16:08, archived)
# Well, the lyrics are done
b3ta.com/board/3549146

I recommend the key of G, at about 120bpm.

Good luck.

(PS: DO NOT send that letter. The link above would make a far better impression. Trust me, I'm a clinical psychologist.*


*may be a lie
(, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 16:12, archived)
# I'm going to try and be serious.
DON'T tell her how you feel.
Just work towards it. Buy her a drink... and talk to her... and stuff...

If there is a potental for... whatever... between the two of you, it will tend to happen anyway if you're just not too shy. There's time to reveal your feelings later, by which time she'll know them anyway.

I dunno. It's your life. The only thing I'm certain of is that talking to her is better than writing and anything is better than typing. Even terrible handwriting. Really!
(, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 16:22, archived)
# Or how about
"I really like you! Do you feel like getting together and doing something fun?"
(, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 15:54, archived)
# less you
more her

"Dear woman, you are quite ace. I'd like to tell you how ace in person but I'd bollocks it right the fuck up. Gizza snog. Or tell us to piss off. Ta muchly. Bloke."
(, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 15:57, archived)
# actually
that sounds almost exactly right
(, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 16:00, archived)
# help yourself
I'm more of a face-to-face person myself (what with being irresistible to all living creatures) ... but there's nothing really wrong with a note.
(, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 16:04, archived)
# thats because it is
if you must use a not like a 14 year old girl use this one
(, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 16:06, archived)
# great
wordage!
(, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 16:12, archived)
# summary for those too lazy to read that.
I love you. Blah blah blah. Lazy git. Fuck me.


/moody cunt today
(, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 15:57, archived)
# You'll never
have her if you send that, it'll also make you cringe thinking about it in years to come.
(, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 15:58, archived)
# You have
no fucking chance whatsoever

NEXT!
(, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 15:58, archived)
# Or
"Fancy a shuffle? ;-)"
and sign it with a silly picture
(, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 15:59, archived)
# Few too many "I'm sorry"-s
Never apologise for the way you feel. Unless you have the wrong feelings.
(, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 16:00, archived)
# awww
still, I wouldn't. trying speaking.
(, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 16:01, archived)
# You damn fool
All she wants is a picture of your cock.
(, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 16:01, archived)
# rohypnol or ghb, viagra and lube
nuf said, always a winner
(, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 16:02, archived)
# I have only removed words and added punctuation.
Maybe precis it?
----
I am writing this letter to you because I feel so hard.

You are the most beautiful and amazing person that I’ve ever met. It makes me happy to see you and to talk to you.

----
(, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 16:06, archived)
# He he,
That made me laugh out loud that did!
(, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 16:16, archived)
# My comments....
First of all, I don't know if you're brave or daft for posting such a personal letter on a messaegboard.

Anyway, what I really want to say is that ignore all the people that are saying Women don't want sensitive men / women want this / women like that.... People are different! FFS, not all women have the same attitudes and like the same things!

Crikey....
(, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 16:09, archived)
# that changes EVERYTHING!!
thanks a lot, no really


i think i might go for the "hey woman your ace, i would like to tell you how ace in person but i'd bollocks it right up etc" approach
(, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 16:15, archived)
# gets my vote...
b3ta.com/board/3549273
(, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 16:17, archived)
# yeah, go for that
it'll make her laugh, which is always a good thing.

the others are right, though - whatever a girl says, they all prefer a guy to be manly. how do you think Den off of Eastenders still gets woman?!
(, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 16:29, archived)
# well done you.
that was a good thing for you to have done, get some of the tension out of your system. I'm sure a great many people here know just how it feels to be in your situation; most of the proper advice has been to try and settle with your feelings and be comfortable with your emotions and that's precisely the right thing to do. The way forward after that is up to you ... you'll know by then whether you should write, talk, ask her out for meal/drink/movie or whatever else. I hope things work out alright for you, I really do. Remember though, don't stew and bottle yourself up ... you have to act at some time or you may spend years wondering what might have been, if only... got it? Don't rush things, be confident, she'll appreciate that.

Good luck mate, I wish you well.
(, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 16:11, archived)
# heh, i've been stewing for about 3 FUCKING YEARS!
i have to do something, now.

but after whats been said i dont know whether a letter is a good idea, but its the only one i can see me doing. i couldnt talk to her in person, or even msn, about it because i would be too damn nervous (think stan and wendy in south park) but is my letter too sappy? thats just how i feel (or a portion of how i feel at any rate) i know i probably shouldnt apologise, but we are kinda good friends and she will probly find it weird that i suddenly come out with this all of a sudden and it could well jeopardise (sp?) the relationship we DO have, but thats a risk that i really have no option but to take at this point
(, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 16:20, archived)
# man, you can do it
I fell for my very best friend... we'd known each other for 12 years before anythign "happened" and now we've been together for over 3 years.

It's hard to go in all guns a-blazing and it' probably be the wrong thing to do... if you can arrange a few ocassions where you're out together, just chatting and being mates like you already are then you'll grow closer together anyway, maybe talk about some more personal issues as things develop and eventually discuss your feelings for each other. try not to overload the poor lass or you might jeopardise your frinedship altogether, which would be bad joo-joo.
(, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 16:25, archived)
# Nice reply
Hopefully this post isn't off the board yet as I want to stick my oar in...

I was about 18 I think when I first asked someone out. I thought she was a goddess in human form (still do to a certain extent).

I didn't write a her a letter telling her how I felt, and I certainly wouldn't have typed it.

I think most people have already said the obvious - talk to her, ask her out for a drink, coffee / beer / whatever.

If you're friends already then she should be more than happy. Then see how it goes, flirt a bit and try to get up the courage to tell her how you feel.

If you don't feel you should be telling her how you feel, at least try to get her to agree to another "date" soon and take it from there.

If you're friends you've already got the best basis in the world for a good relationship, don't mess it up by sending a quite scary typed letter.

That all said, we all learn from our mistakes and if you do this and it does backfire, that's the best teacher.
(, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 16:25, archived)
# we are in
100% total agreement with an almost scary level of mindpiss to boot!
(, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 16:26, archived)
# ditto!
(deletes almost identical reply)
(, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 16:27, archived)
# right i have just noticed that you are nearly 20
love notes are now inexcusable
just talk to her when you start bumbling like a fool she will get the picture and if she is more mature than you will generally take over and make it allright one way or the other.

But do talk to her, and dont be pissed when you do. If dave the hat can get married i'm damn sure you can ask someone out
(, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 16:16, archived)
# arf
arf arfarfarfarfarfarf arfarfarfarfarf arfarfarfarfarfarfarfarfarfarfarfarfarf
(, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 16:28, archived)
# *cries like a girl

(, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 16:34, archived)
# Well,
That won me over. I think I love you...
(, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 16:18, archived)
# That's a thought.
Incredidedideble, can you be sure she's not a b3tan? Eep!
(, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 16:27, archived)
# she's too sensible
for the kinda shit that goes on down here
(, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 16:31, archived)
# All that fancy letter writing will get you diddly squat.
Your best bet is to be somewhere she's going to be, preferably a place with alcohol.
Wander on over to her and just start up a conversation. The more drunk she is the more honest a response you'll get. And screw all that "let's be friends" crap, if she doesn't like you she isn't worth the time of day. (The last bit may sound harsh but I was dumped by the same girl 3 times before I realised she was an evil, manipulative bitch)
(, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 16:26, archived)
# man this things enormous
its gettin hard to pick the usedful stuff from the piss taking nonsense
(, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 16:33, archived)
# Ohhh
That, my friend is a work of beauty, if she doesn't melt while reading it, check for a pulse, for the harpy will have no heart.

Mind you, I cry at anything (damn x chromsomes)
(, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 16:39, archived)
# Tell her you fancy someone else
and see what the reaction on her face is
(, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 16:55, archived)