From this morning's FT...

... just because I was bored... and want some pie too.
( Beastie is doing science with his arse, Thu 25 Nov 2004, 11:46, archived)

pffft is it now
3.14 only
(Ning is wearing pants today, Thu 25 Nov 2004, 11:48, archived)

... or cash equivalent...
( Beastie is doing science with his arse, Thu 25 Nov 2004, 11:52, archived)

*groan*

( tipassoi, Thu 25 Nov 2004, 11:52, archived)

Well there is a Lard shortage (or is that Shortening? *baking/catering joke)
so that's Precott's lunch over and done with ;)
( maiden my karma ran over your dogma *squish*, Thu 25 Nov 2004, 11:51, archived)

apparently
there's a branston pickle shortage on the way too.
someone told me that their factory burned down.
i would liked to have experienced the smell of that.
() do bears shit on the wooden pope?, Thu 25 Nov 2004, 11:55, archived)

my mum has about 6 jars of branston the the cupboard
at the moment as there will be fighing in the streets come christmas when people can't get hold of it.
( Thor_sonofodin https://twitter.com/Thor_sonofodin, Thu 25 Nov 2004, 11:58, archived)

they were flogging it on eBay for 8 quid a jar or something...

( Reckless_Rik, Thu 25 Nov 2004, 12:01, archived)

Really?
There's one born every minute, jeeeez.
( tomsk, Thu 25 Nov 2004, 12:02, archived)

yip
read an article somewhere a few weeks ago

I like Branston myself, but it`s too easy to have to much on a cheese sandwich and then be sick of the stuff for months
( Reckless_Rik, Thu 25 Nov 2004, 12:05, archived)

there's also going to be a shortage of..um...
*checks store cupboard* cup-a-suoups... luckily i can lay my hand on most flavours and am will ing to sell them to you for only £10 per sachet!
() do bears shit on the wooden pope?, Thu 25 Nov 2004, 12:05, archived)

there's fighting in the streets at christmas even WITHOUT a
branston shortage. better board the windows and batten down the hatches this year
() do bears shit on the wooden pope?, Thu 25 Nov 2004, 12:03, archived)

Question:
Can anything other than hatches be battoned down?

( Sir Aunty Grampa Dave the Hat - Stuff happens - glee arms - more stuff - glee arms again . . . unexpected horse! - Ta! Cannaoogim!?, Thu 25 Nov 2004, 12:04, archived)

protesters?

( Reckless_Rik, Thu 25 Nov 2004, 12:05, archived)

Batton down the protesters!
Hmm? Doesn't sound quite right to me . . .

( Sir Aunty Grampa Dave the Hat - Stuff happens - glee arms - more stuff - glee arms again . . . unexpected horse! - Ta! Cannaoogim!?, Thu 25 Nov 2004, 12:07, archived)

you`re too young to remember the poll tax riots ;-)


or in Belfast it was the Anglo-Irish Agreement :D
( Reckless_Rik, Thu 25 Nov 2004, 12:09, archived)

Yes.
A batten is just a bit of wood, so you can batten pretty much anything down, apart from jelly and the like.
( tomsk, Thu 25 Nov 2004, 12:08, archived)

a batten is a piece of wood layed acrossways (in my magic dictionary anyway). battening down is therefor the act of using this crossways-ness to hold something in place.

so not too many things lend themselves to the act of battenary. a possum perhaps?
() do bears shit on the wooden pope?, Thu 25 Nov 2004, 12:09, archived)

i'll woo it
woo!
anyone know the link to the b3ta text only site?
(icedragon, Thu 25 Nov 2004, 11:58, archived)

www.b3ta.com/talk
( Thor_sonofodin https://twitter.com/Thor_sonofodin, Thu 25 Nov 2004, 12:00, archived)

thank'n ya both

(icedragon, Thu 25 Nov 2004, 12:01, archived)

this one?
( tomsk, Thu 25 Nov 2004, 12:00, archived)

Whats pink and hard in the morning?

( mcdoof is in your dad, Thu 25 Nov 2004, 12:03, archived)

My nob?

( Bohica Anne Frank's Bukkaki Tentacle Storm, Thu 25 Nov 2004, 12:04, archived)

No
The FT crossword

/badjoke

Woo to pic
( mcdoof is in your dad, Thu 25 Nov 2004, 12:05, archived)

The Blackpool Milkman's rock?

( Sir Aunty Grampa Dave the Hat - Stuff happens - glee arms - more stuff - glee arms again . . . unexpected horse! - Ta! Cannaoogim!?, Thu 25 Nov 2004, 12:05, archived)