this took bloody ages considering the crappness of it


From the If computer games were real challenge. See all 580 entries (closed)

(Absynth&Cheese Have you tasted my Jesus, Mon 29 Aug 2005, 16:49, archived)

It has width, but no length.
Your woman will not be satisfied.
( Grampa, Mon 29 Aug 2005, 16:52, archived)

turn your monitor
by 90degrees to obtain length
(Absynth&Cheese Have you tasted my Jesus, Mon 29 Aug 2005, 16:53, archived)

didn't they ever teach you sex ed at school!?
Long and thin goes too far in, but short and thick just does the trick!

Now write that out 500 times.
( Damocles, Mon 29 Aug 2005, 16:53, archived)

*remove dangerous sarcasm levels*
*reapply*
( Jessie © needs pirate name suggestions, Mon 29 Aug 2005, 16:56, archived)

( Damocles, Mon 29 Aug 2005, 16:57, archived)

See!
All Jesse Jessle cares about is length.
( Grampa, Mon 29 Aug 2005, 16:58, archived)

I think you missed the point

Edit: And it's JessIe, there's an 'i' in there!
( Jessie © needs pirate name suggestions, Mon 29 Aug 2005, 17:00, archived)

I think you did, too.
(:
( Grampa, Mon 29 Aug 2005, 17:00, archived)

This is very, very possible

...or Jess, no 'e'
( Jessie © needs pirate name suggestions, Mon 29 Aug 2005, 17:01, archived)

Jss?

(checkers, Mon 29 Aug 2005, 17:04, archived)

you forgot the i again
it's Jssi
( Damocles, Mon 29 Aug 2005, 17:05, archived)

That's one dyslexic away from Jizz.
But I didn't go there.
( Grampa, Mon 29 Aug 2005, 17:06, archived)

I was one dyslexix away from Jizz once,
but I just ended up with kitchen cleaner in my eye.
(checkers, Mon 29 Aug 2005, 17:09, archived)

*spangs*

( Jessie © needs pirate name suggestions, Mon 29 Aug 2005, 17:06, archived)

Thats the magic and wonder of the wizards sleeve

*runs*
( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Mon 29 Aug 2005, 17:00, archived)

And of course todays top tip
'Women love it when you accidently aim for the chocolate starfish....any complaints are simply confusion within their less developed minds'
( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Mon 29 Aug 2005, 16:58, archived)

In my opinion knocking her up successfully should result in immediate loss of game
Or at least the option of a 'fall down the stairs' mini game
( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Mon 29 Aug 2005, 16:52, archived)

rusty coathanger whiles she's pissed and full of sleeping pills
SPECIAL MOVE!
( Boondocks, YEAH! has a massive penis. Everyone is scared., Mon 29 Aug 2005, 16:54, archived)

Goodness
Aren't you guys hilarious
( Jessie © needs pirate name suggestions, Mon 29 Aug 2005, 16:55, archived)

Pink gin madam?
*crushes ice*
( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Mon 29 Aug 2005, 16:56, archived)

b3tans
the kings of Internet comedy, donchaknow.
(Psychosomatic Tumor Laugh your life cause there ain't much to cry for, Mon 29 Aug 2005, 16:57, archived)

*gains bottle of gin and hot bath power-up*

( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Mon 29 Aug 2005, 16:55, archived)

an empty feeling inside/antidepressant combo

( Boondocks, YEAH! has a massive penis. Everyone is scared., Mon 29 Aug 2005, 17:00, archived)

that made me chuckle
woo!
( deject one time dreamt that he was involutarily digesting, Mon 29 Aug 2005, 17:00, archived)

epic
i like that
( olivier8 (euroloon), Mon 29 Aug 2005, 17:02, archived)

i was
gunna do one of the entire life span including teenage zit battle mini game, middle age crisis mode, and the final battle between the carcinoma/pneumonia/heart attack/dodgy doctor monsters which no matter how hard you try you end up losing, but like dr shipman i lack patience (patients) see what i did there)
(Absynth&Cheese Have you tasted my Jesus, Mon 29 Aug 2005, 17:05, archived)

make a series of them
Level 1: In utero
Level 2: Toddler
Level 3: Stroppy fucking teen brat
Level 4: Smoking heroin

etc.
( drunkenoaf, Mon 29 Aug 2005, 17:15, archived)

hahahahahaha
you said enzyme bombs.
(Meta4 whats a meta for?, Mon 29 Aug 2005, 17:04, archived)

you do know
that that's good hummus.

But to be FP'd it needs to be 280px wide, not tall! ;P
( drunkenoaf, Mon 29 Aug 2005, 17:14, archived)