You can't really "Contract Cancer"
it is not infectious.... however you can increase your chances of developing cancer if you have certain viruses...
( gaijintendo ITS IN THE HOUSE, Mon 20 Feb 2006, 13:34, archived)

being pedantic raises your chance of contracting gay cancer by 98%!

( Ironman tetsuo Back once again with the renegade mastah!, Mon 20 Feb 2006, 13:37, archived)

also
bad aids?
( Discomeats DEFEND AMBIENT FOOD ITEMS!, Mon 20 Feb 2006, 13:39, archived)