It occurred to me in a dream...


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From the Demotivational Posters challenge. See all 480 entries (closed)

( jim_bob is a waterproof rapist. Apparently., Tue 5 Sep 2006, 23:45, archived)

looks like pink ice cream in a Philippe Starck cone
does it come with sprinkles?
(Ronnie Spleen knows you really fancy Miranda Hart, Vogon!, Tue 5 Sep 2006, 23:48, archived)

How true!
www.somethingawful.com/index.php?a=3299&p=7
( Know ye not Woodside? http://www.spam.com/lol, Tue 5 Sep 2006, 23:48, archived)

Why is it that dildos are almost an accessory for women,

yet when a guy tries to get an equivalent, he's ridiculed.


Not that I've got a fleshlight.

Or thought about it.


*cough*
( Evil Prof. Pixel Masher I made this!, Tue 5 Sep 2006, 23:48, archived)

You loved it so much
you bought the company
( koit WWW.HIGHASAKOIT.CO.UK, Tue 5 Sep 2006, 23:50, archived)

hahahahha

(cuak oh noes! i'm b3tarded, Wed 6 Sep 2006, 0:03, archived)

Because women can generally do what the hell they like without fear of ridicule
it's called "gender equality". See also the term "bi-curious".
( Know ye not Woodside? http://www.spam.com/lol, Tue 5 Sep 2006, 23:50, archived)

Except, you know, ugly women,
or promiscuous women,
or women that try to get anywhere in the business world...
( hanke a face like refried murder, Wed 6 Sep 2006, 0:07, archived)

Or men who like Star Trek
Or men who know how to dress
Or men who like to slice up babies and eat them

Oh look, it goes both ways! No wait! Women claim it doesn't, so it doesn't!

I'd like to sing a song about doggies.
( The Sisko I hate the whole world, Wed 6 Sep 2006, 0:49, archived)

That's true.
But women need something to jam up themselves, whilst men can generally cope with the old handy pandy.
( Naive Amoeba Hardly ever goes on this site anymore., Tue 5 Sep 2006, 23:59, archived)

*takes notes*

( connor, Wed 6 Sep 2006, 0:01, archived)

A girl can diddle
herself without the aid of tools.
( Pappa Ratzi had a strange dream last night., Wed 6 Sep 2006, 1:03, archived)

female sexuality is much more interesting to men
than male sexuality is to anybody?
( hanke a face like refried murder, Wed 6 Sep 2006, 0:17, archived)

haha I didn't think they actually
existed
( Neon Blue Ah ha ha, I feel positively Capital!, Tue 5 Sep 2006, 23:50, archived)

They do
and they come in scratch and sniff
( koit WWW.HIGHASAKOIT.CO.UK, Tue 5 Sep 2006, 23:50, archived)

do you still have the reciept?

( Neon Blue Ah ha ha, I feel positively Capital!, Tue 5 Sep 2006, 23:56, archived)

They also come in an anal version

( jim_bob is a waterproof rapist. Apparently., Tue 5 Sep 2006, 23:55, archived)

How do you know this?

( Know ye not Woodside? http://www.spam.com/lol, Tue 5 Sep 2006, 23:56, archived)

Through looking for the image for this thing
I saw pictures. I was quite surprised. I sent one to your home address.
( jim_bob is a waterproof rapist. Apparently., Tue 5 Sep 2006, 23:58, archived)

o_O

( Neon Blue Ah ha ha, I feel positively Capital!, Tue 5 Sep 2006, 23:56, archived)

And lamprey version

( Bloop wasn't here on, Tue 5 Sep 2006, 23:57, archived)

youch!
"i thought i ordered a jumbo version"

( mr spoons, Wed 6 Sep 2006, 0:01, archived)

AARG
lampreys are teh evil!
*cowers*
( urbane legend i have known the inexorable sadness of pencils, Wed 6 Sep 2006, 0:03, archived)

And thus Timmy hear brings a whole new meaning to the phrase
"A surfeit of lampreys".
( jim_bob is a waterproof rapist. Apparently., Wed 6 Sep 2006, 0:07, archived)

You've been on too many porn sites.
Although you failed to mention the mouth one.
( Naive Amoeba Hardly ever goes on this site anymore., Tue 5 Sep 2006, 23:58, archived)

Curses, caught out

( jim_bob is a waterproof rapist. Apparently., Wed 6 Sep 2006, 0:06, archived)

heh
www.b3ta.com/board/5773476
( drunkenoaf, Tue 5 Sep 2006, 23:57, archived)

At least
it allows me to avoid dealing with people. Yay for simulated sex without noisy meatbots!
(Psychosomatic Tumor Laugh your life cause there ain't much to cry for, Tue 5 Sep 2006, 23:59, archived)

i have a friend who works in a sleazy sex toy shop.
one of those on the main drag that mainly target tourists and college boys. she'll phone me and exclaim "i just sold another penis pump!", and has more than once been asked if they have a used toy section.


( postbear is creepy and old and gross, Wed 6 Sep 2006, 0:37, archived)

have a friend who s
( Ralph isn't back, just passing through...., Wed 6 Sep 2006, 0:39, archived)

i wish i worked there.
there'd be a used section very rapidly.


( postbear is creepy and old and gross, Wed 6 Sep 2006, 0:44, archived)

I love those ads...
"Feels just like the real thing!*"



*_{as far as you'll ever know}
( baw__bag contains traces of nuts on, Wed 6 Sep 2006, 1:30, archived)