Bah!
654 cheeses in their database and not a single one of them is Dairylea!
(shovelboy This is bad - Two minutes to Belgium, Mon 9 Oct 2006, 10:51, archived)

Dairylea is no cheese.
It's made out of eggs and rubber and spit.
( Walrus Man Think hippy thoughts, Mon 9 Oct 2006, 10:54, archived)

Ah
That would explain that delightful eggy-bouncy-spitty texture.

/prefers Laughing Cow anyway
(shovelboy This is bad - Two minutes to Belgium, Mon 9 Oct 2006, 10:57, archived)