'ning.
Went to an awards ceremony last night. Was shortlisted for a fairly prestigious gong.
Got there, and the 'shortlist' for MY crappy award had 34 names on it.
Like I've always said (ahem), awards don't mean anything.
Bastards.

Would you like to see a lame gag in pictorial form?



From the Old-age Superheroes challenge. See all 306 entries (closed)

( Sea Tramp swore at the wrong (ie right) 'people', Fri 13 Oct 2006, 12:08, archived)

What was the award for?

( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 13 Oct 2006, 12:10, archived)

Photoshop skills, obviously.

( Sea Tramp swore at the wrong (ie right) 'people', Fri 13 Oct 2006, 12:11, archived)

Your unwillingness to tell us makes it seem as if you're ashamed....

( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 13 Oct 2006, 12:12, archived)

the religious broadcasting awards were also last night
I heard them mentioned on Radio 2 this morning
( The Great Architect, Fri 13 Oct 2006, 12:17, archived)

Most gullable
attendee
( wibblywobbly - helping ugly people get laid since 1982, Fri 13 Oct 2006, 12:15, archived)

Not the....
Newspaper Society awards at the armoury in Leeds by any chance?
(gcellis, Fri 13 Oct 2006, 12:11, archived)

That's some mighty fine lurkage
Are you a(nother) Leeds B3tan/B3tard?
( The Blue Aardvark Unavoidably detained by reality, Fri 13 Oct 2006, 12:13, archived)

No....
London but the awards were in Leeds - won one myself but like you all say - theyre worth precicely nowt!
(gcellis, Fri 13 Oct 2006, 12:15, archived)

Close,
but no cigar.
Not too keen to reveal secret identity on internet in case Birmingham Public Libraries trace me & hit me with that big fine.
& Don't want employers to realise I do bugger all 3 days a week.
( Sea Tramp swore at the wrong (ie right) 'people', Fri 13 Oct 2006, 12:14, archived)

*Traces IP*
*Calls public libraries*
*Orders fly fishing by JR Hartley*
( Nonny Mouse. -- Scared as a Shitting Scorpion, Fri 13 Oct 2006, 12:28, archived)

They haven't got a copy.
I've had it out for 15 years.
( Sea Tramp swore at the wrong (ie right) 'people', Fri 13 Oct 2006, 12:31, archived)

Awards are merely certificates of mediocrity.
Unless they are awarded retrospectively or posthumously.
( Curis, Fri 13 Oct 2006, 12:13, archived)

I have a load of brownie badges
that beg to differ.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 13 Oct 2006, 12:13, archived)

Ooooh!
Did you get the one for complicated knots?
( J Peasemould Gruntfuttock has left., Fri 13 Oct 2006, 12:15, archived)

I got something for knots
At camp.

*forgets*
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 13 Oct 2006, 12:17, archived)

Band camp?

( wibblywobbly - helping ugly people get laid since 1982, Fri 13 Oct 2006, 12:21, archived)

Brownie camp.
And guide camp.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 13 Oct 2006, 12:25, archived)

I shall get around that by saying they are not awards.
Instead I will classify them along with sequins and buttons.
( Curis, Fri 13 Oct 2006, 12:15, archived)

I'll give you fucking classify, meladdo.

( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 13 Oct 2006, 12:17, archived)

Yay! I like presents.

( Curis, Fri 13 Oct 2006, 12:20, archived)

Things
you stole aren't awards
( wibblywobbly - helping ugly people get laid since 1982, Fri 13 Oct 2006, 12:17, archived)

Funnily enough,
I agree with Curis at the moment.
( Sea Tramp swore at the wrong (ie right) 'people', Fri 13 Oct 2006, 12:15, archived)

But doesn't this mean
that losing was your own fault for not being dead?
( Afinkawan, Fri 13 Oct 2006, 12:18, archived)

Well, yeah.
I'm saving up that achievement 'til the last moment.
( Sea Tramp swore at the wrong (ie right) 'people', Fri 13 Oct 2006, 12:20, archived)

I wish you'd get an award sometimes.

( Curis, Fri 13 Oct 2006, 12:21, archived)

That
is probably the oddest insult I've ever had.
( Afinkawan, Fri 13 Oct 2006, 12:24, archived)

Makes a change
from the bland, predictable insults that you usually have to wade through on here.
( Sea Tramp swore at the wrong (ie right) 'people', Fri 13 Oct 2006, 12:29, archived)

I'm crap
I still like 'cunthorse' the best.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 13 Oct 2006, 12:30, archived)

Yeah, that's kinda nice.
Someone got called a 'twatbadger' here (or somewhere else) the other week.
That stayed with me.
( Sea Tramp swore at the wrong (ie right) 'people', Fri 13 Oct 2006, 12:34, archived)