ah well - have some of this then


From the 2007 Obituaries challenge. See all 240 entries (closed)

(jagerman, Thu 28 Dec 2006, 12:59, archived)

Patrick Moore
plays the glockenspiel.
( wheelybird Paul's out of toilet paper - send donations, Thu 28 Dec 2006, 13:02, archived)

And my heartstrings
God I love that man. Not in a sexy way, just in the way you do love a man made out of spare bits, gurning and grimacing down a telescope.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 28 Dec 2006, 13:03, archived)

I think it is genetically hard-wired into the brains of all humans
to love a man made out of spare bits, gurning and grimacing down a telescope.
( wheelybird Paul's out of toilet paper - send donations, Thu 28 Dec 2006, 13:04, archived)

He's lovely.
And I loves him.

Crotchety old men rule, I wish I was one.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 28 Dec 2006, 13:05, archived)

But then your league of admiring fans
what fancy you will all be bewildered and slightly disgusted. The bloke ones anyway.
( wheelybird Paul's out of toilet paper - send donations, Thu 28 Dec 2006, 13:06, archived)

What if I still had the exquisite breasts?

( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 28 Dec 2006, 13:07, archived)

I didn't know you had exquisite breasts.

Show me a photo and I'll let you know.



/getting girls to flash their puppies blog
( wheelybird Paul's out of toilet paper - send donations, Thu 28 Dec 2006, 13:09, archived)

Pfft.
I'm older and wiser now.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 28 Dec 2006, 13:11, archived)

But not saggier?
That's an important consideration in my decision of whether you as a crotchety old man with breasts would keep hold of your league of men that fancy and admire you.
( wheelybird Paul's out of toilet paper - send donations, Thu 28 Dec 2006, 13:12, archived)

Well it depends
I'm saggier than when I was young. But then I'm larger too. You can't have perfectly perky tits when they're large, not without surgery.

Well, not for long.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 28 Dec 2006, 13:15, archived)

I've made my decision.


I'm afraid it just wouldn't work:


( wheelybird Paul's out of toilet paper - send donations, Thu 28 Dec 2006, 13:26, archived)

what if I was a really fit old man?
Like Keith Richards?

How old are we talking actually? Because Lemmy, Alan Rickman and Bill Nighy aren't spring chickens but they're all very nice.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 28 Dec 2006, 13:26, archived)

Silly Captain!

Just stick with being one of them girly things for now, and then in forty years you'll be able to be as grumpy and rude as you like, and people will say that it's the change. After that you can gibber, swear and piss yourself to your heart's content and it will have happened naturally and in its own good time.
( wheelybird Paul's out of toilet paper - send donations, Thu 28 Dec 2006, 13:29, archived)

and I've got to wait forty years to do all that?
*doesn't get up till everyone's gone home*
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 28 Dec 2006, 13:32, archived)

Good old
one-eyed xenophobes.
( kinks This is not an ah situation, Thu 28 Dec 2006, 13:07, archived)

legend

( Johno says the chances of anything coming from mars are a million to one But still they come on, Thu 28 Dec 2006, 13:05, archived)

Yes.
He invented chest-trousers before Simon Cowell was even born!

www.wheelybird.com/content/reduced_patrick_moore
( wheelybird Paul's out of toilet paper - send donations, Thu 28 Dec 2006, 13:08, archived)

my grandma used to fit his suits
he has the widest neck measurement shes ever seen!
( Johno says the chances of anything coming from mars are a million to one But still they come on, Thu 28 Dec 2006, 13:09, archived)

Crikey.
You wouldn't know to look at him, would you?

Perhaps it telescopes out.

Telescopes! Ha ha!
( wheelybird Paul's out of toilet paper - send donations, Thu 28 Dec 2006, 13:11, archived)

*Blanket over cage*

( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 28 Dec 2006, 13:18, archived)

He's a stump, that's why.

( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 28 Dec 2006, 13:11, archived)

xylophone
/pedant
( finnbar the occasional acid flashback, Thu 28 Dec 2006, 13:07, archived)

Opinion is divided on this matter.
I say glockenspiel.
( wheelybird Paul's out of toilet paper - send donations, Thu 28 Dec 2006, 13:08, archived)

not the greatest picture
but it's clearly wooden and thus a xylophone

it's also listed in his wiki entry :)
( finnbar the occasional acid flashback, Thu 28 Dec 2006, 13:25, archived)

Bring back gamesmaster
ftw
( P3te http://www.b3ta.com/links/Paint_It_Black, Thu 28 Dec 2006, 13:06, archived)

YES
One of my dreams was to be on Gamesmaster.

AND STILL.

'And here we have Captain, testing out the latest Grand Theft Auto from Rockstar Games'
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 28 Dec 2006, 13:08, archived)

Dexter Fletcher or Dominic Diamond

( P3te http://www.b3ta.com/links/Paint_It_Black, Thu 28 Dec 2006, 13:14, archived)

Dominic Diamond
He's a knobber, but he was good on gamesmaster
( 4dam party, Thu 28 Dec 2006, 13:19, archived)

I love Dexter Fletcher
So I'm going to say him, but it's got nothing to do with Gamesmaster.


Plus Dominik Diamond is a fucking cunt.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 28 Dec 2006, 13:20, archived)