From the 2007 Obituaries challenge. See all 240 entries (closed)

( nhojjohn one for the recovering ironics, Fri 29 Dec 2006, 21:40, archived)

how is that possible
if death dies that means
death lives so that death can kill itself.
But if death dies the world will overpopulate because no one will
ever die because who's gonna
kill them if death is dead.
EDIT: but woo to the pic
(The abominable coffee table Likes french fries, Fri 29 Dec 2006, 21:43, archived)

This is virtually the same argument
I use with Jehova's Witnesses, who expect everyone who's dead to be resurrected on Judgement Day to live forever if they admit to their sins and say sorry to God. Even Hitler. All he has to do is say "sorry God" and he'll live forever. In paradise. Bloody luatics, the lot of 'em.
(the_legendary_shark isn't really legendary at all, just rather dull., Fri 29 Dec 2006, 21:46, archived)

Aquatic luatics?
how pathatic.
( nhojjohn one for the recovering ironics, Fri 29 Dec 2006, 21:48, archived)

Damn paradoxes:
That means death lives!
( nhojjohn one for the recovering ironics, Fri 29 Dec 2006, 21:46, archived)

But how is that possible
I'll get high and give you an even better
answer
(The abominable coffee table Likes french fries, Fri 29 Dec 2006, 21:47, archived)

Perhaps
The Death of Rats might lend a hand?
(the_legendary_shark isn't really legendary at all, just rather dull., Fri 29 Dec 2006, 21:49, archived)

Ah, the Pratchett luatic...

( nhojjohn one for the recovering ironics, Fri 29 Dec 2006, 21:50, archived)

Just a normal, run of the mill lunatic
with a big knife. Bwa ha ha haa
(the_legendary_shark isn't really legendary at all, just rather dull., Fri 29 Dec 2006, 21:54, archived)