Surely this has bindun


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From the If Ads Told The Truth challenge. See all 457 entries (closed)

( evilamnesiac puts the sensual into non-consensual, Tue 10 Apr 2007, 16:27, archived)

I think all B3ta members should get a free go on her tits
it's only reasonable
( rob You should follow me http://twitter.com/robmanuel, Tue 10 Apr 2007, 16:27, archived)

*seconds motion*

( mictoboy, Tue 10 Apr 2007, 16:28, archived)

*feels motion*

( monkdagola is going to rapekiss you, Tue 10 Apr 2007, 16:28, archived)

*applies lotion to motion*

( The Neville : enjoying 'Splosion Man too much, Tue 10 Apr 2007, 16:29, archived)

*applies limes*

( mictoboy, Tue 10 Apr 2007, 16:29, archived)

*adds mint and cucumber* (of all things!)

( HappyToast sorted on, Tue 10 Apr 2007, 16:31, archived)

trust me

( mictoboy, Tue 10 Apr 2007, 16:31, archived)

*applies within*

/gah! running-thread dropout!
( The Legendary Pink Dot, Tue 10 Apr 2007, 16:31, archived)

*applies without*
(you ain't seen nothing like the Mighty Quinn) removed so other equally old people can have a go ;)
( HappyToast sorted on, Tue 10 Apr 2007, 16:31, archived)

*something about the mighty quinn*
edit: gah!
( mictoboy, Tue 10 Apr 2007, 16:31, archived)

23rd Best Dylan song ever*
*fact!
( The Legendary Pink Dot, Tue 10 Apr 2007, 16:34, archived)

what is 17th?

( mictoboy, Tue 10 Apr 2007, 16:35, archived)

My Back Pages

( The Legendary Pink Dot, Tue 10 Apr 2007, 16:36, archived)

9th?

( mictoboy, Tue 10 Apr 2007, 16:36, archived)

dunno,
can't think of anymore
( The Legendary Pink Dot, Tue 10 Apr 2007, 16:42, archived)

Queen Jane Approximately.
(OK, that was a guess)
( Sea Tramp The Good Life Christmas Special is on 2 at 7.30pm, Tue 10 Apr 2007, 16:37, archived)

No, no!
That's NUMBER 1!!!!!shift1!
( The Legendary Pink Dot, Tue 10 Apr 2007, 16:41, archived)

*points*
23!

*writes on walls*
( monkdagola is going to rapekiss you, Tue 10 Apr 2007, 16:36, archived)

*hasn't seen nothing like the Mighty Quinn*
Edit: Damn you mindmictoboy!
( Afinkawan, Tue 10 Apr 2007, 16:32, archived)

You ain't seen nothin'
like the mighty quinn

??Double Gah!!
( The Legendary Pink Dot, Tue 10 Apr 2007, 16:32, archived)

With Apples

( Uncle Gilly hides from Plato, Tue 10 Apr 2007, 16:32, archived)

I think I would pass on that

( Flowerpot slip in heavenly piss, Tue 10 Apr 2007, 16:29, archived)

don't lie to me.

( monkdagola is going to rapekiss you, Tue 10 Apr 2007, 16:29, archived)

I am not a Lebanese
I can appreciate the asthetic appeal of natural lady bumps but I don't want to fondle them.

( Flowerpot slip in heavenly piss, Tue 10 Apr 2007, 16:31, archived)

'lebanese' :D

( mictoboy, Tue 10 Apr 2007, 16:32, archived)

There you go again.

( monkdagola is going to rapekiss you, Tue 10 Apr 2007, 16:34, archived)

I bet I could turn you . . .


( Sir Aunty Grampa Dave the Hat - Can't find glasses he likes - Ta! Cannaoogim!?, Tue 10 Apr 2007, 16:35, archived)

heh

( mictoboy, Tue 10 Apr 2007, 16:36, archived)

Don't you like bouncy castles?

( Afinkawan, Tue 10 Apr 2007, 16:31, archived)

I thought you knew I was a girly
Still am, in fact.

( Flowerpot slip in heavenly piss, Tue 10 Apr 2007, 16:32, archived)

Yeah I know.
But 'have a go on' could mean all sorts of things when you're talking about inflated plastic things.

I didn't actually mean 'bouncy castles' as a euphemism.
( Afinkawan, Tue 10 Apr 2007, 16:35, archived)

You mention bouncy castles in a nork thread
then deny it was a euphamism!
I prefer trampolines :)

( Flowerpot slip in heavenly piss, Tue 10 Apr 2007, 16:38, archived)

Bouncy castles are the best.
Comfy fun.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 10 Apr 2007, 16:40, archived)

yeah, we all know what you're talking about!

( Aphex The Mink glasjay.blogspot.com, Tue 10 Apr 2007, 16:43, archived)

Pfft.
My boucy castles are the comfiest fun of all, but next to them, proper bouncy castles are the best in good terms.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 10 Apr 2007, 16:49, archived)

they do make sex a bit tricky though

( Aphex The Mink glasjay.blogspot.com, Tue 10 Apr 2007, 16:50, archived)

It's all about the rhythm.

( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 10 Apr 2007, 16:50, archived)

it's avoiding the kids that's the hard part
=D
( Aphex The Mink glasjay.blogspot.com, Tue 10 Apr 2007, 16:53, archived)

*dribbles*

( The King of Hats The bigger they are, the Hadoken they fall!, Tue 10 Apr 2007, 16:56, archived)

bugsy i go before the gingers

( The King of Hats The bigger they are, the Hadoken they fall!, Tue 10 Apr 2007, 16:29, archived)

'bugsy'?
surely it's 'bagsy'?
( mictoboy, Tue 10 Apr 2007, 16:30, archived)

he knows what he said :D

( HappyToast sorted on, Tue 10 Apr 2007, 16:31, archived)

either way
if i'm after you i'm treble baggin'
( The King of Hats The bigger they are, the Hadoken they fall!, Tue 10 Apr 2007, 16:34, archived)

If you go after this
ginger beast you'll need to wrap it in bandages just to touch the sides son! ;)
( Pasanonic so I compo anything with words, right?, Tue 10 Apr 2007, 16:37, archived)

ark at mr perfectq

( The King of Hats The bigger they are, the Hadoken they fall!, Tue 10 Apr 2007, 16:43, archived)

*smooshes*

( mictoboy, Tue 10 Apr 2007, 16:45, archived)

*spikes*
*takes advantage*
( The King of Hats The bigger they are, the Hadoken they fall!, Tue 10 Apr 2007, 16:49, archived)

hahaha
very good

edit:apostrophe police have been dispatched
( mictoboy, Tue 10 Apr 2007, 16:27, archived)

yeah
it comes out on a Tuesday
( Aphex The Mink glasjay.blogspot.com, Tue 10 Apr 2007, 16:28, archived)

i can remember the ads saying Thursday
a while ago
( King_Eric has been ok since, Tue 10 Apr 2007, 16:29, archived)

I'm sure the Nuts editors aren't really much more intelligent than their readers.

( Afinkawan, Tue 10 Apr 2007, 16:31, archived)

They hired Johnny 'Prick of the century' Vaughn.
So yes.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 10 Apr 2007, 16:50, archived)

Johnny "Film critic who never turns up the screenings and so never actually sees the films he's supposed to be reviewing" Vaughn?

( emvee I wanna do bad things to you, Tue 10 Apr 2007, 16:54, archived)

That's the one.
Johnny 'Anything bad said about him in apostrophes between his first name and surname must be true as he's a twunt' Vaughn.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 10 Apr 2007, 17:00, archived)

arf!

( monkdagola is going to rapekiss you, Tue 10 Apr 2007, 16:29, archived)

B3tan's what?
[edit] Damn you Micto!!!
( emvee I wanna do bad things to you, Tue 10 Apr 2007, 16:32, archived)

haha
cnut!
( monkdagola is going to rapekiss you, Tue 10 Apr 2007, 16:35, archived)

Hahahaha Good shout!

(Chungo Our survey says - Feck Off!, Tue 10 Apr 2007, 16:35, archived)

TJ: And apologies for the woeful bad form
Does anyone have a spare mo to shop either of the pics from this article please?

www.southwalesargus.co.uk/news/swanews/display.var.1317056.0.slim_running.php

It's a mate who's weight-loss has made the local rag as 'news'. I think he should pay for this shameless self-promotion.

*fully expects abuse and whatareweyourphotoshoppingbitches.com suggestions but HOPES someone is nice and is in a good mood*
(R. Jimlad was wanking when he wrote this on, Tue 10 Apr 2007, 16:35, archived)

I don't think either of those
need shopping.

People are generally nicer when you post requests like this in an existing thread. Well done.
( Afinkawan, Tue 10 Apr 2007, 16:38, archived)

Ta
I've tended to get through life being a bit cheeky but without being a complete cock about things :)
(R. Jimlad was wanking when he wrote this on, Tue 10 Apr 2007, 16:41, archived)

I'm in a fine mood thank you very much
and think he's done a marvellous thing for himself and his family.
I bet he could kill for a pack of pork scratchings though.
( Geoff the Clownfish MADAMA butterfly and the NAGASAKI MUSHROOM!, Tue 10 Apr 2007, 16:39, archived)

Ah, but...
Those of us who know him know he's STILL out for "nine pints with the lads" and smoking and then asking for shorts at the curryhouse afterwards.

'Shorts' the drink not 'shorts' to go running in.
(R. Jimlad was wanking when he wrote this on, Tue 10 Apr 2007, 16:43, archived)

Did you mean like this? (NSFW)
shopped!

You didn't say how you wanted it shopped or anything
(thistle, Tue 10 Apr 2007, 16:53, archived)

I'll have to
let you know when I get home!

I've noted the NSFW tag and have lurked long enough to not be clicking anything with lemonparty in the URL!
(R. Jimlad was wanking when he wrote this on, Tue 10 Apr 2007, 16:59, archived)

You probably don't need to click
and can work it out from the name!
(thistle, Tue 10 Apr 2007, 17:02, archived)

I've said it before, I'll say it again,
Nuts generally print the true 'spam' that has done the rounds, and don't actively go looking for B3ta stuff.
One member contacted them after they published on of his pics, and without any fuss or bother accepted it was his work and gave a generous sum to charity.
They do tend to print the older, 'known' virals.
ZOO, on the other hand, are thieving, robbing scumbags who regularly trawl B3ta and user blogs lifting any image they want for publication,
and even though they have only recently started acknowledging the 'creator' they still insist that the user contacts them for credit/prize etc,
rather than doing the courteous thing and contacting the user BEFORE lifting the image asking if it is ok, which would also settle any copyright infringements which could be addressed prior to publication.
They also have a tendency for denial. Shifty bastards.
( The Great Architect, Tue 10 Apr 2007, 16:35, archived)

Zoo actually state now
"all images from b3ta.com unless otherwise stated"
( Pasanonic so I compo anything with words, right?, Tue 10 Apr 2007, 16:38, archived)

yup, and it took a fair bit of nagging at 'em to get that
they're still not acknowledging the problems and questions put to them prior to putting that small note though.
( The Great Architect, Tue 10 Apr 2007, 16:39, archived)

I don't know how they have the
gall to award prizes to any old twat that can copy an image from the internet. They should at least have a compo for images users made and make them agree to a legal disclaimer.
( Pasanonic so I compo anything with words, right?, Tue 10 Apr 2007, 16:48, archived)

They now - by virtue of the credit and disclaimer note - acknowledge that nearly all images come from B3ta,
so what is so hard about setting up an account, and sending a gaz to the user who has produced an image they want to print?
They can then organise and send prizes/credits straight away, with no fuss or bother, and at least bung a tenner to the other users whose work they print but don't win the main prize
( The Great Architect, Tue 10 Apr 2007, 16:56, archived)

They're stealing from Worth1000 too though.
I notified the admin there and he's looking into it.
(oilcorner, Tue 10 Apr 2007, 17:07, archived)

but the lovely girl there did email me back....

( freebs the wo-orld... let them know it's Chris' Nap Time, Tue 10 Apr 2007, 16:40, archived)

( The King of Hats The bigger they are, the Hadoken they fall!, Tue 10 Apr 2007, 16:40, archived)

don't worry, they all die
and live happily ever after

;)
( The Great Architect, Tue 10 Apr 2007, 16:41, archived)