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From the Creationism challenge. See all 279 entries (closed)

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The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Thu 14 Jun 2007, 10:26, archived)

Hahahaha

Ace!

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AutoPrawn is glad we're living in the future now, Thu 14 Jun 2007, 10:27, archived)

HAhahahahahahhahahah :D

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HappyToast Groat froth, Thu 14 Jun 2007, 10:27, archived)

£10 on God to win in the first by knockout

Oh and HAHA :)

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cooler_king That's no moon!, Thu 14 Jun 2007, 10:27, archived)

I donno, Darwin has a bit of a vendetta there

If God gave me a willy that small, I'd also hold a grudge

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AutoPrawn is glad we're living in the future now, Thu 14 Jun 2007, 10:33, archived)

*gets out binoculars*

He did, didn't he?

(Mrs Trellis GIN, Thu 14 Jun 2007, 10:33, archived)

it'd never stand up in court...

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The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Thu 14 Jun 2007, 10:34, archived)

or anywhere else

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Aphex The Mink Snackless, Thu 14 Jun 2007, 10:35, archived)

'Ning Phexy

Nice pic of wasted earlier: just saw it before the internet crashed :-(

(Mrs Trellis GIN, Thu 14 Jun 2007, 10:36, archived)

'ning Sexy McTrelly

thanks very much.
why did your internet crash?
you downloading all the porn again?

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Aphex The Mink Snackless, Thu 14 Jun 2007, 10:37, archived)

Damn, sussed

No, we don't know why. Just a shitty connection that does that from time to time

(Mrs Trellis GIN, Thu 14 Jun 2007, 10:42, archived)

bloody nhs

*shakes fist*

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Aphex The Mink Snackless, Thu 14 Jun 2007, 10:43, archived)

Ah, but mine isn't paid for by the NHS

So that doesn't work

(Mrs Trellis GIN, Thu 14 Jun 2007, 10:48, archived)

bloody whoever pays for yours

*weakly waves half clenched fist*

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Aphex The Mink Snackless, Thu 14 Jun 2007, 10:50, archived)

ours does it all the time.

i feel your pain!

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ivesb Highly specialised Clinical Physiologist crapbag, Thu 14 Jun 2007, 10:44, archived)

ahem.

petrina

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ivesb Highly specialised Clinical Physiologist crapbag, Thu 14 Jun 2007, 10:38, archived)

dish?

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Mighty Nibus who dares gins | @nibus, Thu 14 Jun 2007, 10:39, archived)

Fish?

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cooler_king That's no moon!, Thu 14 Jun 2007, 10:40, archived)

but without no money it's still a wish

and I don't like to dream about getting paid, so I dig into the books of the rhymes that I ma... actually - KoHs isn't here is he... erm, sorry everyone else.

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Prof UnderCover evitable, Thu 14 Jun 2007, 10:42, archived)

*slap*

mind your manners benjy

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Aphex The Mink Snackless, Thu 14 Jun 2007, 10:41, archived)

*rubs ear*

ow!! what did i do?

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ivesb Highly specialised Clinical Physiologist crapbag, Thu 14 Jun 2007, 10:42, archived)

it's not what you done

it's the way you done it

now go to your room!

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Aphex The Mink Snackless, Thu 14 Jun 2007, 10:42, archived)

awww!

*goes to room*
*take trousers off, draps self over bed and waits*

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ivesb Highly specialised Clinical Physiologist crapbag, Thu 14 Jun 2007, 10:45, archived)

*fetches the drill*

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Aphex The Mink Snackless, Thu 14 Jun 2007, 10:55, archived)

Cheat! Cheat!

(Mrs Trellis GIN, Thu 14 Jun 2007, 10:43, archived)

i resemble that remark!!!

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ivesb Highly specialised Clinical Physiologist crapbag, Thu 14 Jun 2007, 10:47, archived)

I don't mind things like that...

It's kind of reassuring...

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Sonic James Doom forgetting the date since... umm..., Thu 14 Jun 2007, 10:34, archived)

you're a bitter man

aren't you.

*gives number of a fantastic plastic surgeon*

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Thor_sonofodin has done things, terrible things on, Thu 14 Jun 2007, 10:34, archived)

Can you get willy enlargements?

Would you always be at attention?

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AutoPrawn is glad we're living in the future now, Thu 14 Jun 2007, 10:37, archived)

John Wayne Bobbitt did

Right after his wife cut it off

(Mrs Trellis GIN, Thu 14 Jun 2007, 10:37, archived)

We're talking about the God of Gods

the one and only Holy Spirit universe making entity.

Put it another way. Could God beat up a Bear... probably. Could Darwin...No! So by using logic we see that i win £10

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cooler_king That's no moon!, Thu 14 Jun 2007, 10:37, archived)

ah but

Darwin could front up to God

but God couldn't

cos he is him*

* may contain point somewhere...buried...vague

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Mighty Nibus who dares gins | @nibus, Thu 14 Jun 2007, 10:39, archived)

Hmmm i see you point

But dismiss it as wizardry!

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cooler_king That's no moon!, Thu 14 Jun 2007, 10:41, archived)

I donno, Darwin could probably hold his own

And what kind of bear are we talking about?

Would they start with small bears like teddy bears and then work their way up?
Or just create one awesome bear?

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AutoPrawn is glad we're living in the future now, Thu 14 Jun 2007, 10:40, archived)

Well in my mind i was thinking of

a bear that evolves whilst fighting. Starts off small and gradually evolves it to a awesome fighting bear. Which would probably develop it's own style of martial arts.

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cooler_king That's no moon!, Thu 14 Jun 2007, 10:42, archived)

Surely it would evolve to a point where it could beat God?

Thus becoming God in a highlander type scenario?

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AutoPrawn is glad we're living in the future now, Thu 14 Jun 2007, 10:44, archived)

Yes but all it knows is fighting

So it would travel the universe searching for another opponent who could match his powers. Destroying the universe in the process. So we go full circle and that explains the big bang.

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cooler_king That's no moon!, Thu 14 Jun 2007, 10:46, archived)

Darwin vs Ultrabear

ft. Fiddly Cent

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Mighty Nibus who dares gins | @nibus, Thu 14 Jun 2007, 10:42, archived)

It's not fair!

God has lots of helpers, and is on the higher ground!

/Star Wars blog

WOO!

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mediocre ha ha ha, you're reading this, Thu 14 Jun 2007, 10:27, archived)

hahahaha!

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Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Thu 14 Jun 2007, 10:27, archived)

'ave 'im darwin!!

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ivesb Highly specialised Clinical Physiologist crapbag, Thu 14 Jun 2007, 10:28, archived)

Haha, What are the chances of that?, etc

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ERG1008 is climbing in yo windows & snatchin yo people up, Thu 14 Jun 2007, 10:28, archived)

Hahahaha!!!

Brill!

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Hamster Trippin' aka Mr. Titts, Thu 14 Jun 2007, 10:28, archived)

Now that

deserves a click and a big WOO!

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theoriginalsteve <this space intentionally left blank>, Thu 14 Jun 2007, 10:29, archived)

woo yay

also - that pic makes Darwin look very lonely and God look like a bit of a perv.

'stop looking at all my ... fat children, one bird and that bloke I'm sitting on!'

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Prof UnderCover evitable, Thu 14 Jun 2007, 10:29, archived)

hahahaha

that has made me laugh out loud in my office
there should be a word for that

plus no wonder Darwin is lonely ... lovely beard, shame about the micro-dong

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Debbilgrrrrl is kinda back, Thu 14 Jun 2007, 10:30, archived)

devine noncing?

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mediocre ha ha ha, you're reading this, Thu 14 Jun 2007, 10:31, archived)

there is!

LOL.

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ivesb Highly specialised Clinical Physiologist crapbag, Thu 14 Jun 2007, 10:32, archived)

Woo!

Haha!

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Monty Propps, Thu 14 Jun 2007, 10:30, archived)

Bwahahahahahaha!

That is all of the ace!

FIGHT!

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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 14 Jun 2007, 10:30, archived)

hahaha

inspired choice of referee

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Milkman Dan, Thu 14 Jun 2007, 10:30, archived)

Haha!

Ning all. Question for the ladies (and blokes I suppose) - would you object to being called 'madam' by somebody who doesn't know you, if they were providing a commercial service? I've just had a right telling off for calling someone 'madam' - apart from calling people mrs or woman from now on, I'm stumped.

Any suggestions?

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Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 14 Jun 2007, 10:30, archived)

good point

when I had a bar job, blokes were generally 'Sir', but I had no idea how to address women

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Milkman Dan, Thu 14 Jun 2007, 10:31, archived)

I was always told (bearing in mind I actually have qualifications in customer service, I've spent 4 years all in all learning my trade)

That madam is the most polite term, under ma'am which is more dignitaries and royalty (which is weird, being the shortened or colloquialisation of 'madam').

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Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 14 Jun 2007, 10:33, archived)

Nothing wrong with it i think

Why did they take offence?

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cooler_king That's no moon!, Thu 14 Jun 2007, 10:34, archived)

Your guess is as good as mine.

Oh well, nevermind. Hopefully if she does contact us back she'll get through to another one of us who she prefers.

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Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 14 Jun 2007, 10:37, archived)

Oh well

I wouldn't worry about it. She sounds like she was having a bad day.

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cooler_king That's no moon!, Thu 14 Jun 2007, 10:38, archived)

she was probably angry about something else

or very very simple minded

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Prof UnderCover evitable, Thu 14 Jun 2007, 10:40, archived)

Who did you get told off by?

When I did work like that I always called the women madam.

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Afinkawan Yes I can hear you Clem Fandango, Thu 14 Jun 2007, 10:35, archived)

a client.

I couldn't let her change something as it'd have been contravening legislation. It's stupid legislation, to be fair, and I'd love it if I could have allowed it as it'd make my job a billion times easier. I really felt for her as well, totally understood what she wanted to do and why.

I was a little bit hurt, to be honest.

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Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 14 Jun 2007, 10:36, archived)

Well if she's stupid enough to get annoyed at being called 'madam'

you might as well just sit back and enjoy the fact you annoy her when you call her madam.

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Afinkawan Yes I can hear you Clem Fandango, Thu 14 Jun 2007, 10:41, archived)

she was just in a shitty because you couldn't help her and thats all she could come up with!

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ivesb Highly specialised Clinical Physiologist crapbag, Thu 14 Jun 2007, 10:43, archived)

Prob'ly right.

Next time call her 'madman' but try to make it sound like 'madam' in case anyone overhears.

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Afinkawan Yes I can hear you Clem Fandango, Thu 14 Jun 2007, 10:47, archived)

It sounds like she just wanted to vent her frustration

she wouldn't have got anywhere with the legislation, so she picked on something irrelevant. I had a girlfriend who made an art of this sort of thing.

Edit: Maybe it was her, was she called Wendy?

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fuscous, Thu 14 Jun 2007, 10:47, archived)

no - that seems the polite phrase to me

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Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Thu 14 Jun 2007, 10:32, archived)

unless they're obviously married

I find "Miss" goes down quite well

...

(0800221155 Coldseal windows, Thu 14 Jun 2007, 10:32, archived)

Twas a mrs.

And I wouldn't get away with miss, it'd be seen as disrespectful I'm afraid (weird, innit?)

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Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 14 Jun 2007, 10:34, archived)

Saying "mrs" doesn't really work, does it?

Hmm.

Try "M'lady", then insist you're not taking the piss.

(0800221155 Coldseal windows, Thu 14 Jun 2007, 10:35, archived)

this^

I stuck to miss and sir

Except I've been called sir on occasion and it does make you feel a bit dated

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AutoPrawn is glad we're living in the future now, Thu 14 Jun 2007, 10:34, archived)

which miss is this?

*takes notes*

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Aphex The Mink Snackless, Thu 14 Jun 2007, 10:34, archived)

that's for me to know!

(0800221155 Coldseal windows, Thu 14 Jun 2007, 10:36, archived)

Just stick to the good ol' maaaa'aaaaam

Bottom stylee

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mediocre ha ha ha, you're reading this, Thu 14 Jun 2007, 10:32, archived)

I'd not like it

It'd make me feel old, or that they were being sarcastic or something.
But I'd not kick off about it.

I call everyone, male and female, 'babe'. They all hate me.

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Debbilgrrrrl is kinda back, Thu 14 Jun 2007, 10:32, archived)

you don't call me babe!

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ivesb Highly specialised Clinical Physiologist crapbag, Thu 14 Jun 2007, 10:33, archived)

or me

i can't say what she calls me, it's far too rude =D

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Aphex The Mink Snackless, Thu 14 Jun 2007, 10:35, archived)

o_O

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ivesb Highly specialised Clinical Physiologist crapbag, Thu 14 Jun 2007, 10:37, archived)

Yeah but this is the internets

I'm not actually talking, you know.

And Aphex is a very naughty boy.

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Debbilgrrrrl is kinda back, Thu 14 Jun 2007, 10:40, archived)

i'm naughty!!

*knocks vase over*
see!

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ivesb Highly specialised Clinical Physiologist crapbag, Thu 14 Jun 2007, 10:41, archived)

attention

seeking

nonesense!

/black books

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Prof UnderCover evitable, Thu 14 Jun 2007, 10:46, archived)

Ah what the hell

*spanks you too*

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Debbilgrrrrl is kinda back, Thu 14 Jun 2007, 10:50, archived)

*spanks*

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Debbilgrrrrl is kinda back, Thu 14 Jun 2007, 10:49, archived)

ohh!!

harder!

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ivesb Highly specialised Clinical Physiologist crapbag, Thu 14 Jun 2007, 10:50, archived)

ohhh!

so it is!

O_O

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Debbilgrrrrl is kinda back, Thu 14 Jun 2007, 10:53, archived)

*GRIN*

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Aphex The Mink Snackless, Thu 14 Jun 2007, 10:42, archived)

So what would you prefer?

And if I called a client babe at work I'd get the sack.

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Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 14 Jun 2007, 10:35, archived)

I don't really know

I tend not to address people as anything in a professional capacity if I can avoid it.

I would have thought madam was the correct word, if any.

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Debbilgrrrrl is kinda back, Thu 14 Jun 2007, 10:38, archived)

when patients or reletives want to talk to me,

it's sir or madam.
thats polite.

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ivesb Highly specialised Clinical Physiologist crapbag, Thu 14 Jun 2007, 10:32, archived)

was it the way you said it?

did you call her a little madam?

try using miss or ms
or failing that cunty chops
=D

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Aphex The Mink Snackless, Thu 14 Jun 2007, 10:34, archived)

She was a mrs, and that'd just be silly to call her that.

And no, just madam, no inflection or extra words.

I'm mystified.

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Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 14 Jun 2007, 10:35, archived)

if you knew her name you could have called her that

mrs cuntychops for example

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Aphex The Mink Snackless, Thu 14 Jun 2007, 10:36, archived)

Well, I think she should get over it

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mediocre ha ha ha, you're reading this, Thu 14 Jun 2007, 10:38, archived)

there you are!!

i checked b3ta at home yesterday and i saw your gaz!!
i am not a filthy liar!
yes i can gaz but theres no point because i can't see replies at work!!

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ivesb Highly specialised Clinical Physiologist crapbag, Thu 14 Jun 2007, 10:35, archived)

eh?

what?
filthy liar?

did i call you a filthy liar?

so you can send gaz's at work but you can't receive them?

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Aphex The Mink Snackless, Thu 14 Jun 2007, 10:38, archived)

yep

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ivesb Highly specialised Clinical Physiologist crapbag, Thu 14 Jun 2007, 10:39, archived)

you address letters to sir/madam

they shouldn't be able to pull you up for it:

wiki knows all:
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Madam

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The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Thu 14 Jun 2007, 10:34, archived)

God bless wiki.

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Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 14 Jun 2007, 10:44, archived)

and all who sail in her!

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The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Thu 14 Jun 2007, 10:45, archived)

naw, call em madam

or Mrs/Ms Somebody

various elderly relatives of mine are always complaining that people ring em up and use their first name

is a bit weird to be told off for calling someone 'madam' and not be told what you *should* call them

edit: was it this woman who told you off, or your boss?

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Mighty Nibus who dares gins | @nibus, Thu 14 Jun 2007, 10:36, archived)

The lady.

Oooh, I'd never call someone by their first name, that'd be professional death for me.

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Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 14 Jun 2007, 10:43, archived)

Was it madam or madame?

It makes a world of difference you know...

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Sonic James Doom forgetting the date since... umm..., Thu 14 Jun 2007, 10:36, archived)

I'm not saying 'madahhhme'

That sounds silly to me.

I believe the phrase was somewhere along the lines of 'I really do apologise for that madam but...'

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Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 14 Jun 2007, 10:40, archived)

"...I'm going to have to come round and beat you to a pulp with this oversize shoe covered in dogshit"

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Mighty Nibus who dares gins | @nibus, Thu 14 Jun 2007, 10:42, archived)

Next time tell her to get fucked.

See how that goes down...

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Sonic James Doom forgetting the date since... umm..., Thu 14 Jun 2007, 10:44, archived)

Are you going to pay my mortgage?!

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Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 14 Jun 2007, 10:44, archived)

Errr...

would you like me to pay your mortgage?

Actually, don't answer that...

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Sonic James Doom forgetting the date since... umm..., Thu 14 Jun 2007, 10:51, archived)

Fuck 'em

It's like people who get upset if you call them mate & say "I'm not your mate".
Fuck off & grow up.

/rant

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ERG1008 is climbing in yo windows & snatchin yo people up, Thu 14 Jun 2007, 10:37, archived)

sorry mate

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Mighty Nibus who dares gins | @nibus, Thu 14 Jun 2007, 10:38, archived)

I'm not your...

Oh!

bugger

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ERG1008 is climbing in yo windows & snatchin yo people up, Thu 14 Jun 2007, 10:40, archived)

Chill, babe!

;)

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Debbilgrrrrl is kinda back, Thu 14 Jun 2007, 10:42, archived)

Thanks Debs.

I think it's all this rain that's affecting my cycle.

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ERG1008 is climbing in yo windows & snatchin yo people up, Thu 14 Jun 2007, 10:46, archived)

I honestly can't see anything wrong with that at all. What else are you supposed to call her, exactly?

If you know her surname then go for that, but if not....blimey, its not worth a bollocking.

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SugarSpunSister Yeah, whatever, Thu 14 Jun 2007, 10:37, archived)

Pfft

customer service agents have always been hated, it doesn't matter what they do.

People have to be careful now though, it's technically illegal to have a go at us for no reason (or so I've been informed).

Problem is I'm fucking shit hot at my job (not blowing my own kazoo, everyone's got to be good at something) and people never seem to appreciate that.

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Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 14 Jun 2007, 10:46, archived)

Such is customer service I guess

Its one of those jobs that take a lot more than people think. Patience, for one.

*hugs*

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SugarSpunSister Yeah, whatever, Thu 14 Jun 2007, 10:48, archived)

*hugs*

Cheers! It's nice to be appreciated.

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Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 14 Jun 2007, 11:01, archived)

that is awesome :D

utter genius :D