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[challenge entry] "Move along... nothing to see here!"


From the Gordon Brown challenge. See all 363 entries (closed)

(I helped save b3ta! Manic declared war on Old Media, Fri 29 Jun 2007, 13:49, archived)
# haha

(I helped save b3ta! Griffy Savalas Become her drillosaur, Fri 29 Jun 2007, 13:50, archived)
# do not cross
as in do not piss them off . or they'll kick ya feckin'edin
(waxdart Stormed it last night :), Fri 29 Jun 2007, 13:50, archived)
# I was drunk
and there was police tape between me and where I wanted to be. And a police man who wouldn't let me wander through (It was the quickest route home, seemed lilke a resonable reqest to me...). My wrist still hurts from where I landed when he shoved me away.
(I helped save b3ta! blenderboy, Fri 29 Jun 2007, 13:53, archived)
# I assume they'd have had police tape up for a reason
It'd kinda defeat the point if they let people wander through all willy nilly
(I helped save b3ta! Keyboard Weasel, Fri 29 Jun 2007, 13:55, archived)
# they just do it to use up the budget
like the council and road works in March
(I helped save b3ta! Prof UnderCover belligerence aroused by a real or supposed wrong, Fri 29 Jun 2007, 13:57, archived)
# "It appears that we haven't used up our quota of tape this term"
"McNaulty, Go cordon off a bunch of important roads and walkways. Maybe a few homes too. If anyone asks, say "police business" and punch them in the guts "
(I helped save b3ta! Keyboard Weasel, Fri 29 Jun 2007, 14:00, archived)
# "and remember - wearing a uniform makes you look official...
if anyone questions the uniform beat them into submission."
(I helped save b3ta! Prof UnderCover belligerence aroused by a real or supposed wrong, Fri 29 Jun 2007, 14:04, archived)
# *Hands over badge and gun*
Welcome to the police force, son.
*smokes pipe*
(I helped save b3ta! Keyboard Weasel, Fri 29 Jun 2007, 14:08, archived)
# *hands in badge*
*goes it alone*
*doesn't get very far*

can I have my badge back please?
(I helped save b3ta! Prof UnderCover belligerence aroused by a real or supposed wrong, Fri 29 Jun 2007, 14:11, archived)
# Only if you agree to having this rather annoying Joe Pesci sidekick
And promise to stumble onto a few drug cartels every month with hilarious consequences
(I helped save b3ta! Keyboard Weasel, Fri 29 Jun 2007, 14:14, archived)
# okaaaay...
how much nudity will there be...? I see nudity as being central to the whole project, reflecting how much of their time real police men spend in the company of naked people, mostly women.
(I helped save b3ta! Prof UnderCover belligerence aroused by a real or supposed wrong, Fri 29 Jun 2007, 14:18, archived)
# Well according to this handy chart...
*produces flip chart from pocket*
Nudity increases with time spent policing.
But so does the likelihood of being punched in the nuts by nekkid lady-ninjas
(I helped save b3ta! Keyboard Weasel, Fri 29 Jun 2007, 14:21, archived)
# *narrows eyes*
but these naked lady ninjas... they're naked ladies right? I mean that isn't some kind of misleading name where you get all excited and then some bloke in hammer pants turns up and it's not nearly the same.
(I helped save b3ta! Prof UnderCover belligerence aroused by a real or supposed wrong, Fri 29 Jun 2007, 14:24, archived)
# It wasn't on the news
so it dosen't count. It was just there to annoy me and make me take an ever so slightly longer route home.
(I helped save b3ta! blenderboy, Fri 29 Jun 2007, 13:59, archived)
# I'm sure I saw this on telly
Jamie Theakston narrated it
(I helped save b3ta! Griffy Savalas Become her drillosaur, Fri 29 Jun 2007, 14:06, archived)
# he's desperate for work
since everyone found out he's got a tiny wang
(I helped save b3ta! Prof UnderCover belligerence aroused by a real or supposed wrong, Fri 29 Jun 2007, 14:07, archived)
# and he's so tall too

(I helped save b3ta! Griffy Savalas Become her drillosaur, Fri 29 Jun 2007, 14:09, archived)
# allegedly

(I helped save b3ta! Prof UnderCover belligerence aroused by a real or supposed wrong, Fri 29 Jun 2007, 14:12, archived)
# Quite possibly
It was in manchester, which appears to be where every crime EVER happens. According to Theakston
(I helped save b3ta! blenderboy, Fri 29 Jun 2007, 14:08, archived)
# CRIMEchester
here, somewhere, someone, is doing some drugs... possibly near YOUR HOUSE!
(I helped save b3ta! Prof UnderCover belligerence aroused by a real or supposed wrong, Fri 29 Jun 2007, 14:10, archived)
# Nah it's a popular misconception
Ah bugger someones nicked my mouse.
(I helped save b3ta! ERG1008 Ich heiße Superphantastisch, Fri 29 Jun 2007, 14:11, archived)
# HAHA
I HAVE ALL THE MOUSES!
(I helped save b3ta! blenderboy, Fri 29 Jun 2007, 14:16, archived)
# I'll trade you a trackball for a mouse

(I helped save b3ta! Keyboard Weasel, Fri 29 Jun 2007, 14:18, archived)
# pah
trackballs rule on high over everything else... I will never get repetative strain injury... in the office
(I helped save b3ta! Prof UnderCover belligerence aroused by a real or supposed wrong, Fri 29 Jun 2007, 14:20, archived)
# brutality!!
I once had a copper slide right across the bonnet of my car like something out of a film while chasing a criminal through traffic. Unfortunately the drama was tempered a little by the fact that he gouged a huge scratch across my car with his hand cuffs and fell off the edge of the bonnet and broke his ankle.
(I helped save b3ta! Prof UnderCover belligerence aroused by a real or supposed wrong, Fri 29 Jun 2007, 13:56, archived)
# hahaha!!
numpty.
(I helped save b3ta! ivesb Assistant Clinical Physiologist extraordinary, Fri 29 Jun 2007, 13:58, archived)
# You should be proud that he scratched your bonnet in the name of Peace, Justice and the American way
*salutes*
What a hero
(I helped save b3ta! Keyboard Weasel, Fri 29 Jun 2007, 13:58, archived)
# yeah - well - I didn't feel too proud when I went to the PoPo station in Glasgow
to ask for the money to get my bonnet resprayed...

'he broke his ankle you know'
'yeah - he did it while he was f*cking my car up'
'no, he did it while chasing a criminal... are you a criminal?'
'well - erm... no... stop looking at me like that, I don't have a criminal record'
'oh - I'm sure we can find something if we look hard enough... just because we've never caught you doing something wrong doesn't mean you're not a criminal... it's the one's who are too good to ever get caught that are our main concern'
'I'll be going now... I've just remembered my car's alright... and I don't even like it anyway... do you want it?'
(I helped save b3ta! Prof UnderCover belligerence aroused by a real or supposed wrong, Fri 29 Jun 2007, 14:03, archived)
# "PoPo"?
That means bottom in German
(I helped save b3ta! Dixipoos Bye Bye Blackbird, Fri 29 Jun 2007, 14:31, archived)
# =O
*stands around staring*
*takes photos with mobile phone*
*doesn't actually help in any way*
(I helped save b3ta! Keyboard Weasel, Fri 29 Jun 2007, 13:51, archived)
# send them to the bbc

(I helped save b3ta! ivesb Assistant Clinical Physiologist extraordinary, Fri 29 Jun 2007, 13:52, archived)
# send them to zoo

(I helped save b3ta! Weetobix is a married man, Fri 29 Jun 2007, 13:55, archived)
# they have ways of getting them anyway

(I helped save b3ta! Prof UnderCover belligerence aroused by a real or supposed wrong, Fri 29 Jun 2007, 13:58, archived)
# nuts!

(I helped save b3ta! VampireMonkeyOnSled sensible shirt, tie, neatly combed hair etc, Fri 29 Jun 2007, 13:59, archived)
# *crosses*
i'm a rebel!
(I helped save b3ta! ivesb Assistant Clinical Physiologist extraordinary, Fri 29 Jun 2007, 13:51, archived)
# *ass rapes*
that'll show you

*slips number*
(I helped save b3ta! Duncoffin is life., Fri 29 Jun 2007, 13:53, archived)
# *pockets*
*winks*
(I helped save b3ta! ivesb Assistant Clinical Physiologist extraordinary, Fri 29 Jun 2007, 13:58, archived)
# ticks the police instead

(I helped save b3ta! Pope George-Ringo quick Alter Boy, to the Popemobile, Fri 29 Jun 2007, 14:00, archived)