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[challenge entry] not really bad, just truthful

From the Bad Books for Kids challenge. See all 457 entries (closed)

(I helped save b3ta! HappyToast Groat froth, Wed 18 Jul 2007, 20:58, archived)
# *flicks forward to bit about mum showing the milkman how the matress works*
(I helped save b3ta! drbroon abloooobloobloo, Wed 18 Jul 2007, 21:00, archived)
# Hah
Why do parents do that, anyway?
(I helped save b3ta! Shada, Wed 18 Jul 2007, 21:00, archived)
# because
YOU'D CRY

and it would distract them from their swinger orgy

:D
(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Wed 18 Jul 2007, 21:01, archived)
# My boy is seven and I've never told him a lie about anything he's ever asked me (so far)
That means he's never believed in a father christmas, easter bunny, tooth fairy since age 2/3.

I think the toughest so far has been 'where do babies come from' He knows I'll always tell him the truth now, no matter what.
(I helped save b3ta! M3Essential and The Essentials. LIVE!, Wed 18 Jul 2007, 21:05, archived)
# good man
hiding things, or "lying" just makes it harder to explain later.
Which, hypocritically is what parents tell their children about lying too!
(I helped save b3ta! HappyToast Groat froth, Wed 18 Jul 2007, 21:07, archived)
# I think you'll make a good dad
especially with the whole love of comic books and such. :)
(I helped save b3ta! M3Essential and The Essentials. LIVE!, Wed 18 Jul 2007, 21:17, archived)
# daddy,
this boy at school called me a 'felcher'. what does that mean?
(I helped save b3ta! plentyofants more ghee, vicar?, Wed 18 Jul 2007, 21:07, archived)
# It's a crude word son that he probably heard from someone else and is repeating it because it will make people laugh.
If he wants to be the class clown, then let him. We'll throw him a few coins when he's begging on a street corner.
(I helped save b3ta! M3Essential and The Essentials. LIVE!, Wed 18 Jul 2007, 21:12, archived)
# I asked my dad what "wank" meant when I was 7
he sent me to my room for the rest of the day.

Edit: An older boy also asked if I knew what a "prostitute" was. I proudly said that I did: "The opposite of a catholic"
(I helped save b3ta! drbroon abloooobloobloo, Wed 18 Jul 2007, 21:10, archived)
# ...to wank?
(I helped save b3ta! mugatu, Wed 18 Jul 2007, 21:12, archived)
# hahaha
(I helped save b3ta! drbroon abloooobloobloo, Wed 18 Jul 2007, 21:13, archived)
# wank is a crude word for masturbation.
and we've already discussed what masturbation is, right?
(I helped save b3ta! M3Essential and The Essentials. LIVE!, Wed 18 Jul 2007, 21:14, archived)
# it's the irish bloke who invented harbours isn't it?
and it's spelt masterbaysean
(I helped save b3ta! drbroon abloooobloobloo, Wed 18 Jul 2007, 21:15, archived)
# because it is the easy option.
and most adults just pretend that glue doesn't come from animals, milk isn't a result of the slaughter of a baby cow, and mummy's nice fur gloves weren't cut from the body of a still live and howling dog in the middle of china.

It's easy to go with the "ahhhh, look Billy, moo cow" line.
(I helped save b3ta! HappyToast Groat froth, Wed 18 Jul 2007, 21:06, archived)
# mummy's nice fur gloves
are more likely made from a crate of mink drowned in a river

to be honest :)
(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Wed 18 Jul 2007, 21:08, archived)
# or pinned down on a plank in eastern Europe
with electrodes jammed in their mouth and up their arse.

ahhh, fashion (turn to the left)
(I helped save b3ta! HappyToast Groat froth, Wed 18 Jul 2007, 21:09, archived)
# fashion (turn to the right)
(I helped save b3ta! M3Essential and The Essentials. LIVE!, Wed 18 Jul 2007, 21:12, archived)
# electrodes in two ends?
sounds unlikely

as in "too much effort"
(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Wed 18 Jul 2007, 21:20, archived)
# See, I never understood the pulling the wool over their eyes thing.
My kids are basically vegetarian by choice due to me telling them exactly how and where the food comes from. Yes, it's not easy, but in the long run it has to be beneficial.
(I helped save b3ta! M3Essential and The Essentials. LIVE!, Wed 18 Jul 2007, 21:09, archived)
# My glue mostly comes from crude oil
Glue made from horses is rubbish
(I helped save b3ta! foop, Wed 18 Jul 2007, 21:29, archived)
# I love horse glues!
best of all adhesives!
(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Wed 18 Jul 2007, 21:34, archived)