Virgin...


From the Alternative Xmas Cards challenge. See all 288 entries (closed)

(Beejster, Sat 8 Dec 2007, 1:46, archived)

pffftttt.....
double pffftttt.....
( Zank Frappa Dahmer Llama Karma Drama!, Sat 8 Dec 2007, 1:52, archived)

nah, she was a virgin
because she used her arse
aren't christians wonderful, eh? most other religions, you'd be looking at multiple death-beatings for that kind of thing
( plentyofants can't start a fire without a spork, Sat 8 Dec 2007, 1:53, archived)

her ass?

( Sir Pigeon Nipples is wondering if he has soiled himself., Sat 8 Dec 2007, 1:54, archived)

his ass?

(Nefarious Moose went back into lurk mode at, Sat 8 Dec 2007, 3:31, archived)

so what you are saying is that jesus is mr hanky
holy fuck - *calls gideons*
( Zank Frappa Dahmer Llama Karma Drama!, Sat 8 Dec 2007, 1:54, archived)

i'm just saying
she offered up her most delicate flower only to the blessed almighty
while keeping the other side for more.. earthly uses
( plentyofants can't start a fire without a spork, Sat 8 Dec 2007, 1:59, archived)

dammit!
i just started the 1st church of the holy nard!
ahhfuggit - i'll write it off as tax!
( Zank Frappa Dahmer Llama Karma Drama!, Sat 8 Dec 2007, 2:02, archived)

jobby jesus.

( Cockweasle http://b3nn3tt.mybrute.com, Sat 8 Dec 2007, 2:28, archived)

could become a new catchphrase
i like it
will get onto billy connolly in the morning
( plentyofants can't start a fire without a spork, Sat 8 Dec 2007, 2:31, archived)

I've been using it for ages.
we had a competition to make the most offensive song ever,
my mate made one called "wanking paki jesus" he won
( Cockweasle http://b3nn3tt.mybrute.com, Sat 8 Dec 2007, 2:35, archived)

excellent
that does win
i've been trying to promote the use of "jesus fucking fuckchrist" for swearing for a while now
but i think i will retire it in favour of yours
( plentyofants can't start a fire without a spork, Sat 8 Dec 2007, 2:39, archived)

Immaculate confession . . .
Birth control pill

( Valin That that is that . . . is that . . ., Sat 8 Dec 2007, 1:58, archived)

virgin
on the ridiculous, maybe.

g'night all, i'm off for egg on toats and bed tiem
( Smash Monkey i say we grease this ratfuck sonofabitch right now, Sat 8 Dec 2007, 2:04, archived)

Yummy . . .

( Valin That that is that . . . is that . . ., Sat 8 Dec 2007, 2:17, archived)

put vegemite on the toats first!
'n ight
( Sir Pigeon Nipples is wondering if he has soiled himself., Sat 8 Dec 2007, 2:20, archived)

ooh
i could really do with scrambled eggs on marmitey toast

to the kitchen!
( Iananan Formerly known as el-rodente, not that you care, Sat 8 Dec 2007, 10:09, archived)

goodnight.
I'm off for a shit.
( Cockweasle http://b3nn3tt.mybrute.com, Sat 8 Dec 2007, 2:29, archived)

I just made a Edam, Cream Cheese and Mustard sandwich.
It's odd.
( Ttssattsr lets do talk together, Sat 8 Dec 2007, 2:55, archived)

hahahaha
i was going to make a sandwich......

after reading about your's I think i'll give it a miss
( Cockweasle http://b3nn3tt.mybrute.com, Sat 8 Dec 2007, 3:05, archived)

Yeah it kinda weirded me out.
Good call.
( Ttssattsr lets do talk together, Sat 8 Dec 2007, 3:16, archived)

'virgin' is just a mistranslation from the aramaic.
properly translated, the text identifies mary as a 'horrid slattern with weeping cunt-sores and three loads up her at any given time'.

i think the church might have deliberately made an error.
( postbear is creepy and old and gross, Sat 8 Dec 2007, 7:08, archived)