I have been doing SCIENCE.
I recently bought some "Branstons Bloomin Big Beans".
On the side, it says "50% LARGER THAN REGULAR BEANS". And I didn't believe it. So, I have done a test.

I bought some Heinz beans, and did SCIENCE.




Want to know that percentage? 1.48% larger. NOT 50.
( cr3 history books forgot about us, Wed 19 Dec 2007, 23:22, archived)

Haha, crikey

( McBadger CHECK OUT MY SIG OH YEAH MNNNNNNN, Wed 19 Dec 2007, 23:24, archived)

Fight The Power!
\m/
(Paper 'n Pencil My sword sings of silver, Wed 19 Dec 2007, 23:24, archived)

YEAH!

( cr3 history books forgot about us, Wed 19 Dec 2007, 23:26, archived)

diameter aswell
get a micrometer on them :P
(JadeFalcon, Thu 20 Dec 2007, 0:35, archived)

The nobel prize for science is yours
That's for sure.
Well done!

( Flowerpot watches through the railings as they play, Wed 19 Dec 2007, 23:25, archived)

*rejoices*

( cr3 history books forgot about us, Wed 19 Dec 2007, 23:26, archived)

Maybe they just mean that the label is 50% bigger
?
( Quim LEAK is Zombie obsessed - http://trioxin.wordpress.com/, Wed 19 Dec 2007, 23:26, archived)

"Bigger than ordinary beans"

( cr3 history books forgot about us, Wed 19 Dec 2007, 23:27, archived)

is there a caveat such as
"if you move them 50% closer to your face"?
( Quim LEAK is Zombie obsessed - http://trioxin.wordpress.com/, Wed 19 Dec 2007, 23:30, archived)

No, there's no explanatory text, just a big fat false claim

( cr3 history books forgot about us, Wed 19 Dec 2007, 23:31, archived)

haha!
ripoff!
( Count Vanderhoff trying to learn tattyshop, Wed 19 Dec 2007, 23:26, archived)

Totally!

( cr3 history books forgot about us, Wed 19 Dec 2007, 23:28, archived)

a thorough investigation
you simply cannot argue with the facts
( amoebaboy is polishing the buddah, Wed 19 Dec 2007, 23:28, archived)

I might get in touch with Trading Standards

( cr3 history books forgot about us, Wed 19 Dec 2007, 23:29, archived)

"well, you can prove anything with facts..."
I know someone that actually used to use that line in arguements...
( Count Vanderhoff trying to learn tattyshop, Wed 19 Dec 2007, 23:31, archived)

DULL

(Pimms'N'Lemonade thinks you are a twat, prove me wrong., Wed 19 Dec 2007, 23:28, archived)

GAY

( cr3 history books forgot about us, Wed 19 Dec 2007, 23:29, archived)

ban the emo hippy cunt!! :D


the fool knows nothing about science!!
( prodigy69 that shit is bananas, Wed 19 Dec 2007, 23:33, archived)

Maybe they meant gas . . .
did you digest each individualy yet ?
( Valin Just before it never happened there was a thud . ., Wed 19 Dec 2007, 23:29, archived)

Yes, as a matter of fact I have
No change was observed
( cr3 history books forgot about us, Wed 19 Dec 2007, 23:31, archived)

Whew . . . that cleared the air on that one !

( Valin Just before it never happened there was a thud . ., Wed 19 Dec 2007, 23:31, archived)

... and what about mass?
/physics BSc. ;-)
(Happy Idiot Talk now has an alibi for, Wed 19 Dec 2007, 23:44, archived)

:) mass would be a better way to do it
if he has really tiny scales.
( my other username is a porsche , posting shit pictures so you don't have to, Wed 19 Dec 2007, 23:55, archived)

Send it to
the Cook Report
(spartacus_mills, Wed 19 Dec 2007, 23:29, archived)

Nice pedanting there.
;P
( Mstandot, Wed 19 Dec 2007, 23:30, archived)

Companies can't just go around making outrageous claims willy nilly
If it wasn't for B3tard scientists we would still wouldn't believe that it isn't butter, that 2/3 of a Mars bar makes you work and play but not rest and using Head and Shoulders makes you leap up and down on your bed wearing just your knickers.

These claims must be stopped. They are porkies.

( Flowerpot watches through the railings as they play, Wed 19 Dec 2007, 23:36, archived)

I'll email watchdog in the morning.
This needs to be fought.
( MrA, Wed 19 Dec 2007, 23:31, archived)

true science! :)

( prodigy69 that shit is bananas, Wed 19 Dec 2007, 23:32, archived)

The key words here are "up to"
In the same way that my Virgin Media broadband is "up to" 20mb but is actually more like 12mb, these beans are "up to" 50% bigger but are actually 5% bigger.
( NobbyNobody, Wed 19 Dec 2007, 23:33, archived)

Yes, correct - there is NOT ONE mention of "up to" on it. It claims DEAD ON 50%.
That's my objection.
( cr3 history books forgot about us, Wed 19 Dec 2007, 23:35, archived)

Yes.
Have you compared the beans to a can of standard Branston beans?
Perhaps Branston beans are 50% smaller than Heinz as standard.
( NobbyNobody, Wed 19 Dec 2007, 23:38, archived)

Oh lawks alordy you found a loophole :(
My science is ruined!
( cr3 history books forgot about us, Wed 19 Dec 2007, 23:39, archived)

So where does it go from here ?
Money back, law suit, report to ___ , get more ? BTW were they good and tastey ?
( Valin Just before it never happened there was a thud . ., Wed 19 Dec 2007, 23:40, archived)

They were great. I was so disappointed by their lies though

( cr3 history books forgot about us, Wed 19 Dec 2007, 23:41, archived)

I can understand why your enjoyment was marred by the lies
Companies really should be more responsible.

( Flowerpot watches through the railings as they play, Wed 19 Dec 2007, 23:49, archived)

Maybe it means
50% of the beans are larger than other beans....
( Jsysco is mostly a lurker, mostly, Wed 19 Dec 2007, 23:42, archived)

THE LYING CUNTS
 
they shoulda used lima beans.
( Rapitinui comes in a wrapper of cellophane, Wed 19 Dec 2007, 23:33, archived)

But
For the first few frames, the Branston beans look hugely bigger. Blatantly more-so than 0.02cm... I mean, look at them on the chopping board, the difference is enormous.
(Richwisheshewas1337, Wed 19 Dec 2007, 23:38, archived)

Nope, those are crushed ones. I only used intact beans.

( cr3 history books forgot about us, Wed 19 Dec 2007, 23:38, archived)

In the words of Dr. Magnus Pyke
SCIENCE!
( TGP on the rock 'n' roll, Wed 19 Dec 2007, 23:40, archived)

What they didn't say
is what they consider to be "regular" beans. I'm guessing they don't mean Heinz.
Haricot beans come in many sizes.
HA HA SPOILING IT
( mofaha, Wed 19 Dec 2007, 23:41, archived)

I have just emailed Watchdog
WE'LL SEE ABOUT THIS
( cr3 history books forgot about us, Wed 19 Dec 2007, 23:43, archived)

Write to Brandstons . . . I bet they send you a free case to keep you quiet !

( Valin Just before it never happened there was a thud . ., Wed 19 Dec 2007, 23:48, archived)

They have an 0800 number which I shall be using tomorrow

( cr3 history books forgot about us, Wed 19 Dec 2007, 23:49, archived)

Nicky Campbell will LOVE IT
because he can GET EMOTIONAL about how this is DESTROYING LIVES, possibly by ENDING THEM WITH SHODDY CUSTOMER SERVICE.
( Kamikaze Stoat has Spotify invites, Wed 19 Dec 2007, 23:52, archived)

True
Heinz filter out the bigger ones.
Those Branston ones just look like they've been boiled for a bit longer to take on more water too. Lots of cracked seeds.
( meathelmet, Wed 19 Dec 2007, 23:53, archived)

I think you will find
it says 50% bigger, contrary to your analysis.
(Ronuk lo der, Wed 19 Dec 2007, 23:51, archived)

Bigger/larger. Same difference in my mind.

( cr3 history books forgot about us, Wed 19 Dec 2007, 23:53, archived)

This true
length isn't volume, but you're probably still onto something. Sue the bastards.
( my other username is a porsche , posting shit pictures so you don't have to, Wed 19 Dec 2007, 23:54, archived)

I need standard deviations and error bars here
/geek
( my other username is a porsche , posting shit pictures so you don't have to, Wed 19 Dec 2007, 23:52, archived)

where are the proper controls?
/pedant
( Jsysco is mostly a lurker, mostly, Wed 19 Dec 2007, 23:53, archived)

The test does not appear to have been blind.

( my other username is a porsche , posting shit pictures so you don't have to, Wed 19 Dec 2007, 23:54, archived)

Thanks.
You have taken away my will to live.

/unspeakably dissolutioned
( HairyTwatter Needs more tostones by, Wed 19 Dec 2007, 23:59, archived)

sometimes the truth hurts.

( my other username is a porsche , posting shit pictures so you don't have to, Wed 19 Dec 2007, 23:59, archived)

And your ability to spell too ;)
(disillusioned).
/pedant

( Flowerpot watches through the railings as they play, Thu 20 Dec 2007, 0:01, archived)

Interesting and informative!
How very un-B3ta! :o
( WiL is addicted to BestOfferBuy dot com, Thu 20 Dec 2007, 0:25, archived)

If this doesn't make the newsletter
I'll stuff a live chicken up my arse. One with Bird Flu.
( Pew Pew Pew! Lasers! wannabe Gong Farmer, Thu 20 Dec 2007, 1:19, archived)

what about measuring volume or mass?
the label doesn't say 50% longer does it...
( rob You should follow me http://twitter.com/robmanuel, Thu 20 Dec 2007, 8:28, archived)

You've probably eaten them now
But if not, assuming they don't float, you could measure the volume of the beans by how much water they displace.
( Stilton Cheesewright, Thu 20 Dec 2007, 8:38, archived)

if you look at volume instead and approximate each bean to be a sphere
then the volume is 4ğr². So for heinz that's 5.9cm² and for the other it's 6.1cm², i.e. just over 3% bigger volume-wise, so still well short.
( corington, Thu 20 Dec 2007, 9:50, archived)

^This!
(More or less.)

I went for (1.39^3)/(1.37^3) = 1.044

I.e. the beans are probably around 4.4% bigger than Heinz.

E'en so, it's a far sight short of 50%.
( teedyay, Fri 21 Dec 2007, 0:25, archived)

pedantic bastard
;o)
( parttimedogfish is a Born-Again Reincarnationist, Fri 21 Dec 2007, 0:00, archived)