Collection of huge mobile phones and accessories
Come and enjoy your New Year Eve; by touching my huge mobile phone and accessories. The tactile pleasure of my ludicrously enlarged mobile phone has to be seen to be believed. My correspondent Mr. E. Arsefeather (pronounced Fanshaw) of Clapton writes: "Sir, before I first came into contact with your mobile phone I was repulsive and vain, overly proud of my health, able to leap about like a merryandrew, my head covered tastelessly in lush hair which I constantly preened. Thanks to your product I have aged prematurely, my hair has thinned substantially and I have regained my dignity. God bless you gentlemen, I wish you every success."
(_Felix suspicious character from prehistoric caucasus, Wed 26 Dec 2007, 12:33, archived)

_Felix, I would like to buy your phone.

( gronkpan 2 Legit 2 Twit, Wed 26 Dec 2007, 12:36, archived)

Persons disposed to purchase are invited
to I call and give our stock an examination, which is a remedy for J'llen, upon which it also appears exert a distinct and specific action, by dis-persing the local tendency which forms thoin.

(_Felix suspicious character from prehistoric caucasus, Wed 26 Dec 2007, 12:39, archived)

Make me an offer on just the phone.

( gronkpan 2 Legit 2 Twit, Wed 26 Dec 2007, 12:41, archived)

Make me an offer on some thoin also.

( gronkpan 2 Legit 2 Twit, Wed 26 Dec 2007, 12:50, archived)

THOIN CAUSES TRAUMA
In having become no extensive, we have been compelled to open a Factory at 21 WINTER J..LOWKRS'. 1 KKKT. NKW ORK. whore we innnufarture all our Flowers. We arc thus enabled to oflcr them at houM) In Farts. CASCAHK CA.-CADE CASCADE CASCADE CASCADE CASCADE CASCADE 26c. CASOADB CASCADE CASCADE CVSCADE CASCADE CASCADE CASCADE 25c. HAT T 25c. CASCADE CASCADE CASCADE CASCADE CASCADE CASCADE _ CASCADE 25C. CASCADE CASCADE!

HATS. HATS. HATS. HITS. O (urtc.nj. .No (Jraln nil Silk Ribbon. lOc per yd. 3W 12 Grain all bilk lunwjn.

A superb assortment ol' Ladles and from usual rates.
(_Felix suspicious character from prehistoric caucasus, Wed 26 Dec 2007, 12:53, archived)

I grew up very close to the Cascade Brewery.

This would have made for a good jingle.
( gronkpan 2 Legit 2 Twit, Wed 26 Dec 2007, 12:59, archived)

HANG ON, HANG ON, DON'T GO WASTING MONEY...

The pizzas aren't going to meth themselves, you know.
( Tahkcalb ω∞ for sigs, Wed 26 Dec 2007, 12:40, archived)

We've had a market backlash on the methpizza
apparently it gives you really bad zits around your mouth.

We need a new angle.
( gronkpan 2 Legit 2 Twit, Wed 26 Dec 2007, 12:44, archived)

Dead babies are popular.
Cheap to get too! Tasty on crackers etc.

*awaits market research*
( Tahkcalb ω∞ for sigs, Wed 26 Dec 2007, 12:48, archived)