West Virginia...

( Collatallie Sisters is enjoying newtquest.co.uk, Fri 28 Dec 2007, 12:37, archived)

thank fuck
I was getting tired of my own thread :)


and woo
( Neon Blue is death to cars, Fri 28 Dec 2007, 12:38, archived)

Quick, somebody post a picture of a Mountain Mama!
;)
( mediocre Cows and bisexuals are gonna kill me, Fri 28 Dec 2007, 12:40, archived)

( DogHorse is wanking into your hat, Fri 28 Dec 2007, 12:45, archived)

Gawd bless her.
Apparently the ham sandwich story is apocryphal.
( Captain Wow Don't fuck with me now, man, I am Ahab, Fri 28 Dec 2007, 12:49, archived)

Yes,
but far more entertaining than any of the other versions offered.
( DogHorse is wanking into your hat, Fri 28 Dec 2007, 12:51, archived)

I heard quite a nice one once
That she was running around and caught her muumuu on a hook and snapped her own neck.

Certainly sounds less painful than any of the others, and I love Mama. Or at least I do posthumously.
( Captain Wow Don't fuck with me now, man, I am Ahab, Fri 28 Dec 2007, 12:53, archived)

Apparently she was
running after a ham sandwich.
( DogHorse is wanking into your hat, Fri 28 Dec 2007, 13:00, archived)

Is there a fat joke that's funny any more?
Or have they all been done to death?
( Captain Wow Don't fuck with me now, man, I am Ahab, Fri 28 Dec 2007, 13:01, archived)

Pretty much,
I concur. But then where is the "fat joke" in my comment? It may not be funny, but it references a well-known (if apocryphal) sandwich. Thin people eat sandwiches, too.

Still amazes me where the blurred boundaries of taste drift around on a site like this. I don't particularly find fat jokes funny, and the Q&D pic above was done ages ago with no reference to size, rather just to a rock 'n' roll myth, and - believe it or not - was posted today in response to the word "mama", rather than "mountain".
( DogHorse is wanking into your hat, Fri 28 Dec 2007, 13:08, archived)

Actually I was just asking a question.
touchy.....

Only because I was discussing jokes with my mum yesterday, and what's still considered funny and what isn't.
( Captain Wow Don't fuck with me now, man, I am Ahab, Fri 28 Dec 2007, 13:09, archived)

Touchy?
Touché.

Edit: and I'm discussing them with you. And, I admit, making assumptions about your assumptions. Irony rocks.
( DogHorse is wanking into your hat, Fri 28 Dec 2007, 13:10, archived)

bauxite?

( mictoboy got uke? http://ukulele.mictoboy.co.uk, Fri 28 Dec 2007, 13:16, archived)

Cunning use of one word to make me snort.

( Captain Wow Don't fuck with me now, man, I am Ahab, Fri 28 Dec 2007, 13:17, archived)

:D
and with regard to the other respondees:
meh, you still got it
( mictoboy got uke? http://ukulele.mictoboy.co.uk, Fri 28 Dec 2007, 13:27, archived)

But, but, but...
but I used a SMILEY, thereby exonerating me from any suspicion of lacking the necessary humour to apprecia....

...
/bores self to sleep
( DogHorse is wanking into your hat, Fri 28 Dec 2007, 13:35, archived)

They would be
aluminiumy rocks :)
( DogHorse is wanking into your hat, Fri 28 Dec 2007, 13:17, archived)

bauxite isn't ferrous you big silly!
scients
( sock what do say?, Fri 28 Dec 2007, 13:18, archived)

What's an irony rock then?
All I remember of doing rocks and things like that in geography was that my teacher changed her name halfway through the year and with it, her hairstyle.

Oh, that and igneous rocks. But I couldn't tell you what igneous means, or any igneous rock names. Just that there are some and they are igneous.
( Captain Wow Don't fuck with me now, man, I am Ahab, Fri 28 Dec 2007, 13:20, archived)

ah irony rock
that's like avril lavigne
( sock what do say?, Fri 28 Dec 2007, 13:24, archived)

Apart from her
having as much to do with rock as I have to do with particle physics.
( Captain Wow Don't fuck with me now, man, I am Ahab, Fri 28 Dec 2007, 13:27, archived)

oooo alanis morisette

( sock what do say?, Fri 28 Dec 2007, 13:35, archived)

Haematite,
magnetite and limonite, and a couple more, I think.

Ooh, that reminds me - I know a joke!

Q. What do you do with a dead metallurgist?
A. Barium.

Christ.
( DogHorse is wanking into your hat, Fri 28 Dec 2007, 13:27, archived)

Typical
the one joke you know and I don't get it.

OH I DO

Heh, that's quite clever.
( Captain Wow Don't fuck with me now, man, I am Ahab, Fri 28 Dec 2007, 13:36, archived)

No, you were getting pissy because you thought I was making a half arsed attempt at having a go at you.
Which isn't my style at all. If I'm going to start on someone I generally get all my bitchiness out in one long diatrible about what a pathetic person they are, not just staying on the topic that had already been raised but moving off into several different tangents- always coming back to the main point, that point usually being something to do with torture, a lack of brain cells and a female parent that may or may not have been sexually involved with their dead father, the product of which being whatever poor person I'm having a go at.

I was honestly just asking if you knew of any.
( Captain Wow Don't fuck with me now, man, I am Ahab, Fri 28 Dec 2007, 13:17, archived)

No.
No I don't.

Also: diatrible. Is that a fulmination against small, furry aliens as featured in Star Trek?

No, I also don't know any funny typo jokes.
( DogHorse is wanking into your hat, Fri 28 Dec 2007, 13:18, archived)

Do you know any jokes?

( Captain Wow Don't fuck with me now, man, I am Ahab, Fri 28 Dec 2007, 13:20, archived)

None whatsoever.

( DogHorse is wanking into your hat, Fri 28 Dec 2007, 13:25, archived)

argh toaw!
(text on a website)
( sock what do say?, Fri 28 Dec 2007, 13:10, archived)

!

( mediocre Cows and bisexuals are gonna kill me, Fri 28 Dec 2007, 12:51, archived)

Aw.
She might not have been the most attractive young thing on the planet, but man, could she SING!
( Heffrey wants to show you his wood at smilemoon.etsy.com, Fri 28 Dec 2007, 12:52, archived)

I think she was attractive.
But then I quite like a naughty looking chubby girl.

Dawn French for example.

chicktales.files.wordpress.com/2006/06/dawn_french.jpg
( Captain Wow Don't fuck with me now, man, I am Ahab, Fri 28 Dec 2007, 12:54, archived)

Nothing wrong with a little extra chub.

( Heffrey wants to show you his wood at smilemoon.etsy.com, Fri 28 Dec 2007, 12:56, archived)

*pats self happily*

( Captain Wow Don't fuck with me now, man, I am Ahab, Fri 28 Dec 2007, 13:00, archived)

Aye

( DogHorse is wanking into your hat, Fri 28 Dec 2007, 12:56, archived)

( sock what do say?, Fri 28 Dec 2007, 12:52, archived)

Ouch,
did she just shit that out?
( ClanSoul HENRY THE HOOVERFISH™!, Fri 28 Dec 2007, 12:53, archived)

...the water cooler?

( Captain Wow Don't fuck with me now, man, I am Ahab, Fri 28 Dec 2007, 12:54, archived)

Yes.

( ClanSoul HENRY THE HOOVERFISH™!, Fri 28 Dec 2007, 12:56, archived)

i thought you meant the little man

( sock what do say?, Fri 28 Dec 2007, 13:03, archived)

Do YOU turn around and look at your poo?
HMM?
( ClanSoul HENRY THE HOOVERFISH™!, Fri 28 Dec 2007, 13:06, archived)

yep
i did one last night that was very dark grey / brown
( sock what do say?, Fri 28 Dec 2007, 13:08, archived)

Yes. Always.
And I get really upset if it's hiding under the paper.
( Captain Wow Don't fuck with me now, man, I am Ahab, Fri 28 Dec 2007, 13:08, archived)

remain in the squat position but shuffle sideways pre-wipe
that why you'll see your bundle of joy in all it's splendour
( sock what do say?, Fri 28 Dec 2007, 13:11, archived)

Dangerous.
There's always the possibility of clingage.

What you need to do is make sure all paper used is still being held in your hand, albeit between two fingers by a clean bit.
( Captain Wow Don't fuck with me now, man, I am Ahab, Fri 28 Dec 2007, 13:13, archived)

Unless you've put some paper in there pre-poo
to prevent Neptune's kiss.
( ClanSoul HENRY THE HOOVERFISH™!, Fri 28 Dec 2007, 13:13, archived)

hahaha "neptune's kiss"!

( sock what do say?, Fri 28 Dec 2007, 13:15, archived)

Yep.
*thumbs up*
( ClanSoul HENRY THE HOOVERFISH™!, Fri 28 Dec 2007, 13:16, archived)

Who doesn't?
My overall point is SHIT DOES NOT SMILE BACK
( ClanSoul HENRY THE HOOVERFISH™!, Fri 28 Dec 2007, 13:12, archived)

YOURS doesn't.

( Captain Wow Don't fuck with me now, man, I am Ahab, Fri 28 Dec 2007, 13:13, archived)

^I'm worried about this one
( ClanSoul HENRY THE HOOVERFISH™!, Fri 28 Dec 2007, 13:14, archived)

when you make a star chart from the poo and try to divine the future from it you will understand.
( Jamnog entomological paradigm induced fwappery., Fri 28 Dec 2007, 13:50, archived)

hahaha
mine makes my eyes water
( sock what do say?, Fri 28 Dec 2007, 13:16, archived)

Mine does too

( ClanSoul HENRY THE HOOVERFISH™!, Fri 28 Dec 2007, 13:17, archived)

i had a pile once
on the anusol box said it comes with it said it comes with an applicator if it's "internal", i couldn't find the applicator, just a full sized scale model of cleopatra's needle
( sock what do say?, Fri 28 Dec 2007, 13:27, archived)

You fucking loved it

( ClanSoul HENRY THE HOOVERFISH™!, Fri 28 Dec 2007, 13:29, archived)

With those thighs...
She could pop his head like a zit!
( Heffrey wants to show you his wood at smilemoon.etsy.com, Fri 28 Dec 2007, 12:53, archived)

Undo your collar dude, you've gone all red.

( Captain Wow Don't fuck with me now, man, I am Ahab, Fri 28 Dec 2007, 12:54, archived)

haha!!

( ivesb ohh.......angry!, Fri 28 Dec 2007, 13:02, archived)

haha
hey i just noticed she's wearing high heels, how odd
( sock what do say?, Fri 28 Dec 2007, 12:55, archived)

That's more because it pushes the rump up and out.
It's all the rage, y'know.
( Heffrey wants to show you his wood at smilemoon.etsy.com, Fri 28 Dec 2007, 12:56, archived)

the rage!

( sock what do say?, Fri 28 Dec 2007, 13:02, archived)

...I'll get you next time, Gadget

( Captain Wow Don't fuck with me now, man, I am Ahab, Fri 28 Dec 2007, 13:11, archived)

hahaha!!
oh dear!
( ivesb ohh.......angry!, Fri 28 Dec 2007, 12:40, archived)

Arf

( DogHorse is wanking into your hat, Fri 28 Dec 2007, 12:49, archived)