I was just thinking of this
as one of those victorian-style patents

"Dr Goatse's Patented Amazing Anus-Stretching Device"
( Mushroom, Sun 24 Feb 2008, 20:12, archived)

I think the best solution would be something fairly thin that could be inserted then inflated/expanded,
rather than a traditional tapered design. For producing a result with a fairly consistent diameter, rather than a cone shape.
( my other username is a porsche , posting shit pictures so you don't have to, Sun 24 Feb 2008, 20:16, archived)

£10 says such a thing already exists

I'm betting away an uncharacteristic amount of money in this thread...
( Mushroom, Sun 24 Feb 2008, 20:19, archived)

Those Yorkshireman digs earlier must have really affected you.

( my other username is a porsche , posting shit pictures so you don't have to, Sun 24 Feb 2008, 20:20, archived)

Yeah...

( Mushroom, Sun 24 Feb 2008, 20:24, archived)

i wish that the phrase 'racheted spindle' had not popped into my mind at this point

( mutster101 fait des gestes compliquees avec ses mains, Sun 24 Feb 2008, 20:21, archived)

I misread that as 'racheted sphincter'
I think I really need to get away from the computer for a bit... ;)
( Mushroom, Sun 24 Feb 2008, 20:22, archived)

Oh dear.
Well thanks for sharing.
( my other username is a porsche , posting shit pictures so you don't have to, Sun 24 Feb 2008, 20:22, archived)