I was gonna go with "Not on your life" and "Never in a million years"

( mutster101 went to Thomas Land!, Fri 28 Mar 2008, 15:18, archived)

ooh, good ones
You can get a free "not on your nelly!" with every "not on your life" all this week.
( Mockingbird enquires regarding the frequency, Kenneth, Fri 28 Mar 2008, 15:22, archived)