from the ancient book of racially insensitive japes...


now to beat myself to death for this awful sin

From the Photoshop the US Election challenge. See all 486 entries (closed)

( rmoola was thinking about a software problem, Fri 31 Oct 2008, 19:47, archived)

RIS?
_{gawd i havn't said that in ages!}
( lord Aerixis of Huffbuffington, stuffed a kitten up his arse, Fri 31 Oct 2008, 19:48, archived)

Hahahahahah!
Just had our first "trick or treat"ers.
Dad set the jack russell on them saying she's a killer.
( ClanSoul http://www.clansoul.com/community/, Fri 31 Oct 2008, 19:49, archived)

i've gone for the lights off and pretend we're not in approach

( hYpe is haunted by humans, Fri 31 Oct 2008, 19:51, archived)

snap

(vocos locos you bet cash, you lose cash, you pay cash, Fri 31 Oct 2008, 19:52, archived)

ditto

( SkUG HAS BOUGHT A HOUSE - WOO YEAH!, Fri 31 Oct 2008, 19:53, archived)

Touche
(I never know when to use this word in the right context)
(vocos locos you bet cash, you lose cash, you pay cash, Fri 31 Oct 2008, 19:54, archived)

well technically you'd use it if you were fencing someone and they poked you
(i think)
( hYpe is haunted by humans, Fri 31 Oct 2008, 19:56, archived)

get your hand out of oh... i read that wrong

( SkUG HAS BOUGHT A HOUSE - WOO YEAH!, Fri 31 Oct 2008, 19:58, archived)

not in this context
:P
(Barry Shitpeas Who were Ian Paisley's favourite Krautrock band?, Fri 31 Oct 2008, 20:03, archived)

This is what I have done.
I just made my way downstairs in the dark to get a beer, and stubbed my toe.
( The Hedgehog From Hell 's days are numbered, Fri 31 Oct 2008, 19:52, archived)

your ninja skills are lacking
eat more night vision goggles

( SkUG HAS BOUGHT A HOUSE - WOO YEAH!, Fri 31 Oct 2008, 19:53, archived)

and learn your way around your neighbour's downstairs
since you're clearly not in your own home
(cs192 how appropriate, your mother fights like a cow, Fri 31 Oct 2008, 20:20, archived)

We're watching telly in the front room, that won't work :[

( ClanSoul http://www.clansoul.com/community/, Fri 31 Oct 2008, 19:52, archived)

buy some curtains you cheap skate

( SkUG HAS BOUGHT A HOUSE - WOO YEAH!, Fri 31 Oct 2008, 19:53, archived)

We have curtains,
the light shines out of the edges.
( ClanSoul http://www.clansoul.com/community/, Fri 31 Oct 2008, 19:57, archived)

fit smaller windows then!

( hYpe is haunted by humans, Fri 31 Oct 2008, 19:58, archived)

sod it

(vocos locos you bet cash, you lose cash, you pay cash, Fri 31 Oct 2008, 19:58, archived)

buy some bigger curtains you cheap skate

(vocos locos you bet cash, you lose cash, you pay cash, Fri 31 Oct 2008, 19:58, archived)

you have shit curtains
/aicmfp

( SkUG HAS BOUGHT A HOUSE - WOO YEAH!, Fri 31 Oct 2008, 19:58, archived)

Well technically they're my dad's,
I don't live here.
( ClanSoul http://www.clansoul.com/community/, Fri 31 Oct 2008, 20:03, archived)

get out of my house!

( SkUG HAS BOUGHT A HOUSE - WOO YEAH!, Fri 31 Oct 2008, 20:05, archived)

shit beef
( The Hedgehog From Hell 's days are numbered, Fri 31 Oct 2008, 20:05, archived)

oh if only i could...
oh wait hold on...
beef curtains and a dirty shag


( SkUG HAS BOUGHT A HOUSE - WOO YEAH!, Fri 31 Oct 2008, 20:05, archived)

turn the contrast and brightness down so low it barely casts a light
, that'll show the fuckers. it'll also make your tv viewing a bit shit though.
( hYpe is haunted by humans, Fri 31 Oct 2008, 19:55, archived)

i've set the tortoise on them

(cs192 how appropriate, your mother fights like a cow, Fri 31 Oct 2008, 19:53, archived)

Oh shit, that's nasty.

( ClanSoul http://www.clansoul.com/community/, Fri 31 Oct 2008, 19:54, archived)

It is when you live on the third floor.

(Jeru War and Piss, Fri 31 Oct 2008, 19:55, archived)

Is a teenage mutant ninja one?

(vocos locos you bet cash, you lose cash, you pay cash, Fri 31 Oct 2008, 20:00, archived)

nah
a Roman one, spears and everything
(cs192 how appropriate, your mother fights like a cow, Fri 31 Oct 2008, 20:07, archived)

lol
Me dad once kept a jehova's witness at the door for an hour; our dog run out and jumped up on the witness while wagging his tail.
"Oh, errr, what's the dog's name?" asks the witness.
"SATAN."
He genuinely said "Errr, down Satan..."
( Jeccius is also me Xbox 360 Gamertag, Fri 31 Oct 2008, 19:56, archived)

HAHAHAHAH

( ClanSoul http://www.clansoul.com/community/, Fri 31 Oct 2008, 19:57, archived)

best one was
my mate said he was a devil worshipper and asked them into watch him sacrifice a chicken to satan.... they declined (ok so he was eating chicken burgers - but you know!)... but they never came back

( SkUG HAS BOUGHT A HOUSE - WOO YEAH!, Fri 31 Oct 2008, 20:00, archived)

haha
they always come round when i've just got out of bed, and run like buggery once they've shoved watchtower at me


tried using my nephew against an animal charity collector the other week but the little bastard behaved impeccably
(cs192 how appropriate, your mother fights like a cow, Fri 31 Oct 2008, 20:07, archived)

same here
Id got the dog all wound up...baseball bat ready

it was a sweet little 3 yr old girl. i gave in but dont have sweets so she got some brie and a satsuma
( Boff Redundant - just in time for xmas, Fri 31 Oct 2008, 20:00, archived)

god I bet she was cheesed off!
ha ha
(vocos locos you bet cash, you lose cash, you pay cash, Fri 31 Oct 2008, 20:03, archived)

her mum was a bit surprised
i suppose she doesnt have any red wine at home

my mrs says its odd givign brie but id like to be given some.
( Boff Redundant - just in time for xmas, Fri 31 Oct 2008, 20:04, archived)

why yes
it would be a brie-lliant gift

ha ha
(vocos locos you bet cash, you lose cash, you pay cash, Fri 31 Oct 2008, 20:08, archived)

"Sildenafilum"?!?
I'm guessing that box of tablets is not entirely genuine.

edit: haha, just spotted the brand name.
( The Hedgehog From Hell 's days are numbered, Fri 31 Oct 2008, 19:49, archived)

should be Mycoxaflopin
right? ;)
( Mushroom, Fri 31 Oct 2008, 19:52, archived)

Ah, there were so many Viagra jokes when it first appeared.
The fact that I can't remember any of them eleven years later suggests that they weren't any good in the first place.
( The Hedgehog From Hell 's days are numbered, Fri 31 Oct 2008, 19:54, archived)

Did you hear about the bloke who got a viagra stuck
in his throat?

He had a stiff neck for days!
( Redsushi! Whoop! Whoop! Ph.D., Fri 31 Oct 2008, 19:55, archived)

There was a shipment of Viagra stolen at gunpoint when it arrived at the docks.
Police are looking for a gang of hardened criminals.
( The Hedgehog From Hell 's days are numbered, Fri 31 Oct 2008, 19:57, archived)

viagra eye drops?
they make you look hard

( SkUG HAS BOUGHT A HOUSE - WOO YEAH!, Fri 31 Oct 2008, 20:01, archived)

oh come on that joke was awful...

( SkUG HAS BOUGHT A HOUSE - WOO YEAH!, Fri 31 Oct 2008, 20:13, archived)

By that logic if someone mistook one for a suppository their colon would lance out and burst through their trousers?

(Jeru War and Piss, Fri 31 Oct 2008, 19:59, archived)

ahahahaha
I like the way your mind works ;)
( Mushroom, Fri 31 Oct 2008, 20:04, archived)

ouch

*retreats to lick wounds*
( Mushroom, Fri 31 Oct 2008, 19:56, archived)

Oops!
What I meant was the "mycoxaflopin" one was funny, the rest of them were shit. Seriously.
( The Hedgehog From Hell 's days are numbered, Fri 31 Oct 2008, 19:57, archived)

hahahaha
was just kidding anyway ;)
( Mushroom, Fri 31 Oct 2008, 19:58, archived)

Just as well, because your joke's fucking rank.

( The Hedgehog From Hell 's days are numbered, Fri 31 Oct 2008, 20:04, archived)

:D

( Mushroom, Fri 31 Oct 2008, 20:05, archived)

Ha ha ha!
Havent heard that in years :D
( Redsushi! Whoop! Whoop! Ph.D., Fri 31 Oct 2008, 19:54, archived)

Pfft!

( Redsushi! Whoop! Whoop! Ph.D., Fri 31 Oct 2008, 19:53, archived)