From the Macho Products challenge. See all 345 entries (closed)

( SqueakyG, Thu 6 Nov 2008, 0:47, archived)

*waits to see who buys gargantuan size*
*follows home with viagra and rohypnol*
( Smash Monkey i say we grease this ratfuck sonofabitch right now, Thu 6 Nov 2008, 0:50, archived)

*Buys two packs of gargantuan*
*Makes a wet-suit out of them*
( Spider Riviera Crankenstein: The beast is unleashed!, Thu 6 Nov 2008, 0:51, archived)

wee mad arthur?

(cs192 how appropriate, your mother fights like a cow, Thu 6 Nov 2008, 0:52, archived)

that's MISTER wee mad arthur to yez, copper!

( Smash Monkey i say we grease this ratfuck sonofabitch right now, Thu 6 Nov 2008, 0:54, archived)

ay ay ay
don't be calling me no copper.


discworld would be a very different place if there were more scousers on it.

now, do i go to bed or watch ep 2 of dead set with another beer?
(cs192 how appropriate, your mother fights like a cow, Thu 6 Nov 2008, 0:57, archived)

BEER AND ZOMBIES
there is no other logical choice.
( Smash Monkey i say we grease this ratfuck sonofabitch right now, Thu 6 Nov 2008, 1:02, archived)

what's logic got to do with this?
best go downstairs and get another one then
(cs192 how appropriate, your mother fights like a cow, Thu 6 Nov 2008, 1:04, archived)

nothing
i just want to leave no possible argument against the beer and zombies choice.
( Smash Monkey i say we grease this ratfuck sonofabitch right now, Thu 6 Nov 2008, 1:06, archived)

liar
you know you want me to ride you like seabiscuit
( Smash Monkey i say we grease this ratfuck sonofabitch right now, Thu 6 Nov 2008, 0:55, archived)

*Says nothing*

( Spider Riviera Crankenstein: The beast is unleashed!, Thu 6 Nov 2008, 0:57, archived)

that's right, you talk when i tell you to, bitch!
now, get on your back and stand to attention!
( Smash Monkey i say we grease this ratfuck sonofabitch right now, Thu 6 Nov 2008, 1:05, archived)

I would wear them on my arms and flail about like a confused jellyfish.
It would be an awesome evening.
( MrPineapple .co.uk - TSHIRTS COMING SOON?, Thu 6 Nov 2008, 0:52, archived)

AWESOME.
( MrPineapple .co.uk - TSHIRTS COMING SOON?, Thu 6 Nov 2008, 0:53, archived)

not as awesome as the one i have in mind
*may be slightly horny*
( Smash Monkey i say we grease this ratfuck sonofabitch right now, Thu 6 Nov 2008, 0:55, archived)

you've been horny for the last week
is there a new victim prospective mr Smash on the scene?
(cs192 how appropriate, your mother fights like a cow, Thu 6 Nov 2008, 1:01, archived)

not yet
but i'm going to a party next week, the barman there is an old conquest. he looks like timothy claypole, but he goes like a rabbit :)
( Smash Monkey i say we grease this ratfuck sonofabitch right now, Thu 6 Nov 2008, 1:03, archived)

*googles Timothy Claypole*
*checks i've not accidentally met Smash and spurned her*

nope, not me. I'll go about my business (juggling two girls is too much for me anyway)
(cs192 how appropriate, your mother fights like a cow, Thu 6 Nov 2008, 1:06, archived)

it's not too much for him
fortunately ;)
( Smash Monkey i say we grease this ratfuck sonofabitch right now, Thu 6 Nov 2008, 1:11, archived)

He hops away quickly?

( monkdagola is going to rapekiss you, Thu 6 Nov 2008, 1:06, archived)

he takes two AA batteries

(cs192 how appropriate, your mother fights like a cow, Thu 6 Nov 2008, 1:10, archived)

AA? two CC batteries, you mean!
the staff at poundland have stopped believing that i have a huge collection of torches
( Smash Monkey i say we grease this ratfuck sonofabitch right now, Thu 6 Nov 2008, 1:12, archived)

i dunno
i'm still trying to decide whether to get the girl i'm gonna see next week some new batteries or not. slightly worried how much of her monthly cash she's spending on the little bunny at the mo
(cs192 how appropriate, your mother fights like a cow, Thu 6 Nov 2008, 1:18, archived)

my ex used to go mental if i mentioned it
he just didn't seem to realise that, while sex with your fella is great, doing it yourself can be better as you know your own body best.
besides, he had a tiny cock.
( Smash Monkey i say we grease this ratfuck sonofabitch right now, Thu 6 Nov 2008, 1:24, archived)

haha
well i also have a tiny cock, but more importantly live over 100 miles from this girl, and may not see her again after next week. would like to leave her with some good memories, even if they're all in her head
(cs192 how appropriate, your mother fights like a cow, Thu 6 Nov 2008, 1:47, archived)

candles, flowers, chocolates, wine and massage oils.
even if you both get so drunk that the sex is shit, she'll remember it as a very romantic night.
( Smash Monkey i say we grease this ratfuck sonofabitch right now, Thu 6 Nov 2008, 1:55, archived)

i don't think
i'm gonna be allowed to drink.

and she's a fucking veggie to boot,

shall remember the chocs though
(cs192 how appropriate, your mother fights like a cow, Thu 6 Nov 2008, 2:02, archived)

no
he likes it more than i do, which i didn't think was possible.
( Smash Monkey i say we grease this ratfuck sonofabitch right now, Thu 6 Nov 2008, 1:14, archived)

Either way that's the root of the cause!

( monkdagola is going to rapekiss you, Thu 6 Nov 2008, 1:04, archived)

the gargantuan ones, are they gargantua-flavoured?

( postbear is creepy and old and gross, Thu 6 Nov 2008, 0:56, archived)

Snigger
www.b3ta.com/board/8908695
( WiL 's cat has decided he is an indoors cat now..., Thu 6 Nov 2008, 1:28, archived)