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# Well if you go down that route
You end up with nihilism.

As for the rainforest brigade - don't you have a book out?
(, Thu 19 Nov 2009, 10:40, archived)
(, Thu 19 Nov 2009, 10:44, archived)
# Paedophile immigrants are raping the queen's forests.
(, Thu 19 Nov 2009, 10:47, archived)
# Reason statistically proven to be less fun than PANIC
(, Thu 19 Nov 2009, 10:49, archived)
# Hahahaha - I was advising this over the summer about swine flu
"The best way to deal with this is to ... run around in tight circles waving your hands in the air and screaming at the top of your voice."
(, Thu 19 Nov 2009, 10:50, archived)
# haha indeed.
I've been telling anyone who will listen to me similar things. Most of the people at my work seem to be under the impression that swine flu is some sort of bubonicAIDSsyphillisCERTAINDEATH hybrid, while if one reads any swine flu advice from medics, then they clearly state that the only thing that makes it different from normal flu is its novelty...

But, we are all going to die, somehow. Probably tomorrow. At the hands of swine flu terrorist paedo bird flu schizophrenic weed smokers.
(, Thu 19 Nov 2009, 10:56, archived)
# An extremely dense, pregnant girl who worked in the hairdresser near my place of work
stormed in a few months ago and shouted "MEH BROTHER MIGHT HAE SWINE FLU! COULD EH LOSS THE BAIRN?"

I fucking love Dundee.
(, Thu 19 Nov 2009, 11:00, archived)
Heroin addict, smoker, and alcoholic, Ingin Peh (47) from Dundee, lost her child three months into pregnancy yesterday. She stated: "MEH BROTHER MIGHT HAE SWINE FLU AN EH LOSS THE BAIRN!"

Her brother was unavailable for comment, as he lives in Inverness and has never met her, despite being the father of the child.
(, Thu 19 Nov 2009, 11:06, archived)
# It was probably the vaccine, it usually is.
I had a yellow fever vaccine yesterday, I haven't turned autistic yet so I reckon I'm safe enough to get the other boosters I need tomorrow.

Thank god I'm a health professional, I know the secret code to make sure you get the vaccines that won't kill you. People slag off the New World Order, but it's quite handy if you're in it.
(, Thu 19 Nov 2009, 11:13, archived)
# haha
that means the person after you in the queue will get your share of the mercury. MURDERER
(, Thu 19 Nov 2009, 11:24, archived)
# I tried to find a forest-raping paedophile's erection once
but I couldn't see the wood for the trees
(, Thu 19 Nov 2009, 10:50, archived)
# *slaps*
(, Thu 19 Nov 2009, 10:51, archived)
# *also slaps*
(, Thu 19 Nov 2009, 10:52, archived)
# *More Slaps*
(, Thu 19 Nov 2009, 11:04, archived)
# that bit was a joke, trying to justify this challenge
(, Thu 19 Nov 2009, 10:46, archived)
# Jokes? On B3TA?
NEVER. This is a serious website, for serious arty stuff.
(, Thu 19 Nov 2009, 10:49, archived)