![[challenge entry]](/images/board_posticon_c.gif "Challenge Entry: Make Art More Awesome"){kind=small}
much better
From the Make Art More Awesome challenge. See all 735 entries (closed)
(
FIEND,
Mon 22 Mar 2010, 22:57,
archived)
if my missus looked like the one in the original I'd have a lot more porn
(
Paul_P http://www.Paul-hub.com,
Mon 22 Mar 2010, 23:01,
archived)
I didn't say that I had no porn whatsoeverI just said I would have more
( Paul_P http://www.Paul-hub.com,
Mon 22 Mar 2010, 23:07,
archived)
Subscription Filled
Valin I changed glasses while I wasn't looking,
Mon 22 Mar 2010, 23:21,
archived)
Nicely! tj: fucking passport service abroad...
"We've only put up the bare minimum of contradictory information on our site and the embassy refuses to take phone calls in relation to passports. However, you can phone out fucking expensive credit-card line for a twenty-minute recorded message that still doesn't answer your question. Further contradictory information can be found on many of the forums where people from the UK have moved to Australia and, if you can find your way through 2.5 x 10^35 threads on "where can I find marmite in Australia!!??eleventy-one!", you will quickly realise that they don't usually know their arse from their elbow.
The fee for this lack of service is 2.5 x that of the normal cost, which we use to fill the gaping void left by budget cuts to the FCO, most of which goes on helping to release UK drug smugglers from Phucked-in-teh-arsse prison in Thailand.
Additionally, the consulate exchange rate bears absolutely no relation to any historical exchange rate between pounds stirling and Australian dollars.
Due to a recent law we got pushed through without attracting attention, if you have followed any of our contradictory advice, this will result in you application being unsuccessful without return or refund of the passport fee of GBP 180.
Many of you have asked about countersignitories on photos. You MUST have one of you passport photos signed by someone who has known you for at least two years in that country, despite you only having lived there for six months. Also, you can just send them in unsigned if you look like your old passport photo. Failure to meet both of these rules results in us keeping your fee, you being deported for lack of a passport and losing your job."
("We've only put up the bare minimum of contradictory information on our site and the embassy refuses to take phone calls in relation to passports. However, you can phone out fucking expensive credit-card line for a twenty-minute recorded message that still doesn't answer your question. Further contradictory information can be found on many of the forums where people from the UK have moved to Australia and, if you can find your way through 2.5 x 10^35 threads on "where can I find marmite in Australia!!??eleventy-one!", you will quickly realise that they don't usually know their arse from their elbow.
The fee for this lack of service is 2.5 x that of the normal cost, which we use to fill the gaping void left by budget cuts to the FCO, most of which goes on helping to release UK drug smugglers from Phucked-in-teh-arsse prison in Thailand.
Additionally, the consulate exchange rate bears absolutely no relation to any historical exchange rate between pounds stirling and Australian dollars.
Due to a recent law we got pushed through without attracting attention, if you have followed any of our contradictory advice, this will result in you application being unsuccessful without return or refund of the passport fee of GBP 180.
Many of you have asked about countersignitories on photos. You MUST have one of you passport photos signed by someone who has known you for at least two years in that country, despite you only having lived there for six months. Also, you can just send them in unsigned if you look like your old passport photo. Failure to meet both of these rules results in us keeping your fee, you being deported for lack of a passport and losing your job."
Colonel Boris "...a desperate Buzzfeed imitation...",
Mon 22 Mar 2010, 23:23,
archived)
It's daunting isn't it.There was a problem with my first application and the Brit Consulate returned it to me. It had me sweating for a while, but they turned it around quickly when I got the corrected forms back to them.
Good luck with yours.
(Good luck with yours.
mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ,
Mon 22 Mar 2010, 23:29,
archived)
Ta!It's amazing how the embassy don't want to know you unless you're in prison...
( Colonel Boris "...a desperate Buzzfeed imitation...",
Mon 22 Mar 2010, 23:33,
archived)
Good, isn't it?I put my passport through the washing machine and went through the fun of trying to get a replacement in Germany which, I might add, is in the EU and should be about the easiest place in the world to get a replacement UK passport. A few stressful days later and I say fuck it, I'm not going to fucking Duesseldorf and spending a fucking small fortune on the train and then on a passport which costs one and a half times as much for the privilege of getting it in three weeks. So I just get on a plane to Britain anyway and have fun at the border explaining to a border guard that it went through the washing machine.
"You say it went through a washing machine."
"Yes, in the back pocket."
"It looks like it was chewed by a dog."
"No, it went through a washing machine."
"Hmm. You realise that there aren't any security features left on it?"
"Really? I thought it would be OK."
"You can't travel on this."
[Blank look.]
"You need to get a new one."
Border guard then lets me through into Britain.
SAFEST BORDERS IN THE WORLD. On Christmas Eve I was at the passport office getting a replacement. Same money as Duesseldorf except I got it in 4 hours instead of three weeks.
("You say it went through a washing machine."
"Yes, in the back pocket."
"It looks like it was chewed by a dog."
"No, it went through a washing machine."
"Hmm. You realise that there aren't any security features left on it?"
"Really? I thought it would be OK."
"You can't travel on this."
[Blank look.]
"You need to get a new one."
Border guard then lets me through into Britain.
SAFEST BORDERS IN THE WORLD. On Christmas Eve I was at the passport office getting a replacement. Same money as Duesseldorf except I got it in 4 hours instead of three weeks.
boris the spider,
Tue 23 Mar 2010, 0:53,
archived)