Pudsey Blair

The biggest charity case in England since Joey
(noggin teh nog, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:32, archived)

arf!
TJ: anyone listening to 1xtra?
whats the title of this tupac tune they're playing?
(icedragon, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:36, archived)

"return of the mac"

( Sir Sand Goblin dreary cunt, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:38, archived)

the pac-a-mac?

(Ellis, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:39, archived)

Knick knack paddy-whack?

( Ijon Tichy, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:41, archived)

..
cunts
:)
(icedragon, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:42, archived)

I'm a little teapot?

( Samsonite, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:41, archived)

i'm a shitfaced rapist and the world is better off without me?
( atomboy, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 14:00, archived)

haha!
:D
( mother inferior - now fully in compliance with the Trades Descriptions Act, being both a mother and inferior, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:37, archived)

DDDDDDEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAACCCCCCCCCOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!

( Ravenblack "Now and then", Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:46, archived)

I saw this in London and had to take a photo of it:

(themanwhofellasleep, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:31, archived)

Bark!!!

( Ravenblack "Now and then", Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:32, archived)

Woof!!!
Edit: I showed a Rangie owner how it was done yesterday. I got up a steep bank and he didn't. Hahahahahaha!

Shit car.
( HP SPEEDCORE!, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:33, archived)

Me decided to get
TD5 110 double cab....superchipped.
( Ravenblack "Now and then", Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:39, archived)

Oooooh
Tasty.
( HP SPEEDCORE!, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:41, archived)

Yeah....
Common sense prevailed. Buy a 110 with 20years left on it (at least) or do up my Rangies that has already seen the best part of 20 years... 2" lift and body protection. Pre-cooler and 2" pipe to release some of the horses. ARB lockers front and back. Warn 9i winch. Keep it simple!
( Ravenblack "Now and then", Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:43, archived)

ooh, it all went a bit max power here dint it?
:)
( baby wet ones, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:55, archived)

hahahaha!

( Reverend Dan Thank you, please > fbanimations.tumblr.com, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:33, archived)

why
cant i see this - am i the only one?
(Tabilda Been away a LONG time *grovels*, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:35, archived)

a) are you severly firewalled?
b) are you Ray Charles?
(themanwhofellasleep, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:37, archived)

no restrictions at all
have administrator priveleges - yay! my mother has him on the "possibles" list as my father though...
(Tabilda Been away a LONG time *grovels*, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:38, archived)

no you
are not.
sometimes your firewall will not display pics remote linked from filtered sites
edit. fucking websense!
( biscuits_alive is totally trying to evolve his head off over here, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:38, archived)

Hahahahaha!

( pxyzyzygy, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:36, archived)

That always
brightens my day. Ta Muchly!!
( Toma_o, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:37, archived)

Wow
Hypnotic....And there was me hoping to get some work done today
(@man dinner dinner dinner dinner, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:37, archived)

god
i love them
(noggin teh nog, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:45, archived)

yay - is that the gay one?

( Slim has found god. He was down the back of the sofa., Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:39, archived)

( Thor_sonofodin https://twitter.com/Thor_sonofodin, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:47, archived)

tee hee
I like that.

I like Slim's pope too, but he looks too much like Robin Williams for me to be comfortable with.
( MizEmma, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:49, archived)

( bovine www.richardtingley.co.uk, visit or I kill you, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:52, archived)

I would
.
(noggin teh nog, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:54, archived)

that
is truly brilliant.
woo!
( atomboy, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 14:01, archived)

I had to post something so A.W wouldn't keep popping up everytime I refresh...
I didn't write this...and nor did I say I did...it is a total rip off....BUT it is better looking than the picture below...and that is my excuse...and men are just as bad, but hey...
Please note that the all British banks will shortly be following EU directives and installing new "Drive-thru" cash point machines. Following the growing threat of violence and muggings, this will enable customers to safely withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles.To help assist users, the following procedures have been drawn up.

Please read the procedure that applies to your own circumstances (MALE or
FEMALE) and remember them when you use the
state-of-the-art facilites for
the first time.

Male Procedure

1. Drive up to the cash machine.

2. Wind down your car window.

3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.

4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.

5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt

6. Wind up window

7. Drive off

Female Procedure


1. Drive up to cash machine

2. Reverse back the required amount to re-align car
window to machine

3. Re-start the stalled engine

4. Wind down the window

5. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger
seat to locate card.

6. Turn the radio down to concentrate more

7. Attempt to insert card into machine

8. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due
to its excessive
distance from the car

9. Insert card

10. Remove card and re-insert the right way up

11. Re-enter handbag to find diary with your PIN
written on the inside back
page.

12. Enter PIN.

13. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.

14. Enter amount of cash required

15. Check make up in rear view mirror

16. Retrieve cash and receipt

17. Empty handbag again to locate purse and place cash
inside

18. Place receipt in back of cheque book

19. Re-check make-up again

20. Drive forwards 10 yards

21. Brake sharply and reverse back to cash machine

22. Retrieve card

23. Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place
card into the slot
provided

24. Restart stalled engine and pull off

25. Drive for 2 to 3 miles

26. Release handbrake

SICcopied direct from a received email!
( Ravenblack "Now and then", Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:30, archived)

ho ho ho

( Reverend Dan Thank you, please > fbanimations.tumblr.com, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:31, archived)

doh
yawn
(masterbassist, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:32, archived)

that is so old
it was sent around on parchment before they invented email
( Pootle where's his tart on his sleve?, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:33, archived)

and in books
before they discovered the miracle of staple removal
( Sargant, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:33, archived)

I saw
the cave painting version of it.
( Toma_o, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:33, archived)

I never said it was new.....
It's just better looking than Anne Widdicomthing
( Ravenblack "Now and then", Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:34, archived)

sexist twat
and i have heard it before - post your own work...
(Tabilda Been away a LONG time *grovels*, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:33, archived)

nothing wrong
with being sexy
/young ones?
( Bitchpapa, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:36, archived)

spinal tap

( Reverend Dan Thank you, please > fbanimations.tumblr.com, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:37, archived)

11

( Ravenblack "Now and then", Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:38, archived)

must be on
a womans period
( betpet is the fun in dysfunctional, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 14:16, archived)

If there is one thing I hate
(and there isn't, I hate loads of things) it's people who take excessive amounts of time at cash machines. How hard can it be? Many people act as though they hae never seen one before and are totally befuddled by technology. Meanwhile, I stand behind them getting angrier and angrier.
(themanwhofellasleep, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:33, archived)

Why not just not get angry.
It's such a pointless thing to get angry about. They're going to make you, what, 45 seconds late?
( pxyzyzygy, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:41, archived)

Exactly.
Do you know what I do for a living? I'm a 100 metre sprinter. That 45 seconds makes the difference between a gold medal and the slowest ever finish!
(themanwhofellasleep, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:52, archived)

Ah, well in that case, just carry a flame thrower
wherever you go. You know it makes sense.
( pxyzyzygy, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:54, archived)

i understand
how DO people take so long at cash machines ? All you can do is check your balance, print a statement and get money...but somehow they still spend 10 minutes starting at the screen....i just don't get it !
(JBoom, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:52, archived)

*glares at Houston Knights*

( HP SPEEDCORE!, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:33, archived)

*ignites az whilst his concentration is diverted*

( Sargant, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:35, archived)

hahahahaha!
this is why I never learned to drive :)
( mother inferior - now fully in compliance with the Trades Descriptions Act, being both a mother and inferior, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:33, archived)

My my
your spelling and grammar is atrocious

facilites

vehicles.To
( Kris Fucking Kristofferson rides the short bus, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:34, archived)

surely
his spelling and grammar ARE atrocious?
( mother inferior - now fully in compliance with the Trades Descriptions Act, being both a mother and inferior, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:36, archived)

"atrocious."
There's always someone more pedantic than yourself.
( Sargant, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:36, archived)

It was
A test, you both passed.
Well done!
( Kris Fucking Kristofferson rides the short bus, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:37, archived)

See bottom of my post.
not my speling.

If it wars then it wuold be grate.
( Ravenblack "Now and then", Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:38, archived)

Calm down love
its just a commercial
( Kris Fucking Kristofferson rides the short bus, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:39, archived)

BWaaaa!!!!!
Nice!
( Ravenblack "Now and then", Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:40, archived)

I larfed and larfed and larfed
:) woo!...
( Az The Spaz, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:34, archived)

too much text.
and it is old.
( Thor_sonofodin https://twitter.com/Thor_sonofodin, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:35, archived)

You prefer
the picture below!

SICKO!!!!
( Ravenblack "Now and then", Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:37, archived)

the pic is straight to the point.

( Thor_sonofodin https://twitter.com/Thor_sonofodin, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:41, archived)

THAT
is the problem!

/shivver
( Ravenblack "Now and then", Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:45, archived)

Christ.

( pxyzyzygy, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:36, archived)

heh heh
car
(iceblade, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:51, archived)

but
the pic is brilliant, and this is just reductive sexual stereotyping crap, that frankly the world can do without
( atomboy, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 14:03, archived)

Michael Howard has something of the Knight about him


Sorry.
( underneath the weeping willow, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:25, archived)

aaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrgggggggggggggggggggggggghhh
anne widdicome in bed


*runs away*



edit: and it didn't even animate the first time :-S
( lemony, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:26, archived)

wank it
wank it HARD
(Tabilda Been away a LONG time *grovels*, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:27, archived)

hahaha!
I just had a supernoodles-meet-monitor moment.
Woo yay!
( mother inferior - now fully in compliance with the Trades Descriptions Act, being both a mother and inferior, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:27, archived)

i would.

( Sir Sand Goblin dreary cunt, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:27, archived)

hmmm
Michael or Ann?
(Tabilda Been away a LONG time *grovels*, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:28, archived)

...or
both at the same time?
( splorp ®, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:31, archived)

that idea
has disturbed my weight-watchers cup-a-soup and marmite sanwich...
(Tabilda Been away a LONG time *grovels*, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:37, archived)

Blimey!
You're alright though...? ;-)
( splorp ®, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:49, archived)

Euuurrghh!
Imagine the filth she must be kicking up down there.
( chobb ,ø¤ºGREATº¤ø,¸¸,ø¤ºRAPISTº¤ø,¸¸,ø¤ºRECOMMENDEDº¤ø, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:27, archived)

lol !
please god, no. i am too young to consider such horrific images
(JBoom, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:32, archived)

I bet it's like
stirring a stagnant pond.
( bovine www.richardtingley.co.uk, visit or I kill you, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:36, archived)

breaking the crust...
\coat
( Lynxkitten, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:50, archived)

Bloody hell
There's no need for that sort of behaviour

*vomits*
( HP SPEEDCORE!, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:27, archived)

*blllllllleeeeeuuuurrrrrrgggghhh!*
*huey*
*gip*
*boik*

Thanks
( Samsonite, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:28, archived)

hehe!
you'll be needing a dry cleaners for that suit, then?
:)
( mother inferior - now fully in compliance with the Trades Descriptions Act, being both a mother and inferior, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:30, archived)

Nope
I'm burning it.
Along with my eyes.
( Samsonite, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:39, archived)

You sick fuck
bwaaaahahahaha
( Kris Fucking Kristofferson rides the short bus, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:29, archived)

WRONG!
SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO WRONG!

/runs head under hot tap
( pxyzyzygy, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:29, archived)

that has to be the best diet program in the world


one look, and you'll never be able to keep your lunch down again
( lo, the OTHER greebo warrior, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:29, archived)

it worries me that
not only did you think of this, you also spent time putting it together. enough time to do a good job too...
( mrRush, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:30, archived)

you are a bad, bad person
woo!
( Prof. Slocombe checked Google and found out that its, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:30, archived)

Phucking Funny
naughty person.
( Toma_o, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:31, archived)

haha

( corington, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:32, archived)

ha ha ha
sinister stuff
( Pootle where's his tart on his sleve?, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:33, archived)

MEIN EYES!
Ze Goggles!...etc
( Bitchpapa, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:36, archived)

KILL IT
KILL IT DEAD!!!!!!!!
(iceblade, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:39, archived)

For the love of god,
not at lunchtime!
and preferably not at any time at all. Scuse me while I go off and throw up my lunch.
( MizEmma, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:43, archived)

Luckily
my lunch was too revolting to keep down in the first place, so im juuuust fine. *shudder*
(Caligula, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:47, archived)

OH MY GOD
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

I'd only just stopped having the nightmares
(weedom, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:51, archived)

Coffee
Monitor

Sickening yet very funny
( Squid Ink should be stored upright in a cool, dark place, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:55, archived)

urrgh
my keyboard is full of vomit

but WYH none the less
(lord bofingham, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:59, archived)

That's just wrong.
Funny though.
(Evil Bastardo, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 14:10, archived)

To laugh...
...or to cry.
Or to gip.
Yes, i think i'll gip
(Scarrott, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 15:04, archived)

That just keeps making me laugh.
Ha ha ha ha ha! there I go again. And beautifully crafted, too.



Ann - time to get up now. or am I going to have to come in there and get you!!!
(Bob Hopelessness, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 15:32, archived)

Wrong!
wrongwrongwrongwrongwrongwrongwrongwrongwrongwrongwrongwrongwrongwrongwrongwrongwrongwrongwrongwrongwrongwrongwrongwrongwrongwrongwrongwrongwrongwrongwrongwrongwrongwrongwrongwrongwrongwrongwrongwrongwrongwrongwrongwrongwrongwrongwrongwrongwrongwrongwrongwrongwrongwrongwrongwrongwrongwrongwrongwrongwrongwrongwrongwrongwrongwrongwrongwrongwrongwrongwrongwrongwrongwrongwrongwrongwrongwrongwrongwrongwrongwrongwrongwrongwrongwrongwrongwrongwrongwrongwrongwrongwrongwrongwrongwrongwrongwrongwrongwrongwrongwrongwrongwrongwrongwrongwrongwrongwrongwrongwrongwrongwrongwrongwrongwrongwrongwrongwrongwrongwrongwrongwrongwrongwrongwrongwrongwrongwrongwrongwrongwrongwrongwrongwrongwrongwrongwrongwrongwrongwrongwrongwrongwrongwrongwrongwrongwrongwrongwrongwrongwrongwrongwrongwrongwrongwrongwrongwrongwrongwrongwrongwrongwrongwrongwrongwrong
(abitsick does dallas., Mon 3 Nov 2003, 15:53, archived)

||OnO||
Must...gouge out own eyes!
( Blobcat Previously known as Amazongirl, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 18:18, archived)

ARRRRGGGHHHHH!!!
my eyes! it burns!
(bazmataz, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 18:27, archived)

nice
Exellent! w000t!
(Captain Chronic, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 20:11, archived)

That
My friend, is twenty-three different flavours of wrong.
(nunoncastors is more serious than cancer, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 20:35, archived)

no
horror wanking shouldn't be seen
(funkyballs, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 22:37, archived)

( Baz Fuck off, Tue 4 Nov 2003, 0:07, archived)

Geri Halliwell

sorry, I'll stop now
( mother inferior - now fully in compliance with the Trades Descriptions Act, being both a mother and inferior, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:21, archived)

she looks like a spade
which is just as well, really.
( Sargant, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:23, archived)

i always thought she was a spanner

( lo, the OTHER greebo warrior, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:23, archived)

Girl power
an' all that shoite


/Bo' Selecta
( Az The Spaz, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:30, archived)

spadey spice
and wasn't she ginger
( lemony, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:23, archived)

has
she missed her last 'brazilian' appointment?
(Pouched_species, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:23, archived)

arf!
meant to be a bikini but I've heard that Atkins does make you very hairy
( mother inferior - now fully in compliance with the Trades Descriptions Act, being both a mother and inferior, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:24, archived)

not just that
but your hair goes a couple of shades darker.

so ginger would look like an anorexic bear.
( lazygamer losing weight by shitting profusely (22lbs so far), Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:26, archived)

good grief!
I wonder would it cure my greyness?
( mother inferior - now fully in compliance with the Trades Descriptions Act, being both a mother and inferior, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:28, archived)

wouldn't that mean she had hairy boobies as well?

( alistair, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:31, archived)

I heard that rumour
;)
( mother inferior - now fully in compliance with the Trades Descriptions Act, being both a mother and inferior, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:34, archived)

Arf!
Nicely done, Mother.
( HP SPEEDCORE!, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:23, archived)

har har
and what great news to wake up to -- congratulations Dog and MI :)
(KnitWit, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:24, archived)

thankyou ma'am
:)
( mother inferior - now fully in compliance with the Trades Descriptions Act, being both a mother and inferior, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:25, archived)

WOO to the pic
and congratulations to December happyness:)
( Az The Spaz, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:29, archived)

Aah!
Thankyou :)
( mother inferior - now fully in compliance with the Trades Descriptions Act, being both a mother and inferior, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:31, archived)

It's me. Mini me.


Edit: Sorry for bigness of Mini me.
(Ollsen, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:14, archived)

animpated jopie?
amazing
( lemony, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:15, archived)

nice stuff
and reminds me of this guy
archive.greenpeace.org/comms/jim1.gif
( rob You should follow me http://twitter.com/robmanuel, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:15, archived)

That's not me...
.
(Ollsen, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:17, archived)

no
he's just a bloke I used to work with.
( rob You should follow me http://twitter.com/robmanuel, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:21, archived)

hey rob..
I dont wanna sound like a git..

But, any chance you could link to yougotspotted on the FP rather than our photos on someone elses site?

www.yougotspotted.com/b3ta
( Obz Click, ting, stamps, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:24, archived)

Bloody hell!

( pxyzyzygy, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:16, archived)

Reminds me of 'Rainbow'
I just had to do the strange sound effects myself.
( Prof. Slocombe checked Google and found out that its, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:17, archived)

woo! that's ace.
shame about the model...
;)
( mrRush, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:19, archived)

haha... Heidi Klum had just gone out shopping
..
(Ollsen, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:21, archived)

that, sir
is thoroughly ace.
woo
( atomboy, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:22, archived)

thank you all so much...
:-)
(Ollsen, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:23, archived)

on behalf of everyone
you're welcome, and than you for entertaining us with that lovely pic
( atomboy, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:24, archived)

My pleasure! For anyone interested...
...the original flash version can be seen here:
www.obentz.de
(Ollsen, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:27, archived)

du
hast eine sehr kleine linkliste
( atomboy, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 14:11, archived)

Es war der einzige Link, der mir spontan einfiel...
.
(Ollsen, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 14:15, archived)

nicely done
WYH
(lord bofingham, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 14:01, archived)

Best Graffiti I Ever Saw
I was sitting in a pub in Oxford outside one of the posh colleges. I needed a crap and went to the loo. On closing the toilet door I noticed the graffiti was a little different to normal. Being Oxford someone had written a rather moving love poem down the door. Being Oxford there was something more: someone else had added a detailed poetry critique. Complete with references and footnotes. Oh those wacky students eh?

(Can you beat that? Best / funniest stories will be used for B3ta radio.)
( rob You should follow me http://twitter.com/robmanuel, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:11, archived)

this reminds me of alan partridge
always used a gag from dennis norden's (i think) book of humorous graffiti to start a speech

[edit] on a fence overlooking the M40 (just before Junction 1 westbound), somebody has painted "why do i do this everyday?", which is certainly the most apt graffiti i've ever seen, since it's my route home from work
( atomboy, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:12, archived)

demotivation graffiti
what a good idea
( rob You should follow me http://twitter.com/robmanuel, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:17, archived)

I saw that the other day coming back from Oxford.
And there's various other bits of multicoloured stuff too small to read as you zip past.
( pxyzyzygy, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:20, archived)

one of them says
"i am the king* of peas" *or possibly god, which is nice
( atomboy, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:23, archived)

I pass that quite often.
Originally it was just the "why do I do this..." but it has been added to over the past year or so to the point that it has lost some of its original impact.

It's still quite impressive though.

The only time you can read all of it is when the traffic for the M25 is backed all the way up and you can crawl past it.
( jonas is not my name, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 14:50, archived)

that one alwayus makes me laugh..
..on the southbound M40 right?
(Scribble, Tue 4 Nov 2003, 9:45, archived)

Yeah I saw that, but on the M25,...
Sat in a traffic jam looking at that,.. 3 months later I'd quit my job and moved 250 miles away from London :)
(HoTWire, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 14:07, archived)

damn right
I head up and down the M40 every day and see that message... it really is depressing, and 100% of accurate
( Reckless_Rik, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 14:33, archived)

Similar,
On bridge over motorway into town, forget where, HUGE letters - "Good morning lemmings"
(mr pete, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 16:07, archived)

You mean this?

( Zak Canard remembers this place, vaguely, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 17:59, archived)

That's the one
Classic
(mr pete, Tue 4 Nov 2003, 16:43, archived)

LOL!
That is an absolute f**king classic!
(Hektor, Wed 5 Nov 2003, 21:48, archived)

Same again, back when all this were trees
Good
Morning
Lemmings
in the early 1980's on successive pillars coming off the M4 at Hammersmith
(sad b'stard, Sun 9 Nov 2003, 9:48, archived)

Used to be spread over
three consecutive bridges on the M3.
( Flapjack the halls with boughs of holly Fala-lala-laa Lala La Laa, Tue 4 Nov 2003, 9:51, archived)

This is not demotivational as such
but it is fucking funny.

www.banksy.co.uk

.
(mr pete, Thu 6 Nov 2003, 12:58, archived)

Banksy is superb...
Having lived in Bristol over the past five years I'm no stranger to his work. If you take a stroll around the streets of St.Pauls, Kingsdown, Cotham etc. you can see many examples of his work.
My favourite is the large one on Gloucester Road showing the teddy bear throwing a molotov cocktail at a group of police with riot shields.
Has anyone seen that? I wish I could post up a copy.
(trollbite, Thu 6 Nov 2003, 13:47, archived)

yeah
I walk past it every time I go into the centre, the caption is "the mild mild west", or somesuch...
(matt'twam'asi, Thu 6 Nov 2003, 13:53, archived)

Currently
there's an advert for something (can't remember what, so it can't be a very good advert) that has a picture of Jaime Rednapp standing next to a fat bloke wearing a shirt saying "I'm Jaimie Rednapp".
Someone near me has written on Jaime: "I'm a Cunt"
( Weetobix is a married man, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 16:29, archived)

similarly
on a fly poster for the last holly valance record someone had written over her cleavage, "I am a dirty bitch, I fuck Gypos"
( atomic mingus, Tue 4 Nov 2003, 17:20, archived)

Remember Leah Betts?
There was a poster in Worcester with her on a life support machine. It said "Leah died after taking one tablet of extacy."
Underneath somebody wrote a very very big "LIGHTWEIGHT"
( Zuowan , yes, in China., Fri 7 Nov 2003, 20:34, archived)

You mean
Jaime Redknapp, the Mexican defender?
(Sybil 'n' Tess, Tue 4 Nov 2003, 17:38, archived)

In Nelson, Lancashire
There is a railway bridge in the centre, and someone had put 7 pieces of paper along it so it reads 'NIPPLES'.

I thought that was genius. Made me larf. But then someone changed it to the ever present GOURANGA.

Which never fails to remind me of Lenny Henry. "GOURANGA MY FRIEND. AOOOWA AOOOWA"
(V3lvetPresley, Tue 4 Nov 2003, 12:53, archived)

in a similar vein
spotted on a roadsign near a distinctly middle class area of Reading: "fat nobodys in company cars". Cutting.
(breadtroll, Wed 5 Nov 2003, 13:20, archived)

it's
Nigel Rees book of graffiti.

He published at least three volumes of it not including best ofs.

And in the second volume, there was one bit that said, "If Nigel Rees uses this, I hope I get paid this time."
( fishsticks, Wed 5 Nov 2003, 17:29, archived)

Oxford is strange
I know of another wall sized piece of thought provoking intellectual vanadlism in Oxford. Simply says "Life is not a paragraph". I dont understand what they are going on about or why Oxford seems to attract a better class of vandal, still makes you think!!!

If its not a paragraph what is it?
(Lord Turkey Boy the First The Real Turkey Boy, Thu 6 Nov 2003, 10:37, archived)

silly fool
It's a line from an ee cummings poem.
(punch, Mon 10 Nov 2003, 1:40, archived)

Heh!
You said 'cummings'.
(Bob Hopelessness, Mon 10 Nov 2003, 13:09, archived)

Best I ever saw was on a fence in Leyton.
It simply said "Start Your Sheep". Lasted a good 10 years.
( pxyzyzygy, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:13, archived)

On a local crossing light,
underneath the illumintated "Wait" message, someone has scrawled in Tipp-Ex "while I get undressed".
( bovine www.richardtingley.co.uk, visit or I kill you, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:13, archived)

fuck
Over the top of the illuminated message on a traffic light near me, someone has written in big bold letters with a marker pen "fuck". The piece of grafiti itself isn't that funny it's just the thought of the retarded, easily amused vandal that did it that tickles me.
(Skippy_T, Wed 5 Nov 2003, 18:48, archived)

chalkboard in a pub toilet
"chalk below, write your graffiti here"
huge scratched words with a key or something
"try harder"
( Sargant, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:13, archived)

a lot of the roadsigns where i am
have started being written in english only.
welsh nationalists keep translating them.
( Sargant, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:14, archived)

Bloody welsh.
they get everywhere.
( Thor_sonofodin https://twitter.com/Thor_sonofodin, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:17, archived)

lets rebuild offa's dyke
you know it makes sense...
( lo, the OTHER greebo warrior, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:21, archived)

it wasn't actually meant to keep the Welsh out
but only to show them how powerful the king was, and anyone who could build something so big and long, was probably best not antagonised.
</documentary addict>
( Pootle where's his tart on his sleve?, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:36, archived)

Whats the point?
If they can translate them, they can understand them anyway.
( Lumpbucket says: Try Giddy 3! http://www.giddy3.co.uk, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:40, archived)

the point is
that it is their language. They speak it. And not just to piss you off.
( bleepbloop, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:50, archived)

well
i made up my own language. I don't speak it, but I could if I wanted to. I don't write it on signs.
( Lumpbucket says: Try Giddy 3! http://www.giddy3.co.uk, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:51, archived)

mmmm
it sounds like you're the sort that thinks that the Potato Famine was caused by a shortage of potatoes.
( bleepbloop, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:55, archived)

No
It was caused by an excess of Irishmen
(jonnies, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:56, archived)

.
.
(pikey hardly, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 14:31, archived)

That
is the funniest thing all day.
( 100% Cock I believe that Gorgonzola is the best cheese., Tue 4 Nov 2003, 10:17, archived)

that and an excess of viable grain being shipped
to the UK - well England more specifically.

edit: summat nicer
( WhoElse I'm what Willis was talking about, Tue 4 Nov 2003, 11:39, archived)

hahahahah
vandal humour :D
( fassit, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:15, archived)

In the ladies loos
in The Bull in Rugby, there's a grafitti argument going on on the back of one of the doors. It starts with one person complaining about the state of the loos (anyone see the irony there?) and is continued by someone else calling the first person a disgusting vandal for grafitti-ing the toilets (what about there?)

The intelligence level of the majority of the people in Rugby isn't too high...
(The Squirrels in the graveyard steal my drugs and swear at me!, Tue 4 Nov 2003, 17:00, archived)

You're telling Me !
Daft Cunts think football is played by picking the ball up and running with it !

And they've got rid of the "Return to Oz" which was always a superb pub (?)

(Living in Coventry is Hell)
( The Mighty Gusset Has updated his profile, but only a little bit !, Wed 5 Nov 2003, 11:14, archived)

i'll hear less
slurs about coventry, please
(Dr Cat9 M.D., Wed 5 Nov 2003, 11:59, archived)

You can hear this ?
You Scare Me !!!!

I mean, most cities build their Ring Roads round the outside !

Is it okay if I slag off Bedworth ?
( The Mighty Gusset Has updated his profile, but only a little bit !, Thu 6 Nov 2003, 9:44, archived)

Yes, it is!!!
It really is! And feel free to slag off Nuneaton too. I live there. Feel sorry for me...
(The Squirrels in the graveyard steal my drugs and swear at me!, Sat 8 Nov 2003, 13:13, archived)

i once saw someone had drawn
a big cock which stretched across the road.
which isn't all that exciting.
( Sir Sand Goblin dreary cunt, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:14, archived)

people often do that
in the mountain stages of the tour de france.
it's fun spotting them on eurosport
( atomboy, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:16, archived)

Oh Yes
Down the road from us is quite a posh estate called 'The Chase' where all the snobbery live. 'The Chase' is carved into a stone wall and looks very grand......well it did until some thoughtful soul spraypainted 'Chevy' in the middle of it.

Well it made me laugh...
( Scary Mary The D'oh Fairy, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:14, archived)

i used to shag a girl who lived in chevy chase
it's a vaguely snobbish part of the Washington DC metro area
(greengo, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 17:28, archived)

That was much better
with just the subject line.
( The Mighty Gusset Has updated his profile, but only a little bit !, Wed 5 Nov 2003, 11:20, archived)

not as snobbish as
Georgetown.

Makes my soul shrivel.
(laurathefrog, Fri 7 Nov 2003, 2:56, archived)

Hmm..
In our old school bathrooms, someone had ripped the words out of the old Biology textbook, and written " I lick cat's bottoms" in the letters . :)
(number 27-hunter, Tue 4 Nov 2003, 0:48, archived)

Saw a sign on a toilet the other day
and someone had removed the "I" so it said To Let...
( Dr.Dunno, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:14, archived)

genius

( rob You should follow me http://twitter.com/robmanuel, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:16, archived)

i once
added an I to a To Let sign, but nobody seemed to get confused, unfortunately
( atomboy, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:16, archived)

I love the
"60,000 SQ. FOOT TO LET" signs. I always wished I could change them to "60,000 SQ. FOOT TOILET".
( Lumpbucket says: Try Giddy 3! http://www.giddy3.co.uk, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:22, archived)

i dreamed of doing that since i was a kid
and there was office space above southampton central train station to let.
( atomboy, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:25, archived)

I got caught sticking a big cardboard "I" onto a sign for a huge but ugly office block in Glasgow.
I explained to the cop that it wasn't vandalism, but architectural criticism. He said "Yeah, it's fucking ugly, isn't it? Now.. piss off. Quick.".
I didn't need to be told twice. I took my aluminium stepladder and legged it.
( chaotic_illuminator wanking enthusiast, Tue 4 Nov 2003, 13:54, archived)

I saw some graffiti on the bottomeof a toilet door as I was taking a shit.

It was written quite small, so I had to lean over to read it.

It said....

"you are now shitting at an angle of 45 degrees"
(guinea, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:14, archived)

hahahahah
excellent
( fassit, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:15, archived)

In the
Erskine Medical Library in Edinburgh uni one of the cubicles has grafitti on the bottom corner of the wall:

"If you're reading this, you're peeing on your shoes..."
( Fudgebags will wear you like a glove, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 16:25, archived)

My older brother used to glue pound coins to the bottom of toilets with the queens head facing up
Personally, What's quite funny, although not exactly graffiti, Is to write "reading this note will make you [insert insult her- eg.gay/smell/ugly]
(tom the astronaut, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 18:17, archived)

does glue work underwater?
how does it dry?
(chegosaurus sucks at b3ta, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 19:30, archived)

superglue uses
water molecules to initiate the polymerisation reaction for bonding, it doesn't 'dry' as such.

Er... I'll go now.
(Zak is pleased with your offerings, Wed 5 Nov 2003, 1:40, archived)

he's right
I do use... erm.. that.
( RarelyEvil, Wed 5 Nov 2003, 17:26, archived)

That's been around a while
My dad spotted it in Oxford in the 60s. When he was JCR member with special responsibility for the underground toilet block (official post title: Rear Vice Admiral. And I'm not making that up.)
( Dr Almost, Wed 5 Nov 2003, 13:15, archived)

i once saw some graffiti on the back of the loo
in leeds station, it went as follows:
'FREE! HOT GAY CHAT FOR NOTHING!!!
CALL 0800227711 NOW!!!!'

thinking nothing of it, when i got home i opened a can of fanta, and noticed the number was the coca-cola schweppes helpline
( lazygamer losing weight by shitting profusely (22lbs so far), Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:15, archived)

did you make a note of the number,
or do you have a photographic memory?
:)
( Kamikaze Stoat balanced for lean, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:18, archived)

i have a can of coke
to my left, a cup of coffee to my right.

should keep me buzzing this afternoon...
( lazygamer losing weight by shitting profusely (22lbs so far), Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:19, archived)

I have some apple juice
and a box of Lemsip. I'm going to make cocktails. I'm in for a par-tay!
( Kamikaze Stoat balanced for lean, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:22, archived)

here i am
stuck in the middle with you
(Jibbed, Tue 4 Nov 2003, 1:24, archived)

I read that
as pornographic memory...
(Harry, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 19:50, archived)

I have
one of them!
( betpet is the fun in dysfunctional, Wed 5 Nov 2003, 12:14, archived)

Gay Chat Line
Did you dial the number and thats how you found out it was the Shweppes help line, no memory skills (joke)
(Mexican Chilli Dog, Fri 7 Nov 2003, 11:58, archived)

The railway bridge
by Harold Wood station in Essex had "B U T T O C K S" in 2 foot letters, which always made me chuckle.
( Ptortoise, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:15, archived)

Getting out of Harold Wood alive
is reason enough to smile.
( PeterSeychelles, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:16, archived)

railway bridge near us in Wigan...
...still has 'QUEEN ROCKS!' written across it hehe
( meathelmet, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 16:36, archived)

Bah. You think that's old?
On a wall in Carlton Scroop in Lincolnshire it still says "USA GET OUT VIETNAM"
( sp3ccylad carries on breathing all the way up to, say, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 22:08, archived)

on the now closed down police station in Folkestone
there is still 'Stop Pool Tax'
(Weeeeee!!! Pokes badgers with spoons, Wed 5 Nov 2003, 16:28, archived)

on the wall at our local probation office
"Dogger's mum sucks dogs"
( WD-39 new tattoo tomorrow!, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:15, archived)

On a wall in Dublin
"Bert is a dog's diddy"
( pxyzyzygy, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:21, archived)

Next to some specifically insulting graffitti
('wayne is gay', or whatever) in Finsbury Park wayne (or whoever the original was aimed at, has replied) 'Whoever wrote this, their mum is a snowblower'. I'm still not really sure what a snowblower is.
(michael_k_vegfruit, Thu 6 Nov 2003, 1:52, archived)

That's
a quote from the dreadful 80s film "Short Circuit" starring Steve Guttenberg. I feel extremely sad for knowing this, and apologise for my geekery.
(mentalageofseven, Thu 6 Nov 2003, 8:42, archived)

hey laser lips...
say no more
( Emohawk, Mon 10 Nov 2003, 12:27, archived)

on a wall in Bristol
"Tracy's nan wears a wig"
(trollbite, Thu 6 Nov 2003, 14:25, archived)

the graffiti
in the gents at The Shakespear in stoke newington is of a similar bohemian nature.
( discostu RELEASE THE CHEESE!, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:16, archived)

and a
great Pub it is too
(@man dinner dinner dinner dinner, Tue 4 Nov 2003, 9:25, archived)

I travel with a lot of
school kids on my commute to work. And as a new form of uber bullying, they inscribe a note on the back of the plastic chairs with something to the effect of "Hi I'm tracey, for a good time give me a call on 'insert porr bastards mobile number here'" SOme of them get quite provocative, I just wonder how many of the dirty Slough fuckers actually phone those numbers.


Oh, and for the the Scottish people - was driving through the bloody wildnerness of Jockland, nothing but sheep, no habitation whatsoever, suddenly a sign looms near us........................................with "jobbies" written on it. The fact that someone drove miles to do that, coupled with the sheer childishness of the graffiti, disabled me from driving.
( Banana, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:16, archived)

I would

( WD-39 new tattoo tomorrow!, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:17, archived)

I've seen some like that
"For hot mexican sex call...."
(Ellis, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:36, archived)

it was
"for hardcore Mexican sex", if I remember correctly, ye silly hoot.
(McDave, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 16:06, archived)

arse off

(Ellis, Wed 5 Nov 2003, 18:31, archived)

You live near Slough?
God I go to school there (yr 13 at a convent grammar thank you very much), and I can believe those fuckers doing it
(monsta, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 19:04, archived)

Hahahaha,
Jobbies!!! Genius!
(Pedro-a-Go-Go, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 21:52, archived)

M Kahn is bent!
/Whitehouse
( supermoore: HUNG, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:16, archived)

that one always puzzled me
M Kahn was the name of the bass player in 80s band Japan. Always wondered...
( rob You should follow me http://twitter.com/robmanuel, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:19, archived)

Apparently
www.angelfire.com/ok/marywhitehouse/mkahn.html
( bloid ....dloibbloiddloibbloid...., Mon 3 Nov 2003, 14:46, archived)

I still like my Japan theory


Knowing far too much about 80s pop music, I know that M Kahn was straight (and a dispute over a girlfriend with David Sylvian was a major factor splitting the band.)

But look at the photo! I can see why people may have called his sexuality into question.

edit: Just noticed the name is spelt different. Arses.
( rob You should follow me http://twitter.com/robmanuel, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 15:03, archived)

Hee heee :-)
He does look a bit like Lurch's smaller gayer brother...
( bloid ....dloibbloiddloibbloid...., Mon 3 Nov 2003, 15:43, archived)

I dont know who he is
But the record company logo at the bottom amuses me.
(lucky_13, Wed 5 Nov 2003, 17:16, archived)

he is also
the wicket keeper of the Pakistan cricket team, I think
(Woody, Tue 4 Nov 2003, 12:40, archived)

Surely
an euphamism like that must prove it!
( betpet is the fun in dysfunctional, Wed 5 Nov 2003, 12:19, archived)

M. Kahn
is probably a very common name in Pakistan
( smutch, Wed 5 Nov 2003, 12:21, archived)

Except that's Khan.
As in Genghis, or Imran.
Kahn is Middle-European, maybe. Like Louis I. Kahn, an American architect and very geat man, who was born in Estonia.
( PastorSauce : easy on the anchovies..., Wed 5 Nov 2003, 16:32, archived)

hmmmmmm
What about the Wrath of?
(Lord Turkey Boy the First The Real Turkey Boy, Thu 6 Nov 2003, 16:00, archived)

Isn't that on a bridge over the M1 or summat ?

( Hagbard - Mario Kart DS Code in profile, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:20, archived)

Yup
I've had the pleasure of driving past it quite a few times recently. Makes me laugh every time. Can't remember exactly where it is, though, apart from that it's somewhere between London and Leeds... does that help?
( wrightbyname - correct by nature, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 16:55, archived)

I always thought
it was on Brixton Bridge just by the underground back in the late eighties. At least I'm sure there was some big funny graffiti there. Anyone remember...?
( Jacksonville believes God created evolution in 7 days, Tue 4 Nov 2003, 12:36, archived)

Best graffitti I ever saw
was on Springfield Road police station in Belfast the day after the IRA ceasefire. It said "For Sale"
( mother inferior - now fully in compliance with the Trades Descriptions Act, being both a mother and inferior, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:16, archived)

on a vaguely similar note...
.. "Ireland for the Irish, Peckham for the Peckish" on a pub toilet door (not in Peckham though) made me smile.
(<foo>, Fri 7 Nov 2003, 9:42, archived)

Or
"Provo Land" in big letters sprayed on the side of the Brandywell with a big arrow pointing towards the Bogside in Derry.
(Saoirse, Sat 8 Nov 2003, 0:53, archived)

written on an overpass:
"what's gonna set you free?" this was there for years when someone decided to answer on the next overpass: "perhaps some chocolate chip cookies and milk?"
( Melba Toast, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:16, archived)

A great addition was made to a mural on the side of a church
where i live. It's a huge mural of jesus that is alongside a very busy highway. Underneath the hokey portrait of jesus, amidst the rainbows and flowers, it says "LOVE POWER". The letters are about two feet high. Someone had the brilliant idea to add the letter "I", so now it reads "I LOVE POWER" quite appropriate, i think.
(meowmeowkittymeow, Tue 4 Nov 2003, 21:44, archived)

"Free Kuwait"
was written on an overpass in London at the time of the Gulf War
and then somebody wrote below it
"with Tiger Tokens"
(trollbite, Thu 6 Nov 2003, 14:49, archived)

LMAO
i been a visitor of b3ta for a long time, i am always surprised that is more than one person with the same sense of humour as me.
(lucas_maximus, Sun 9 Nov 2003, 22:38, archived)

In St Ives (Cornwall not Cambridgeshire)
Someone had altered the sign saying "please do not feed the seagulls as they are becoming a nuisance" to "please do not feed the slags..."

not really graffiti but made me laugh.
( Reverend Dan Thank you, please > fbanimations.tumblr.com, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:16, archived)

Sheffield University chemistry department, early '90s:
The structure of a large (and plausible) organic molecule was written on the cubicle wall in marker pen, along with "can anyone tell me what the hell this is?".

Underneath, various students and staff had made suggestions. Serious ones.
(Astatine, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:17, archived)

It wasn't arsole, was it?
(see Molecules with Silly Names for more)
( Dr Almost, Wed 5 Nov 2003, 13:29, archived)

Some hilarious japer had replaced the words "an offence"
in "It is an offence to urinate on Metro property" to the words "a Joy".

Never a truer word...
( Zak McFlimby, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:17, archived)

On a desk in school
"Adolf Hitler european tour 1939 - 1945"
( HP SPEEDCORE!, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:18, archived)

yeh the 1939-1945 tour
that was there best to date
(Leroy_slade, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 15:38, archived)

You're all very young
I used to have the T-Shirt
Caused great offence in the summer of '80
(Cautioned by the plod and/or arrested on several occasions)
( The Mighty Gusset Has updated his profile, but only a little bit !, Wed 5 Nov 2003, 11:29, archived)

With
the England gig marked 'cancelled', as I remember.

Were you arrested by the style police?
(Bob Hopelessness, Mon 10 Nov 2003, 13:24, archived)

A few doors down
from my house there's a huge piece of hardwood in someone's driveway with an enormous cock drawn on it, just like the ones which often appear on this very site. I think it might have been Dr Dunno on his way home from the pub....

Also our local swimming pool had the 'l' removed from its sign, so for years it was 'Teddington Poo' - not really graffiti but made me laugh when I was a kiddie
(MrsA, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:19, archived)

Why would I
be going to your house?
( Dr.Dunno, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:22, archived)

For mashed potato & peas of course

(MrsA, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:25, archived)

mmmmmmm
peas.....
( Dr.Dunno, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:47, archived)

on a similar note
"SWIMMING POOL" -> "SWIM IN POO"

chuckle
( wingphil, Tue 4 Nov 2003, 10:55, archived)

our local pool was called
bishopsworth swimming pool - changed to bishops swim in poo. which is strange, because i thought they spent all their time molesting children. you learn something new...
(muler, Mon 10 Nov 2003, 13:51, archived)

removing letters is good
the signs on trains that say "please give up this seat if a disabled person needs it" can be easily changed to read "please eat a disabled person"
( snowpaul fight - DUCK! *splat*, Tue 4 Nov 2003, 15:18, archived)

and...
"tools and appliances are kept in the guards compartments for use in emergency" becomes "apples are kept in the guards pants for use in emergency" well, makes me laugh
( snowpaul fight - DUCK! *splat*, Tue 4 Nov 2003, 15:21, archived)

On a Train on the Piccadilly
Line, someone has taken the time to alter the "Obstructing The Doors Can Be Dangerous" to "Obstruct The Doors, Be Dangerous".

How long must they have sat there trying to work that one out?
( Beejay ...he's real, he's different...he's real different, Wed 5 Nov 2003, 11:42, archived)

Or on Manx Buses
"The director will press for the highest penalties against offenders" to "The director will press his penis against offenders"....
(el pedro, Wed 5 Nov 2003, 14:07, archived)

On a notice at uni
FIRE ALARMS WILL BE TESTED, to FIRE ARMS WILL BE TESTED
Alarming...
(Fi, Wed 5 Nov 2003, 14:16, archived)

On old Central Line Trains
From when there was a guard present on all trains, a sticker above the doors read "OBSTRUCTING THE DOORS CAUSES DELAY AND CAN BE DANGEROUS",

a guard had inserted the letter "y" and changed it to

"YOBS IN THE DOORS CAUSE DELAY AND CAN ANGER US"
(lochii, Thu 6 Nov 2003, 17:52, archived)

A small
village near where I live had a problem with people speeding through it, so someone added "twinned with Le Mans" under the village sign.
( bovine www.richardtingley.co.uk, visit or I kill you, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:20, archived)

i like that one!

( magoo, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:29, archived)

'False Tit' in huge letters outside Nottingham train station
'If the sheep could talk, what a story they would tell' - near Bristol Temple Meads station

Underneath the Now wash your hands sign in the gents in a pub in Bristol someone has written 'and your cheesy pants and tights'

I have no idea what any of these are on about.
( Dr. trouser, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:20, archived)

Ouch
Small village near Bristol called Cocklake. Local council now fed up with replacing the 'l' on all the approaching signs...
( pattwat, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 15:00, archived)

Pathead
just outside edinburgh often has its signs tampered with to read "Fathead"
( jeffcapeshop, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 19:24, archived)

Wait a minute...
Cocklake is funnier than Cock ake.
(A Wooden Leg Named Smith, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 23:35, archived)

er....
he's right you know...i do prefer cocklake
(monhwa, Wed 5 Nov 2003, 5:31, archived)

Another in Bristol...
When resident evil came out in the cinema, someone did a totally professional job modifying one of the posters hung a bit too low in the city centre.

Bush's head on one figure, Blair's on the other and an extra 'P'. It was so well done, I didn't notice it for a few weeks. Nearly crashed my car into it when I did...
( VeryGnawty, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 22:26, archived)

Now that is comedy
We need some photos people!!
(nospoon, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 22:56, archived)

haha
i was thinkin it said resident pevil for ages then.
(Jibbed, Tue 4 Nov 2003, 1:37, archived)

I saw a similar one
on Birmingham New Street, when all the green Railtrack signs were up saying "we're working on your station", one had been changed to say "we're wanking on your station". It was so well done that having to look twice was what made it funny.
(InTheStudio, Tue 4 Nov 2003, 9:55, archived)

Someone
has done that at the Odeon in Brighton. the poster for Love Actually now reads Hove Actually. Made me laugh.........maybe you have to come from Brighton to get that one....
( D3xt3r Don't take any guff from these fucking swine...., Sun 9 Nov 2003, 12:31, archived)

more common
"now please wash your hands" with the addition "in your piss"
( snowpaul fight - DUCK! *splat*, Tue 4 Nov 2003, 15:22, archived)

At architecture school someone used letraset to write
Bum and Willy on a cubicle in helvetica 12point.

In the same cubicle was: "I don't like vacuum cleaners, they suck" and the more obscure, "Leo Sayer, What a player"
( alistair, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:21, archived)

When I was
at art college in Cheltenham years ago, someone had written in huge letters above the urinal 'ART DIES, GOES MAD'.
I still have very little inclination as to what the faux-intellectual (probably) bearded cockbite that wrote it was on about.
(Surgeon_General, Fri 7 Nov 2003, 10:54, archived)

i have 2
1. ON train from london to birmingham, i saw graffiti saying "the velvet underpants"

2. Leighton buzzard train station. Someone had graffiti'd
"god is dead"
and someone added "sexy" to the end.
(snitchell, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:22, archived)

the velvet underpants
is a name of a band. I remember them from the early 90s. They had a song which went, "I lost my pants, I lost my pants in Vulvahampton. Don't talk to me, Don't talk to me, I'm as pissed as a cunt."
( rob You should follow me http://twitter.com/robmanuel, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:23, archived)

well i never...
still, "god is dead sexy" made me laugh
(snitchell, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:28, archived)

bingo jesus
famous round our parts - not exactly graffiti, but hey.


(frankit, Tue 4 Nov 2003, 11:07, archived)

yay
i pass that on the 86 bus route to Piccadilly.
(troznarf, Wed 5 Nov 2003, 11:48, archived)

YAY!!!!
I like Bingo Jesus. They gave me free tickets to their gig a few months ago.
(A Pregnant Dog, Wed 5 Nov 2003, 15:39, archived)

The other band that did a lot of grafiti was "Ken Dodd's Dad's Dog's Dead"

( alistair, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:40, archived)

years ago, just before an exam,
I saw someone had written the complete
lyrics to Shriekback's song "Nemesis"
on the inside of a cubicle door. I still
remember them to this day.
(haberman (it blasted him with its awareness), Mon 3 Nov 2003, 17:29, archived)

My favourite tune of theirs was
Dog Shit Vacuum Bikes.

"Here they come
Down the street
Dogshit Vacuum Bikes..."

For some reason I can't find that on Kazaa...
( amygdala, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 18:59, archived)

Saw them live a few times
The only songs I can remember are "Take Some Drugs" (main lyric "take some drugs") and Join The Police (main lyric "join the police" accompanied by member of the band attacking bemused audience members with an inflatable truncheon.)

My favourite piece for graffiti is in Leeds: "what's wrong with being sexy?" in two foot high letters all along a low wall.
(chegosaurus sucks at b3ta, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 20:27, archived)

Note:
They have pooper-scooper motorcycles in Spain to pick up doggy- shit. Neat.
(number 27-hunter, Tue 4 Nov 2003, 1:58, archived)

They've also
got them in Paris. I remember an impromptu lunch in the Sacre Cour being ruined by some Parisian council worker skidding to a halt in front of us and sucking up large piles of poodle mess whilst I tried to eat my baguette.
And he sneered at us as he sped off.
Cunt.
Funnily enough, the Parisian council also sluice (sp?) the streets at certain times of the day to wash all the crap and other detritus into the Seine. Nice eh?
(Surgeon_General, Fri 7 Nov 2003, 11:00, archived)

I believe...
...it was Hugh Reed and The Velvet Underpants.
( Mystery_Bob, Tue 4 Nov 2003, 7:19, archived)

Yep,
It's still there, even now. Only sometime in the last few years, someone has added a massive cock and bollocks sticking out the side of the Y-fronts that were alongside the words.

The cheeky scamp.
(v1ctory_1s_m1ne Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 14:24, archived)

I don't suppose it's really graffiti
but a village near my parents is called Libanus.

Someone taped a piece of blank paper over the 'Lib' bit.
( HP SPEEDCORE!, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:22, archived)

.
the sign for the river "uck" is often seen with an added F. The Council has made the sign as small as possible, but not small enough.
(noggin teh nog, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:25, archived)

When i was a kid
living in (shudder) Basildon there was a road nearby that the council had decided, in their infinite wisdom, to call "Puck Lane".

Apparently it is very very easy to remove the front part of the 'P' to make it look like an 'F'.
(Daveybaby, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 14:32, archived)

PAC MAN
was originally called puck man, and was changed for the same reason.

FACT
(shiftClick shifts it., Tue 4 Nov 2003, 12:31, archived)

I was under the impression that
Pac Man was so named after the japanese for 'eat', have I been wrong all my life?
(100%hummusfree, Tue 4 Nov 2003, 13:23, archived)

yes you have
the puck/fuck man thing is true
( snowpaul fight - DUCK! *splat*, Tue 4 Nov 2003, 15:29, archived)

A village down the road from me
was called cocklake. Guess the erased letter on the signposts.
(PacStar, Wed 5 Nov 2003, 0:32, archived)

surely
you dont even need to remove any letters...
(jamena, Wed 5 Nov 2003, 18:05, archived)

... cock ake ...
;)
( Lumpbucket says: Try Giddy 3! http://www.giddy3.co.uk, Thu 6 Nov 2003, 13:08, archived)

The sign on Canal Street, which is in the centre of the gay bit of Manchester,
regularly has the 'C' whited out.
( pxyzyzygy, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:27, archived)

unlurk
traditionally, so is the "s" in street.

relurk
( godstar, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 14:08, archived)

there's some town in ohio called "mianus"
and yes, it is pronounced "my anus"
(retro, Tue 4 Nov 2003, 3:48, archived)

I've always preferred
this place.

www.polkadotmittens.co.uk/names/graphics/twatt.jpg
( rhetoriq ADHD proficient., Tue 4 Nov 2003, 17:43, archived)

Wanker's Corner
It's a place in america I kid you not, I'll find the map one day.....
(Herr Dimitri For Truth, Justice and Fluffeh Tiem!, Tue 4 Nov 2003, 22:57, archived)

Not to mention
joeldcanfield.com/oakcreek/beavercreek.asp
( The Mighty Gusset Has updated his profile, but only a little bit !, Wed 5 Nov 2003, 11:39, archived)

ask and ye shall receive
www.parr.com/Stores/Portland_-_East_Side/Wankers_Corner/

I just love the bit about "come and enjoy our legendary service through teamwork.

And it's a lumber yard...got wood?

I think I just did a little wee
(th3ta, Wed 5 Nov 2003, 12:12, archived)

wankers
its a horrid redneck place. I had the misfortune to run out of gas in front of a bar there one night. *shudder*
not pretty.
mullets galore. and lots of pickup trucks.
(kayke, Sun 9 Nov 2003, 4:22, archived)

Muff
Is a plabne in Ireland, in County Donegal! And there's one in Sweden too! Most amusing. Wooden Bong in Australia too.
(Vamos!, Sat 8 Nov 2003, 23:28, archived)

The world famous village
of Twatt is about 15 miles from my parents house.

Oh how we laugh
(Frog-51 ..., Fri 7 Nov 2003, 18:17, archived)

Tame by comparison...
...but I serendipitously came across a place called Nasty a few years ago. We got out of the car and took a photo of ourselves pulling nasty faces under the sign.

Haven't got the photo, but here's the multimap link


This also gives me the idea of typing random rude words into the location bit to see what comes up - I'm off to try it now!
(Bob Hopelessness, Mon 10 Nov 2003, 13:38, archived)

Dunno if this counts, but.....
I mate of mine had a new stereo for his car and he got a little sign to place on the dashboard saying "In-car stereo removed",
He awoke one morning to find his driver side window smashed and the words "Just Checking" on the bottom of the sign.
( Kris Fucking Kristofferson rides the short bus, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:22, archived)

No way

( Banana, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:26, archived)

way

( Kris Fucking Kristofferson rides the short bus, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:26, archived)

no way

www.snopes.com/autos/theft/carthief.asp
( jeffcapeshop, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 19:26, archived)

hah
That is the best yet
( Agent Muu b3ta.com/board/9745928 <- b3taday festivities!, Tue 4 Nov 2003, 4:52, archived)

oh round where we used to skate when i was younger there were some arseholes who used to vandallise things
and also a grumpy security guard type who used to call the police... one time he saw these people write the words "fuck you" in permanent marker on the front doors of the building so he called the police and then came out to confront them. He grabbed the pen off one of the guys and hen scribble VANDALISM IS FOR CUNTS underneath where they'd been writing, at which point the police turned up and sw what he done and we got to watch while he squirmed.... ahh i love it when the world has a sense of humour
( lemony, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:23, archived)

temporary graffiti
some friends of mine and I managed to change a sign which read

"Country Property Agents"
in to
"Cunty ropey gents"

by the cunning positioning of hands and guitar necks.
(noggin teh nog, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:23, archived)

I used to live in a place called Shillinghill.

Regularly somone would cross the ll's to make Shittinghill.

Hillarious
(guinea, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:26, archived)

I used to live near failand
We would sometimes use black tape to make the signs read "Fatland".
( Lumpbucket says: Try Giddy 3! http://www.giddy3.co.uk, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:34, archived)

Not exactly on topic
But reminds me of the fact that I used to live in a place called Balsall Heath.

So called because there was nothing there.
(Wizlevard, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 19:26, archived)

The magnetic sign in reception at work
on occasion gets changed from PASSES MUST BE SHOWN to ASSES MUST BE SHOWN.

At one point we managed to find some more letters from other sentences on the sign and make "TITS ON TOAST"
( HP SPEEDCORE!, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:26, archived)

South Yorkshire Busses used to have signs reading..
Cut out the fuss, show your pass on this bus.

They were made of self-adhesive plasticy stuff, and were regularly modified to read:

Cut out the fuss, show your ass on this bus

Funny first time I saw it. I was well caned though.
(Gypsum Fantastic, Tue 4 Nov 2003, 12:49, archived)

Me and a mate went into Halfords
with a load of white sticky labels with the word 'toast' written on them. We went to find the 'baby on board' signs. We stuck the stickers on over the word 'board'.

I guess you had to be there...
(The Squirrels in the graveyard steal my drugs and swear at me!, Wed 5 Nov 2003, 15:47, archived)

Somebody once changed the sign on a school near me
to Queer School.

Not really graffiti but driving to Hinkley I passed a roundabout. One the exits was labelled 'Willey' and happened to be located in a comedy place.
( Mr Peet the Pastafarian, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 14:03, archived)

I've seen
'beware limbo dancers' on the bottom of toilet cubicle doors a few times. Very old - but probably the best graffiti ever.
(8-Ball, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:24, archived)

my personal fave
on the back of a dirty white van

"I wish my wife was as dirty as this"
(noggin teh nog, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:28, archived)

on a dirty police prisoner transort van,
my bird saw "Gary Glitter On Tour" drawn in the dirt.
(snitchell, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:32, archived)

:)

( magoo, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:41, archived)

Outside Leicester Crown Court
On a prison wagon, "A con is for life, not just for christmas"
( fineart, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 17:13, archived)

to which is replied
'She is'
( Thor_sonofodin https://twitter.com/Thor_sonofodin, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:32, archived)

I love as I have done for ever
Be alert - the world needs more lerts
( Pootle where's his tart on his sleve?, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:50, archived)

Usually followed by:
"No, be aloof, there's too many Lerts around"

then

"No. Be alert, there's safety in numbers"
(100%hummusfree, Tue 4 Nov 2003, 13:28, archived)

On the back of
a recently washed gleaming white transit, in black marker pen : "Also available in dirty grey".
(Daveybaby, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 14:37, archived)

just after gulf war 1
i saw a van with "iragi prisoners in transit" written in the grime on the back
(funkenstein Born from an egg on a mountain top, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 16:15, archived)

once written along the side of my dad's car:
fitted with anti-glare paint
(Fille, Sat 8 Nov 2003, 14:16, archived)

Dirty white car.
Also in kidlington there was inscripted in the dirt on a white car for sale,"also avalable on white"!

Not the best but quite good!
(punkman03, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 16:52, archived)

Well
i never.
( 100% Cock I believe that Gorgonzola is the best cheese., Tue 4 Nov 2003, 10:48, archived)

She Is!
no.. really
(tom the astronaut, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 19:21, archived)

Again on the back of a van
"Well driven? Must be stolen"
(dirtyhippy, Tue 4 Nov 2003, 9:24, archived)

your username is appropriate
theres a vw microbus down the road from my house and on the back is written, i beat up four hippies and all i got was this lousy bus.
( snowpaul fight - DUCK! *splat*, Tue 4 Nov 2003, 15:36, archived)

i've seen....
"I wish my wife
was this dirty"

To which some lag had added
's sister
to the top line.
( fishsticks, Wed 5 Nov 2003, 10:51, archived)

Can't remember where it was
but I passed a grubby old white van and somebody had quite carefully sketched a naked lady into the dust. Practically a work of art (but with big knockers!).
( monster munch probably your elder, almost certainly your better, Thu 6 Nov 2003, 10:08, archived)

always liked the old
"stephen hawking washed my van' line ...
( coco, Wed 5 Nov 2003, 17:13, archived)

I saw this in Chicago in the 80s:
On the back of a dirty van was scrawled "Drive Like an Egyptian," which was amusing until I thought about it.
(ChiTown Guy Dating when 35+: sane, single, attractive - pick 2, Thu 6 Nov 2003, 0:25, archived)

Also on a van....
Spotted on my way to work one cold, miserable morning....
"D & J Evans
Plumbing & Heating Engineers,
We do exactly what it says on the van."

To which some genius had added...

"Drink tea and eat biscuits"

absolutely classic, my thanks to the author, still makes me laugh.
(jr_jayr, Fri 7 Nov 2003, 15:04, archived)

Somewhere in Crouch End
"Jesus Saves" to which someone had added " but Satan gives good head".

Oh, and a longstanding one in Cambridge is the lamppost in the middle of Parker's Piece (for those who don't know, it's a huge area of open space in the centre of the town) which has "Reality Checkpoint" painted in neat letters on its base. For a while there was even a nice brass plaque until it got nicked.
( chthonic, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:28, archived)

On the way to a beach party
down the Gower, underneath a large sign claiming Jesus is Lord, some funny fucker had added the word VADER! Is it true?
( DumbMonkey The penis mightier than the sword, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 20:36, archived)

Similar sign...
On the A69 from Newcastle to Carlisle there is (or was) a sign saying "Jesus Saves" by the side of the road. A little further on someone had placed another: "But Gazza scores on the rebound".
(natto, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 21:53, archived)

more blashempy
The classic church sign "Jesus Saves"
was always paired with the follow up "But Beckham scores with the rebound"

(insert football player as appropriate)

again not grafitti but my dad was confused at a news board advertising the local paper which told "Astley mental patients like cabbages"....he thought to himself...i like veg too but is that news?
( pobx, Tue 4 Nov 2003, 12:35, archived)

I saw
one that said "Jedi Knight Man-Insane!"
No shit Sherlock.......
( D3xt3r Don't take any guff from these fucking swine...., Sun 9 Nov 2003, 14:02, archived)

On the ceiling above the urinals in a pub loo that you could only see if you looked up:
'You're pissing on your shoes'
(mrfalafel, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:28, archived)

Similar
Why Look Up Here When The Jokes in Your Hand
(Adaminho, Tue 4 Nov 2003, 10:32, archived)

ha!
hahahahahahahhhhaaahahhahaha, ahem
( snowpaul fight - DUCK! *splat*, Tue 4 Nov 2003, 15:38, archived)

Saw
'Satan shat here' scrawled on the inside of a cubicle door in blood, vomit and shit...

down my local.
(Pouched_species, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:29, archived)

You live in
Hull then?
( Kris Fucking Kristofferson rides the short bus, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:30, archived)

gosh!

( corington, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:30, archived)

Sign saying "Plesae Mind Your Head"
on a train had been tippexed to say "Fleas in your head"
and faded graffiti in Bedford still saying "Roxy Music" and "The Clash"
( corington, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:30, archived)

Bit of a trick, that is.
Saying as the word plesae is nothing like the word fleas.

/Uncunt.
(A Wooden Leg Named Smith, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 23:42, archived)

In pub loo way down behind the toilet you could only see if you were on your knees puking into it:
"An hour of nausea is a victory over death"
(mrfalafel, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:31, archived)

my all time favorite graffiti:
1) In huge letters in the women's room of a local punk venue "I'm not leavin' here til I catch a marlin"

2) Spraypainted on the side of the highway: "you need slacks"

3) a local tagger in my city writes "lick nuts". it's all over the city and it always makes me giggle.
(meowmeowkittymeow, Tue 4 Nov 2003, 21:59, archived)

I can't remeber the source,
or indeed the exact wording...so..um..this could be completely inaccurate, but it was something like:

Shakespeare, 1554-1616: "To be, or not to be"
Sartre, 1905-1980: "To do is to be"
Sinatra, 1916-1998: "Do be do be do"
(BeAst - did it wrong on:, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:33, archived)

.
that's from the start of subway, luc besson.
(geckofun, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 21:26, archived)

Is it?
Someone had copied it onto a bog wall in Bradford then. The scamps.
(BeAst - did it wrong on:, Fri 7 Nov 2003, 16:43, archived)

before i went to university
i went along to hear a lecture about what it would be like
i sat at a desk on which someone had lovingly carved:
"hand in hand
hand in gland
gland in gland"

i took it as a portent
( magoo, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:35, archived)

so
did you get any?
(noggin teh nog, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:36, archived)

once
by accident (it was dark)
( magoo, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:37, archived)

good.
I'm glad. Never got any at Uni, fell in love, stalked her, never got a shag. Still wood five years later (and it aches like shit).
(noggin teh nog, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:42, archived)

Fucking hell
youre not me, are you?
(Daveybaby, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 14:39, archived)

Danish writer/humorist Soya in the 50s/60s
wrote a poem (or copied it?) called "A love poem":

Hand in hand
hand in it
it in hand
hand in hand.

I usually write/recite that whenever people bug me for poetry.
(Carthag, Tue 4 Nov 2003, 10:46, archived)

naughty but funny one....
again - on a toilet door, in my local public house, someone had written

"imigrants go home"

which was pretty nasty, but you had to laugh at the second part which someone had added

"and stop eating our swans"

genius.
(JBoom, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:35, archived)

haha
That's one of the best
(Ellis, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:38, archived)

perfect!

( magoo, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:39, archived)

Arf!
Arf!
( splorp ®, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:40, archived)

there used to be
'pakis go back to africa' near my school

genius or fucknut? who can say
(psausage76, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 14:16, archived)

On a bridge in Poplar
there was/is the phrase "Packey Cunts" which just shows you the level of education you get round there.
(Lambkin, Wed 5 Nov 2003, 13:03, archived)

another pub,
NF scratched in the wall,
someone had added
love the gay skinhead look boys
(pesh, Tue 4 Nov 2003, 5:14, archived)

in a toilet
somewhere...

Sometimes i come to sit and think
but mostly just to shit and stink
( Thor_sonofodin https://twitter.com/Thor_sonofodin, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:37, archived)

It's all over the place:
Some come here to sit and think
some come here to shit and stink
some come here to scratch their balls
and read the writing on the walls
( sick_boy, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:50, archived)

When I was in college people kept on adding to that in a sort of rhyme duel
Only the next two after that spring immediately to mind:

You've got a very good point,
But I only come here to roll a joint.

And further more I'd like to add,
A line of coke aint half bad
(KingMong, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 17:19, archived)

Sign saying 'Sheep Dog Trials'
graffitti underneath saying 'He's innocent'
( Dai_Marzipan Ain't no party like an S Club party, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:41, archived)

'Bill Stickers is Innocent'

( Thor_sonofodin https://twitter.com/Thor_sonofodin, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:42, archived)

ah, same
but Bill Posters round these parts.
(~Sunny~, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 18:04, archived)

Sign on Smith St, Fitzroy
My father used to see this everyday on his way to work, and he took a photo one day, pity I lost it. A badly painted sign reading:



"Bill Posters Will Be Prostituted"

Knowing the area, I can't help but feel that wasn't a mistake...
(Niktau, Fri 7 Nov 2003, 6:18, archived)

Similar

Longnor Sheep Dog Trials, word Dog replaced by Shagging. Often wondered who turned up!
(DrinkatMoes, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:56, archived)

more justice
there used to be a great literary masterpiece on my way into work

JIM + PAD IS NOT GUILTY

I often thought to myself "i bet they isn't!"
( pobx, Tue 4 Nov 2003, 12:41, archived)

woo

( Obz Click, ting, stamps, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:42, archived)

hahahahaha
that fucking cheese eating bastard!
( Lumpbucket says: Try Giddy 3! http://www.giddy3.co.uk, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:48, archived)

i remember nigel

( magoo, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 14:07, archived)

hehehe...
Laughing in the middle of your boss talking is NOT good...you bugger.
( rhetoriq ADHD proficient., Mon 3 Nov 2003, 17:26, archived)

"Itsa Newport Ting" amused me so much it made me spirt my crisps...
...over the seat infront, on the train to Cardiff once. Maybe I imagined it! Newport has it's own gangstas?
( darth munki is crushing a grape, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:42, archived)

on the M4 into london,
on the LONDON sign, someone has added 'ting

it's been there years :)
( spiny is content., Mon 3 Nov 2003, 20:08, archived)

being anal
doesn't it say London (Thing) 44

between jn 13 and 12 ....
( the mighty badger like a diabetic dog in a bath full of sugar, Tue 4 Nov 2003, 10:25, archived)

Shops around here
Sell cans of Ting.
It's a Jamaican fizzy pop drink - a bit like Lilt.
As Bob Marley once said
"Every can of Ting
Gonna be alright"
( The Mighty Gusset Has updated his profile, but only a little bit !, Wed 5 Nov 2003, 11:48, archived)

Ting
It's carbonated grapefruit jiuce from St. Kitts (West Indies).
(anotheradam, Thu 6 Nov 2003, 2:59, archived)

I stand corrected
Well, sit actually.
I wasn't far off !
( The Mighty Gusset Has updated his profile, but only a little bit !, Thu 6 Nov 2003, 9:54, archived)

Me and my sis
changed our local village sign from Please Drive Slowly to Please Die Slowly. Mainly cos most of the village are cunts.
(jonnies, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:43, archived)

I just remembered an old one
it was under a slide in a park i used to play in.

"IF YOU READ THIS YOU ARE GAY!!"

class
(snitchell, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:43, archived)

graffiti stuff
heh. I wrote that once on a blackboard in a bog, in a pub in Cambridge(Champion of the Thames). I went back for a slash about an hour later and someone had written a paragraph about why they weren't gay.
(thrain, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:48, archived)

when we first saw the graffiti
my friend claimed he wasn't gay because he didn't read it.
we asked what he didn't read, and he said he hadn't read the graffiti saying "if you read this you are gay"

CATCH 22
(snitchell, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:51, archived)

a blackboard
in a bog?
(Jibbed, Tue 4 Nov 2003, 1:57, archived)

yeah
for writing graffiti on so you don't do it on the walls
( NomDePlume fo shizzle my nizzle old bean, Wed 5 Nov 2003, 2:43, archived)

They've
got one of those in the Gloucester Arms in Oxford just off the the Gloucester Green.
Prolly the only rock pub in all of Oxford, a real shithole but a great place to go and laugh at the goths. Miserable bastards.
For some reason or other I always end up getting leathered there when I visit the dreaming spires...
(Surgeon_General, Fri 7 Nov 2003, 11:21, archived)

Gay
If you're gay
(Anak, Thu 6 Nov 2003, 23:08, archived)

on a train, you get them signs that say
"Please give up this seat for a disabled person"

Someone has scribbled out certain words and letters so it actually read

"Please eat a disabled person"
(JBoom, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:43, archived)

Yes yes yes!!!
I saw something very similar on a bus about 15 years ago - "Please eat the elderly and disabled."
Still makes me smile now...
(Sleary, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:49, archived)

I worked in ASDA a long time ago...
...and someone had changed the signs saying 'please do not smoke at this table' to 'please do not eat this table'.
( sick_boy, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:52, archived)

there was the classic tube one too...
'Obstruct the doors and be dangerous'
( ExactlyHowLongDoIHaveToBeHere, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 16:50, archived)

variation on a theme
or "obstructing the doors can anger us" .. think it was on the picadilly line
( the mighty badger like a diabetic dog in a bath full of sugar, Tue 4 Nov 2003, 10:27, archived)

i saw
that one too, but some one had scribbled "GAURDS" on the end of it
( The Ginja Ninja, Tue 4 Nov 2003, 16:53, archived)

its that time again...
my dear god sir, i've seen this too
(pissycocks GIRAFFETASTIC!, Tue 4 Nov 2003, 19:57, archived)

similar
Trains in Sydney:

At night, please travel near the guard's carriage, marked with a blue light.

changed to

At night, rave near the guard's carriage with a blue light.
(mxxx, Wed 5 Nov 2003, 1:13, archived)

Isn't it
At night rave near the guard's compartment naked with a blue light?
(Funt, Wed 5 Nov 2003, 5:14, archived)

On a condom machine
in a pub in Winchester was lovingly inscribed:

'Insert baby for refund'
( doctordoctor hasn't annoyed a left-wing liberal since, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:46, archived)

On a broken condom machine in a pub
the landlord had put a sign on it "Out of order - please use withdrawal method"

Made me laugh.
( Farmfoodsman, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 14:22, archived)

On a different condom machine...
...in a different pub, I've seen written "don't buy this chewing gum, it tastes terrible".
(Illon Gruci, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 14:28, archived)

with thew obligatory reply;
'oh, but what bubbles ... '
( spiny is content., Mon 3 Nov 2003, 20:10, archived)

How about
"Homes for retired Semen. Please give generously."
( L-Space - scientia sapientes vocat., Tue 4 Nov 2003, 12:46, archived)

or
25¢ for recaps...
( Syncubus Yarr! Ye'll be walking Planck's Constant! [GMT-5], Tue 4 Nov 2003, 16:34, archived)

I think you'll like this one!
On old Merseytravel buses in Wirral and Liverpool there used to be a sticker on the windows similar to those seen on trains, warning against criminal activities/vandalism on public transport.

It read :

THE MANAGEMENT WILL PRESS FOR HEAVIEST PENALTIES AGAINST OFFENDERS

someone must have been playing around one day and discovered that this was NOT the best way to word such a sign...

As from then on people took great joy in scratching off some of the letters so that it was left reading...


(nutty_nut_nuts, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:48, archived)

hahahaahahahahahahahah
*breathes*

hhahahahahaahahahahahha
( Herr Tezcat, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 14:39, archived)

delurking just to say...
yes! I remember those signs, have been trying to remember the exact wording all afternoon. Them were't days.
(juicer, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 15:55, archived)

hahaha
kids eh
(Jibbed, Tue 4 Nov 2003, 2:01, archived)

Not as good as the above, possibly.
In Cambridge, Bateman Street has had a letter scribbled over for years, making it the hilarious "Batman Street".

But the best I ever saw was in the gents in the Natural Sciences building at Swansea University (out of the library, turn right opposite the biology office and past the first year biology notice board, toilets on your right - I think it was the far cubicle, but this is a while back).

Someone had written in big letters "KENT IS A SAD CUNT". There was a lot of space, so someone else - probably a geographer - had added the odd letter here and there to make it "KENT IS A SAnDy CoUNTy" (apologies for the dodgy capitals, there, it's the best representation of what I actually saw).
(Fat Bear is adjusting your breasts on, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:49, archived)

There is actually a Batman Avenue in Melbourne
and a Batman Hotel nearby!
100% FACT
(son of crazymum, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 14:04, archived)

In Turkey ..
.. there is a city named Batman. Always made me giggle.
(I was penalized for that, Thu 6 Nov 2003, 8:29, archived)

This could be...
Because Melbourne was first founded by John Batman.

Being a big fan of the comics, I find this very amusing! Considering before Melbourne, we were going to be called Batmania! HAHAHA
(Niktau, Mon 10 Nov 2003, 9:15, archived)

I sprayed this all round brighton when bored once...

(son of crazymum, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:49, archived)

i also put up this poster on the main trainline in melbourne
to whore my site
(son of crazymum, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:57, archived)

so,
it was you. i saw it at the seven dials and almost fell off my bike!
( calihal, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 15:17, archived)

I
think you should do it again. Make sure you get Churchill Square, as I want to see that when I wake up.
( vulga nie jestem Polakiem, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 23:13, archived)

I saw
one of those Joey Deacon things up by the Dials only the other day. Made me chuckle.
( D3xt3r Don't take any guff from these fucking swine...., Sun 9 Nov 2003, 14:33, archived)

On a garage door in Acton
"Fuck you mum" must be fun round their house at christmas
( alistair, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:50, archived)

In a local graveyard...
...someone had scrawlled 'I am dead' on a gravestone.

hehe
(dirtbox, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:50, archived)

Also from Oxford -
In my student days, in huge white letters on a wall near New College:

"ANARCY NOW"

I always wondered whether the spelling was deliberate.
( Cassidy : Vissi d'arte, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:50, archived)

i read somewhere
someone wrote Romanes eunt domus underneath a statue of some roman guy

woo python 4real
(iceblade, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:58, archived)

I heard about that
That was in Bath or Gloucester I think. Prolly Bath, the level of education in Gloucester is somewhat *ahem* lacking.
(Surgeon_General, Fri 7 Nov 2003, 11:26, archived)

( Pootle where's his tart on his sleve?, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:55, archived)

theres a free ian brown
on dickenson road in manchester. also on plat lane somebody has scrawled on a shutter

"2 burk u losis"
( parsley, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:56, archived)

i went to africa
and there was some giraffiti
( Sunshine Elephant, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 14:01, archived)

i once saw this on a lesbian
anti-pornography poster in edinburgh



"tits oot - lesbo hunk"
note that the 'artist' has also drawn the tits in.
( magoo, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 14:03, archived)

Inspired from a bit of graffiti

/pearoast
( Hotdog, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 14:03, archived)

Bus stop in Loughborough:
Osama is a minger
(jokeface_killah, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 14:05, archived)

I saw one at a bus stop similar to that
"Osama has no penus"

I am still bemused as to what a penus is
( Queen of Cheesecake, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 18:32, archived)

It's
an ancient Roman writing implement.
( 100% Cock I believe that Gorgonzola is the best cheese., Tue 4 Nov 2003, 11:01, archived)

my favourite graffiti
was on a fence next to the park in my home town. somebody had scrawled on the fence with a biro 'Graffiti or Art?'. what a twat.

i also liked Dogpool Lane in Birmingham being changed to Dogpoo Lane, and Prawn Cocktail on a pub chalkboard menu being changed to read 'raw Cock'
( Spoon, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 14:07, archived)

Dog Poo Lane
Every morning I drive down Dog Pool lane and every morning it rasies a smile.
(hanuman, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 20:16, archived)

I always found it quite amusing
that a street sign for canal street in Manchester (also known as the gay village) had been changed to anal treet
(bullitt, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 14:08, archived)

.
i've seen a 'please eat the elderly and disabled' on trains as well
at my secondary school years ago there was a cantene with a menu thing on the walls, and because it was made decades previously one of the options was 'cold sweet' which changed quickly to 'old wee'
it probably still says it even now
(John Doe, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 14:14, archived)

not quite the same but
whoever wrote the menu for our school canteen obviously didn't check what they had written. We had a 'mourning break'.
(sanity challenged, Tue 4 Nov 2003, 20:03, archived)

i was about to write that!
ahh.. the fun
( Naive Amoeba Hardly ever goes on this site anymore., Mon 3 Nov 2003, 16:13, archived)

I think the best for me has to be
in the edward boyle library lift at Leeds uni

"Jesus Loves YOU"
and underneath
"But everyone else thinks youre a cunt".
( discostu RELEASE THE CHEESE!, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 14:14, archived)

one in the 4th floor gents
of University of Manchester Chemistry department..(brace yourself)

Potassium Ethoxide rules C2H5OK

Makes me shiver everytime i see it... bwuuuuhhuhhu
(northern seth back is giving him jip again, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 14:15, archived)

Probably somewhere in every Chem dept in the country.
I can vouch for Sussex Uni. It used to be in the lift.

A couple I've seen recently:

'Sorry for the Inconvinience'[sic] sign by an NCP carpark in Brighton with it's spelling corrected and a note saying 'see me after school'. And a note in the girls toilets at the Concord club - 'Lick here if you want to live for ever X'.
( cupboardy, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 15:32, archived)

Ooh, I've seen that NCP sign I have, it's not far from the station
(ex-rat, Tue 4 Nov 2003, 0:08, archived)

In the medical school
at Newcastle Uni, someone's graffitied one of the men's toilets with an offer for gay sex, ending with the promise
"I'm nine inches long and two inches thick."

Underneath, someone's written
"Are you a ferret?"
( Flapjack the halls with boughs of holly Fala-lala-laa Lala La Laa, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 14:17, archived)

Crabs
In the Engineering building at UCL some of the toilets have quite high ceilings - in one of the blokes traps there were arrows going up the wall to next to the cistern where there was some writing - but it was so small that - here's the genius - you had to stand on the toilet bowl to read it. And it said "No use standing there mate - the crabs in here can jump 10 feet"
( the mighty badger like a diabetic dog in a bath full of sugar, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 14:24, archived)

In some engineering office toilets
Someone had taken a sign from the workshop and stuck in on the back of the cubicle door, saying
"All objects over two pounds must be lowered by hand"
( Flapjack the halls with boughs of holly Fala-lala-laa Lala La Laa, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 14:49, archived)

Now that I like - consider yourself saluted ;)
Nowhere near as good - but in my PhD years there were 5 of us in a house in bounds green - much sign stealage - including the following: on the toilet door "haringay council - no dumping £2000 fine" on the wall inside the bog "haringay council - no ball games" and on the wall in the upstairs bog "Thames water - no swimming" ... we were easy to amuse back then...
( the mighty badger like a diabetic dog in a bath full of sugar, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 15:15, archived)

On my bedroom door
I have a sign stolen from the post room of a certain Govt Department saying "Bomb Area. Do Not Enter"

Some friends at university lived in a house where there were 4 or 5 blokes an done girl. They went to France once and while there they stole a direction sign for a town. They took it home and put it on the wall of the hallway pointing towards the girl's room. The town?

Brest.
(Lambkin, Wed 5 Nov 2003, 13:26, archived)

at my mum's old work
they had a lot of immigrant workers from countries where the lavatory arrangements are different - the ladies would stand on the toilet and squat when they went, and it was common to find dirty shoe-prints on the seats.
So someone did some signs and stuck them up - "no use standing on the seat, the crabs in here can jump ten feet".

Has the added bonus of rhyme. Management took the signs down though, lest anyone got offended.
(myngemold, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 18:38, archived)

Crabs revisited
If memory serves me right, this is an old bit of graffiti from WW2...

It's no use standing on the seat
the crabs in here can jump 10 feet.
If you think that's fucking high
go next door, the bastards fly
Swinging off chains and such resources
is laughed at by their airbourne forces
That's why it gives me reason, a cunning wrangle
to give my bollocks room to dangle.

Something along those lines anyhoo. Check out the 'Graffiti' series of books by Nigel Rees for more. Pure genius some of the stuff in there.
(Jackanory, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 18:49, archived)

Crabby crab crabba
I saw a similar one whilst shitting in a youth hostel in Australia.

"Don't bother trying to wipe the seat
A healthy crab can jump three feet."

a bit worrying if you're already sitting.
(kookoobirdz, Thu 6 Nov 2003, 16:25, archived)

Two really
Once, when driving along the motorway through Lyon (France) in a traffic jam, I saw this plastered on a noise reduction barrier:

"Algeria Francaise" - which was crossed out and replaced by:
"Algeria Algerienne" - which was crossed out and replaced by:
"Algeria Francaise" - which was crossed out and replaced by:
"Algeria Algerienne" - which was crossed out and replaced by:
"Algeria Francaise" - which was crossed out and replaced by:
"Algeria Algerienne" - which was crossed out and replaced by:
"Why can't you bloody frogs make up you bloody minds?"
( groovegenerator The man who mistook his wife for his wife, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 14:17, archived)

The other was on a train at Lime Street
The locomotive had a name plate: - it was called "Robert Burns"

to which some wag had added, "very easily"
( groovegenerator The man who mistook his wife for his wife, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 14:19, archived)

At university
in the AI department bogs, was this predicate calculus statement:



This translates as - "For all x and y, where x is a dalek and y is not a dalek, x exterminates y"

After 48 hours in the lab, stuff like that became funny.

/geek
( UncleLewy, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 14:19, archived)

lovely predicate calculus
that and lambda calculus were the bane of my life.
( jonas is not my name, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 15:17, archived)

Banksy stuff,..
I particularly like Banksy's zoo stuff, "Laugh now, but one day we'll be in charge" and "I'm bored with fish" on the walls of the penguin enclosure in Regents Park.

BUT then I looked at his site and noticed the best graffiti ever, someone had scrawled on the wall outside his recent show "Banksy is a fucking Sell Out" ,..
(HoTWire, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 14:20, archived)

I've seen that...
...'laugh now...' one in Manchester with a monkey above it.

On Oldham Street
( meathelmet, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 16:51, archived)

Not really graffitti but....
first week in august I was in pateley bridge with the missus (small town in north yorkshire... Pateley bridge, not the missus)
Anyway someone had altered the cricket club fixture to
Shitey Bridge
vs
Chimps
Match Sponsors
Twat

If I can find the picture, will post as an edit. Still makes me laugh...
(northern seth back is giving him jip again, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 14:21, archived)

when I lived in Waterford,
a load of Romanians came over (mostly kid for the summer, and some immigrants) and someone had sprayed on a wall:

"Romeans go home"

well, it made me chuckle
( Reckless_Rik, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 14:24, archived)

oh, and on the way through Dublin
someone had sprayed "Tallaght is gay" - nice to see an entire city engaged in "that sort of thing"
( Reckless_Rik, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 14:26, archived)

On the back of a toilet door in Totnes,
a drawing of a stamped envelope with the name and address
"Mary Lykes,
The Cockwell Inn,
Tillit,
Herts"
( pxyzyzygy, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 14:27, archived)

There's a place called Maching Tye
in Hertfordshire.
(Seebeedee, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 14:40, archived)

its called Matching Tye
and its in Essex
( Spoon, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 14:52, archived)

Maybe there's two...
;-)
(Seebeedee, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 14:56, archived)

and it's
very nice I might add, along with Matching Green, which is also pretty
(39811 basic bytes free, Tue 4 Nov 2003, 13:47, archived)

that's my
standard answer to...Jamaica?
(Murun Buchstansangur's hairpiece, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 15:43, archived)

Uri Gellar is a Bender
- posted in the right place now!
(cowkicker, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 14:28, archived)

It still makes me laugh
but for years, on the back wall of our local firestation in Billesley, Birmingham, in massive letters, someone had written "Louise is a pin-hole". It must have been there for about 10 years before they finally cleared it off. Everytime I went past in the car with my Mum and Dad, they'd wonder why I'd start piss myself laughing. I never had the bottle to tell them why. Juvenile, but still amusing.
(v1ctory_1s_m1ne Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 14:34, archived)

The simplicity is endearing
Toilet wall:

"You smell"
followed by
"Sorry!"
(rymix, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 14:34, archived)

It used to say
"Wolverhampton Boys Rule"

On the bridge before Wolverhampton station (going northbound)

Always used to make me chuckle...
( bloid ....dloibbloiddloibbloid...., Mon 3 Nov 2003, 14:34, archived)

"Owslha watch out! Spotty bum's gonna get ya!"
...On a wall next to McDonald's in Waltham Cross.
(Seebeedee, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 14:37, archived)

And in a restaurant toilet wall:
"You're food makes me (sic)"

cheenius
(rymix, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 14:37, archived)

In Bristol
In a wall in Bristol, I saw 'E. Doust is an ugly MP bitch' - who is E. Doust? What is an ugly MP bitch?
(Wax cat, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 14:43, archived)

Written on the dirt
of a white van.

"My other car is just as shit" (Soure White Van, M40 outside of Birmingham)
( Razor What the fuck - a sig?, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 14:40, archived)

The most satisying graffiti I ever saw
was on the shutters of a video shop in Liverpool. It said
You Fat Cunt Weve Got Youre Batman Video Ha Ha Ha.

And there is a small alleyway in Hemel Hempstead called Fishery Passage. Which regularly gets four-letter alternatives graffitied over it.
( Flapjack the halls with boughs of holly Fala-lala-laa Lala La Laa, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 14:41, archived)

some near my house that quite simply, and for no apparent reason just says
PORNO
( huggybear, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 14:43, archived)

On a cubicle door in Glasgow Uni:
"Nietzsche says God is dead."

Written underneath:

"God says Nietzsche is dead."
(Seebeedee, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 14:44, archived)

i think the original is
"God is dead" Nietzsche
"Nietzsche is dead" God

it's a good one either way :)
( magoo, Tue 4 Nov 2003, 13:57, archived)

usually followed by
"Nietzsche is God" - the dead
( Legionary - My god, Brian, there's a message in my alphabets, Tue 4 Nov 2003, 15:47, archived)

Late 70's in Portsmouth..
The was a large wall with the slogan:

"TORIES ARE BEST"

Written in three feet high letters, it stood there for years until one day when some clever sod changed it to:

"TORIES ARE BESTIAL"

Which made me laugh like a drain...
( Darryn.R www.themoononline.com, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 14:45, archived)

"I'm pink, therefore I'm spam"

( Herr Tezcat, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 14:46, archived)

Inspired by Ray Winstone
A bridge over a river near me has written on it:

"you're fat and i'll throw you in the river"
(rymix, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 14:50, archived)

Hmm... Interesting...
Some grafitti near my hotel when i was in Minnesota, in the US, was on a JobDig post ( these signs with papers listing jobs on them, and was a really good help, got you jobs ANYWHERE, has a sign saying " Woo Yay." in permanent marker. It made me literally laugh till i scared the guy I was on a date with, Methinks we have a Minnesotan poster/lurker.
(number 27-hunter, Tue 4 Nov 2003, 2:18, archived)

Taking a shortcut near the Mile End Road
I used to come over a canal bridge. One morning I crested this bridge to be confronted by the words "SMASH THE TATE" painted on a wall opposite.
"Someone really doesn't like modern art." I thought to myself.
It was only as the perspective changed did the "S" in front of "TATE" appear from behind a lamppost...
( Rooster, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 14:51, archived)

In a toilet at high school
"Jesus Saves"
"Allah Invests"
"Buddha Pays Dividends"

also in a toilet at uni
www.ratemypoo.com
It's appropriate.
(kupsta, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 14:52, archived)

I heard
Jesus Saves
Allah Forgives
Chthulu thinks you'd make a nice meal.
(notcarlos, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 16:54, archived)

cthulhu saves...
... in case he's hungry later

(or s/cthulhu/yog sothoth/ if you prefer...)
(haberman (it blasted him with its awareness), Mon 3 Nov 2003, 17:04, archived)

also
Moses scores on the rebound
( spiny is content., Mon 3 Nov 2003, 20:16, archived)

Jesus Saves
But the Mongol Hordes.
( Flapjack the halls with boughs of holly Fala-lala-laa Lala La Laa, Tue 4 Nov 2003, 8:32, archived)

Along a similar theme.....
"Jesus Saves"
to which had been added
"Green Shield Stamps."
followed by
"He is a redeemer."
(chimpos, Wed 5 Nov 2003, 15:57, archived)

jesus saves
and also
Jesus saves
Moses scores from the rebound
(discobunny, Mon 10 Nov 2003, 1:31, archived)

A mates just reminded me of some
we saw on a stagecoach bus in sunny Manc

Anyone who reads this is gay and fucked up

and

Bin Laden is a Twat

There is no words to describe the occassionally genius of the becapped manc scally
(northern seth back is giving him jip again, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 14:54, archived)

I remember once...
Again, during my college days.
Somebody wrote 'I love young men' on the toilet door.
Someone else had added 'So do I.'
A third had changed So do I to SodoMi.
(CerberaSpeedTwelve, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 15:04, archived)

In the dirt on the back of a transit....
Dirty.... but not as dirty as the video I've got of your mum.
(monkeyinasuit, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 14:58, archived)

Also in transit dirt
'I wish my wife was as dirty as this'
( Hotdog, Tue 4 Nov 2003, 13:11, archived)

www.boners.com/content/789945.1.jpg
( Syncubus Yarr! Ye'll be walking Planck's Constant! [GMT-5], Tue 4 Nov 2003, 18:38, archived)

If been looking out for a van with this on for ages.........
.....so I can write "She is, mate" underneath....
(Just Some Guy from Hull, Mon 10 Nov 2003, 12:04, archived)

Semi-Relevent
On one of the newspapers (I think it was the express), they had the title

"TORYS HIT"...

But the spacing looked odd, it looked more like "T O R Y S H I T"
( Dance, Gonz, where ever you may be, for you are the lord of the dance settee. Disclaimer: I'm joking, soz for potential offence., Mon 3 Nov 2003, 14:59, archived)

Um
But surely a newspaper editor would know that it's "tories" when it's plural.
( 100% Cock I believe that Gorgonzola is the best cheese., Tue 4 Nov 2003, 11:16, archived)

Some more......
On lots of the old buses running round Edinburgh; "Please extinguish all pipes and cigarettes" changed to "Please extinguish all pi es"

Also in the freshly painted toilets at college; "The painters work is all in vain, the shithouse poet strikes again"
(City, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 15:00, archived)

Another
Life is like an egg
You only get hard once
You only get laid once
And your mother sits on our fence
(kupsta, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 15:01, archived)

On the wall of the Gents at my workplace :
A sign saying "Please don't put chewing gum in the Urinals", underneath which was scrawled "or the Balkans"

Well I laughed enough to piss on my shoes, anyway.
(Chillijam, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 15:01, archived)

I once found some toilet grafitti written about ME!!
It made me feel truly famous. I was both awestruck and proud at the same time. It was when I was in college and it accused me of being a pretentious wanker or something. Not very funny I know, but this was an engineering department after all.

I felt like such a hero.
( dr_fonz, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 15:03, archived)

in three feet high letters, sprayed on a wall in humourless Govan:
I SHALL REWEASE... BWIAN
(kebabish, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 15:03, archived)

On our way home from Glastonbury...
we stopped off in a small town for a bog break. I went into the bog and the door wouldn't lock properly, but sod it, I thought, its already heaps better than the Glasto toilets.

Graffiti on the back of the door was the usual stuff - be here at 8pm 23/6/01 or whatever for a good time.

It then struck me that it was today. I finished rapidly and left (while noticing a couple of guys hanging around). I didn't have a watch, so asked wifey the time. 7:58 or something.

Argh! Close one.

It appears that at least some of those messages really are genuine.
( stup0t, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 15:06, archived)

Oxford is full of stuff like that.
The KA pub has the best graffiti ever, but I've always been too drunk to remember any of it.
Turl Street regularly becomes Turd Street, and there's a sandwich place called 'Heroes' that is currently 'Herpes'. Bloody good sarnies, regardless.

Although there's a whole website devoted to graffiti found in the assorted libraries around the city: users.ox.ac.uk/~peter/humour/graffiti.html (Not sure if it'll work outside the Oxford network though...)
(DuckieMonster, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 15:07, archived)

yes
it does
( Mockingbird in a pear tree, wearing a sparkly bikini, Tue 4 Nov 2003, 18:11, archived)

Here at work there's some on the back of a toilet door....
..that reads. "Flush twice. It's 200 yards to McDonalds" which unnervingly, it roughly is.

The best I've ever seen was on a bridge on the way into Hindley from Wigan. It just simply said "Fuck Off" in shitty black spray paint. Nice!
(Evil Bastardo, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 15:07, archived)

More graffiti
There was a lecture theatre here in Dundee Uni which has just recently been refurbished, but before that it had a classic collection of graffiti. Stuff like "Why is there only one Monopolies Commission?" Then someone wrote "Vote Labour" (this was about 15 years back, during the days of the Thatcher govt). Under this, someone else had added "..and ruin your country", to which a third person had contributed "mansion".

Also, there's a village near Kinross called Crook of Devon, presumably so called as it lies on a bend on the River Devon. At one time, some wag had written under the village name on the sign:
"Twinned with the Thief of Baghdad".
( K2k6 is having Christmas issues, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 15:18, archived)

on a similar note...
near ripley n. Yorks there is a little village called Bedlam, a few years back someone had written below it "Twinned with l'unacy"
(northern seth back is giving him jip again, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 15:26, archived)

graffiti
"The Queen Sucks Hitler's Cock" amused me. It was on some wooden boarding near St James's Park a couple of years ago. I think it was the aggressive alliteration of k sounds, or something... perhaps being stoned.
(Ihaveagirlfriend, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 15:21, archived)

visible from the charlton-london bridge train, just outside deptford
written neatly on a brick wall: "I SPIT ON YOUR 47 VEGETABLES". curious...

after panathinaikos had beaten man u in the champion's league, someone had daubed the team's name on a wall at UMIST, to which someone added, "NO, THIS IS A GEEK UNIVERSITY"...

and on the wall of tesco metro's in andover some years ago, an illiterate racist had daubed: "COMBAT 18 - NO NIGERS"
( martian, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 15:21, archived)

when i was at UMIST, there was a famous bowling green in the middle of the campus
one night someone poured weedkiller or similar on it, try to spell out the name of the place in massive letters. but science students being what they are, for the next month or so the green had 20 foot high letters burnt into it spelling out "UMST". someone later went back and put an "i" into it...
( new_matt, Tue 4 Nov 2003, 9:40, archived)

On the way
to my local when I'm back in Cardiff are the classics "Mmm...Cheese" and the ever so insulting "Edward is Posh"

Also in the toilets when I was at Uni read "Heisenberg wasn't here, and even if he was...you didn't see him.
(Nigel Meek's Incredibly High Waistband, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 15:24, archived)

There is a converted public loo building down my road
They turned it into a house, the building project went on for ages, and when it was finally finished they put a "To Let" sign. It can only have been 24 hours later that someone added the missing "I" in the middle.
(jazi, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 15:24, archived)

Better than "wash me"
One of those transient, only graffiti until the loser washes his filthy car; seen in West LA.

"I wish my wife was this dirty".
(obiwab, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 15:27, archived)

and the reply
"she is, mate"
( muteboy, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 15:35, archived)

OK that's the 3rd time this one's been up
Doesn't anyone read them first?
( 100% Cock I believe that Gorgonzola is the best cheese., Tue 4 Nov 2003, 14:07, archived)

down a desk leg at parkwood school bedford
"limahl"
( muteboy, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 15:31, archived)

On a bridge in Leyton
"Blacks and whites unite... and kick out the pakis"

on the liitle building in Soho Sq "Osama woz ere" written underneith was "fuck off you muslim cunt"

All in Grimsby "Jon Fox the nonse P. D. O. FILE"

"Dave Micheals had a banna shoved up his ring piece by Gozney"

"Scrobbo Ya Dead"
(El_Presidente, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 15:38, archived)

Also in grimsby
simply 'Fuck It' written in huge letters on a wall
( so long and thanks for all the fish, Tue 4 Nov 2003, 22:06, archived)

And
being from Humberside myself I know exactly how they feel about Grimsby.
(Surgeon_General, Fri 7 Nov 2003, 12:05, archived)

In an underpass in High Wycombe
a picture of a head with a huge spliff in its mouth.
and underneath, "High Wycombe"

Elsewhere, just the word "Spliff!". Such enthusiasm.
( muteboy, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 15:38, archived)

We made some stickers once
intended for the sole purpose of putting near notices that stated 'Bill Posters Will Be Prosecuted'. They simply said 'Bill Posters is innocent'


How funny we thought we were. Sigh.
( Nath, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 15:41, archived)

big hairy coke
I was once on a train and saw, carved into the headrest of the seat in front of me
"I want a bolw job."

Although this desperate dyslexic pails when compared to the graffiti I found drawn
on a Co-Op wall in Nottingham, "Lee is a coke sucker" it read and was accompanied by an illustration of
Lee sucking on what appeared to be someone's erect 'coke'.
(monkeyjam, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 15:45, archived)

I didn't see the point in this one..
.. it's in a lecture theatre at brum uni:

"Ranbidemdubopdidu, dem tings alright." - Rasta Man Dave

makes me chuckle.
( Kavanagh "I love boobies, best of all the body parts...", Mon 3 Nov 2003, 15:45, archived)

In studentville, Leeds
"HAVE YOU SEEN OUR LOVELY SPIDER?"

accompanied by drawing of said arachnid. It was a beauty.
(Anger...Pain...Fear...Aggression...Watercolours?, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 15:52, archived)

was
the spider barking?
(seamonkey, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 16:18, archived)

Oh, and another one...
"The Canadian Muffin Company" in Cambridge has been "The Canadian Muff Company" for a long time now thanks to a well placed blob of red paint.
(Fat Bear is adjusting your breasts on, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 15:53, archived)

my friend lives in a town caled puckington
some bright spark changed the P to an F

:oD
( Rev. Jesse. The b3ta book of the dead for your zombie needs!, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 15:58, archived)

I nearly
craked my buggering ribs at that one
(Roland Deschain, Tue 4 Nov 2003, 16:47, archived)

Not very inventive but...
Leicester Road, Rugby, on the side of a bridge - "Boycott Shell". Only readable after you've passed the Shell garage.

Someone altered it to read "Boycott Is Innocent" after he smacked some woman about.

Also:- on a slide already heaving with "KEV LUVS SHAZ 9T8" and the like - "PEOPLE WHO WASTE TIME WRITING ON PLAYPARKS ARE BENDERS". How clever.
( Neth, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 16:00, archived)

I know who that was!!!

It was Dave Edwards (no surprises there!)
(The Squirrels in the graveyard steal my drugs and swear at me!, Sun 9 Nov 2003, 15:29, archived)

In a cubicle in the downstairs gents in the university of portsmouth engineering building
someone had drawn a bloody good cartoon of the rear view of a knickerless, stockinged woman, bending over wearing a very short skirt.

That cubicle was always the busiest for some reason.
( Gingey is able to shoot Mind Bullets, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 16:03, archived)

Made me chuckle
"Out of order" sign on toilet door, someone wrote "bang" at the top
(mr pete, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 16:16, archived)

sign on _inside_ of
toilet door -- "out of order - do not use".

(later made into pic: 1378238)
(haberman (it blasted him with its awareness), Mon 3 Nov 2003, 17:11, archived)

Or
'Out of Ordure'
( Jacksonville believes God created evolution in 7 days, Tue 4 Nov 2003, 13:09, archived)

That must be near the cubicle that says...
Known

Time = Money
Money = sqr(Evil)
Girls = Money * Time

Therefore

Girls = Money^2
Money^2 = sqr(Evil)^2 = Evil

Girls = Evil

Made me chuckle, but then I'm a geek.
(Ash, Tue 4 Nov 2003, 10:41, archived)

yay
i went to portsmouth uni
( Rev. Jesse. The b3ta book of the dead for your zombie needs!, Tue 4 Nov 2003, 10:56, archived)

So did I
but I don't like to admit it...
(Ash, Tue 4 Nov 2003, 19:04, archived)

Eugh...
I used to live in Portsmouth (since I was a wee lad infact, born there), but I moved away, cos I got bored of the smell of urine... Live in Bristol now, so getting used to the smell of shit.
(3N1GM4, Sat 8 Nov 2003, 18:36, archived)

One line written above a urinal...
"I'm Pink therefore I'm Spam"
(abitsick does dallas., Mon 3 Nov 2003, 16:10, archived)

Had one of those
at Lancs university.
(.david, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 19:20, archived)

Wot college were you at?
I hope it wasn't county...
(scruffy, Wed 5 Nov 2003, 6:41, archived)

At School
Someone wrote 'Mr Falk Sucks Cock' on the back of his lab coat in big black pen.. Chemistry has never been so funny (xcept the time when he set fire to his hand)
(Cockfosters!, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 16:11, archived)

We had a chemistry teacher who was afraid of fire.
She promptly set fire to her register and evacuated the lab.
( Kamikaze Stoat balanced for lean, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 17:04, archived)

In edinburgh
there used to be a shop called World Of rugs in Morningside we spent hours constructing a massive D out of cardboard sprayed to match.A ladder and copious amounts of superglue completed the deal.
Stayed up for at least a day thu. which was nice
(seamonkey, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 16:15, archived)

A loving message to our transatlantic friends
used to adorn a desk in Edinburgh Uni library. An American had written: "Scotland is such a pathetic country. It's so small it would get lost in Texas." Underneath some unimpressed local had replied: "Small? A bit like Vietnam you mean? A lot of Americans got lost there."
( calgacus Non sum qualis eram bonae sub regno Cynarae, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 16:28, archived)

Again in a lecture hall at Napier
"Yir Ma Wanks Dugs" - sheer undiluted genius
(seamonkey, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 16:30, archived)

another simple one
essex road
to
sex road
(doktored, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 16:16, archived)

seen in a nightclub in swansea

bigger
( Happyperson, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 16:17, archived)

but it lasts
ages
(pikey hardly, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 16:37, archived)

when did
they start taking dollars in wales? :D
(south, Tue 4 Nov 2003, 22:15, archived)

On a wall at my old comp school in big letters...
Mery Christmas.

Don't think that school was working for them
( Weetobix is a married man, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 16:18, archived)

Poor Emily
EMILY FRENCH IS A BIG TITTED WENCH
(saucykipper, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 16:19, archived)

...or lucky Emily

(rymix, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 16:59, archived)

To the sign
'University of Reading', somebody had added 'and Writing'

Not graffiti but Hertford has a barbers shop called 'Dead Swanky'... you can guess which letter periodically goes missing...
(oiseau, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 16:29, archived)

We wrote a huge....
...chalk stop message in the road when we where kids


A little old fella stopped in his car and couldn't figure out what he'd stopped for.
( meathelmet, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 16:34, archived)

Also classics seen include....
....'Stardate ##### : Beamed down for a crap'

and 'Don't beem me up scot....' with a big long T going up the side of the wall.
( meathelmet, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 17:02, archived)

If there's a bigger bite, it can't be found
Two on the walls of my local shopping centre in Mansfield:

"Be a winner, eat your dinner"
and
"Alan Meale, Wagon Wheel" (Alan Meale is Mansfield MP)
(Shake, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 16:35, archived)

You gotta have a system
.
(rymix, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 16:55, archived)

Mansfield, Nottingham?
were that blue peter fella came from the one who got kicked out for drug abuse, u from there??

well i am and the cineam recently showed "league of extraordinary genitlemen"
hehehe
(dan_clarkie, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 23:12, archived)

On one of the tunnel entrances
going south on the Kings Cross line towards london is written "Kropotkin Lives!"

It's not funny, but it amuses me all the same.
( chthonic, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 16:38, archived)

Bidford upon Avon
stages a charity Duck Race every year.
Most years the D and R on the posters get turned into Fs
(spike, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 16:40, archived)

cheesy!
Someone had sprayed a 30ft long message on a wall in central Paris proclaiming "La France est la reine du fromage"

... and proud presumably?
(macmonkey, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 16:40, archived)

When I worked at the Body Shop factories..
.. we had chalkboards in the cubicles. Inscribed were such wonders as:
"Here I sit amongst the vapour,
cos there is no toilet paper"

and below that:

"Oh, what a lot of wit,
you'd think Shakespeare himself came here to shit;
For all you know that may be true,
cos Shakespeare had an arsehole too!"

and my personal favorite:

"Spencer is gay"
(Grobie, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 16:41, archived)

at a favorite restaurant
on the wall of the mens' restroom someone wrote "Save Russian Jews" and another person had come along and written "... and collect valuable prizes" underneath it.
( kingoffools, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 16:52, archived)

A mate has just told me of
some grafitti on a bus stop opposite the finglands bus garage on wilslow road in fallowfield,Manchester
"If you're a scally then just stop it, you look like a cock and people would rather you were dead"
Kind of gets it across nicely, doesn't it. Cheers Ben D
(northern seth back is giving him jip again, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 16:55, archived)

please add..
.. can you also stop tucking your trousers into your socks as it is demeaning to humanity.
(evil pete, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 21:23, archived)

"But I'm a homosexual!"
written in the male bogs in the Twelve Bar on Denmark Street, London.

Funny coz it sits alone, refuting a statement that only exists inside the writers head.
( rob You should follow me http://twitter.com/robmanuel, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 16:57, archived)

"David Sylvie is a BIG HAIRY APE"
Informative AND entertaining
(rymix, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 17:00, archived)

for a while on South West Trains
you couldn't go anywhere without reading 'except (at) Woking'

Do not use unless in an emergency... except at Woking.
Do not open door when train is moving... except at Woking.

and, the most common of these:
Do not flush toilet when train is at a station... except Woking.

I have no idea what it was all about, but the dedication of these people did impress me at the time.

A good one for filthy toilets is this, in pencil, works best with a date for reasons that should be obvious:
Dave, goods stashed in usual place. Mike. 04/11

Not sure if this qualifies... written in shit on the back of a toilet door:
WHO FUCKING STOLE MY PEN?
( Manic declared war on Old Media, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 17:02, archived)

A pub in Islington;
'My mum made me a homosexual'

the reply was,

'If I gave her the wool, would she make me one too?'
(jem, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 17:07, archived)

I nearly
peed myself at that!
( Blobcat Previously known as Amazongirl, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 19:59, archived)

that was at central station sydney
from about 1975 to 1978.
Just near
"its better to be wanted as a murderer than not to be wanted at all"
(gamera, Tue 4 Nov 2003, 0:12, archived)

In my student union...
someone has scrawled www.sheepshaggers.co.wales on the wall in the toilets. well it made me chuckle. and pee on the floor :(

also, the bridge nearby has 'SINBAD IS INOCENT' sprayed on it. He must have been illiterate as well.
( Purple Robot Now with added doom, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 17:08, archived)

Outside my local paper shop a few year back,
on the board for that evenings Bolton paper,it read..."Jobs Blow for Gulf War Heros".After a rip and tear,the heros were feeling much better.

"Blow Jobs for Gulf War Heros"
kept us amused for the rest o'the night.
(Loft, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 17:14, archived)

Made me laugh

(TheGoodStuff, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 17:09, archived)

on the 200 bus...
...i saw someone had picked the letters off them litte ticket bins you get by the doors of buses, so instead of reading 'used tickets' it just read 'tits'

oh,and the usual scratching bits off tube signs, like 'obstruct the doors, be dangerous'
(nawtie, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 17:11, archived)

On a sign in a town local to me during a spell of SERIOUS flooding
The town's name is Carrick-On-Shannon, the "on" had cleverly been crossed out and replaced with an "under"
(KingMong, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 17:13, archived)

Just a couple...
...an old one from Oxford (late 70s or early 80s) and one which always appealed to me:
"Is this mindless vandalism?"

One I invented - and please steal if you like - was to find an 'Armitage Shanks' on a piece of porcelain and add the clarifying message:
"Armitage is a shanker"

A nice one near my home in York now is:
"Paul has got big feet" - wicked huh!
(Che Grimsdale More fridge-magnet than babe-magnet, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 17:13, archived)

I am saddened to report that
on no occasion have I seen the graffiti: "your all gay"
I shall have to become a ruffian for a while, don my indellible marker and introduce the greater public to this unparalleded expression of illiteracy, humour, irony and down-right homosexuality-ed-ness
(rymix, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 17:14, archived)

Lived in a house with a
bloke who had a tendancy to be a bit of a wanker so one very pissed night me and a mate spraypainted in 5ft high, red letters, DEAN IS GAY!! on the subway near the house. Very juvenille and a bit council estate but very amusing because he had to walk past it everyday.
(Dave Mash, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 17:16, archived)

Graffiti at Tesco's
I saw a huge banner outside Tesco's that made me chuckle. It was an advert for doubling reward points if you bought petrol at their garage. It read "Pump up your reward points" and someone had written underneath "... and shag your mum". I bet they don't have things like that written in toilets at Oxfooord.
(jskunkbox, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 17:17, archived)

Not Mine

But still bloody funny
(Cockfosters!, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 17:21, archived)

on the liverpool street line I saw
bump 'n flex
bump 'n flex
bump 'n flex
bump 'n flex
bump 'n felx
bump 'n flex
(el_grimley, Tue 4 Nov 2003, 0:01, archived)

Let me set the scene...
I'm taking a waz in the downstairs toilet of Prince of Wales Feathers, on Warren Street. The loo is pristine, not one bit of Graffiti, or so i thought until i knoticed somthing just to the left of the door frame. Upon closer inspection, as it was too small to read from the urinal, i found it to be a deep etching containing biro ink reading...

"Michael Jackson sucks cock"

roughly this big

|------------------------------------|

However, despite its minuteness, it had been etched in with such ferocity that it was obviously impossible to remove.

The most baffling part, for myself and those i sent to see it? What the fuck had Michael Jackson done to this poor guy.
(GlobaModule, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 17:25, archived)

Maybe
he'd sucked his cock.
(Daveybaby, Tue 4 Nov 2003, 9:56, archived)

i remember living in bristol
quite a few years ago, and in brislington there was a newsagents with "D.Clutterbuck sales coke" written on it. I was never sure if D.Clutterbuck was the shopkeeper or a drug dealer.

some kids used to spraypaint the date on one of my mate's garage door. every time he tried to paint the garage door and get rid of the graffitti, those pesky kids would come along and write the new date in the old one's place.
( GTA, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 17:25, archived)

On a toilet door at university
"Terry Waite, world hide and seek champion 1985, 1986, 1987"
( Disco, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 17:26, archived)