Ploomp.

(Krowten, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 16:08, archived)

Dont know what the hell it is...
but i know i like it...

woo...
(insaniac1, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 16:09, archived)

Aarrrgggghhhh!
Its winking at me!

Woo
( Sir Aunty Grampa Dave the Hat - Stuff happens - glee arms - more stuff - glee arms again . . . unexpected horse! - Ta! Cannaoogim!?, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 16:10, archived)

undeniably
ploomp
(stone the crows, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 16:11, archived)

among one of your finest works
during your ploomp period I feel sure
woo yay
( Vultan the real one I threw my little yellow shoe, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 16:19, archived)

I've been waiting for you

( corington, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 16:05, archived)

Jesus!
*Dives through window*
(Cluster, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 16:05, archived)

mother???

(don't tell him Pike!!, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 16:06, archived)

son
is that you?
( Vultan the real one I threw my little yellow shoe, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 16:20, archived)

only one thing to say to that

(haffy, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 16:06, archived)

I would

( Goatpod, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 16:06, archived)

NYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!
*sets fire to eyes*
AAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
( lazygamer with new improved "MNNNNNNGGH" formula, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 16:06, archived)

Belly's gonna get you
BELLY BELLY BELLY BELLY BELLY BELLY
BELLY BELLY BELLY BELLY BELLY BELLY
BELLY BELLY BELLY BELLY BELLY BELLY
(insaniac1, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 16:07, archived)

Oh, hermaphrodite
sex machine. Genetic.
(Small Beer, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 16:09, archived)

CSB!

( Benny on the Loose; a permanent solution to a temporary problem, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 16:09, archived)

CRAP IN A HAT!
Thats scary!
( Deadpool, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 16:10, archived)

sweet merciful mary's chuff
that doth grape my squildo verily and no mistake guvnor
( Dr. Shambolic loverable rouge, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 16:10, archived)

Fuckin buntcadgers
It's coming for me?!?
( loonybean giving as good as he gets since 2004, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 16:14, archived)

Christ on a bike!
FUCKING KILL IT!
(Crumpet, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 16:15, archived)

Eek!

( Mike Fishcake teamfishcake.co.uk - better than your mum's face, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 16:27, archived)

newbie tuesday
So this is newbie tuesday right? I'm new and I don't know where to post. any way here are some links to stuff I'm workingon trying to teach myself to make web sites. I currently live in Japan so I'm working in another time zone so my posts may be erratic. Anyway here is a beer map of where I live in japan www.angelfire.com/folk/hankflloyd/buncho.html
(Chairman Mur, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 16:04, archived)

*sigh*
Tuesday. That explains so much.
EDIT: I've looked at your flash clicky map thing and I have 2 words to say to you: HIT STATE.
That is all.
(Kundalini wants his hand back (and an fp too, thanks), Tue 3 Aug 2004, 16:05, archived)

*scans*
Japan... Erotic... Beer...


Sounds fun, pick me up at eight?
( Neth, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 16:05, archived)

Try the FAQ for further enlightenment....

(insaniac1, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 16:06, archived)

my god, that's shite.

(alexnessie wants your babies., Tue 3 Aug 2004, 16:08, archived)

hahaha ha ah
ohhh lord
will I NEVER go to bed?
(Kundalini wants his hand back (and an fp too, thanks), Tue 3 Aug 2004, 16:08, archived)

have you been smoking something?
or is your head dobber on squint?
(alexnessie wants your babies., Tue 3 Aug 2004, 16:10, archived)

eh what now?

(Kundalini wants his hand back (and an fp too, thanks), Tue 3 Aug 2004, 16:12, archived)

well, you seem to be posting in the correct place.
welcome, pull up a kitten.

[edit] to make you feel at home have a picture

( Thor_sonofodin https://twitter.com/Thor_sonofodin, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 16:08, archived)

had to....dont know why

(flibbertigibbet, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 16:04, archived)

i am so pleased
to have been a part of the origins of this bandwagon. *sigh*
(Kundalini wants his hand back (and an fp too, thanks), Tue 3 Aug 2004, 16:04, archived)

Thank ya maam...
...*doffs unfeasibly large hat
(flibbertigibbet, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 16:07, archived)

Are you.
Are you really.
( oodle doodle, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 16:07, archived)

Me too
:-)
( Mike Fishcake teamfishcake.co.uk - better than your mum's face, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 16:17, archived)

Great Tit...


Greater Tit with extra eye twitching bonus action
( Goatpod, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 16:02, archived)

Heheh,

that am woo.
( Neth, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 16:04, archived)

where's me gun Ma ?
yay to the pic !
(insaniac1, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 16:04, archived)

Looks a bit of a blue tit
I'd prefer mine

( alexr, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 16:07, archived)

Trust me
it's a great tit
( Goatpod, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 16:10, archived)

hallo
1st post me... i bring you conflicted fluffy as a pacifier to the b3tan gods. Me no havie photoshop here, sorry


oops...
(You_cant_stop_dribble, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 15:55, archived)

OK you get the prize
for best new username of the week...

/passes last of my fresh woo
(insaniac1, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 15:57, archived)

ok everyone
time for PetStarr's beddy byes. Have a good day - wish me goodnight!
And Mr Incredebebleble ninja man - DON'T SEND THAT LETTER IF YOU VALUE YOUR SEXUAL FUTURE!!!
That is all.
(Kundalini wants his hand back (and an fp too, thanks), Tue 3 Aug 2004, 16:01, archived)

Agree!
The username is great. Hooray!

And woo to the max for the pic.
( Mike Fishcake teamfishcake.co.uk - better than your mum's face, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 16:02, archived)

Hahaha

Welcome.
( Neth, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 15:58, archived)

Hurrah for killer kittens.
Hello. ☺
(Small Beer, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 16:00, archived)

Don't need photoshop
just need a way to post funny pics :)
Welcome to b3ta, you'll never leave.
( mofaha, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 16:02, archived)

no apology needed
at least you posted a picture!

good on ya
( Wasp Box was gut-shot running gin, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 16:05, archived)

Woo
Nice one :)

(By the way, try The GIMP - it's like Photoshop but free.)
(Simonster_7, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 16:05, archived)

And crashes more often.
Or use Shareaza - it's like ordering off the internet. Only free.

I don't condone software piracy. Honestly, I use GIMP.
( Bohica Anne Frank's Bukkaki Tentacle Storm, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 16:08, archived)

evil kittins
am the bestest


(Doogal of the Roundabout, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 16:08, archived)

Don't worry,
welcome, pull up a kitten .......
( loonybean giving as good as he gets since 2004, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 16:20, archived)

he he
woo and yay
( Vultan the real one I threw my little yellow shoe, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 16:35, archived)

my beaux gave me crabs...
hermit crabs. What shall I name them?
(Shalom Haknak Shalom, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 15:54, archived)

Okay, this is getting silly.
FUCK OFF, TWAT! I WANT KITTENS!
( Rev. A-MOL is lurking around these parts again, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 15:56, archived)

Cnut and Twunt...
would be rather catchy..
(insaniac1, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 15:56, archived)

Tommy and Cooper.

( mofaha, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 15:57, archived)

jus' like that
!
( lazygamer with new improved "MNNNNNNGGH" formula, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 16:01, archived)

i hope your beau (not beaux unless it's plural)
gave you hepatitis too. now fuck off.



/unfluffy
( baby wet ones, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 15:57, archived)

YAY!
Sweary Time

Cunt Wank Toss Bastard Minge Arse Tits Cock Shit Frig Cunt Wank Toss Bastard Minge Arse Tits Cock Shit Frig Cunt Wank Toss Bastard Minge Arse Tits Cock Shit Frig Cunt Wank Toss Bastard Minge Arse Tits Cock Shit Frig Cunt Wank Toss Bastard Minge Arse Tits Cock Shit Frig Cunt Wank Toss Bastard Minge Arse Tits Cock Shit Frig Cunt Wank Toss Bastard Minge Arse Tits Cock Shit Frig
( Thor_sonofodin https://twitter.com/Thor_sonofodin, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 16:03, archived)

sweatgreased flange-tablets!

( Dr. Shambolic loverable rouge, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 16:06, archived)

flanging phasewanks!
all over the superfuzz bigmuff!
( baby wet ones, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 16:09, archived)

suck my
badgering monkey twatbiscuit pissmonger.
(badger of doom, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 16:11, archived)

Q: Can I start a new thread without a picture?
A: Yes. But be considerate to other people using the board. And be interesting.

Please delete this useless post. This is *not* just another messageboard. It's b3ta. And people come to b3ta for images, animations and great stuff found on the internet. We don't come here to read shit like this.
( chobb ,ø¤ºGREATº¤ø,¸¸,ø¤ºRAPISTº¤ø,¸¸,ø¤ºRECOMMENDEDº¤ø, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 16:05, archived)

Woo!
Fucking ace storm here in Oxford.

*strokes UPS and laughs at rebooting PCs of cow-orkers*



and with the cynical addition of a shit paintmash of the view outside, no longer a threadwaste ;)
(dognutz, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 15:52, archived)

I would consider that a TW
if you hadn't amusingly put the hyphen in the wrong place.
(gbert, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 15:53, archived)

True.
Tolkienism there.
(Small Beer, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 15:54, archived)

i would belive that is was intentional.

( Thor_sonofodin https://twitter.com/Thor_sonofodin, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 15:56, archived)

It's a Dilbertism,
isn't it?
( DogHorse is a daddy! YAY!, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 15:57, archived)

I believe
so
( MakTheYak, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 16:01, archived)

It predates Dilbert.
It probably originated on talk.bizarre, an old Usenet newsgroup.
( Newington This summer: http://www.brokenholmes.co.uk, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 16:13, archived)

ooh ooh... take pictures... !!!
all we've got in Huntly is sunshine...
(insaniac1, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 15:54, archived)

Arrrgghghh!
Child killer! Run! Run!
( Bohica Anne Frank's Bukkaki Tentacle Storm, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 15:57, archived)

not quite....
it's about 40 mins form any where... past the back of beyond... and just left of the middle of nowhere...

funnily enough for a small town there are rather a lot of murders here...

/packs bags quickly
(insaniac1, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 15:59, archived)

is there
a power station nearby?
(haberman (it blasted him with its awareness), Tue 3 Aug 2004, 16:07, archived)

well, a strange request, but here goes

(dognutz, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 15:58, archived)

Ha ha!

( Smallbrainfield, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 16:02, archived)

/slaps head in disappointment
wanted pics of storm...
(insaniac1, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 16:03, archived)

well it's dark and wet
and as much as I love all the folks at b3ta, standing out in the street snapping away like a spastic trying to capture lightning on camera will probably raise an eye or two ;)
(dognutz, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 16:05, archived)

it's been pissing it down her in cheltenham
but it's still fucking humid. i feel sweatier then a welders arse.
( Thor_sonofodin https://twitter.com/Thor_sonofodin, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 15:55, archived)

Hmmm
I was pissing down her in Cheltenham once- she loved it!
( PastorSauce : easy on the anchovies..., Tue 3 Aug 2004, 16:08, archived)

i remember when it were all pictures round 'ere
*dreams wistfully of the good ol' days*
( baby wet ones, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 15:55, archived)

me too *sigh*
oh wait...

and the days when you could leave tags open
(dognutz, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 16:03, archived)

I mentioned earlier that i was writing an awful love letter and here it is
I am writing this letter to you because I don’t feel that I can tell you what I have to tell you in any other way. This is so hard.
For the longest time I have had feeling for you like I have never had for anyone else. You are the most beautiful and amazing person that I’ve ever met and it feels like, that with your support and encouragement, I could do anything I wanted. I feel so nervous whenever I’m around you, but at the same time it makes me happy to see you and to talk to you. If I had any experience in the matter I might say I was in love with you, but I really don’t feel as if I know you well enough to really be in love with you. It’s all so confusing.
I don’t know what good it will do to tell you all this, in fact I rather suspect it will just cause an awkward situation between us, but if there’s even the remotest chance that you could ever feel the same way about me, then I can’t just let it go.
It feels so impersonal to be typing this, I wanted to handwrite it, but I felt it was more important that you actually be able to read what I’ve written. I’m sorry if this all just seems a bit weird but if I don’t say it now, I probably never will, and I don’t want that. I know that knowing this may change our relationship, but I hope that we can still be friends, if nothing else. This is such a terrible jumble of words; I just hope you can pick out what I’m trying to say, and try to understand it. I really am sorry if this is all just too inappropriate or out of line, but I couldn’t go on leaving it unsaid any more.



sorry for the threadwaste but i don't really give a fuck
( The Incredible... accident free since, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 15:44, archived)

?

(Small Beer, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 15:46, archived)

*nudges gently*
It's to his Mum.
( Benny on the Loose; a permanent solution to a temporary problem, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 15:49, archived)

hahaha ha haah
that little nudge made me laugh so hard
(Kundalini wants his hand back (and an fp too, thanks), Tue 3 Aug 2004, 15:58, archived)

Oooohhh...
I can see you're easily pleased... :)
( Benny on the Loose; a permanent solution to a temporary problem, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 16:01, archived)

actually, as it happens, I'm not.
LOOK! A BLUE CAR!!!! WOOOOOOOO HA HA HA HA HA HA
(Kundalini wants his hand back (and an fp too, thanks), Tue 3 Aug 2004, 16:02, archived)

A Blue Car!!!
HURRAHHH!!! *falls over with excitement*
( Benny on the Loose; a permanent solution to a temporary problem, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 16:08, archived)

stop
with the apologising. and focus on the positive goodness
(WrinkledPrune, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 15:46, archived)

and dont forget
the photoshopped kitten with flowers
(WrinkledPrune, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 15:46, archived)

i did stick
a piture of a rose on the bottom
( The Incredible... accident free since, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 15:47, archived)

well if she's not interested,
you can take me for a beer
(WrinkledPrune, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 15:48, archived)

sounds good
but don't let him take you for a fool - HO NOOOOO!!!!!
(Kundalini wants his hand back (and an fp too, thanks), Tue 3 Aug 2004, 15:59, archived)

you can
come too if you like? after all what else is he going to do when she laughs in his face?

/unnecessary cruelty
(WrinkledPrune, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 16:11, archived)

agreed
more compliments, women lap them up...

/wonders why he's single...

edit: oops, thought it was a 'don't dump me, remember the good times' letter, in that case, if she's your mate already ask her if she fancies a drink and sit right up close to her if she accepts. Chances are the letter's going to make the friendship 'awkward', so at least make it in a friendly environment...
( djdirect, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 15:48, archived)

without a doubt
do this
( Mond, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 15:57, archived)

awww
that's lovely mate, but depending on the current state of your relationship the recipient might think you're a stalker.
(Kundalini wants his hand back (and an fp too, thanks), Tue 3 Aug 2004, 15:46, archived)

yeah
just ask him/her/it out and/or try to snog them.
Much more acceptable.
(haberman (it blasted him with its awareness), Tue 3 Aug 2004, 16:09, archived)

p.s.
I am fwapping as I write this letter.

Sorry.
( Newington This summer: http://www.brokenholmes.co.uk, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 15:46, archived)

hahahahaa
or -

PS: If you're not interested, could you please pass this on to your mum?
(Kundalini wants his hand back (and an fp too, thanks), Tue 3 Aug 2004, 15:46, archived)

Arf! Erm...
I mean... heartless twat!
( Rev. A-MOL is lurking around these parts again, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 15:46, archived)

DEFINITELY!
Hahah!
( Mr Gear - the only black guy on B3ta, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 15:47, archived)

Best reply of the day!
/burns bra
/goes to casualty
/bra surgically removed by nurse with tweezers
( Bohica Anne Frank's Bukkaki Tentacle Storm, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 15:53, archived)

Whoah there...
you have to take the tissues out first
( Newington This summer: http://www.brokenholmes.co.uk, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 15:55, archived)

fair comment
I have bought a new one anyway
( Vultan the real one I threw my little yellow shoe, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 16:01, archived)

*sniff*
/puts on Angry Anderson 7"


"Suddenly you're seeing me, Just the way I am...."
( Rev. A-MOL is lurking around these parts again, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 15:46, archived)

Send her some KY jelly.
She'll get the message.
( Mr Gear - the only black guy on B3ta, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 15:47, archived)

just ask them out for a drink
/older than you
( lemonhead, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 15:47, archived)

Or
ask her to come to the off license for a bottle of Diamond White.
( Rev. A-MOL is lurking around these parts again, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 15:48, archived)

are you calling me a pikey
i'll set me dag on ya
( The Incredible... accident free since, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 15:51, archived)

no
i think he's covering his bases, incase your only a wee child
( lo, the Greebo Warrior doesn't update his sig often enough, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 15:58, archived)

i'm very nearly 20
i just think like a small child

also, she doesnt; she's more mature than me, which doesnt really help matters, cos i'm always scared i'm gonna act like a twat in front of her
( The Incredible... accident free since, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 16:04, archived)

You're a bloke, that's what your supposed to do.

( Bohica Anne Frank's Bukkaki Tentacle Storm, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 16:09, archived)

Edit monkey!
...but why didn't you fix both "your"s?
( Newington This summer: http://www.brokenholmes.co.uk, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 16:14, archived)

best plan is to just say what you mean.
don't worry about the consiquences.

There are none.
(ALittleMouseWithClogsOn, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 16:15, archived)

well it's a bit complicated
cos we've been friends for a while, and...like...stuff

i'm so terrible with my emotions
( The Incredible... accident free since, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 15:50, archived)

i'm agreed with lemonhead
cut the shit and just ask her out!!! Women want men with BALLS, not feelings! Yeah!
(Kundalini wants his hand back (and an fp too, thanks), Tue 3 Aug 2004, 15:51, archived)

What about men like me?

/hugs puppy
/chops wood with huge chopper
( Rev. A-MOL is lurking around these parts again, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 15:53, archived)

as long as you
don't get the puppy confused with the wood, we're all ok.
(Kundalini wants his hand back (and an fp too, thanks), Tue 3 Aug 2004, 15:55, archived)

Whatever you do, don't send it typed.

Handwrite the whole thing. Seriously.
( Neth, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 15:47, archived)

you wouldnt say that if u saw my handwriting
think egyptian hyroglyphics, only more indecipherable
( The Incredible... accident free since, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 15:48, archived)

There's nothing less personal than
a typed letter though. It's for someone you're in love with, not your bloody secretary!
( Neth, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 15:50, archived)

"Copy this down, Joan
and I want in the post by five"
( Rev. A-MOL is lurking around these parts again, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 15:51, archived)

"And Joan...

...make it heartfelt."
( Neth, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 15:54, archived)

mm
I have to agree with Neth here... a typed love letter is shit. Especially one that has potential stalker connotations.

You could just cut up bit of magazines and stick letters to a sheet of paper with paste and tweezers.
(Kundalini wants his hand back (and an fp too, thanks), Tue 3 Aug 2004, 15:50, archived)

Like a kidnapper would...?
/cynic
( Neth, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 15:51, archived)

no.
Like a completely sane person would. Tch.
(Kundalini wants his hand back (and an fp too, thanks), Tue 3 Aug 2004, 15:52, archived)

No, I would
Illegible handwriting is better than printed. Really.

Just write slowly, if she's worth the time.
( teedyay, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 16:23, archived)

Agree with this.
If you can't write, trace the letters through a thin piece of paper.
( Mr Gear - the only black guy on B3ta, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 15:49, archived)

And for the same reason,
DON'T SEND IT AT ALL.
FOR GOD'S SAKE, TALK TO HER.

Then again, maybe this is something you have to do and find out for yourself. It is not my policy to interfere.
( Newington This summer: http://www.brokenholmes.co.uk, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 15:51, archived)

sorry
but that's a really uncool idea! Imagine getting a traced letter!
(Kundalini wants his hand back (and an fp too, thanks), Tue 3 Aug 2004, 15:51, archived)

more to the point
thats quite a lot of tracing
(joshs241, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 16:11, archived)

Imagine.

Just... imagine...
(Lapin, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 16:23, archived)

totally
she will think you just got it off a love letters site or sumthing.

gud luck tho.
(polystyrene_daffodil, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 15:53, archived)

Hmmm, threadwaste... but
Good luck regardless, and remember at all times, it can't backfire on you as bad as something like this did to me.
( Cadmus has teh uplikn coeds at, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 15:48, archived)

Do tell...

( Rev. A-MOL is lurking around these parts again, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 15:48, archived)

Time for a nostalgic pearost


It's okay, you get over it in a couple of years.
( Newington This summer: http://www.brokenholmes.co.uk, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 15:49, archived)

Amen to that.

( Neth, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 15:51, archived)

she
sounds shit.
(Kundalini wants his hand back (and an fp too, thanks), Tue 3 Aug 2004, 15:53, archived)

It is astonishing
how long it took me to figure out that simple solution.
C'est la vie.

The sequel:
He went out with her for about a year, during which I sulked horribly. I was fortunate enough (maybe as some cruel side effect of not caring?) to drunkenly pull a few random other women, one of whom it actually turned out I really, really liked. However I was too overshadowed by self-indulgent grief over the events of the animation to notice and treated her really badly and ended up losing her too.

If anyone really wants my advice on such matters, I recommend a visit to the vet.

( Newington This summer: http://www.brokenholmes.co.uk, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 16:01, archived)

Good work fella. Don't know what you were worried about.
Stick one of these on it and she'll love you for ever.



You could just talk to her. That works as well. Ladies prefer the direct, honest approach.
( Bohica Anne Frank's Bukkaki Tentacle Storm, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 15:48, archived)

i couldnt do that
i'd be petrified
( The Incredible... accident free since, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 15:52, archived)

Look...
...I'm not expert on this, but actually asking her out for a drink or something works better than a letter.

To be 100% honest with you, ladies tend to see letters as being a little sappy and spineless. It takes guts to ask someone out face-to-face and that, if nothing else, will be appreciated.
( Bohica Anne Frank's Bukkaki Tentacle Storm, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 15:56, archived)

Seconded!
I wrote a letter like that once. She went and showed it to all my mates & then never spoke to me again.

I only stopped crying yesterday.

And thankyou on your promise. I've run out of eyebleach.
( Benny on the Loose; a permanent solution to a temporary problem, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 16:03, archived)

Now that's comedy!
And a lesson to us all.
( Bohica Anne Frank's Bukkaki Tentacle Storm, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 16:06, archived)

I can laugh through the tears now.

( Benny on the Loose; a permanent solution to a temporary problem, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 16:14, archived)

Erm
how do you communicate with her now? Believe me, the direct approach is best, and there are plenty more fish in the sea. Some of them have little lights on their heads.
( Smallbrainfield, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 15:58, archived)

well i do talk to her down the pub and such
its just that talking to hwer about THIS in particular would petrify me
( The Incredible... accident free since, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 16:07, archived)

If you feel that strongly about her,
go for it. Don't waste time and let some passing gorilla sweep her off her feet. That feels a lot more crushing than what you're feeling now, mate.
( Smallbrainfield, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 16:12, archived)

It's better to regret doing something,
than to regret not doing something.

Takes bottle, though.
( Benny on the Loose; a permanent solution to a temporary problem, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 16:13, archived)

a bottle of whisky probably

( The Incredible... accident free since, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 16:25, archived)

Works for me every time,
but you've gotta catch 'em just right with it, though.
( Benny on the Loose; a permanent solution to a temporary problem, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 16:26, archived)

Awww, how nice
and if that doesn't work, there's always rohypnol
(wizbits_armpit, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 15:49, archived)

christ....
you're going to regret posting this when you sober up!
(gbert, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 15:50, archived)

i am sober actually
it's not like i know any of you people in the 'real' world, so it doesn't really bother me
( The Incredible... accident free since, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 15:53, archived)

so why are you telling us?
it's not as if we (I) care?
(gbert, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 15:55, archived)

sorry babe
but I really think you need to down a few stiff drinks, go round to her place, grab her round the waist and say "DARLING - I've wanted to do this for an AWFully long time" and then stick your tongue down her throat. That's the way to win a girl.
(Kundalini wants his hand back (and an fp too, thanks), Tue 3 Aug 2004, 15:57, archived)

Or get done for sexual assault.
It's fifty-fifty. Them's good odds.
( Bohica Anne Frank's Bukkaki Tentacle Storm, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 16:03, archived)

either way
you can run off giggling incessantly into the night!
(joshs241, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 16:15, archived)

no threadwaste this is interesting
try to talk more about her and be possitive. You are great because with your support and encouragement, I could do anything I wanted sounds a bit "Your the only one who will understand when I dress in my grandmothers cloths and masterbate!

but good effort show us the next draft and seriously more on how ace she is everyone likes that
( Vultan the real one I threw my little yellow shoe, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 15:50, archived)

Hey!
Wheres Madrabbi today.

I hope he hasn't caught my guts.
( Sir Aunty Grampa Dave the Hat - Stuff happens - glee arms - more stuff - glee arms again . . . unexpected horse! - Ta! Cannaoogim!?, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 15:52, archived)

I'm
over there
←
( madrabbi, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 16:04, archived)

he is on top off me
and under me
he cant get enough my throw around rabbi
( Vultan the real one I threw my little yellow shoe, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 16:12, archived)

Eeurgh!

( madrabbi, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 16:16, archived)

'noon
'ows yer guts?

(stupid question to ask a vogon)

*Passes back borrowed bogroll
( Sir Aunty Grampa Dave the Hat - Stuff happens - glee arms - more stuff - glee arms again . . . unexpected horse! - Ta! Cannaoogim!?, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 16:24, archived)

fine
glad you're better too.

today I am mostly in the other place.
( madrabbi, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 16:29, archived)

be a man!
thats too much like "i want you, will you please accept me in your wonderful life?" start again and be in control and don't write anything you'll be embarrassed to have printed out at handed out to everyone you know. you have written exactly how you feel, thats not good. rememeber be a cunt and she'll love you. f.a.c.t!

take care of yourself, and each other.
(haitch, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 15:51, archived)

sad but true
women don't want fuzzy sensitive men. Not until they've gotten bored with shagging them.
(Kundalini wants his hand back (and an fp too, thanks), Tue 3 Aug 2004, 15:54, archived)

i dont know
she went out with a pretty soppy guy before, for quite a wile as well
( The Incredible... accident free since, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 15:59, archived)

and then she dumped him?

( Vultan the real one I threw my little yellow shoe, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 16:05, archived)

well, yea
but not because he was too soppy. i dont think
( The Incredible... accident free since, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 16:08, archived)

aarggh
its all too hard.

i apreciate everyones advice, but it's just confusing me more

i would LOVE to just tell her how i feel, but i don't have the courage, so i thought a letter would be a nice way to do it.

and yes, handwritten would be better, but i have handwriting like a child, worse even, and i want her to be able to read it

i feel so stupid
( The Incredible... accident free since, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 15:57, archived)

Can you play
an instrument? The music of love is universal, even for accordion players.
( Smallbrainfield, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 16:00, archived)

yea i play guitar
but i'm totally pants at writing my own stuff

and she's not really into the sort of music i play or listen to anyway
( The Incredible... accident free since, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 16:01, archived)

Well good luck anyway
try not to worry too much, things have a way of sorting themselves out. Just don't do nothing, you'll really regret it.
( Smallbrainfield, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 16:08, archived)

Well, the lyrics are done
b3ta.com/board/3549146

I recommend the key of G, at about 120bpm.

Good luck.

(PS: DO NOT send that letter. The link above would make a far better impression. Trust me, I'm a clinical psychologist.*


*may be a lie
( L-Space - scientia sapientes vocat., Tue 3 Aug 2004, 16:12, archived)

I'm going to try and be serious.
DON'T tell her how you feel.
Just work towards it. Buy her a drink... and talk to her... and stuff...

If there is a potental for... whatever... between the two of you, it will tend to happen anyway if you're just not too shy. There's time to reveal your feelings later, by which time she'll know them anyway.

I dunno. It's your life. The only thing I'm certain of is that talking to her is better than writing and anything is better than typing. Even terrible handwriting. Really!
( Newington This summer: http://www.brokenholmes.co.uk, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 16:22, archived)

Or how about
"I really like you! Do you feel like getting together and doing something fun?"
( mofaha, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 15:54, archived)

less you
more her

"Dear woman, you are quite ace. I'd like to tell you how ace in person but I'd bollocks it right the fuck up. Gizza snog. Or tell us to piss off. Ta muchly. Bloke."
( Dr. Shambolic loverable rouge, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 15:57, archived)

actually
that sounds almost exactly right
( The Incredible... accident free since, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 16:00, archived)

help yourself
I'm more of a face-to-face person myself (what with being irresistible to all living creatures) ... but there's nothing really wrong with a note.
( Dr. Shambolic loverable rouge, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 16:04, archived)

thats because it is
if you must use a not like a 14 year old girl use this one
( Vultan the real one I threw my little yellow shoe, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 16:06, archived)

great
wordage!
(haberman (it blasted him with its awareness), Tue 3 Aug 2004, 16:12, archived)

summary for those too lazy to read that.
I love you. Blah blah blah. Lazy git. Fuck me.


/moody cunt today
(alexnessie wants your babies., Tue 3 Aug 2004, 15:57, archived)

You'll never
have her if you send that, it'll also make you cringe thinking about it in years to come.
( Undulating Tentacles of Love : Hung like a hearse., Tue 3 Aug 2004, 15:58, archived)

You have
no fucking chance whatsoever

NEXT!
( sick_boy, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 15:58, archived)

Or
"Fancy a shuffle? ;-)"
and sign it with a silly picture
(Rich Chestmat, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 15:59, archived)

Few too many "I'm sorry"-s
Never apologise for the way you feel. Unless you have the wrong feelings.
( Noit last used an unnecessary comma on, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 16:00, archived)

awww
still, I wouldn't. trying speaking.
( coco, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 16:01, archived)

You damn fool
All she wants is a picture of your cock.
( Scaryduck - twitter.com/duckorange, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 16:01, archived)

rohypnol or ghb, viagra and lube
nuf said, always a winner
(haitch, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 16:02, archived)

I have only removed words and added punctuation.
Maybe precis it?
----
I am writing this letter to you because I feel so hard.

You are the most beautiful and amazing person that I’ve ever met. It makes me happy to see you and to talk to you.

----
( Three Dog Man Your mama told me to come, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 16:06, archived)

He he,
That made me laugh out loud that did!
(El_Lurkio, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 16:16, archived)

My comments....
First of all, I don't know if you're brave or daft for posting such a personal letter on a messaegboard.

Anyway, what I really want to say is that ignore all the people that are saying Women don't want sensitive men / women want this / women like that.... People are different! FFS, not all women have the same attitudes and like the same things!

Crikey....
( Mike Fishcake teamfishcake.co.uk - better than your mum's face, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 16:09, archived)

that changes EVERYTHING!!
thanks a lot, no really


i think i might go for the "hey woman your ace, i would like to tell you how ace in person but i'd bollocks it right up etc" approach
( The Incredible... accident free since, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 16:15, archived)

gets my vote...
b3ta.com/board/3549273
( L-Space - scientia sapientes vocat., Tue 3 Aug 2004, 16:17, archived)

yeah, go for that
it'll make her laugh, which is always a good thing.

the others are right, though - whatever a girl says, they all prefer a guy to be manly. how do you think Den off of Eastenders still gets woman?!
( spatuluk., Tue 3 Aug 2004, 16:29, archived)

well done you.
that was a good thing for you to have done, get some of the tension out of your system. I'm sure a great many people here know just how it feels to be in your situation; most of the proper advice has been to try and settle with your feelings and be comfortable with your emotions and that's precisely the right thing to do. The way forward after that is up to you ... you'll know by then whether you should write, talk, ask her out for meal/drink/movie or whatever else. I hope things work out alright for you, I really do. Remember though, don't stew and bottle yourself up ... you have to act at some time or you may spend years wondering what might have been, if only... got it? Don't rush things, be confident, she'll appreciate that.

Good luck mate, I wish you well.
( madrabbi, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 16:11, archived)

heh, i've been stewing for about 3 FUCKING YEARS!
i have to do something, now.

but after whats been said i dont know whether a letter is a good idea, but its the only one i can see me doing. i couldnt talk to her in person, or even msn, about it because i would be too damn nervous (think stan and wendy in south park) but is my letter too sappy? thats just how i feel (or a portion of how i feel at any rate) i know i probably shouldnt apologise, but we are kinda good friends and she will probly find it weird that i suddenly come out with this all of a sudden and it could well jeopardise (sp?) the relationship we DO have, but thats a risk that i really have no option but to take at this point
( The Incredible... accident free since, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 16:20, archived)

man, you can do it
I fell for my very best friend... we'd known each other for 12 years before anythign "happened" and now we've been together for over 3 years.

It's hard to go in all guns a-blazing and it' probably be the wrong thing to do... if you can arrange a few ocassions where you're out together, just chatting and being mates like you already are then you'll grow closer together anyway, maybe talk about some more personal issues as things develop and eventually discuss your feelings for each other. try not to overload the poor lass or you might jeopardise your frinedship altogether, which would be bad joo-joo.
( madrabbi, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 16:25, archived)

Nice reply
Hopefully this post isn't off the board yet as I want to stick my oar in...

I was about 18 I think when I first asked someone out. I thought she was a goddess in human form (still do to a certain extent).

I didn't write a her a letter telling her how I felt, and I certainly wouldn't have typed it.

I think most people have already said the obvious - talk to her, ask her out for a drink, coffee / beer / whatever.

If you're friends already then she should be more than happy. Then see how it goes, flirt a bit and try to get up the courage to tell her how you feel.

If you don't feel you should be telling her how you feel, at least try to get her to agree to another "date" soon and take it from there.

If you're friends you've already got the best basis in the world for a good relationship, don't mess it up by sending a quite scary typed letter.

That all said, we all learn from our mistakes and if you do this and it does backfire, that's the best teacher.
(badger of doom, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 16:25, archived)

we are in
100% total agreement with an almost scary level of mindpiss to boot!
( madrabbi, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 16:26, archived)

ditto!
(deletes almost identical reply)
( L-Space - scientia sapientes vocat., Tue 3 Aug 2004, 16:27, archived)

right i have just noticed that you are nearly 20
love notes are now inexcusable
just talk to her when you start bumbling like a fool she will get the picture and if she is more mature than you will generally take over and make it allright one way or the other.

But do talk to her, and dont be pissed when you do. If dave the hat can get married i'm damn sure you can ask someone out
( Vultan the real one I threw my little yellow shoe, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 16:16, archived)

arf
arf arfarfarfarfarfarf arfarfarfarfarf arfarfarfarfarfarfarfarfarfarfarfarfarf
( madrabbi, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 16:28, archived)

*cries like a girl

( Sir Aunty Grampa Dave the Hat - Stuff happens - glee arms - more stuff - glee arms again . . . unexpected horse! - Ta! Cannaoogim!?, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 16:34, archived)

Well,
That won me over. I think I love you...
(El_Lurkio, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 16:18, archived)

That's a thought.
Incredidedideble, can you be sure she's not a b3tan? Eep!
( Newington This summer: http://www.brokenholmes.co.uk, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 16:27, archived)

she's too sensible
for the kinda shit that goes on down here
( The Incredible... accident free since, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 16:31, archived)

All that fancy letter writing will get you diddly squat.
Your best bet is to be somewhere she's going to be, preferably a place with alcohol.
Wander on over to her and just start up a conversation. The more drunk she is the more honest a response you'll get. And screw all that "let's be friends" crap, if she doesn't like you she isn't worth the time of day. (The last bit may sound harsh but I was dumped by the same girl 3 times before I realised she was an evil, manipulative bitch)
(Errol, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 16:26, archived)

man this things enormous
its gettin hard to pick the usedful stuff from the piss taking nonsense
( The Incredible... accident free since, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 16:33, archived)

Ohhh
That, my friend is a work of beauty, if she doesn't melt while reading it, check for a pulse, for the harpy will have no heart.

Mind you, I cry at anything (damn x chromsomes)
( Not just a hatstand inflamed in the membrane inflamed in the brain, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 16:39, archived)

Tell her you fancy someone else
and see what the reaction on her face is
( Dr.Dunno, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 16:55, archived)

They Deserve It !

(Unklian saying "basically" or "obviously" in all sentences, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 15:42, archived)

They do!
No blood though? Still Yay.
(Small Beer, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 15:43, archived)

I spent ages
getting the eyes to blink and the teeth to fall out then didn't save it and couldn't be bothered and got pissed off and just posted it and ....(takes breath)......AAAAAaaaaagggggrrrhh............(sits and cries in corner)
(Unklian saying "basically" or "obviously" in all sentences, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 15:47, archived)

It is still good.
Perhaps you could beat them to death with a shovel IRL to make up...?
(Small Beer, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 15:54, archived)

whoa i dig the spade...
To me.. To you.. Spang
(Catt What? well maybe.. yes?, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 15:44, archived)

they all do

( Wasp Box was gut-shot running gin, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 15:53, archived)

Harsh
but probably fair.
( mofaha, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 15:56, archived)

Yip.
Now rub salt in it
(arsechives, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 16:07, archived)

HAHAH
There is so much on here that has made me cackle extremely loudly today.

*big cheesy thumbs up*
( Mike Fishcake teamfishcake.co.uk - better than your mum's face, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 16:11, archived)

Thick Chicken

Yo!!

Check out a very funny Flash music vid I discovered on the net! Cool animation and the tune is funky too!





www.portfolioonline.net/thickchicken.htm

Enjoy!
(MickeyG, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 15:40, archived)

Discovered?
Come on, no one will mind if you say that you did it!!!

Christ, you'd probably get more compliments if you say you did it yourself!

EDIT: That is really well done though, so I'll let you off :-D
( Mike Fishcake teamfishcake.co.uk - better than your mum's face, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 16:15, archived)

...as I was saying...
Is this any better?


original at

riosthedogsdaddy
(ACE!, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 15:38, archived)

well
seeing it twice doesn't make it all THAT more amazing, no...

/bitch today
(Kundalini wants his hand back (and an fp too, thanks), Tue 3 Aug 2004, 15:40, archived)

thanks, you are so kind!
(ACE!, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 15:41, archived)

sorry
I did say I was being a bitch today..


EDIT: Oh my GOD - just looked at your profile. Are you a crazy mental person??? Argh!
(Kundalini wants his hand back (and an fp too, thanks), Tue 3 Aug 2004, 15:42, archived)

k?
(ACE!, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 16:28, archived)

James.
.
(Krowten, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 15:41, archived)

nice bit of shopping
welcome
( lemonhead, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 15:43, archived)

Nice!
I really like Rio's new 'fro!
( Finite is feeling pretty damn good, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 16:05, archived)

good day.
linky link

It's a pic I made for an art class. It's very large.
(Shalom Haknak Shalom, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 15:36, archived)

imagine
all the woo yays coming from me to your pic
( Vultan the real one I threw my little yellow shoe, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 15:37, archived)

cheers
:)
(Shalom Haknak Shalom, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 15:39, archived)

I just luuuuv Halle Berry

( xandmi TV treated, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 15:35, archived)

*wanks furiously*
*claws eyes out*

*wanks some more*
( Noit last used an unnecessary comma on, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 15:40, archived)

*grabs eyes
*uses them as 'love eggs'*

*remembers I'm not a lady*

/disappointed
( Bohica Anne Frank's Bukkaki Tentacle Storm, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 15:45, archived)

Denzel Washingtin.

(Krowten, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 15:35, archived)

If I'd have been drinking something....
...there would have been a liquid/screen interface.

*laughgroan*
( Mike Fishcake teamfishcake.co.uk - better than your mum's face, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 15:36, archived)

that is truly
excellent
(Kundalini wants his hand back (and an fp too, thanks), Tue 3 Aug 2004, 15:37, archived)

Ha ha!
Like
( Soup and a Sandwich, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 15:39, archived)

Parp!
tis a a good 'un
(arsechives, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 15:42, archived)

i especially like
the way his skin is being cleaned too... was that on purpose ?

tis very wooly done mind...
(insaniac1, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 15:48, archived)

yeah.
no.
(Krowten, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 16:00, archived)

Spectacularly racist cartoon
Background: My mum bought a load of old toys from an auction. Included in the lot was an old "playbox" annual from the 1950s. Flicking through it, I happened upon this cartoon. I actually found this book a few years ago, but whilst trawling through my hard disc, I found the scan today.

Click to maxi-grow-big.


EDIT: Been searching through google and found a couple of references to the Sambo cartoons, with some even more cracking names:

Pete the Darkie in Darkietown
( Mike Fishcake teamfishcake.co.uk - better than your mum's face, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 15:32, archived)

hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah
oh dear.
( lazygamer with new improved "MNNNNNNGGH" formula, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 15:34, archived)

"dis am
lubbly"
(dognutz, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 15:35, archived)

quick tj
sorry about this, woo to your find btw

Is there a way of altering the size of a marquee once you have drawn it?
(negative armadillo There never was much hope..just a fool's hope., Tue 3 Aug 2004, 15:35, archived)

yes,
hold down shift to add and alt to subtract from it (in photoshop)
( tweaknik, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 15:38, archived)

or selection/grow expand from the top menu

(eyebrows, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 15:41, archived)

or...
there is an option to transform selection in the select menu
(gbert, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 15:41, archived)

its the marquee itsef that I want to transform
rather than its selection, if that makes any sense at all!
(negative armadillo There never was much hope..just a fool's hope., Tue 3 Aug 2004, 15:42, archived)

hmm...
how did you make the marquee?
( tweaknik, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 15:44, archived)

I'm guessing
canvas.
( mofaha, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 16:04, archived)

depends
Did you buy the marquee from B&Q or Focus Do-It all?

You'll find most retailers will allow you to take it back and exchnge for a different size if you have your receipt....
(don't tell him Pike!!, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 15:41, archived)

this is the type of sensible advice
I like to see on b3ta
(dognutz, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 15:44, archived)

Thank You
I hope the Magic Donkey is listening if he wants a top tip for Friday.....
(don't tell him Pike!!, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 15:45, archived)

magic donkey is unaware of the existence of the board.
donkey only deals with newsletter, which is why you have to email your stuff to him.

if magic donkey found out about the board the universe would collapse.
( Thor_sonofodin https://twitter.com/Thor_sonofodin, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 15:52, archived)

Tsk
Is he a 20th or a 21st Century Donkey?? I knew he knew not of the fabled 'front page' but not of the board??

Does he not have News24??????
(don't tell him Pike!!, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 15:59, archived)

no
he's still only has a black and white telly.
( Thor_sonofodin https://twitter.com/Thor_sonofodin, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 16:05, archived)

Hahahaha
While we're at it, here's a scan of my cash card from this morning.



Goatse anyone?
( oodle doodle, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 15:36, archived)

Ha ha ha!
'Gwinnutt'!
( George Spiggott, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 15:38, archived)

What's a Gwinnutt?
( Bohica Anne Frank's Bukkaki Tentacle Storm, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 15:38, archived)

My surname. Please don't laugh.
( oodle doodle, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 15:39, archived)

Are you related to the Tagnuts of Foulness?

( Bohica Anne Frank's Bukkaki Tentacle Storm, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 15:41, archived)

I'm related to my dad
if that counts. It's a Welsh name apparently.
( oodle doodle, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 15:42, archived)

/lacks surprise
( Bohica Anne Frank's Bukkaki Tentacle Storm, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 15:42, archived)

I read that as 'Wingnut'


/sorry
(5 Lighters for a Pound, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 15:42, archived)

not only is it goatse
but it's gwinnutt. Someone, somewhere, is in a lot of pain.
(Kundalini wants his hand back (and an fp too, thanks), Tue 3 Aug 2004, 15:39, archived)

Stop posting
scans of your bank cards, people. We all know about the chip and pin conspiracy.
( roaneah the infamous exploding fruitcake, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 15:40, archived)

Pfffffffft!
Gwinnutt....

Top Shopage!
(Catt What? well maybe.. yes?, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 15:41, archived)

It's not shopped

( oodle doodle, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 15:41, archived)

dat has
some jolly notions
( Vultan the real one I threw my little yellow shoe, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 15:36, archived)

Heavens.
Animate it. ANIMATE IT HARD!!

:)
(Small Beer, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 15:38, archived)

Hahaha
Quite endearing really. Is it racist or just politically incorrect? No whiteys calling them names.
(eyebrows, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 15:39, archived)

I don't know.
But it's funny in an "oh my god, I can't believe that was in a kids' book" way :-D
( Mike Fishcake teamfishcake.co.uk - better than your mum's face, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 15:42, archived)

It's okay, it's from the 1950s
before racism was bad.

/edit: I used to collect Robinsons Gollywog badges (now sanitised as "The Robinsons Jam Man", I believe) and that was in the 80s.
( Newington This summer: http://www.brokenholmes.co.uk, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 15:42, archived)

"The Robinsons Jam Man
just underneath it says token
( Vultan the real one I threw my little yellow shoe, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 15:55, archived)

they have appropriated the name
and removed it power to hurt them quite a soffisticated resopnce for the 1950's

woo yay
( Vultan the real one I threw my little yellow shoe, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 15:43, archived)

Oh my goodness
I want to know what happens next to Sambo, Ebony and dere jolly nig pals.
( Newington This summer: http://www.brokenholmes.co.uk, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 15:41, archived)

I think my mum has another book somewhere
So next time i'm there, I'll have a look and see if there are any more cartoons of Sambo. And indeed his jolly nig crew.
( Mike Fishcake teamfishcake.co.uk - better than your mum's face, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 15:43, archived)

i brought my forend a book for christmans the other year.
ir was a reprint of 'little black sambo'.

i thought it amusing as he's the least racist person i know.
( Thor_sonofodin https://twitter.com/Thor_sonofodin, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 15:47, archived)

that's real?
i thought someone photoshopt it.
(Shalom Haknak Shalom, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 15:49, archived)

Mate
of mine has a copy of the now little-seen "Rupert on Coon Island" book...
(Wong Fei-Hung - now with added flickr.com (see profile), Tue 3 Aug 2004, 15:50, archived)

Darren was a meticulous planner


Scott
Katie
Billy
( Rev. A-MOL is lurking around these parts again, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 15:32, archived)

Am I missing something
or should I be able to read the writing?
( Flapjack - getting a bagel and playing with the lizard, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 15:34, archived)

Arse
My mate said he could read it. Lousy good-eyed bastard
( Rev. A-MOL is lurking around these parts again, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 15:35, archived)

I can make out the words
Steven, Joe, Me and And.

Edit: And Doom, now I stare.
( Flapjack - getting a bagel and playing with the lizard, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 15:38, archived)

Aha!
Woo!
( Flapjack - getting a bagel and playing with the lizard, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 15:40, archived)

What does it say?
I cant read it.
( oodle doodle, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 15:34, archived)

sorry
my monitor won't go upside down.
(Kundalini wants his hand back (and an fp too, thanks), Tue 3 Aug 2004, 15:35, archived)

You're not trying hard enough.

( supermoore: HUNG, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 15:35, archived)

sorry
i've tried and I can't be arsed anymore.
(Kundalini wants his hand back (and an fp too, thanks), Tue 3 Aug 2004, 15:38, archived)

jpeg-tastic...
Does that say 'Map of Clamidia' or is it just me?
hehe, Katie's the bestest...
( djdirect, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 15:35, archived)

Isn't that the place above the USA where they kill seals?

( Bohica Anne Frank's Bukkaki Tentacle Storm, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 15:36, archived)

Yes,
yes it is.
( djdirect, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 15:39, archived)

The Columbine Experience?

(Small Beer, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 15:36, archived)

Is he
on board?
( frox, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 15:43, archived)

Yep.
The school bus.
(Small Beer, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 15:45, archived)

He's a leftie!!
Burn him at stake!
(Krowten, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 15:37, archived)

he he
a bit of flipping and mirroring and that's ammusing :o)
( Munky Boy today I am back., Tue 3 Aug 2004, 16:04, archived)

get on board (get on board)...

(Kundalini wants his hand back (and an fp too, thanks), Tue 3 Aug 2004, 15:28, archived)

its also for kids from garstang
?
( Vultan the real one I threw my little yellow shoe, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 15:30, archived)

Bandwagon coming, I think.
Am I the only one that thinks that looks like one of those novelty light-up marital aids?

Woo the piccy. E, kids these days.

EDIT: ↓ No, it's not just me, then.
(Small Beer, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 15:31, archived)

You piss in my mind.

( Benny on the Loose; a permanent solution to a temporary problem, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 15:32, archived)

Hurrah!!!
Junior Ecstasy!

Is it just me, or does that look like a glow in the dark dildo she's carrying?

In which case, it'd be a Hurrah for Junior Glow in the Dark Dildos too!!!
( Benny on the Loose; a permanent solution to a temporary problem, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 15:31, archived)

no
it's not just you...
(Kundalini wants his hand back (and an fp too, thanks), Tue 3 Aug 2004, 15:32, archived)

That's a relief.....
Thought I was turning into a perv*

If everyone else is thinking it, that makes it ok.


*may already be too late
( Benny on the Loose; a permanent solution to a temporary problem, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 15:34, archived)

personally
I think the dildo-ishness of the objects is less amusing than the fact they appear to be standing in suspended animation, on one leg, on the stairs. Staring inanely. I love it.
(Kundalini wants his hand back (and an fp too, thanks), Tue 3 Aug 2004, 15:36, archived)

errr......ok.......

*slowly backs away*

*turns and runs very very fast*
( Benny on the Loose; a permanent solution to a temporary problem, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 15:39, archived)

oh
is that weird? hahaha


/hides in shame
(Kundalini wants his hand back (and an fp too, thanks), Tue 3 Aug 2004, 15:40, archived)

Hahahah!
Don't do it again!!

We like simple smutty humour round these parts :)
( Benny on the Loose; a permanent solution to a temporary problem, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 15:47, archived)

in new tasty blackcurrant flavour
(it's not just you ... and it makes me worry* even more what the wrench is for)


(*fantasise)
( Dr. Shambolic loverable rouge, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 15:33, archived)

Tightening his nuts....

( Benny on the Loose; a permanent solution to a temporary problem, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 15:35, archived)

the girl has frozen in catatonic horror
the boy mearly wants to remove his arm from her back passage
( Vultan the real one I threw my little yellow shoe, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 15:46, archived)

:-O
First time one of my piccies has been photoshopped.

Wooo!!
( Mike Fishcake teamfishcake.co.uk - better than your mum's face, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 15:33, archived)

edit:cheers for all teh lovely comments
//EDIT: now that i can rip ps2 footage you'll be seeing a lot of stuff like this
( SolidGoldChimp, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 15:23, archived)

Ban
This Slick Firth Now!!!!
( The Neville - Where's my farm? Here's my motherfuckin' farm, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 15:24, archived)

thats not nazi cat killer
thats time splitters 2!

i recognizify it
( The Incredible... accident free since, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 15:24, archived)

woo!!!
wasn't as good as game as Achtung Allied Dog Splatter though


timesplitters 2?
loved that game...

( djdirect, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 15:25, archived)

hahahaha

( Kris Fucking Kristofferson won't somebody think about Jade!, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 15:26, archived)

player 2 has entered the game
don't you have work

player 2 has left the game

/SotD
( The Incredible... accident free since, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 15:26, archived)

hmm?
Shaun of the Dead?

Still not seen that yet, damned British cinema not being exported abroad.

Damn you!!!
*shakes fist at foreign cinema*
( djdirect, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 15:29, archived)

...sorry......

(eyebrows, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 15:35, archived)

Oh nice.
If only it was real. And I had a Playstation.
(Small Beer, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 15:25, archived)

KILL DEATH
DEATH KILL
meow
DEATH KILL
KILL DEATH
( Kris Fucking Kristofferson won't somebody think about Jade!, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 15:26, archived)

Couldn't get past level 2..
Bastard Cat kept strapping dynamite to my arse
(flibbertigibbet, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 15:26, archived)

hah hah hah hah
fantastic giferization
( lazygamer with new improved "MNNNNNNGGH" formula, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 15:27, archived)

(fcknuts, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 15:30, archived)

That are
teh woo.
( Noit last used an unnecessary comma on, Tue 3 Aug 2004, 15:31, archived)