Question time, American style...

Apologies for the big file.
( Mushroom, Fri 28 Mar 2003, 23:47, archived)

bush looks like he cant hold it in!

( ? .[]D.[].[]0[].[]D. ?, Fri 28 Mar 2003, 23:48, archived)

I thought he was going to answer
"Anyone"

Splendidly done.
( Tart Monkey, Fri 28 Mar 2003, 23:49, archived)

hehe.
read Castrol first time i saw it :)
( bumblebee.. I am not a number! I am a free snail!, Fri 28 Mar 2003, 23:50, archived)

Shame it's so accurate
:)
( Quelabra Search Guard Successor, Fri 28 Mar 2003, 23:50, archived)

Sluuuuuurp!

( Quelabra Search Guard Successor, Fri 28 Mar 2003, 23:37, archived)

Yes!
Kitten getting the last bit of the milkshake.
Why restrain the others though?
( Duncan Disorderly, Fri 28 Mar 2003, 23:39, archived)

"Honey, they've
got at your colostomy again"
( Sandman-uk, Fri 28 Mar 2003, 23:41, archived)

ewww
whole new level!


( Roxy_Hart is taking advantage of you all, Fri 28 Mar 2003, 23:44, archived)

"Honey, I Drank The Skids!"

( Professor Fnord Regius Professor of B3ta Chronology, Fri 28 Mar 2003, 23:45, archived)

Woop! Woop! Woop!
Massive bad pun alert! This is not a drill!
( witchy :: Best before:, Fri 28 Mar 2003, 23:49, archived)

He's not syphoning something is he?
...with his mates are ready with the fuel can. If so, he could spit it out...
( Duncan Disorderly, Fri 28 Mar 2003, 23:45, archived)

slurp
that shake

before the other get there
( The Barn death and angels save us all, Fri 28 Mar 2003, 23:45, archived)

awww, sweet!
woo und yay!
( Mushroom, Fri 28 Mar 2003, 23:50, archived)

Aww
look at them eyes!
( bigdave, Fri 28 Mar 2003, 23:54, archived)

Donald outlines his new plans
for having a new 3-D effect military headquarters

( bigdave, Fri 28 Mar 2003, 23:36, archived)

Ow...
My mind hurts just trying to thinking of that...
Imagine the lifts for a start???
( GigerPunk has, most likely, slept since, Fri 28 Mar 2003, 23:40, archived)

They go
in and out, rather than up and down.
( bigdave, Fri 28 Mar 2003, 23:46, archived)

good old Donald!
always thinking ahead!

/repost "with all negotiations failing Donald tried offering the UN a pie"
( whizzbang, Fri 28 Mar 2003, 23:41, archived)

I'd go for it
Beefs pie...
( bigdave, Fri 28 Mar 2003, 23:43, archived)

So simple
Yet so wonderful.
(puttysan, Sat 29 Mar 2003, 12:18, archived)

.

( Sandman-uk, Fri 28 Mar 2003, 23:35, archived)

that
made me laugh
( The Barn death and angels save us all, Fri 28 Mar 2003, 23:37, archived)

( ? .[]D.[].[]0[].[]D. ?, Fri 28 Mar 2003, 23:33, archived)

a well..
lol took me ages to =( night all!
( ? .[]D.[].[]0[].[]D. ?, Fri 28 Mar 2003, 23:45, archived)

I likes
that, so I does
( bob dinosaur, Sat 29 Mar 2003, 0:22, archived)

yup, ya got it

( The Barn death and angels save us all, Fri 28 Mar 2003, 23:32, archived)

Hard not to
round here :o) Just needs the big bridge over the top!
( witchy :: Best before:, Fri 28 Mar 2003, 23:33, archived)

yeah
tried that,
but thought it looked a little too much, glad it work though : )
( The Barn death and angels save us all, Fri 28 Mar 2003, 23:35, archived)

Ah, Took me a while...
But I gots it!

Woo!
(Xx Torn Kittie xX, Fri 28 Mar 2003, 23:34, archived)

You...
...should get an award for that.

clicky
( Mystery_Bob, Fri 28 Mar 2003, 23:37, archived)

yup
thats the one that got me thinking.

it's took it on a whole new level
( The Barn death and angels save us all, Fri 28 Mar 2003, 23:39, archived)

Arf!
I missed the unveiling of that one!
( witchy :: Best before:, Fri 28 Mar 2003, 23:40, archived)

Woo!
That's very clever
( Quelabra Search Guard Successor, Fri 28 Mar 2003, 23:39, archived)

Got it!
I was thinking on totally the wrong lines initially...

/dirtymind
( Duncan Disorderly, Fri 28 Mar 2003, 23:42, archived)

what he said.

( bumblebee.. I am not a number! I am a free snail!, Fri 28 Mar 2003, 23:45, archived)

Nope
I aint having a bar of it!

I dont understand...
(Fellmeister, Sat 29 Mar 2003, 0:22, archived)

If Hitler won the war...


(There'd've been no free speech...no interweb, & no B3ta!)
( Arecibo Otherwise known as @®£©1ß0, Fri 28 Mar 2003, 23:30, archived)

ha ha ha...
...Damn those evil Nazis!
( Mystery_Bob, Fri 28 Mar 2003, 23:33, archived)

hate to admit it
i'm redexing.. anyone?
( rosey i'm on ur {noun}, {verb}ing ur {noun}, Fri 28 Mar 2003, 23:33, archived)

jah

( ? .[]D.[].[]0[].[]D. ?, Fri 28 Mar 2003, 23:34, archived)

me too

( bumblebee.. I am not a number! I am a free snail!, Fri 28 Mar 2003, 23:35, archived)

oooooooh!
it's animated!
damn that Mirconsoft Explorer!
( bumblebee.. I am not a number! I am a free snail!, Fri 28 Mar 2003, 23:54, archived)

check...
...the filename.
( Mystery_Bob, Fri 28 Mar 2003, 23:38, archived)

Oh yes.
That made me chuckle heartly. Woo Aricebo.
( kaydup, Fri 28 Mar 2003, 23:44, archived)

> 10 ? "that is brilliant"
> 20 GOTO 10
> RUN
( WhoElse I'm what Willis was talking about, Thu 3 Apr 2003, 16:37, archived)

Hitler JuGals (nsfw)
nsfw clicky

Hitlerowskie eksperymenty genetyczne niektórych doprowadziły do spazmów.
(repcak, Fri 28 Mar 2003, 23:29, archived)

...
Jestem rzeczywiście Polski także. Mój rodzina jest z miasto od Wałbrzych.
( Mystery_Bob, Fri 28 Mar 2003, 23:35, archived)

Good to know
that somebody understands.
(repcak, Fri 28 Mar 2003, 23:42, archived)

:)
( Mystery_Bob, Fri 28 Mar 2003, 23:45, archived)

That's a crackin'
pair of swastikas!
( witchy :: Best before:, Fri 28 Mar 2003, 23:38, archived)

nazi nipples?
that's sick!
nice girl though - but prolly NotSafeForWork..
( bumblebee.. I am not a number! I am a free snail!, Fri 28 Mar 2003, 23:44, archived)

If Hitler won the war...
The fear would ride a kitty while wearing cowboy hats.



Think about it... You know it makes sense deep down inside...
(Xx Torn Kittie xX, Fri 28 Mar 2003, 23:27, archived)

heh heh heh heh
you feeling better luv?
( Roxy_Hart is taking advantage of you all, Fri 28 Mar 2003, 23:29, archived)

^-^
Very much so, thank you!
(Xx Torn Kittie xX, Fri 28 Mar 2003, 23:31, archived)

Good
That's nice to hear
( Roxy_Hart is taking advantage of you all, Fri 28 Mar 2003, 23:33, archived)

Ah yes...
of course - it makes perfect sense...

nurse!
( Mystery_Bob, Fri 28 Mar 2003, 23:29, archived)

Hell, stuff like that
makes sense even up top :)
( witchy :: Best before:, Fri 28 Mar 2003, 23:32, archived)

YAY!
I love b3ta. Only ones that understand me.
(Xx Torn Kittie xX, Fri 28 Mar 2003, 23:33, archived)

The best thing is when you
use a standard b3ta phrase when yer talking to someone who isn't on the board, and they look at you like you're nuts or summat. Which I suppose must be right, otherwise we wouldn't be here :)
( witchy :: Best before:, Fri 28 Mar 2003, 23:34, archived)

HAH
I know. Just the other day my friend did something neato, can't remember what, but I shouted out. "That is a load of hummus! Woo! Yay!"

Ah, the looks I got were priceless...
(Xx Torn Kittie xX, Fri 28 Mar 2003, 23:36, archived)

and up until
this point that phrase didn't exist!
( witchy :: Best before:, Fri 28 Mar 2003, 23:41, archived)

arf
that thread still has the power to make me laugh
( Spoon, Fri 28 Mar 2003, 23:57, archived)

oh wow!
i've been wondering how that started!
we should make a little link page for all of those.
(Monkeypuppet, Fri 28 Mar 2003, 23:58, archived)

i believe
that someone has done just that. possibly bananaman
( Spoon, Fri 28 Mar 2003, 23:59, archived)

Kinda makes sense
:)
( Quelabra Search Guard Successor, Fri 28 Mar 2003, 23:40, archived)

Just give her some food dear, I think this one means business...

clicky wallpaper size
( whizzbang, Fri 28 Mar 2003, 23:22, archived)

thass lovely,
right down to the shadow! Smart :)
( witchy :: Best before:, Fri 28 Mar 2003, 23:28, archived)

Is it...
..one of them Moroccan ones?
( Scaryduck - twitter.com/duckorange, Fri 28 Mar 2003, 23:32, archived)

dunno..
tried to get one of the gibralter ones but couldn't find a good picture for it...
( whizzbang, Fri 28 Mar 2003, 23:33, archived)

He was one of the most popular miners

*CLICK* for biggie!
They let him hold the pickaxe!
(Fluxor, Fri 28 Mar 2003, 23:21, archived)

And that...
...is why miners are not allowed to buy alcohol or drive cars.

Nicely done btw.
( Mystery_Bob, Fri 28 Mar 2003, 23:27, archived)

but they ARE allowed
to design 2 of the best known home computers :) Jay Miner had a hand in designing both the Atari VCS and the Commodore Amiga 1000.
</end g33k news>
( witchy :: Best before:, Fri 28 Mar 2003, 23:29, archived)

Was he related...
...to Willy?

That's another miner inolved in a calssic game (or two).
( Mystery_Bob, Fri 28 Mar 2003, 23:30, archived)

I don't think so,
no Miners were hurt (that I know of) during the creation of those 2 systems unless Jay got a paper cut on some documentation. Or stabbed himself with an opened paperclip, and we've all done that! haven't we?
( witchy :: Best before:, Fri 28 Mar 2003, 23:36, archived)

Too many times...
...to mention. People don't always realise the dangers that await you on a daily basis, when you work in an office environment.
( Mystery_Bob, Fri 28 Mar 2003, 23:39, archived)

Imagine the horrors!
Burning the roof of your mouth with coffee! Accidentally trapping some of the skin on your finger in a bulldog clip! Testing how staplers work using your thumb! Discovering how nasty staple removers can actually be! Trying to stab a cow-orker with a letter opener just as you discover they've got the same militaristic uses as bricks! the openers, not the cow-orkers, though this issue is open to a mass debate
( witchy :: Best before:, Fri 28 Mar 2003, 23:44, archived)

Cow Orkers?
That sounds like a pic in the making...
( GigerPunk has, most likely, slept since, Fri 28 Mar 2003, 23:54, archived)

searh b3ta for orking or orkers and see a ton :)

( Professor Fnord Regius Professor of B3ta Chronology, Fri 28 Mar 2003, 23:56, archived)

Yeah, but
Cow orkers would surely be people forcing cows to Ork?
( GigerPunk has, most likely, slept since, Fri 28 Mar 2003, 23:58, archived)

Very nice 'shopping

( Quelabra Search Guard Successor, Fri 28 Mar 2003, 23:41, archived)

Le Voyage de Cyclisme
Hello,

My name is Chris and i am writing to you to show you a video that me and my friend made of our bike ride to college. However we've modified it a little and as i've almost been hit by a car a few times whilst making it, I would like a few people to see it .So erm hope you enjoy it.

---
The video is at: www.chrisemerson.co.uk
Just click play to watch it, it should stream on any connection more than 200k.

Thanks,
Chris
(Nade, Fri 28 Mar 2003, 23:17, archived)

1. bikes are ace
2. that is ace.
3. bicyclette has 2 Ts
4. welcome to b3ta, i love you
[edit]
5. the chap in front has the spindliest legs in the world
( new_matt, Fri 28 Mar 2003, 23:19, archived)

Fuckadoo...
ther'es nothing there?
(dernuke - ARTCRAP, Fri 28 Mar 2003, 23:21, archived)

That's quite ironic...
...because I took a video of myself driving a car and I nearly hit several cyclists doing it!

BTW is that a glowing red cock at the bottom of the picture?
( Mystery_Bob, Fri 28 Mar 2003, 23:21, archived)

chris emerson.
Not the Irish fella from Trinity College Oxford who worked/possibly still works with a certain D.G, also from Trinity College, at the I.G?

Gwarrrrrrrrrn, is it you, sir?

[edit] No it isn't. Oh well.
[edit] Notwithstanding it's a lovely bit of film-making, I'm so disappointed I'm going to bed. Good night.
( Dr Phil Kitten, Fri 28 Mar 2003, 23:25, archived)

have you been writing
your own prescriptions again Doctor?
( pep, Fri 28 Mar 2003, 23:28, archived)

no.
Mmm, ooh look, these ones are blue and yello, I wonder what they do?

*scroffs*

'Night all!
( Dr Phil Kitten, Fri 28 Mar 2003, 23:30, archived)

THE HUFF! THE HUFF! THE HUFF! THE HUFF! THE HUFF! THE HUFF! THE HUFF! THE HUFF! THE HUFF! etc

:o)
( witchy :: Best before:, Fri 28 Mar 2003, 23:30, archived)

He he he...
...I'd like to see a visual realisation of 'The Huff'.
( Mystery_Bob, Fri 28 Mar 2003, 23:31, archived)

you wouldnt
dear god

you wouldnt.
( rosey i'm on ur {noun}, {verb}ing ur {noun}, Fri 28 Mar 2003, 23:35, archived)

Is that
some relation to the Fear?
( DontHaveAClue, Fri 28 Mar 2003, 23:35, archived)

Aye, it's
the FEAR that's just discovered nobody's scared of it.
( witchy :: Best before:, Fri 28 Mar 2003, 23:46, archived)

err
NO...I'm from Nottingham :o
(Nade, Fri 28 Mar 2003, 23:35, archived)

that's great
bikes are great
where IS that?
(penfold, Fri 28 Mar 2003, 23:29, archived)

I like it
2nd benny hill music using thing i've seen today too!. It reminds me of Fear & Loathing with the wobbly worldness of it.

Send it to rob@b3ta.co.uk and it might go in the newsletter for next week.
I'm gonna check out your other films when this has finished.
I did this last night
www.fnord.pwp.blueyonder.co.uk/FnordDeathstar.avi Pardon the size please.
( Professor Fnord Regius Professor of B3ta Chronology, Fri 28 Mar 2003, 23:32, archived)

none of the links work then,
oh well. I'll bookmark it for later.
( Professor Fnord Regius Professor of B3ta Chronology, Fri 28 Mar 2003, 23:40, archived)

You n utter
That's great!
( Boot, Fri 28 Mar 2003, 23:34, archived)

Oh god
It's made me travel sick.

BLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!

Sorry.

Woo, by the way.
( Scaryduck - twitter.com/duckorange, Fri 28 Mar 2003, 23:36, archived)

Woo To You
Boy on a Bike...
( Duncan Disorderly, Fri 28 Mar 2003, 23:37, archived)

That am grate
spesh like the Benny Hill part. Even the speech is sped up. Woo yay houpla you.
( kaydup, Fri 28 Mar 2003, 23:57, archived)

ok, so apologies, but it is late on friday
and i'm trying stuff. so sue me ;)


( new_matt, Fri 28 Mar 2003, 23:16, archived)

ahahahahaha
I want a mini MC hammer dancing on my bump!
( Roxy_Hart is taking advantage of you all, Fri 28 Mar 2003, 23:19, archived)

One of the most disturbing insights into the human mind...
You'll see all night.

I salute you....
( Tart Monkey, Fri 28 Mar 2003, 23:19, archived)

hahahaha!
Hammer time!
( Kaiser, Fri 28 Mar 2003, 23:20, archived)

every woman
is an island..
( bumblebee.. I am not a number! I am a free snail!, Fri 28 Mar 2003, 23:27, archived)

( Kaiser, Fri 28 Mar 2003, 23:14, archived)

That looks kinda...
Kinky
( Roxy_Hart is taking advantage of you all, Fri 28 Mar 2003, 23:15, archived)

We never know
what happens when they close the doors!
btw: Are you still pregnant?
( Kaiser, Fri 28 Mar 2003, 23:17, archived)

yes
goddammit!
( Roxy_Hart is taking advantage of you all, Fri 28 Mar 2003, 23:20, archived)

ow..
I'm sorry if it's painful!
8(
( Kaiser, Fri 28 Mar 2003, 23:21, archived)

not painful
just uncomfortable
and it doesn't help that my back's shot!

anyway enough about me...How's you?
( Roxy_Hart is taking advantage of you all, Fri 28 Mar 2003, 23:25, archived)

Just got a new supply
of Ceres Royal Export beers, so I guess that I'm fine!
8D
( Kaiser, Fri 28 Mar 2003, 23:28, archived)

been to germany again??
or do you have a 'local' supplier ;)
( bumblebee.. I am not a number! I am a free snail!, Fri 28 Mar 2003, 23:52, archived)

Local supplier!
8)
( Kaiser, Fri 28 Mar 2003, 23:54, archived)

LOL!!
Undskyld, har jeg ikke set dig i en tysk pornofilm?
( Coprolite, Fri 28 Mar 2003, 23:16, archived)

endnu en dansker??
:)
( bumblebee.. I am not a number! I am a free snail!, Fri 28 Mar 2003, 23:17, archived)

noooo
just one of those useful phrases everyone should have
( Coprolite, Fri 28 Mar 2003, 23:19, archived)

hahahahaha!
8D
( Kaiser, Fri 28 Mar 2003, 23:19, archived)

Hva' satan I det hede hule helvede!
Er du dansk????
( Kaiser, Fri 28 Mar 2003, 23:18, archived)

Damn youse...
and there I was thinking of doing something along those lines...Seeing as our monarchs are German anyway...kinda
( GigerPunk has, most likely, slept since, Fri 28 Mar 2003, 23:18, archived)

thought you might appreciate this
www.fourpaws.org/contributions/WhatHampster.html
'tis almost my 1st b3ta birthday, woo! better start posting then hadn't i
( Red wine and cheese., Fri 28 Mar 2003, 23:14, archived)

Why Do They Have To Make Catnip So Goddam Pure?!!!

(the_hammerhead_tart -- In love with a strict machine, Fri 28 Mar 2003, 23:11, archived)

Wooooooo.
Blimey.
( Tart Monkey, Fri 28 Mar 2003, 23:12, archived)

Finish...the fucking... story...
What about the glands?
(60days, Fri 28 Mar 2003, 23:17, archived)

The Doctor is IN...
...deep trouble.
(the_hammerhead_tart -- In love with a strict machine, Fri 28 Mar 2003, 23:23, archived)

they promise a virtual lapdancer on your desktop..

and this is what you get.that, and popups that you can never get rid of, I mean my P.C.'s got more trojans in it than a roman epic...and I've broken my foot and all my mates have gone out to the pub and left me here on my own,...
( legohead, Fri 28 Mar 2003, 23:10, archived)

looks like...
...a lonely night in with Spybot for you then.

Woo to the pic though!
( Mystery_Bob, Fri 28 Mar 2003, 23:13, archived)

you mean
Spybot - search & destroy?
( bumblebee.. I am not a number! I am a free snail!, Fri 28 Mar 2003, 23:16, archived)

That's the one...
...just the ticket to remove nasty leftovers after trawling through the porn world to satisfy my most base carnal instincts looking for anthropological reasearch.
( Mystery_Bob, Fri 28 Mar 2003, 23:19, archived)

..been checking National Geographics again?
;)
( bumblebee.. I am not a number! I am a free snail!, Fri 28 Mar 2003, 23:48, archived)

snigger
pedant - the trojan horse thing is Greek
( Roxy_Hart is taking advantage of you all, Fri 28 Mar 2003, 23:13, archived)

Wrong!
S'trojan, innit.
(the_hammerhead_tart -- In love with a strict machine, Fri 28 Mar 2003, 23:16, archived)

Ah, oh, no, hang on...
...er. What was the question again?
(the_hammerhead_tart -- In love with a strict machine, Fri 28 Mar 2003, 23:17, archived)

Oh dear
That looks like my freinds dad, well from the neck upwards.. I hope
(Ahoyhoy, Fri 28 Mar 2003, 23:16, archived)

sorry to waste
i'm trying to ooptimise a .gif in imageready but i'm having real trouble keeping the file size down. any tips?
( new_matt, Fri 28 Mar 2003, 23:07, archived)

Reduce the size
of the actualy picture if you can...cut off what really isn't needed at all...
( Az The Spaz, Fri 28 Mar 2003, 23:10, archived)

errm
turn dither off
reduce the colours
perhaps put lossy up a bit (makes it look more shite, but reduces the filesize quite a lot)
reduce the pic size?

that sorta thing
( Mushroom, Fri 28 Mar 2003, 23:11, archived)

crop like a mad thing
then crop some more
( Professor Fnord Regius Professor of B3ta Chronology, Fri 28 Mar 2003, 23:11, archived)

thank you
mushroom (i want to know your real name dagnabit) and fnord. i thin i'll stick to cheap one-line jokes!
( new_matt, Fri 28 Mar 2003, 23:17, archived)

Just so it isn't a complete threadwaste...
I'd like to try my new woo...

Kinda on-topic, seeing as it's an animated gif...
( GigerPunk has, most likely, slept since, Fri 28 Mar 2003, 23:16, archived)

oog it's good
goshdarnyou ;)
( new_matt, Fri 28 Mar 2003, 23:34, archived)

Well,
half the work was done for me by imageready...
All I really did was add the text and crop it a bit...(well, a lot)
( GigerPunk has, most likely, slept since, Fri 28 Mar 2003, 23:35, archived)

make sure...
...there is no unnecessary movement, like a frame wobble.

It bumps the file size up by a considerable margin.

Oh and try reducing the frame size - you can usually reduce it quite a lot without affecting the overall effect of the anim. You can always do a clicky link to the bigger one too.
( Mystery_Bob, Fri 28 Mar 2003, 23:24, archived)

A gif of a zebra
has a smaller filesize if it is sideways*

*100%Fact
It's to do with the way gifs compress, you see- a gif is a bit like a painting by numbers, it has a limited pallet to work with, gives each colour a number & then says "ok- let's start paint the picture" & then lists the whole picture as a series of numbers, running (I think) left to right & top to bottom (the same way we read). If the same colour (say colour 5) occurs 10 times in a row, it doesn't say "5,5,5,5,5,5,5,5,5,5", it says "5*10".
So in the zebra example earlier, if the zebra is right way up, it has to say "black, white, black, white, black, white, black, white, black, white" but if the zebra is on it's side (the image, not the zebra, obviously), the gif then has lots of "black*lots, white*lots", which makes the overall file size smaller.

When it comes to an animation, it doesn't bother recording pixels that don't change between frames, so if things judder about, it faithfully sticks 'em in the file, which makes the filesize a lot bigger...

[edit] took so long to write this it had dissapeared off the screen before I posted it.

Bugger!
( Duncan Disorderly, Fri 28 Mar 2003, 23:58, archived)