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This is a link post The contraptions have started!!!
\o/

Hopefully it's not just a really big bottom burp!
(, Mon 17 Jul 2017, 13:18, Reply)
This is a normal post Good luck mate

(, Mon 17 Jul 2017, 13:24, Reply)
This is a normal post All the best!
Have some gas and air for me.
(, Mon 17 Jul 2017, 13:25, Reply)
This is a normal post Prepare to see a very different side of your other half
and be prepared to lose all feeling in your hand as she squeezes it like a hydraulic vice.

Good luck, hope it all goes well!
(, Mon 17 Jul 2017, 13:44, Reply)
This is a normal post remember, you're no help whatsoever in this situation
You're there so the midwives have someone to roll their eyes at
(, Mon 17 Jul 2017, 13:54, Reply)
This is a normal post Good luck! Hope you've got a private room reserved once the baby is born.
Obvs stick the missus and baby out on the ward, but you'll need some peace & quiet.
(, Mon 17 Jul 2017, 14:08, Reply)
This is a normal post hahah

(, Mon 17 Jul 2017, 15:29, Reply)
This is a normal post I hope you're taking food
take a lot of food
All the best
(, Mon 17 Jul 2017, 15:20, Reply)
This is a normal post I'm not sure that eating popcorn during the birth will go down all that well.

(, Mon 17 Jul 2017, 17:17, Reply)
This is a normal post I just hope it is healthy
After the couple of years of screaming and shitting there is the terrible two's that lasts until they are about 25.

I have heard there are about 10 minutes between the ages of 4 and 7 where they smile.

Enjoy them.
(, Mon 17 Jul 2017, 16:19, Reply)
This is a normal post I just wanted to say, good luck.
We're all counting on you.
(, Mon 17 Jul 2017, 17:20, Reply)
This is a normal post You're fucked.
And not in a good way.
(, Mon 17 Jul 2017, 17:38, Reply)
This is a normal post everything is going to be 'ok'...
try a 'primal scream' (not the band obv) during the push bits...


\o/
(, Mon 17 Jul 2017, 17:53, Reply)
This is a normal post Good luck with it all
See if you can get kicked out of the delivery room for abusing the gas and air.
If not order a kebab and have delivered while you wait for the half time interlude cos you know exactly when you take the first bite she will start the eviction process
(, Mon 17 Jul 2017, 18:01, Reply)
This is a normal post After this experience.
A kebab might not be quite so attractive.
(, Mon 17 Jul 2017, 20:58, Reply)
This is a normal post BE prepared for the mountains of piss, shit and sick.
Good luck, take a hip flask
(, Mon 17 Jul 2017, 18:59, Reply)
This is a normal post don't do what I did first time
and leave half way through, get totally wrecked, then come back again. The fucking witches notice.
(, Mon 17 Jul 2017, 19:04, Reply)
This is a normal post Don't hang out at the business end
It's like watching your favourite pub burn down
(, Mon 17 Jul 2017, 19:24, Reply)
This is a normal post Hahaha

(, Mon 17 Jul 2017, 22:27, Reply)
This is a normal post All the best dude

The first three months are pretty shit. Sleep whenever you can, it gets easier and more rewarding. Don't forget to start bending your new arrival at the earliest convenience in order to ensure you have your very own contortionist when he/she gets older ;o)
(, Mon 17 Jul 2017, 19:41, Reply)
This is a normal post STAY AT THE TALKING END!!!1!

(, Mon 17 Jul 2017, 20:32, Reply)
This is a normal post I hope all goes well.

(, Mon 17 Jul 2017, 20:56, Reply)