I wish this was a pardoy but I think it's serious
"I usually wake up at 6:30am, and start with some Kundalini meditation and a 23-minute breath set—along with a copper cup of silver needle and calendula tea—before my son Rohan wakes."
idea for foodblog "I wake up about 8AM when my alarm clock goes off. I'm still in last nights clothes having come home from the pub around 1AM. I am still drunk and there is a half eaten kebab on the bedroom floor. This serves as today's breakfast. It is Tuesday."
pardoy. fuck it. I know. but it looks funny so im leaving it
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colmcq2, Fri 5 Feb 2016, 13:44,
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"deeply mineralizing thanks to the sea vegetables,"
snigger
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colmcq2, Fri 5 Feb 2016, 13:48,
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She named her son after over-priced leisurewear?
What a cow.
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fred zeppelin II: Electric Boogaloo, Fri 5 Feb 2016, 14:04,
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or a land in middle earth
Daughter called Spanglefracks the Benevolence
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colmcq2, Fri 5 Feb 2016, 15:57,
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They were holistic and covered in fresh milk squeeze from bats
I'm a new person now.
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spazzcaptain Misses Valin @, Fri 5 Feb 2016, 23:08,
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No mention of partner / husband
Probably driven off by the noisome fug of her disgusting bowel movements.
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Mr Mann I love pigs, best of all the animals, Fri 5 Feb 2016, 14:18,
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"You know what darling? I think I might take that job in the Shanghai office after all."
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fred zeppelin II: Electric Boogaloo, Fri 5 Feb 2016, 15:08,
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She adds scare quotes round "drive through"
Because that's what it does, not where she picks it up from.
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Tonsil is slowly atrophying, Fri 5 Feb 2016, 15:31,
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scare quotes make me nervous.
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evil_andy Stick stick stick stick sticky sticky stick stick, Fri 5 Feb 2016, 16:31,
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I've just eaten three bags of frazzles.
full of bacony loveliness.
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herd of chickens First part only £1.99 and comes with a free, Fri 5 Feb 2016, 14:24,
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I thought buying cordyceps fungus for health benefits was part of the joke.
Apprently not. WTF?
People want to eat the stuff that does this to a tarantula:
www.strangerdimensions.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/cordyceps-tarantula.jpg
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joefish It's hard for thee to kick against the pricks, Fri 5 Feb 2016, 14:26,
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If it makes me look that fabulous:
I'll have three bags please.
(, Fri 5 Feb 2016, 14:33, Share, Reply)
I've eaten that. Or not, as the majority are fakes anyway.
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omnitruncatedkraken from Empire Algol, Fri 5 Feb 2016, 15:53,
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imagine eating that day in, day out while having the surname Bacon
Every signature must be exquisite torture
(, Fri 5 Feb 2016, 14:27, Share, Reply)
I know some of the ingredients, or even half of them.
I think they were chosen according to alien names.
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omnitruncatedkraken from Empire Algol, Fri 5 Feb 2016, 14:27,
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I haven't bothered to read any of this yet.
I'm at work. I'm pretty sure even work would be more enlightening than this.
I hovered over the link though. What the hell kind of name is Amanda Chantal Bacon Moon Juice?!
(, Fri 5 Feb 2016, 14:31, Share, Reply)
All that stuff is not cheap.
The amount she spends in a week could probably feed a family of 4 for a month.
(, Fri 5 Feb 2016, 15:08, Share, Reply)
that's what i thought
must be fifty quid a day
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tickle I was away, Sat 6 Feb 2016, 11:12,
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Worse than all that...
...she says she's "on my way to the school drop off, drunk in the car!". Think of poor Rohan.
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Tonsil is slowly atrophying, Fri 5 Feb 2016, 15:15,
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She seems to spend all day eating and making food
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The invisible ham Fig rolls are the best, Fri 5 Feb 2016, 15:43,
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Well, she has to shift 16oz bags of 'activated' cashews
at $21 apiece www.moonjuiceshop.com/shop/1495/activated-cashews
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Mudface The web isn't callipygian, Fri 5 Feb 2016, 15:53,
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Toxic nuts!
The best kind!
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omnitruncatedkraken from Empire Algol, Fri 5 Feb 2016, 15:58,
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soak them in Buddhist monk urine?
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Mudface The web isn't callipygian, Fri 5 Feb 2016, 16:03,
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But make sure to crack the shells
To allow the flavour to penetrate.
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Tonsil is slowly atrophying, Fri 5 Feb 2016, 16:16,
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"Pure, alkaline water awakens the nuts' dormant properties, increasing digestibility and micronutrient, vitamin, and enzyme count."
snake oil
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colmcq2, Fri 5 Feb 2016, 16:43,
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"do you really need to activate your nuts?"
interesting (and seemingly sensible) article - clicky
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custard, Fri 5 Feb 2016, 18:44,
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Go to Edit -> Preferences -> Nut Settings
Select "Cashew" in the "Type of Nut" drop down under the active nuts list, and click Add Nut.
(, Fri 5 Feb 2016, 17:25, Share, Reply)
Climb a hill in a thunderstorm
Raise one fist full of cashew nuts to the heavens and scream "CASHEW NUTS... ACTIVATE!!!"
If you time it just right the lightning will activate your nuts.
However if you time it wrong you're going to need new trousers.
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evil_andy Stick stick stick stick sticky sticky stick stick, Fri 5 Feb 2016, 20:28,
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Activating them is easy...
...you should try deactivating them again!
(, Fri 5 Feb 2016, 21:47, Share, Reply)
Should she not be a vacuous Hollywood actress? Self important trite excuse for skin, does make I barf with lafter.
(, Fri 5 Feb 2016, 18:11, Share, Reply)
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mr.dogshit The world's premier anthropomorphic canine faeces, Fri 5 Feb 2016, 22:20,
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I've checked the comments carefully and can find no-one who spotted the......
obvious vegan/vegetarian named Bacon joke? Come on b3ta, look lively.
As for the blog, I hope pouring boiling water into a copper mug with various unimaginable items gets her everything she needs. And she stops crowing about it.
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NooShmoo It's a fantazmagorical pile of ultra bollocks, Sat 6 Feb 2016, 15:25,
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