Me ranting about Ryanair on BBC News this morning
I made this!
Not remotely interesting in itself unless you're a musician...but you can see my pants at 0:58. I really wish I'd worn nicer pants... :(
(, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 14:37, Reply)
So let me just clarify
You posted a video of you in your knickers on here.
*sits back to watch the comments*
PS - good points made about the story at hand. Bloody air carriers!
(, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 14:41, Reply)
I bet you say that to all the girls, you schmoozer you
...mines a pint of stella ta
(
wideeye slightly pickled, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 14:53,
Reply)
only when I like thier pants
I haven't seen yours yet, I'll hold off on the pint of 'ol wife beater' till then
(
Bamboo Steamer, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 16:07,
Reply)
Wow,
is that you?
You are truly beautiful... is what I was thinking when I was fapping this morning.
no really, you are lully :-D
(, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 14:48, Reply)
hey I saw that story in a newspaper
amusing to know it was a b3tan
(
rob twitter.com/robmanuel is following you, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 14:49,
Reply)
admit it, being in a newspaper you assumed it would be a 4chan user :D
(
HappyToast was waiting for the Dredd trailer on, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 14:50,
Reply)
It wasn't me with the original story, that was a 12-year-old
They just got me on to rant about it on behalf of musicians. Incidentally, they sent a chauffeur-driven mercedes to take me to the studio at stupid o'clock in the morning. Outrageous! Next time I shall tell them I don't get up that early in the morning for less than a Bentley :P
(, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 14:58, Reply)
I watched this while doing my ironing.
And thought you did very well not to hit the lady next to you with your 'cello and say "SEE? It's not a sodding VIOLIN, it's a 'cello."
Incidentally, this is why I quit playing cello and stuck to the tuba. They're frankly nigh-on indestructible, and my hard case carries a note for baggage handlers saying "not very fragile unless you try really hard". Because I'd quite like the insurance really.
(
prince-igor si tacuisses, philosophus mansisses, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 14:50,
Reply)
I'm sorry but there's no way that cello will fit into an overhead locker.
Why should you be different to anyone else taking excess baggage just because you're a musician?
Also, you should have taken the knickers off and worn a skirt and had a 'Basic Instinct' moment. Natasha Kaplinsky does it all the time.
(
planearm, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 14:50,
Reply)
Well...
We have to buy extra seats because our instruments can't go in the hold, being as they are too delicate for that. Cellists have been buying extra seats since forever; the issue is that they're now making violinists and viola players buy extra seats despite the fact that their instruments *do* fit into the lockers. Grr.
(, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 14:54, Reply)
I have that problem with my Harmonica!
(
McMookMac a member of Cunts of the Internet, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 16:26,
Reply)
Don't fly with them then, they're a shit airline
(
Pew Pew Pew! Lasers! wannabe Gong Farmer, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 16:35,
Reply)
I've got a double bass
If I ever take it abroad I'll probably have to get a special courier service...they barely make the seats big enough for ME...let alone a cased-up double bass.
...that's gonna suck.
(
Extinct Jesus Dossier Has begun to abominate..., Tue 31 Aug 2010, 22:56,
Reply)
Do businessmen relying on laptops have to buy a seat for their laptops?
The instrument is the tool of the trade in an industry that, like you said on the show, is not rolling in it. I play clarinet and I haven't been on airlines in a few years so I haven't had to fight this yet, but I do know string quartets and budgets are being cut like crazy, only to have costs going up and up. Violins and violas shouldn't have to deal with it, end of.
(, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 3:50, Reply)
Chargin' for laptops?
Feckin' brilliant! Tanks for dat...
Tony
(
writerblock ... embedding disabled by request on, Fri 3 Sep 2010, 13:40,
Reply)
I WOULD
Fill it with Edam & Asahi Japanese Lager and have a Wank whilst watching TJ Hooker on Quenst, I would!!!
(, Fri 3 Sep 2010, 19:37, Reply)
Hang on a sec...
...do you ever play in a string quartet in Covent Garden?
Specifically, did you do so in June this year in the lower ground floor recess type-thing?
(, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 14:53, Reply)
Easyjet did the exact same thing to my ex,
There was a near riot as they tried to insist and enitre plan full of musicians put EVERY instrument in the hold. Not sure how they got round it in the end, but everyone seemed to be happy.
Previous to that, one of my mates went on a short tour in spain, Ryan air shut his guitar in the outer plane door, the one that keeps the hold airtight! cut clean through the case and the neck!
(
Si o doom Pink Floyd fan? http://igg.me/p/92971?a=208985, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 14:55,
Reply)
ha ha ha, I also love the repeated stroking of the cello like a pet in need of re-assurance.
I do the same with one of my cameras, A lovely 1951 large format press film camera, I've been told I subconciously pat it when talking about it!
(
Si o doom Pink Floyd fan? http://igg.me/p/92971?a=208985, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 15:06,
Reply)
I saw that this morning, I had no idea your were a b3tan
Should should have included a magenta cock in your drawing as a secret signal to us all ;)
(
Monty Propps, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 15:02,
Reply)
MU letter
sorry for serious reply:
when our violinist travels with budget airlines like easyjet & ryanair, he has a letter from the MU stating that he is allowed to take his violin in *addition* to his hand luggage, and put it in the overhead compartment. Apparently legally the airlines have agreed to this. Worth looking into maybe?
(, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 15:02, Reply)
That looks less like a cello case and more like an iron maiden.
And I'm not fooled by the "Fragile" stickers.
(
BrokenCoccyx pees out his penis and poops out his poopis, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 15:03,
Reply)
wow
beautiful, articulate, play the cello... a woman...
...what the fuck are you doing on b3ta?
(
Sexty goan hymns is emotionally erect, on this day, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 15:13,
Reply)
She did flash her pants in all fairness though
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ERG1008 is climbing in yo windows & snatchin yo people up, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 15:20,
Reply)
Is it possible
to put your violin into a bag so that it doesn't look like a violin, so that you don't have to buy an extra ticket? Like maybe a gun case? Or one of those annoying pull-along suitcase bags that seems to be hand luggage while really being utterly HUGE?
EDIT: Or maybe you could wear it as an interesting hat, with fruit, therefore bearing it in disguise. That would be better.
(
emergency_pants Today I smell of... tea tree, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 15:15,
Reply)
With regards to the suitcase thing...
...maybe yes.
Although as soon as you hit viola it gets suspicious...
(
Extinct Jesus Dossier Has begun to abominate..., Tue 31 Aug 2010, 22:57,
Reply)
Could you not
just invent an inflatable cello? The market is obviously out there.
(
TheSundaeLunch avoided a manpad up the flaptrack on, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 15:18,
Reply)
This^ Good old entrepreneurship!
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BrokenCoccyx pees out his penis and poops out his poopis, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 15:22,
Reply)
Think
how popular you'd be if the plane had to ditch too!
I'm going to patent this...
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TheSundaeLunch avoided a manpad up the flaptrack on, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 15:24,
Reply)
Do it quickly
QUICKLY!
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emergency_pants Today I smell of... tea tree, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 15:25,
Reply)
I'm
looking for the number for Dragons Den right now. Not only could it keep you aflooat, but you could play it to keep the survivors spirits up. Then pass around an inflatable hat for donations. This invention has NO flaws!
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TheSundaeLunch avoided a manpad up the flaptrack on, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 15:29,
Reply)
And you could use the bow (possibly inflatable too) as an oar!
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ERG1008 is climbing in yo windows & snatchin yo people up, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 15:33,
Reply)
Or to fight off third class passengers that try to board your lifeboat.
although I'd board her lifeboat any day.
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BrokenCoccyx pees out his penis and poops out his poopis, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 15:37,
Reply)
That
idea will not make me rich.
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TheSundaeLunch avoided a manpad up the flaptrack on, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 15:41,
Reply)
you could start a rent-a-cello service
and then advertise on the back of easyjet seats. That's a business plan, right there.
(, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 15:47, Reply)
I still think
an inflatable one is more versatile. And rent-a-cello sounds like an Italian sauce.
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TheSundaeLunch avoided a manpad up the flaptrack on, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 15:54,
Reply)
It's not inflatable but
earlier this year I saw Suzy Bogguss in concert. Her bass player is a guy called Charlie Chadwick and he gave a quick demonstration of his invention:a collapsible double bass. You could probably apply the same principles to the cello although I suppose you'd still need an extra seat for it. It's a clever design though. </sensible post>
(
pandiculator, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 19:22,
Reply)
I play the violin
so this is interesting :)
though i doubt i'd have any cause to take mine on a plane.
(, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 15:27, Reply)
v nice
at the end of the day, the only critisicm is that, at the end of the day, you seem to say "at the end of the day" rather alot.
apart form that. w00
(
Crap Little Monkey Deathstar, so good they built it twice, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 15:28,
Reply)
i'm with the ginger bird
thats the first and last time i say that.
(, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 15:54, Reply)
I'm tired of hearing people complain about Ryanair.
It's quite obvious that they are fucking horrible and a false economy. Just don't fly with them. Everybody KNOWS that they are terrible.
(
Kung_Fu_Russ diddled your mum on, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 16:52,
Reply)
I'd rather a decent flight for once...
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Extinct Jesus Dossier Has begun to abominate..., Tue 31 Aug 2010, 22:59,
Reply)
I thought the cellist lady on Breakfast was really pretty.
So, err, congratulations on being really pretty.
(
Ping_Pang_Piddley_Dee couldn't give a big shiny fuck., Tue 31 Aug 2010, 16:58,
Reply)
Ridiculous Airline Red tape, that drives me nuts!
I had £60 quids worth of toiletries taken off me while going through customs once,
just to be told, "Don't worry Sir, you can buy it again once you get through customs"
And your Chello is in a professional flight case, why can't it go in the hold,
that's the whole point of buying the case, non?
Aaaarrrgghhh - Shakes Fist @ Airlines!
(
Darklord, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 17:07,
Reply)
B3tan on the telly!
Gets click from me.
(
Hellzapoppin is feeling puntastic on, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 18:27,
Reply)
Are you related to Serge?
You're related to Serge, aren't you! Don't pretend you aren't.
(, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 18:38, Reply)
You are lovely
I'd marry someone that looked like you :)
Anyway enough of the type of girls who are my type, and onto the subject matter!
The instrument is the size of a person!!
But i totally agree with the, They shouldn't sell the seat onwards, and force you to put it in overhead lockers anyway! Nor should they be selling your instruments personal details to third parties!!
Ryanairs business model is fantastic. And it works. It works so well that they can have millions of people pissed off with them, yet they will still succeed! Why? Because people need to get places, and will pay the cheapest to do it. As a single traveller who does frequent hops up and down to Spain. They are absolutely and utterly fantastic! Their cheap fair system allows me to pop home to my family for the weekend. I travel alone, take a small bag. I can nip home for the weekend for £30 - £50 in the winter! People can come out to see me for a cheap get away to spain as well.
Once you start putting families, large groups, and specific needs like heavy luggage, instruments, sports equipment etc. It gets tougher and I think thats when you should start looking at the bigger airlines such as BA etc.
No matter how much you hate the airline. If they offer you a flight for £20. You'll take it.
The only thing that will kill Ryanair. Is if they start binning planes. However, at the moment they have an impeccable safety record. In fact they have a better safety record than a lot of the big carriers!!
Great interview anyway. Loved the video :) And yes you are bloody lovely!!!!
(, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 20:45, Reply)
I really wouldn't
Ryanair would have to offer me at least a three figure sum (to the left of the decimal point) to get past my loathing of the sharp practices they use. That sort of chiseling approach makes me happy to pay more elsewhere.
(, Fri 3 Sep 2010, 17:27, Reply)
i seen this this morning
which was new because i'm hardly up before 9 this summer. my half-asleep mind wanted you to play that cello and make bill turnbull's mind explode.
also, ryanair are evil. and you're pretty :]
(, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 21:03, Reply)
Learn a smaller instrument, or stop taking your cello on 'olidays
fackin 'ell, problem solved, yeah?
(, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 21:24, Reply)
hahahahahahahahahahahahhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!
This fucking wins the internet
(, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 23:10, Reply)
I find it hilarious how you get junk mail. to your cello,
Genuine lols here :D
(
DaveExclamationMark speedcoredave.co.uk | Pinkie Pie Style!, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 22:15,
Reply)
Hey - what if
the hottie from University Challenge was watching that and wrote you a letter? It would cause a BBC-internet-B3ta Bermuda triangle and the world might end.
(
Norbert Lightowler, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 22:23,
Reply)
The trouble with b3ta...
...is that you'll get all the same immature comments you expect from 4chan...
...but you can be almost certain that the people posting are much, much older.
(
Extinct Jesus Dossier Has begun to abominate..., Tue 31 Aug 2010, 23:00,
Reply)
Why don't you just fly El Al?
It'll cut down on the dumb goy comments, give you the chance to meet a nice boy... and what did your mum say about you not wearing enough clothes? ;-)
(, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 0:02, Reply)
Highbrow discussion:
PANTS PANTS PANTS PANTS PANTS PANTS PANTS PANTS PANTS PANTS PANTS PANTS PANTS PANTS PANTS PANTS PANTS PANTS PANTS PANTS PANTS PANTS
(
Ttssattsr Hurry, potato delicious., Wed 1 Sep 2010, 11:43,
Reply)
To be fair, they look like entirely sensible pants to me.
Apologies if that wasn't the look you were hoping to achieve.
As an aside, are Kate Silverton's shoulders really as massive as they appear on television? She looks like a prop forward when she's reading the news sometimes. Perhaps she has a small head.
(
Smallbrainfield, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 14:15,
Reply)
Erm.... see when you are finished with these pants*... can you send them to me?
*Do NOT wash!
p.s. Yay to B3TANs and their pants on telly
(
Flash_Bastard, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 19:08,
Reply)
Just out of interest
if the instrument is in a sturdy, pro-quality flight case what is the problem with it going in the hold?
(
routine and Pantene, Fri 3 Sep 2010, 13:07,
Reply)
Pressure and temperature changes.
The cargo hold isn't pressurised like the cabin, so it would apparently mess up the lacquer or wood or something. I'd assume the case isn't air-tight, or it'd blow up.
(, Sat 4 Sep 2010, 13:14, Reply)
This clip receives the following ratings:
Pants: 5/10; Discussion: 6/10; Ryanair: 1/10
I think we can see from the statistics above that your pants are fairing slightly better than average.
(, Fri 3 Sep 2010, 13:14, Reply)
"To be fair to Ryanair..."
No, don't ever be fair to Ryanair – they're cunts.
(, Fri 3 Sep 2010, 13:19, Reply)
OMG
I want to cuddle the living shit out of her... and then have sex with her
(, Fri 3 Sep 2010, 13:42, Reply)
I'm going to go against the general flow of the comments:
You're ugly, your pants are crap and I don't like you.
Now, where does that put me on the list of desperate people asking for an Internet woman to reciprocate their flirting?
This is sarcasm; you are a bit lovely
(
Quijibo Esq. BSc. Stop ITV! http://dontruinthecrystalmaze.com, Fri 3 Sep 2010, 17:13,
Reply)
Wow, she's gorgeous!
The cellist ain't bad either.
(
Black Moon I met Trevor Horn!, Sat 4 Sep 2010, 5:07,
Reply)
What?
Kevin Smith could fit in that cello case. Do you honestly think that you could just put it in the overhead compartment and not have to pay extra? You need to wake up to reality.
(, Sat 4 Sep 2010, 15:21, Reply)
When touring in the U,K, and France about 15 years back...
My cello survived a couple transatlantic flights with this case cover from Webers - www.weberscases.com/Cello-Shipping-Bag.html. It was essentially a case for my hard case, made of about hardish foam about 3 inches thick, covered by a tough canvas outer coating. Looks like the canvas has been changed to imitation sheepskin in the interim, but at the time it worked an absolute treat; just loosened the strings a bit before checking my instrument as oversized luggage. The case cost about $400 (in 1995), and that included a decent hard case. Pretty sure it could accommodate that nice BAM case (looks like a BAM anyway) of yours...
(, Sun 5 Sep 2010, 22:57, Reply)
I shall have to bear this in mind
Next time I wish to take my organ on the flight with me...
(
snee held his breath since, Mon 6 Sep 2010, 16:03,
Reply)
Am I imagining it
or are both Turnbull and Silverton seriously slurring their words in the intro? A few too many G&Ts at the taxpayers' expense, methinks!
(Oh, yes, and in common with everyone else: GMF = drool)
(
Sonic the Hedgetrimmer doesn't care what you think, Wed 8 Sep 2010, 9:19,
Reply)
Wonderful pants
You're beautiful, talented and have very nice front bits too!
(, Wed 29 Sep 2010, 5:54, Reply)