The contraptions have started!!!
\o/
Hopefully it's not just a really big bottom burp!
( , Mon 17 Jul 2017, 13:18, Share, Reply)
\o/
Hopefully it's not just a really big bottom burp!
( , Mon 17 Jul 2017, 13:18, Share, Reply)
Prepare to see a very different side of your other half
and be prepared to lose all feeling in your hand as she squeezes it like a hydraulic vice.
Good luck, hope it all goes well!
( , Mon 17 Jul 2017, 13:44, Share, Reply)
and be prepared to lose all feeling in your hand as she squeezes it like a hydraulic vice.
Good luck, hope it all goes well!
( , Mon 17 Jul 2017, 13:44, Share, Reply)
remember, you're no help whatsoever in this situation
You're there so the midwives have someone to roll their eyes at
( , Mon 17 Jul 2017, 13:54, Share, Reply)
You're there so the midwives have someone to roll their eyes at
( , Mon 17 Jul 2017, 13:54, Share, Reply)
Good luck! Hope you've got a private room reserved once the baby is born.
Obvs stick the missus and baby out on the ward, but you'll need some peace & quiet.
( , Mon 17 Jul 2017, 14:08, Share, Reply)
Obvs stick the missus and baby out on the ward, but you'll need some peace & quiet.
( , Mon 17 Jul 2017, 14:08, Share, Reply)
I'm not sure that eating popcorn during the birth will go down all that well.
( , Mon 17 Jul 2017, 17:17, Share, Reply)
( , Mon 17 Jul 2017, 17:17, Share, Reply)
I just hope it is healthy
After the couple of years of screaming and shitting there is the terrible two's that lasts until they are about 25.
I have heard there are about 10 minutes between the ages of 4 and 7 where they smile.
Enjoy them.
( , Mon 17 Jul 2017, 16:19, Share, Reply)
After the couple of years of screaming and shitting there is the terrible two's that lasts until they are about 25.
I have heard there are about 10 minutes between the ages of 4 and 7 where they smile.
Enjoy them.
( , Mon 17 Jul 2017, 16:19, Share, Reply)
I just wanted to say, good luck.
We're all counting on you.
( , Mon 17 Jul 2017, 17:20, Share, Reply)
We're all counting on you.
( , Mon 17 Jul 2017, 17:20, Share, Reply)
everything is going to be 'ok'...
try a 'primal scream' (not the band obv) during the push bits...
\o/
( , Mon 17 Jul 2017, 17:53, Share, Reply)
try a 'primal scream' (not the band obv) during the push bits...
\o/
( , Mon 17 Jul 2017, 17:53, Share, Reply)
Good luck with it all
See if you can get kicked out of the delivery room for abusing the gas and air.
If not order a kebab and have delivered while you wait for the half time interlude cos you know exactly when you take the first bite she will start the eviction process
( , Mon 17 Jul 2017, 18:01, Share, Reply)
See if you can get kicked out of the delivery room for abusing the gas and air.
If not order a kebab and have delivered while you wait for the half time interlude cos you know exactly when you take the first bite she will start the eviction process
( , Mon 17 Jul 2017, 18:01, Share, Reply)
After this experience.
A kebab might not be quite so attractive.
( , Mon 17 Jul 2017, 20:58, Share, Reply)
A kebab might not be quite so attractive.
( , Mon 17 Jul 2017, 20:58, Share, Reply)
BE prepared for the mountains of piss, shit and sick.
Good luck, take a hip flask
( , Mon 17 Jul 2017, 18:59, Share, Reply)
Good luck, take a hip flask
( , Mon 17 Jul 2017, 18:59, Share, Reply)
don't do what I did first time
and leave half way through, get totally wrecked, then come back again. The fucking witches notice.
( , Mon 17 Jul 2017, 19:04, Share, Reply)
and leave half way through, get totally wrecked, then come back again. The fucking witches notice.
( , Mon 17 Jul 2017, 19:04, Share, Reply)
Don't hang out at the business end
It's like watching your favourite pub burn down
( , Mon 17 Jul 2017, 19:24, Share, Reply)
It's like watching your favourite pub burn down
( , Mon 17 Jul 2017, 19:24, Share, Reply)
All the best dude
The first three months are pretty shit. Sleep whenever you can, it gets easier and more rewarding. Don't forget to start bending your new arrival at the earliest convenience in order to ensure you have your very own contortionist when he/she gets older ;o)
( , Mon 17 Jul 2017, 19:41, Share, Reply)
The first three months are pretty shit. Sleep whenever you can, it gets easier and more rewarding. Don't forget to start bending your new arrival at the earliest convenience in order to ensure you have your very own contortionist when he/she gets older ;o)
( , Mon 17 Jul 2017, 19:41, Share, Reply)