Gervais on the Bible.
Probably glasscock, what with it being on DVD for 4 years now.
(
mike woz ere puts the 'sexy' in 'dyslexia', Sun 5 Jul 2009, 15:05,
Reply)
i really dont understand why people find him funny
the smarmy little cunt!
(, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 15:23, Reply)
I used to love the office
but after seeing him live I no longer find him funny.
(
planearm, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 15:42,
Reply)
Same
here. Didn't find The Office amusing in any shape or form.
(
social hand grenade contains no added pilchards, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 16:10,
Reply)
i love him! this is off his blog today! GENIUS!
Some food critic said I was a hypocrite for not understanding why people like to see a bull speared to death, when I'm clearly not a vegan and eat hamburgers at midnight.
I think there is a difference between animals being humanely killed for meat and animals being tortured to death for fun.
It's the "enjoying it" part I don't understand.
Wouldn't it be weird if non-vegans went down to abattoirs in their hundreds and cheered as the animals were slaughtered? Would that be a sport?
I've heard some equally silly arguments about our very own fox hunting. (Although at one point in his article he tried to make my hatred of bullfighting look like xenophobia.)
"It's a tradition." "Foxes need to be culled." So loads of inbreds on horses might as well enjoy it right?
I have had several pets put down over the years when they were in pain with no quality of life. It was the right thing to do and yet on every occasion I cried. What a wuss. Next time, I will invite the food critic round and he can have a good old wank as the needle goes in. It's only an animal, it was going to die anyway, may as well have a laugh. It may even become a tradition, and you can never end those.
I wonder what other wonderful traditions he loves. His favourite is probably the one where they cut the tendons on the back of the bull's neck so they can't lift their head and so it looks like they're constantly in "charge pose". More fun for the crowd. I'm getting hard just thinking about it.
He also made loads of other assumptions about me and got quite personal but by then he was basically showing that he just doesn't like me. At one point he went off on one, assuming that because I don't like that particular "foreign" tradition that I probably hated all foreign traditions. So does he agree with all foreign traditions? Does he like that lovely foreign tradition of holding down teenage girls and cutting off their clitorises? That's a cracker isn't it.
Anyway... Went to The Ivy tonight with Ben Stiller. I had a Caesar salad followed by fish and chips (I haven't eaten red meat for ages by the way), and chocolate pudding for afters. It was lovely.
(Could I get £150 pounds for this review do you think?)
(
mrpoo has got something in his front pocket for you, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 20:51,
Reply)
I lost which bits were you
and which were him. But The Ivy is a nice night out, although i have never been there with anyone famous*.
*Unless you count my local MP. I don't. He is a tit.
(
sundae_girl_2004 was a merchant of death, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 21:33,
Reply)
Klaus the Forklift Driver
It's a bad first day for Klaus the Forklift Driver.
Stick with it, all the way through, it's the craziest safety video I've ever seen. I don't want to say any more for fear of dulling the shocks!
Feels like it might be repost, so sorry if it is.
Enjoy.
(, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 14:48, Reply)
we seem to be caught in a Links board timewarp
(
HappyToast sorted on, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 14:51,
Reply)
Links is becoming like ground hog day
(
Earl Otterby Goodbye and no thanks for the fish, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 15:35,
Reply)
Links is becoming like ground hog day
(
rebmcr formerly Lord of Teh 9, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 17:01,
Reply)
We seem to be caught in a Links board time warp
www.b3ta.com/links/336717
(
WiL can take it all!, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 17:03,
Reply)
Links is becoming like ground hog day
(
redazril will fuck your GC in the A, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 17:04,
Reply)
BBC Reporter vs. Northern Rollercoaster
No matter what happens, always keep your cool on camera........
(, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 14:39, Reply)
Calm and relax..
ha, least she laughed at the end of it, but god her mouth can open wide!
(
Jimbuktu has more tshirts up www.swishswosh.com/JayTee, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 15:32,
Reply)
I was expecting it to be I am robot and proud
but it wasn't :(
I am robot and proud is awesome
Nice video none the less
(
HappyToast sorted on, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 14:51,
Reply)
you did the song as well, yes?
in which case that is super stuff.
(
The magic of chutney A Dim-Sum-Summation, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 14:53,
Reply)
I enjoyed that!
But then, i would...
(
sundae_girl_2004 was a merchant of death, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 14:54,
Reply)
Mitch Hedberg Stand up
NSFW
Slightly odd but really rather funny
NSFW for swears
(, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 14:18, Reply)
Who
has broken youtube?! Damn maintenance!
Edit: Ok, all fixed now. I reckon it was actually a fag break.
(
Jimbuktu has more tshirts up www.swishswosh.com/JayTee, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 14:20,
Reply)
Jim's Dolphin Fighting site
I designed a few free web templates a while back.. came across this website which was using one.. a site about dolphin fighting.. GC?
(
Rusty Shackleford www.junt.co.uk, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 13:27,
Reply)
Video titled notorious B.U.M.
I typed "bum" into youtube as you do on a lazy sunday afternoon and was greeted by this chap, I reckon with a bit of production this man could become something of a youtube superstar... the challenge is there what do you reckon?
sorry if its been posted before, brief searching couldn't find it.
(
Badgerfish for ultra cock, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 13:11,
Reply)
Freight Train vs. Tornado.
Ronseal:- Double & triple checked this one for GC but button gives all-clear. Fun doesn't start 'till about 1:10, but it's worth the wait.
(, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 12:44, Reply)
Wow!
Although I am glad it was there, I do wonder what the camera was there for? What does it capture on a non-tornado day?
(
sundae_girl_2004 was a merchant of death, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 13:07,
Reply)
Exactly
what I was thinking!
(
Jimbuktu has more tshirts up www.swishswosh.com/JayTee, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 13:12,
Reply)
Good point, it had crossed my mind too.
Edit:- Congrats on topping the Popular page Sundae.
(, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 13:16, Reply)
Hooray!
Now I realise I shouldn't have clicked 'I like this' on your vid, as you are top now :D
(
sundae_girl_2004 was a merchant of death, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 13:29,
Reply)
Ho. Lee. Crap.
That's manic!
(
Noely Noel is approximately 1.073 billion seconds old, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 13:23,
Reply)
sooo errrm
if its windy enough to take a train off the rails why do the trees hardly move?
(, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 14:19, Reply)
Is it possibly because trees don't have the profile of a 150m² rigid sail?
(, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 14:43, Reply)
well
not that windy outside now but the trees are moving more that that.....
(, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 14:55, Reply)
You're seeing turbulent flow
At that point in the tornado the flow is laminar.
(, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 15:14, Reply)
THIS IS SCIENCE WORKING FOR US!
(
The magic of chutney A Dim-Sum-Summation, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 15:45,
Reply)
This is an episode
of Dragons Den I don't want to miss.
(
sundae_girl_2004 was a merchant of death, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 15:54,
Reply)
what:? Check about the 1 minute mark
the trees are thrashing about all over the shop.
Edit 1:06 you can see where it goes through the wall/dust shroud, as all the crap whizzes past horizontally.
For anatomy see here: www.rd.com/your-america-inspiring-people-and-stories/quick-study-twister/article125463.html
(
The magic of chutney A Dim-Sum-Summation, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 14:56,
Reply)
hehe nice vid :D
i always thought "annie are you ok" as "eddie are you yokey" :/
theres another one where he says something about microsoft too
(, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 12:45, Reply)
New 13 story building falls over in China.
Oops. Pity there's no video of it.
(
Esme Winterval fuck your fucking pie, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 11:51,
Reply)
The communists won't let the video be released in case people see the GIANT TORTOISE what knocked it over.
(
Dr Preference has an EXCITING NEW LINK in his profile, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 11:53,
Reply)
No, they did not release the video
as it shows the first atempts to get the chinese population from jumping up and down at the same time...
Nice to see this in English - as I have seen the pics with russian and (presumably) chinese comment.
(, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 13:54, Reply)
A trailer for a film about a robot geisha.
NSFW
Possibly slightly NSFW.
Probably GC.
But more importantly, GSOH
(
Dr Preference has an EXCITING NEW LINK in his profile, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 11:50,
Reply)
Geisha transform!
That looks so bad it's probably bad.
(
Noely Noel is approximately 1.073 billion seconds old, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 12:06,
Reply)
...........
Fried Shrimp...Tengu milk....This is seriously odd. Plus, buildings apparently bleed when smashed up.
(, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 13:06, Reply)
My Debunking of the 2006 self-help movie "The Secret"
I made this!
It once had Oprah's name on it but not anymore.
"The Secret" was a 2006 film that basically teaches people that everything bad that happens to them is their own fault because they were putting out "bad vibrations" & that everything you ever wanted will come your way as long as you sit there and put out "good vibrations"
It took me just over 3 hours to find enough information that would usrinate all over this pile of dried up camel's smeg!
Hope you enjoy!
(, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 10:06, Reply)
everything to do with "self-help" is a massive pile of delusional horse shit
I've watched someone try to think themselves happy recently - she's ended up as an emotional wreck who keeps digging herself into a deeper trough of denial by thinking happy thoughts instead of facing up to the fact that her life is going horribly wrong
Fuck self-help, fuck self-help right in the ear. People need to face facts head-on, not blame it on fucking karma. Hippies.
(
Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 10:17,
Reply)
To quote George Carlin;
"If you wanted self-help why would you ask somebody else? That's not self-help...that's HELP!"
(, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 10:19, Reply)
Religions/cults/self help/my dating policy... They all rely on the same thing,
exploit the vulnerable.
news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/health/8132857.stm
If someone came up with a way to exploit my cynicism, I'd be fucked.
(, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 10:36, Reply)
actually
i have a system called "Cynicism for Success!". It is a weekly programme of self help meetings with yourself using meditations from my book "Cynic Clinic! the one step programme to wealth and power" available directly from me for £150.00. The self guided meeting only cost £800 a time for the first 52 weeks. If you are not totally happy by the end of the year you can claim your money back by purchasing the form FU1138 for the one time offer of £12000.00 and i'll refund almost the whole 20% of your initial down payment.
Join NOW!
(, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 10:55, Reply)
I'm in!
If only there was a way someone could help me overcome the crippling debts I'll incur signing up.
Carol Vordeman, the most intelligent and respected woman in the world, tell me what I can do!
(, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 11:43, Reply)
If i could click this, i would.
(
Lanc Weekend Trailer Park Supervisor, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 11:18,
Reply)
YES
I have a friend doing some really fucking suspect course at the moment that is "definitely not scientology".
He wanted to take me along a couple of weeks ago and I said no, now he won't shut the fuck up about it.
IF I NEED HELP I'LL SEE SOMEONE QUALIFIED, THANKS
(
gronkpan, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 12:46,
Reply)
haha!
"thats why we give each other names you daft old fucker!"
Nicely done!, and welcome to b3ta!
(
Jorvic Englishness means always having to say youre sorry, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 10:59,
Reply)
I read on an article about Oprah once
The reason she believes in the secret is because she had someone blowing bubbles on her show, and she wanted her own bubbles. When she went back to her office there was a thing for blowing bubbles on her desk. She asked her assistant if she had gone out and bought it and the assistant said "no, I bought it for your birthday a while back".
She took the fact that she had never noticed the bubble blower until she wanted it as proof that The Secret works.
WTF? All that proves is that Oprah is an asshole.
(, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 11:09, Reply)
you sound
distressingly like russell brand... still, self help is for emotional cripples who are addicted to a constant diet of affirmation and justification for their own low self esteem, so boo!
(, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 11:20, Reply)
I agree with you but ide have to make two exceptions
"Feeling Good" by Dr. David Burns which really helped me with depression, though its not really a self-help book its more self administered cognitive behavioural thearopy.. which was developed by the author..who isnt some crack pot scam artist..
Oh and The Easy Way by Alan Carr, which stopped me smoking for a year (relapsed into social smoking when im drunk..just re-reading the book now)
So advice is good for people, and sometimes you can get that advice from a book.. just dont go for "spiritual" ones ide gues, go for ones with at least some basis in psychology..
(
Jorvic Englishness means always having to say youre sorry, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 11:33,
Reply)
also a bit like jonny modern off the fat pie podcasts
yoooonnnnnnnnnnnnnnny modern
(, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 22:34, Reply)
Haha
Great Vid and Welcome to B3ta.
(
Lanc Weekend Trailer Park Supervisor, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 11:31,
Reply)
YOUR ALL WRONG!
wanna know why?
It's all in my new book
war3n3xts guide to almost cocking everything!
on sale now!!
(
war3n3xt I love mark! fuck jonny.. fool, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 12:24,
Reply)
'twas good that was
That's about the first time I've watched a user's ten minute vid on B3ta
(
Rusty Shackleford www.junt.co.uk, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 12:54,
Reply)
haha
hello coughlan, welcome to b3ta.
(
but the hedgehog can never be buggered at all foreskin of the apocalypse, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 14:06,
Reply)
i like what you've done.
i love what you're doing, i AGREE with what you're doing, and i want you to do more of it.
(, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 0:34, Reply)
I recently acquired 'Streetcore'
by Joe Strummer And The Mescaleros.
It's a quality album, so have this, which brings a tear to my eye every time.
Even if it is a cover.
(
Che_Guevaras_Sponge RAWR., Sun 5 Jul 2009, 3:32,
Reply)
I prefer this version
where Johnny Cash sings along too ;)
www.youtube.com/watch?v=BGVSTsgcCvw
Now THAT is an awesome song
(, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 6:19, Reply)
I saw the mecaleros once in Leeds
The best thing about the night was Bruce Foxton being in the support act.
(, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 8:33, Reply)
Ahhhh I'd Forgotten All About This....
Joe Strummer's death is still the only celebrity death that moved me to tears the minute I heard about it. I saw Joe twice including at the Fleadh Festival which I think was the same year he died!.... A true legend!
(, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 11:03, Reply)
techno mix
I made this!
ah fuck, I can't embed this
U.R., Umek, DJ Misjah, Dave Clarke,Mankind and the like....
(
Cockweasle http://b3nn3tt.mybrute.com, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 0:46,
Reply)
Kicks Fung Pow Shite !
Goes for a good long time cranked up to pulsing loud VIBES !
(
Valin That that is that . . . is that . . ., Sun 5 Jul 2009, 1:04,
Reply)
this is awesome
if only for the URL it's created.
(
lazygamer losing weight by shitting profusely (20lbs so far), Sun 5 Jul 2009, 1:09,
Reply)
Thanks from DJ SHITE
the mix'd be longer but I can't find any host that'll take more than about 15mb
(
Cockweasle http://b3nn3tt.mybrute.com, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 1:11,
Reply)
Winds up real nice . . . kicks in . . . winds down real nice . . .
♪ ___ ♫ ___ ♪
(
Valin That that is that . . . is that . . ., Sun 5 Jul 2009, 0:24,
Reply)
More than you're asking for, I'm sure :)
www.b3ta.com/links/336005
(
elbow, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 0:40,
Reply)
Absolutely it is :D
But appreciated nonetheless!
What I mean is, I was waiting for a *thump* and a kick-in.
Still works though ;-)
(, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 1:07, Reply)
The revenge of Percy Sugden
I think
(
Cockweasle http://b3nn3tt.mybrute.com, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 1:17,
Reply)
give me a name
and i'll call it that :)
edit: nevermind. i'm going with cockweasle's title.
(
elbow, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 1:18,
Reply)
I'm enjoying this....
what software are you using?
(
Cockweasle http://b3nn3tt.mybrute.com, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 1:13,
Reply)
ableton suite 8
just bought these.......
www.korg.co.uk/products/software_controllers/nano/sc_nano.asp
fucking fun and games =D
(
Cockweasle http://b3nn3tt.mybrute.com, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 1:21,
Reply)
that does look fun
i use this little guy-
www.m-audio.com/products/en_us/Axiom25.html
(
elbow, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 1:25,
Reply)
I have one of those!
The mod wheel is a bit broken though.
(
Davydd Grimm has gone all WITTR-ish, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 2:02,
Reply)
i
quite like this. its pretty good i doff my hat to you sir. im getting my audio work there this week as Im just finishing rebuilding the studio and have to find a new place for my racks then it will be all systems a go go
(, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 1:42, Reply)
Gay Bar - WoW Style
Heres another take on the song 'Gay Bar' in the style of a WoW video! Immature yes, but I love how he times the thrusting to the music XD
(, Sat 4 Jul 2009, 22:09, Reply)
A very busy day!
I made this!
I went to ZSL Whipsnade in the morning then drove east to the Cat Survival Trust for an altogether quieter afternoon with Doctor Terry Moore's big cats. The afternoon was simply to hot to get the Snow Leopard cubs interested in coming out of their enclosure, but still had a lovely time seeing Terry again, and of course the beautiful animals in his care. A splendid day :)
Darren will no doubt mutter about his day on the Steve Allen show on LBC tomorrow morning
(
Jahled extraordinaire®, Sat 4 Jul 2009, 22:08,
Reply)
That is so
well put together.
(
sundae_girl_2004 was a merchant of death, Sat 4 Jul 2009, 22:25,
Reply)
Cheers!
I'm actually going to spend a week or so up at Terry's joint in September to film his cats at dusk, and dawn, which should be fun
despite the fact I work at London Zoo, his cat's are far calmer animals, which makes me genuinely frown
(
Jahled extraordinaire®, Sat 4 Jul 2009, 22:37,
Reply)
Lol;
you thought I was Amerkin, and I always thought you were up at Wippy.
(
sundae_girl_2004 was a merchant of death, Sat 4 Jul 2009, 22:41,
Reply)
Cheers mate
Directly below as well, awesome stuff
(
Jahled extraordinaire®, Sat 4 Jul 2009, 23:43,
Reply)
!
but why are they captive? I would love a big cat to keep at home but why do we do this?
(, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 5:38, Reply)
It's a sanctuary
Many of those cats would have been destroyed if not for Terry
He is also part of the world wide breeding program to keep them going as species, as are zoos these days; there are only 34 Amur Leopards in the wild for example, plus we have to try and keep the gene pool as clean as possible, which is a battle we've lost with the Amur Tiger
read his mission statement: www.catsurvivaltrust.org
reality isn't as simple as naive idealists like born free would like you to believe
(
Jahled extraordinaire®, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 9:54,
Reply)
The Girl from Iponema
I made this!
One of my usual bubblegum silly pop videos.
(
sundae_girl_2004 was a merchant of death, Sat 4 Jul 2009, 22:05,
Reply)
I work of beauty my dear
gets a click from me, though, as you know,
Ah well :(
(
Jahled extraordinaire®, Sat 4 Jul 2009, 22:25,
Reply)
Arf!
I think we say mindpiss; I just replied to your post, which knocks this into a cocked hat!
(
sundae_girl_2004 was a merchant of death, Sat 4 Jul 2009, 22:27,
Reply)
Well;
at least i don't hear you singing on yours!
(
sundae_girl_2004 was a merchant of death, Sat 4 Jul 2009, 22:39,
Reply)
Singing?
Just urging my mate to have his fingers torn off ;)
(
Jahled extraordinaire®, Sat 4 Jul 2009, 22:54,
Reply)
Sweet . . . lovely . . . fun . . . great voice . . . thoroughly enjoyable !
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah . . . ♪ ___ ♫ ___ ♪ . . .
(
Valin That that is that . . . is that . . ., Sun 5 Jul 2009, 0:31,
Reply)
Weee . . . round and round we go . . .
very smooth . . .
(
Valin That that is that . . . is that . . ., Sun 5 Jul 2009, 1:35,
Reply)
Hey Pixel Face! I love you
Hahaha! Great work :)
(
Prequal ARRIBA SUPERIEUR PREMIUM COCAO 81%, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 13:09,
Reply)
Isn't that actually a unicycle with stabilisers?
(
SubCulture Hero ... ... He... .... Comes ... ...., Sun 5 Jul 2009, 13:45,
Reply)
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