Ringpiece
GlassCock Ringpiece.
(
RompaStompa Stick it up your jumper, Thu 2 Jan 2014, 16:22,
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He does seem a little flustered at the police intrusion
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RompaStompa Stick it up your jumper, Thu 2 Jan 2014, 16:35,
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Where has this happened?
The guy looks and sounds like an American estimation of a British lower-class person, while the police officer (wearing what can only be described as a blue overall with a black belt) sounds like Ricky Gervais.
(, Thu 2 Jan 2014, 16:46, Share, Reply)
Pretty good description
of Britain in the 80s.
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pineapplecharm D d M Y, H:i, Thu 2 Jan 2014, 16:47,
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John Bunnell voiceover on a British clip, do you think it's just us that redubs american cop shows?
(, Thu 2 Jan 2014, 17:57, Share, Reply)
"A very ugly british man with horrible yellow british teeth gets pulled over and starts yelling at the camera man that he will shove the camera up his RING PIECE."
His teeth look fine to me.
(, Fri 3 Jan 2014, 10:30, Share, Reply)
Concrete arrows for directing planes. Simple innit?
This is one of my favourite blogs (first picked it up here, I'm fairly sure) and this post is a prime example of their interesting finds around the world.
I hope to visit the one in Shelbyville (Indiana) when I'm over there later in the year.
(
Fray Brentos *mega-belms*, Thu 2 Jan 2014, 16:19,
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Brilliant site
Just wish they would post more often, it seems to be a few posts, then silence for a few months, then a few more
(
DinivanX Has stinging piss after drinking Pact Coffee, Thu 2 Jan 2014, 16:27,
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Henry Williamson, author of Tarka the Otter
was a Nazi sympathiser, and joined Mosley's British Union of Fascists. It was rumoured that he used to stomp around in cornfields making huge arrows pointing towards RAF Chivenor in North Devon hoping to aid German bombers looking for the airfield.
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Varmint, Thu 2 Jan 2014, 20:13,
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KSEtMZh2exc
I wish I was Dead Bill hicks
Warning contains Stewart Lee
(
Firkinfedup last shat on your wife's tits at, Thu 2 Jan 2014, 16:23,
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despite the warning.
I STILL CLICKED! damn it......
but then he prooved he's a twat......2hrs.........pfft...
(, Thu 2 Jan 2014, 19:19, Share, Reply)
ive gone on Bill Hicks sprees
Online and that's a similar time to what i found.
(
Firkinfedup last shat on your wife's tits at, Thu 2 Jan 2014, 19:40,
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A lot of his stuff hasn't aged all that well.
This is still a good piece though.
(
Fray Brentos *mega-belms*, Thu 2 Jan 2014, 16:31,
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Bill Hicks... or Alex Jones, eh? eh?
www.atlanteanconspiracy.com/2013/08/alex-jones-is-bill-hicks-proof-hicks.html
(, Thu 2 Jan 2014, 16:43, Share, Reply)
Oh, jesus, no. It's serious.
Apart from the fact that Alex Jones & Bill Hicks would disagree on EVERY SINGLE TOPIC EVER, they look a bit similar.
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Tab Hunter Make this useless process end and so, begin again, Thu 2 Jan 2014, 16:55,
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I think maybe it started as a conspiracy theory
with which to wind up the believer-of-all-conspiracy-theories. Worked rather well, too.
/edit: goddamn lack of subject editing. A *joke* conspiracy theory. I hope, anyway.
(, Thu 2 Jan 2014, 17:01, Share, Reply)
yeah, he looked nothing like Bill Hicks when he was younger
newsimg.bbc.co.uk/media/images/46399000/jpg/_46399853_aledchoirboy.jpg
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LP, Thu 2 Jan 2014, 19:22,
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oh god
I wish I hadn't clicked that.
(
Firkinfedup last shat on your wife's tits at, Thu 2 Jan 2014, 16:59,
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haha
happy new year MrOli *bums*
(
Firkinfedup last shat on your wife's tits at, Thu 2 Jan 2014, 17:11,
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So not the Welsh lass off the One Show then?
(
Marxist Pig Better Red Than Smeg, Thu 2 Jan 2014, 18:49,
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one of my favourite people
Revelations recorded in London is great stuff:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=w7bcxBf2vK4
(, Fri 3 Jan 2014, 18:44, Share, Reply)
This Year in Unnecessary Censorship - 2013
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Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Thu 2 Jan 2014, 16:12,
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awesome
*clicks*
(
Firkinfedup last shat on your wife's tits at, Thu 2 Jan 2014, 16:30,
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Smoke Alarm Apocalypse - The Early Years (includes shotgun use). Sweary soundtrack.
NSFW
(
Jabberwoc misses D.R. and Quinch, Thu 2 Jan 2014, 15:36,
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not entirely sure what I've just watched there tbh
(
Firkinfedup last shat on your wife's tits at, Thu 2 Jan 2014, 16:00,
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I'll explain..
EXT: A quaint English cottage in the Autumn. A disgruntled farmer carrying a shotgun emerges.
MAN:
Urgle-argle-urgle.
The man levels his shotgun at a Smoke Detector lying in the well-trimmed lawn before the cottage.
MAN:
Urgle-argle-urgle.
BANG! The shotgun ends the life of the defenceless alarm.
THE END.
(
Jabberwoc misses D.R. and Quinch, Thu 2 Jan 2014, 16:10,
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pfft
he should get one you hold the button down for 2 seconds after its gone off and it stays off for like 20 mins.
(
Firkinfedup last shat on your wife's tits at, Thu 2 Jan 2014, 16:15,
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would you
want to get up every 20 minutes to shut the fucking thing off?
shotgun seems to be a mild, yet effective, way to deal with the problem.
(, Thu 2 Jan 2014, 19:22, Share, Reply)
if its going off every 20 minutes
Locate fire and extinguish
(
Firkinfedup last shat on your wife's tits at, Thu 2 Jan 2014, 19:38,
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or turn teh toaster off......
or use a shotgun on the defective lump of shite! :)
(, Thu 2 Jan 2014, 21:53, Share, Reply)
Pfft!
Try telling the insurance company that when your house burns Down.
(
Firkinfedup last shat on your wife's tits at, Thu 2 Jan 2014, 22:22,
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A good reminder...
that we should all be thankful Fred Durst has faded into oblivion.
(
BaronMunchausen Interdimensional Demon Day Laborer, Thu 2 Jan 2014, 17:45,
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Thereby scattering radioactive gubbins all over his lawn.
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Varmint, Thu 2 Jan 2014, 19:19,
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Make the Sweater Better
I've been watching a lot of Comedy Bang Bang - found this hilarious.
(, Thu 2 Jan 2014, 14:38, Share, Reply)
I'm afraid that you are mistaken
There is not a single second of that that could even loosely be called comedy.
(, Thu 2 Jan 2014, 14:49, Share, Reply)
christian comedy?
You mean like Tim Vine? Or Milton Jones? Or Johnny Vegas? Something like that?
(, Thu 2 Jan 2014, 16:58, Share, Reply)
As a parody of just about every tedious, dull-as-dogshit real-life show on telly, it pretty much nails it.
As such, I think there is humour within. That humour being the thing that makes you cry with depression at the fucking state of what passes as entertainment on the shitpump these days.
I accidentally pushed the wrong button the remote last night and was subjected to a few seconds of The Illusionists on ITV. I nearly died. One bloke was going to do a Houdini trick (being drowned, basically) and the presenter ACTUALLY say "who better to check that these handcuffs are real than Bonnie Langford!??" I could think of at least 4 people.
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Fray Brentos *mega-belms*, Thu 2 Jan 2014, 15:02,
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what about goggle box
where we are invited to watch people watching TV. They should have one where viewers can watch me getting pissed off at watching people watching TV.
(
colmcq2, Thu 2 Jan 2014, 15:14,
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I would happily watch that if:
You were forced to be watching me actually getting pissed, whilst you were getting pissed off watching me watching you.
(
DinivanX Has stinging piss after drinking Pact Coffee, Thu 2 Jan 2014, 15:36,
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ok, got it
i could watch you get drunk to me getting drunk watching a tv show about people watching tv
(
colmcq2, Thu 2 Jan 2014, 15:40,
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It's a deal
Where do we pick up our cheques from ITV?
(
DinivanX Has stinging piss after drinking Pact Coffee, Thu 2 Jan 2014, 16:28,
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My mum bought us a telly a month ago in the mistaken belief that we actually wanted one.
Seeing as we have no intention of paying for cable, we bought a Hulu subscription, and plug a tablet into it. It works well, because you have to plan what you want to watch, and there is not the option of just switching on the telly and channel surfing. In short, we watch about an hour a night, and it's always something we want to watch.
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The Awful Puppy Bakery is still bored, Thu 2 Jan 2014, 15:19,
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We've got some sort of Sky thing but nothing other than the basic 5 channels and their inbred offspring (BBC3 & 4, Channel 4 + 1 etc) are available.
Watch most things on iPlayer.
Oh, and my 5-minute accidental viewing of ITV also included an advert for Take Me Out. I won't be making that mistake again soon.
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Fray Brentos *mega-belms*, Thu 2 Jan 2014, 15:34,
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I thought that you were going to say:
My mum would be better to check the handcuffs.
(
Pig Bodine., Thu 2 Jan 2014, 16:02,
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"Nails it" - but in a rather half-hearted way.
As usual the Onion's flogged this one fully to death already.
(
pineapplecharm D d M Y, H:i, Thu 2 Jan 2014, 15:57,
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TIG NOTARO HAD CANCER YOU HEARTLESS B3TAN
HER RECENT COMEDY ALBUM TELLS YOU SO.
(
gaijintendo Regular Member, Thu 2 Jan 2014, 15:17,
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Super Fucking Massive CBB fan RIGHT HERE.
(
gaijintendo Regular Member, Thu 2 Jan 2014, 15:11,
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Hilarious?????
The video cuts out after 3.48 on my computer. I must've missed the funny bit.
Least funny thing I have ever seen on here.
(
Flash_Bastard, Thu 2 Jan 2014, 15:14,
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Don't say that!!
Pissflaps will see it as a challenge and post something with children being beheaded.
(, Thu 2 Jan 2014, 15:16, Share, Reply)
www.ssiworld.com/
The ONLY way to deal with sweaters, jumpers and cardigans like those!
(, Thu 2 Jan 2014, 19:25, Share, Reply)
Ha!
I think we all know that this will become the new "Veet" link.
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Fray Brentos *mega-belms*, Thu 2 Jan 2014, 14:36,
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Just so long as its not the next "Penis Beaker" link
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DinivanX Has stinging piss after drinking Pact Coffee, Thu 2 Jan 2014, 14:37,
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A hardcore household
to exhaust the bog roll and even socks by the sound of things
(
Jahled Three shades of black, Thu 2 Jan 2014, 14:39,
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Ah memories
One recalls the vicious masturbathon of 1993. One competitor swore his winning 100th expression within the 7 day time limit included a little blood. Truly a hero for the ages.
(
pineapplecharm D d M Y, H:i, Thu 2 Jan 2014, 14:53,
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She's a he, but his Amazon reviews are brilliant.
www.amazon.com/gp/cdp/member-reviews/A2Q14JXZX4R807/ref=cm_pdp_rev_all?ie=UTF8&sort_by=MostRecentReview
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da5id <YOUR SIG HERE>, Thu 2 Jan 2014, 14:50,
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As a father of three sons who have all successfully completed teenage years, I can vouch that this is as real as it gets.
(
Flash_Bastard, Thu 2 Jan 2014, 15:18,
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Shane Meadows: thoroughly lovely man.
I made this!
This might be of limited interest, but if you like Shane Meadows, then you might like this. I've been running a tiny fortnightly film club- The Beestonian Film Club at Cafe Roya - above a restaurant in Beeston, a few miles outside Nottingham. Usually just showing shorts and work from local directors to around 30 people paying a few quid to see some arty shorts and get a meal for just a few quid, it ticks along quietly. However, I got a call over the Autumn, with a gruff voiced bloke reckoning he was Shane Meadows asking if he could come along. I assumed it was a piss-take, but no, he really was Shane, and fancied showing a load of shorts never shown in public before. So we arranged an evening,drew up a programme, and I managed to badger the former film editor of Q Magazine, and Guardian reviewer, Ali Catterall to come up north, sleep on my sofa, and do a Q+A with the amazing director man. He agreed, and this is the result, one of the weirdest nights of my life. We also raised a chunk of money for Oxfam, and even had a guest star: the Broadchurch-tastic Vicky McClure came along too. We're looking at getting Speilberg and that Michael Bay along for 2014...
(, Thu 2 Jan 2014, 13:56, Share, Reply)
excellent
well done on getting all that arranged. Think Dead Man's Shoes is my fave of his, but pretty much like everything he has ever done
(
Mster Johnny Ekstrom, now that's a name, Thu 2 Jan 2014, 13:59,
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Dead Man's Shoes is a masterpiece. Paddy Considine is such a good, menacing actor.
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Fray Brentos *mega-belms*, Thu 2 Jan 2014, 14:13,
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Also a fantastic comic actor... www.youtube.com/watch?v=wZzxB2QULYs
(, Thu 2 Jan 2014, 14:34, Share, Reply)
Ha!
His character in Romeo Brass was psychotically comical too.
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Fray Brentos *mega-belms*, Thu 2 Jan 2014, 15:10,
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Yeah, I agree
Romeo Brass and Dead Man's shoes were the first time I ever saw a film that felt like bits of my life, I feel like I knew copies of that gang of pricks in dead man's shoes in my late teens, horrible,
(, Thu 2 Jan 2014, 22:25, Share, Reply)
^This^
With giant massive bells on!
The scene when he first confronts Gary Stretch in the street is (in my humble) one of the greatest bits of acting in any film.
And Toby Kebbel is amazing, stunningly good.
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sir_spicious2000 Crap I've watched: www.filmplop.blogspot.com/, Thu 2 Jan 2014, 15:04,
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Paddy Considine is the only actor I would purposefully stop in the street and demand an audience with if I saw him
would be almost worth the ticket to Burton on Trent
(, Thu 2 Jan 2014, 16:00, Share, Reply)
Well done indeed.
He is a top bloke alright.
(
fred zeppelin II: Electric Boogaloo, Thu 2 Jan 2014, 14:03,
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Wow good sutff
Will have to watch this at home this evening, but you get a click for the event and good charidee work
(
DinivanX Has stinging piss after drinking Pact Coffee, Thu 2 Jan 2014, 14:25,
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Well done you, that's a brilliant achievement that is.
(
Pig Bodine., Thu 2 Jan 2014, 14:51,
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.
I've not actually seen any of his films; but well done there,
from a Nottingham based B3tan, who used to work in Beeston ;)
Will watch this later (bookmarked)!
(, Thu 2 Jan 2014, 15:05, Share, Reply)
Good work!
Big fan of his stuff!
*Click*
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sir_spicious2000 Crap I've watched: www.filmplop.blogspot.com/, Thu 2 Jan 2014, 15:07,
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I like his work but having lived in Sneinton for many years and worked with some of his friends from his youth I would hesitate at calling the Shane of old a "thoroughly nice bloke".
Dead Man's Shoes is fantastically sinister, however.
(
Jabberwoc misses D.R. and Quinch, Thu 2 Jan 2014, 15:41,
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Anecdotes please.
Just put 'allegedly' at the end if you are worried about libel.
(
Pig Bodine., Thu 2 Jan 2014, 16:04,
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I could....but I won't. Suffice to say he can be a scary bloke, by the sound of it.
Distance to my ears from original events = Friend of a friend and 20 years.
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Jabberwoc misses D.R. and Quinch, Thu 2 Jan 2014, 18:28,
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How to get rid of a spider
a big one, not like them little ones down there V V V
(, Thu 2 Jan 2014, 13:30, Share, Reply)
I would have flinched personally
Perhaps he was off his head on coke or some other balls of steel intoxicant
(
Jahled Three shades of black, Thu 2 Jan 2014, 13:49,
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I would have screamed like a woman and shat my pants by just being in the same room as that 8-legged cunt.
(
Fray Brentos *mega-belms*, Thu 2 Jan 2014, 14:33,
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It's much easier to cope with arachnids
if you view them as Yoda would:
"Size matters not. Look at me. Judge me by my size, do you? Hmm? Hmm. And well you should not. For my ally is the Force, and a powerful ally it is. Life creates it, makes it grow. Its energy surrounds us and binds us. Luminous beings are we, not this crude matter"
(
Jahled Three shades of black, Thu 2 Jan 2014, 14:49,
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Yeah, well he says that...
But if you dropped him into a pit with that thing he'd make Jedi parping noises and drop a little green log.
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Jabberwoc misses D.R. and Quinch, Thu 2 Jan 2014, 15:44,
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the author I believe is Durian Rider
troll on many forums and Strava
so much of a troll that one very hurt person set up this very bizarre anti durian rider website 30bananasadaysucks.com/
he is loved by vegans but thought of a mind controlling weirdo by others www.youtube.com/watch?v=xjx4LgK2LBA
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colmcq2, Thu 2 Jan 2014, 15:05,
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unbelivable commitment to cider
in B B B Birmingham
MASSIVE lolz at these characters
(, Thu 2 Jan 2014, 13:14, Share, Reply)
Yes!!!
I was a valued patron of this very establishment for many years, definitely on a par with Eurodisney for fun and entertainment,,,,,
(, Thu 2 Jan 2014, 13:50, Share, Reply)
*watches*
I hope 2014 brings a comprehensive, global nuclear war to eradicate the human race. It's the only way.
(
Tab Hunter Make this useless process end and so, begin again, Thu 2 Jan 2014, 13:45,
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fucking hell
i feel like a tea totaller now, need to up my game lol
(
Firkinfedup last shat on your wife's tits at, Thu 2 Jan 2014, 13:48,
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I had some Cheddar Valley Cider once.
Once was enough.
(
rjmrjm, Thu 2 Jan 2014, 14:23,
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They call that shit "Chernobyl" in my local. Disastrous stuff.
Rather drink that than Strongbow and all that fruit cider pish though.
For the first few minutes in the OP, I thought it was going to be a joke vid. Then I remembered the waifs and strays that I used to serve when I worked in my local. Could have made a decent/depressing film out of them too.
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Fray Brentos *mega-belms*, Thu 2 Jan 2014, 14:38,
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Google Chrome said the video was in portuguese.
I know some people struggle with a Brummie accent, but that's taking the piss.
The piss which those poor fucks would probably then drink with a lightbulb/rabbit snack accompaniment.
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sir_spicious2000 Crap I've watched: www.filmplop.blogspot.com/, Thu 2 Jan 2014, 15:18,
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oh contraire
getting fucked up is a way of life for the majority of
(
Firkinfedup last shat on your wife's tits at, Thu 2 Jan 2014, 15:31,
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No … he's right.
Depressing as fuck this video
(
Flash_Bastard, Thu 2 Jan 2014, 22:07,
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i wonder if there's a connection between the pubs closeness to the waste treatment plant, and the fact that they're all missing either teeth or eyes.
(, Thu 2 Jan 2014, 16:10, Share, Reply)
I thought my local was a bit pikey
Lost for words!
(
Turquoise Hexagon Sun has just dropped acid on, Thu 2 Jan 2014, 16:43,
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Just down the road from where I grew up, drank in there a few times :)
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mongbiscuit hasn't got much to say, Thu 2 Jan 2014, 18:45,
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I think there are pros and cons to this kind of place.
On the plus side, everyone knows everyone else and if someone doesn't turn up for a day's boozing, the others will probably ring his house or even send someone round to make sure nothing's the matter.
On the downside, they all look like they've wandered off the set of The Hills Have Eyes.
(
.Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Thu 2 Jan 2014, 19:37,
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I've driven past that place at 5am
those lot were outside drinking, not sure if it was a late night or early start.
(, Thu 2 Jan 2014, 19:47, Share, Reply)
Fackin' poosies
Who needs cider in order to shite themselves?
(
Flash_Bastard, Thu 2 Jan 2014, 22:06,
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D'you know what though?
I bet they're quite a nice bunch. Not saying I'd want to be a regular, though...
(, Fri 3 Jan 2014, 20:55, Share, Reply)
Alphabet Puzzle for the new year
Was our Christmas day puzzle took me about an hour with help from my sister, wife and mother in law. Some are pretty easy, others not so.
(
Peej, Thu 2 Jan 2014, 13:10,
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What am I meant to do?
name the things? And that took you more than 2 minutes?
I'm surely missing the point of this then.
(, Thu 2 Jan 2014, 13:25, Share, Reply)
Each picture represents a word that begins with the corresponding letter of the alphabet
Some are easy, for example B is Batman, C is Cat some however like E and F are not so easy. They are in order A to Z. The first is a sword but represents a word or words starting with A. Does that make more sense? Probably not. Either way I found it enjoyable and thought I would share.
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Peej, Thu 2 Jan 2014, 13:37,
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Where do I go with Tom Selleck?
(
Jahled Three shades of black, Thu 2 Jan 2014, 13:46,
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That one was one of the more obvious ones I thought,
E, F, I, N and R took me the longest
(
Peej, Thu 2 Jan 2014, 13:57,
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As a youth we used to measure cars by that Ferrari
(
Jahled Three shades of black, Thu 2 Jan 2014, 15:17,
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My attempt...may contain SPOILERS. a couple of minutes, off the top of my head.
arms?, Batman, cat, Darth, ???, Fight Club, ghost, Hal Jordon, idea, JRR Tolkien, King Kong, lightsabre, Magnum/moustache, ???, octopus, Poirot, Queen, ???, Selleck, Timmy Mallet, unicorn, Vivian, whiskey?, X chromosome, ???, Zig and Zag.
(, Thu 2 Jan 2014, 14:34, Share, Reply)
Not bad at all
Arms was wrong but the others you answered were correct.
(
Peej, Thu 2 Jan 2014, 15:25,
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Shark infested custard
Yellow and deadly
(
Cocodaye Miasere likes chips and peas, Thu 2 Jan 2014, 18:35,
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It's a hairy ...aaargh run away!
(
DinivanX Has stinging piss after drinking Pact Coffee, Thu 2 Jan 2014, 13:07,
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They were probably having an illegal all night rave or something
(
Jahled Three shades of black, Thu 2 Jan 2014, 13:47,
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FOX news interviews drunk girl at new year
with exactly the consequences you expect
(
colmcq2, Thu 2 Jan 2014, 12:56,
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Why is sticking out your tongue like you're a 6 year-old now a "thing"?
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DinivanX Has stinging piss after drinking Pact Coffee, Thu 2 Jan 2014, 13:03,
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Miley Cyrus must have done it once
(
gaijintendo Regular Member, Thu 2 Jan 2014, 13:23,
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Without wishing to sound unduly argumentative or pedantic
I can't be alone in finding Miley Cyrus to about as attractive or pretty as the backend of a rhinoceros with a bad case of diarrhea; all the more so when she's gyrating around a stage in front of an audience of millions with her tongue hanging out like a fucking retarded, witless spazz
(
Jahled Three shades of black, Thu 2 Jan 2014, 13:59,
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..
www.youtube.com/watch?v=plWnm7UpsXk
(
Jahled Three shades of black, Thu 2 Jan 2014, 14:31,
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She has the face of a pubescent boy & the body of a barely-pubescent girl with an eating disorder.
/something about Yewtree
(
Tab Hunter Make this useless process end and so, begin again, Thu 2 Jan 2014, 14:43,
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I think that's what I was trying to say
(
Jahled Three shades of black, Thu 2 Jan 2014, 14:51,
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You probably have sex with frozen chickens
(
spazzcaptain Misses Valin @, Thu 2 Jan 2014, 17:09,
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I agree
her face is very lop sided. Her left eye is higher and larger than her left. Which probably means her tits are too. Not that she has any (yet).
(
Firkinfedup last shat on your wife's tits at, Thu 2 Jan 2014, 15:56,
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As Chief Spazz I'd go with this.
There is something grotesque about her.
(
spazzcaptain Misses Valin @, Thu 2 Jan 2014, 17:07,
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hahaha
and why not. stupid fucking camerman. Over here he would of probably been headbutted or mugged.
(
Firkinfedup last shat on your wife's tits at, Thu 2 Jan 2014, 13:39,
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That was it? That lovely woman could only show her tongue?
I am disappoint.
(
gunmetal drove slowly in the passing lane on, Thu 2 Jan 2014, 13:57,
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prudish bitch!
she calls that fucking shit up??
(
Firkinfedup last shat on your wife's tits at, Thu 2 Jan 2014, 14:15,
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55 Sensational TV Screenshots
G.C. or not, some of these are great, especially 'Man arrested during haircut'
(
RompaStompa Stick it up your jumper, Thu 2 Jan 2014, 12:43,
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Mr T. "Pitys" the fool.
Someone else can tell him that it should be "pities".
(
Fray Brentos *mega-belms*, Thu 2 Jan 2014, 12:48,
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My colleage Tom's in there!
I had to Google Sara Blizzard just to be sure. There I learned she is the voice used for the Trafficmaster in-car information system.
I can go to lunch now
(
Jahled Three shades of black, Thu 2 Jan 2014, 12:53,
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Really?
Is he genuinely called a "Penguinologist"? Or was he annoyed when they put that?
(
Sheriff John Bunnell https://twitter.com/thewonderfulgam, Thu 2 Jan 2014, 12:54,
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I suspect he might be from now on when I forward that site around ZSL :)
Edit: www.quarkexpeditions.com/blog/2013/06/ask-dr-tom-hart-penguinologist/
Edit 2: Just been told he made the word up and it's now in the Oxford Dictionary.. class!
He's also no longer my colleague given he's now at Oxford, though currently in Antarctica, no doubt with his penguins
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Jahled Three shades of black, Thu 2 Jan 2014, 12:57,
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Aces
"Jeff Foster - Tired of birds"
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Sheriff John Bunnell https://twitter.com/thewonderfulgam, Thu 2 Jan 2014, 12:54,
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Cmon now,
we've all done #8.
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Jeccius Steam Borderlands 2 junkie, Thu 2 Jan 2014, 12:57,
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Number 4 is a fake though
The "job description" has been badly written in at a later date using MS Paint:
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DinivanX Has stinging piss after drinking Pact Coffee, Thu 2 Jan 2014, 12:58,
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That's mean.
Alan Moore's a lovely bloke.
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Extinct Jesus Dossier "...I think it counteracts Hitler's magic...", Thu 2 Jan 2014, 13:47,
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A spotted a few fakes
That poor woman's elephant answer over the size of the moon can't possibly be true, I mean no one could possibly..
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Jahled Three shades of black, Thu 2 Jan 2014, 13:52,
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Fresh Prince's Uncle Phil dies.
Fuck it, it wasn't as if it was a funny show or anything, and he didn't appear in anything else well-known, but any excuse to GC a bit of Dikekike's Fesh Pince of Blair.
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Fray Brentos *mega-belms*, Thu 2 Jan 2014, 11:08,
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I'm more upset that Shredder has died
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megapowerskills is farming apple meat, Thu 2 Jan 2014, 11:14,
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It's fucked up that video killed the radio star :'(
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Fray Brentos *mega-belms*, Thu 2 Jan 2014, 11:32,
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The episode I saw was quite funnt, where he turned up to the house fancy dress party in his usual clothes, as "Comfortable Man"
"...with my amazing bill-paying powers".
Yeah, well.
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fred zeppelin II: Electric Boogaloo, Thu 2 Jan 2014, 11:42,
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Julian Assange in an alternative Thought for The Day on the Today Programme.
Back story:
www.theguardian.com/media/2014/jan/02/julian-assange-surveillance-thought-for-the-day-wkileaks-pj-harvey
His use of scripture is interesting.
(, Thu 2 Jan 2014, 11:04, Share, Reply)
And while they are spending all this dosh on reading eamils to your mom
www.theguardian.com/society/2014/jan/02/one-in-10-jobless-yougov-poll
Why not spend it on education? Heh?
Makes me mad.
(, Thu 2 Jan 2014, 11:09, Share, Reply)
Yeah! My mum isn't interested in hearing what is in all your emails.
Who is going to read them out to her?
How long will it take?
Will she be provided with tea and cakes?
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MyFrontFellOff ; his mouth full of teddies, urinating defiantly, Thu 2 Jan 2014, 11:33,
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but if they don't read your emails, then that's more people out of work
you heartless bastard
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HappyToast Groat froth, Thu 2 Jan 2014, 11:43,
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They are also continuing to demonise the unemployed,
which can't exactly help with the self esteem issues mentioned.
I wonder if the "nothing to live for" is a side-effect of the way people usually define themselves by what they do for work, which no longer makes sense now that people rarely work in what they are most qualified for, want to do, or even doing work which needs to be done.
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monkeon schmonkeon, Thu 2 Jan 2014, 11:48,
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What's the alternative?
Celebrating unemployment? Work - unqualified, reluctant or futile - is going to remain a defining factor of our lives until we live in some Iain Banks utopia. It's shit but it's a mite less shit than unemployment.
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After you my dear Alfonse No. After you., Thu 2 Jan 2014, 12:33,
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Celebrating what people add to society
would be the alternative. Make that the status symbol.
At the moment, we don't even celebrate work, we celebrate wealth and in doing so encourage greed rather than kindness or skill. Work done well rarely pays financially, and neither does kindness.
"What do you do in your spare time" is always a far more revealing question than "What do you do for a living".
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monkeon schmonkeon, Thu 2 Jan 2014, 13:35,
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But sometimes
People LIKE what they do for work.
Most people I know in building/manufacturing/seafaring trades will have the "proud" moment when they have poured the perfect concrete or something that nobody will ever notice.
Not everybody can work in an office. And even if they could, they are happier welding in a snowstorm than bonking Jane from accounting over the copier in warm office..
Education should value more manual labour and get kids to study it without having the "Dumbarse" label stuck on.
The only "real" millionaires I know are plumbers, builders or electricians.
(, Thu 2 Jan 2014, 13:54, Share, Reply)
You are more fun when we disagree
Be the grammar nazi or someth.
(, Thu 2 Jan 2014, 14:30, Share, Reply)
I was agreeing with Monkeon
things can go back to normal now
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Jahled Three shades of black, Thu 2 Jan 2014, 15:57,
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That world exists.
A world where you do your day job for cash reward, but kindness, work done well and work you do for society all come with a much bigger prize. It's Christianity. We traded it for science. And I'm not entirely convinced that was such a good deal.
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After you my dear Alfonse No. After you., Thu 2 Jan 2014, 15:07,
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You mean the middle ages?
Lovely times those were!
Wife learnt how to read? Burn her at the stake like the witch she is etc.
Christianity moral values is stuffed a mile high up a choirboy's arse. Their perceived moral high ground is the cesspit of the worst depravity.
Let your priests marry and get to appreciate women with tits, hairy bits, the capacity to argue and make lovely children.
Maybe then they will stop stuffing the shrill voiced staff up the stuffing box.
Religion has in no way, shape or form helped humanity. Some people of faith helped, but their respective science fiction best-sellers did not.
Edit: I respect the fact that people have a religion, because not everybody is born with the capacity to distinguish right from wrong without a self-help book. But I despise ALL religions fairly and equally.
(, Thu 2 Jan 2014, 15:16, Share, Reply)
Not really
Christianity only really rewards people for being Christian. Someone amazing gets the same reward as someone awful who apologised, and I don't think it says anything about useful work being better than work-for-works sake.
Science should allow us to have more and work less, if capitalism wasn't so full of holes.
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monkeon schmonkeon, Thu 2 Jan 2014, 15:34,
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Someone amazing gets the same reward as someone awful who became amazing.
Would be more accurate. Anyway it's not coming back. And now democracy and, as you say, capitalism are the twin pillars of our civilisation. And neither of them are likely to reward volunteers, the kind or the quietly conscientious. But I suspect they're the best we've got.
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After you my dear Alfonse No. After you., Thu 2 Jan 2014, 15:54,
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It's not "Christianity", it's "being a decent human being"
Christianity is that plus carrots & sticks.
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Tab Hunter Make this useless process end and so, begin again, Thu 2 Jan 2014, 16:38,
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I'm all for "contemporary mass surveillance" if it goes some way to preventing the tube carriage i'm in being blown to pieces by a bomb
at the simplest level
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Jahled Three shades of black, Thu 2 Jan 2014, 11:23,
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Well it does not
No operative with a brain would use internet, emails or the phone to pass information.
It would be akin to Osama bin Laden asking the CIA to give a letter to Ayman al-Zawahiri and "promising not read it". And hoping they would not put a 1000 pound bunker buster from a B2 through each letter box.
So , normally it's disposable couriers with heavily encrypted USB sticks...
So you need people on the ground doing human intelligence, not dorks reading emails to your mom. And then not bloody ignoring said intelligence.
The only notable exception is money, following transfers and a accounts. But banks are in noooooo way linked to making money off drug cartel and worse. And they are also the only ones with the funds to be able with NSA toe to toe.
So, if NSA and it's peers are hoarding all this info that is useless against terrorism, why is it being hoarded? I can only see economic reasons, not safety.
(, Thu 2 Jan 2014, 11:37, Share, Reply)
that all depends on what type of encryption you are using
we are pioneering a new identity based cryptographic algorithm with a tonne of extra security features. Like distributed key servers, no one server knows the master key and it's never stored on disk, you would have to hack 3 individual servers and dump the memory from all of them then try and work out how to combine the parts. Even then the parts only make a valid key when combined by the user, in their browser using true end to end 2 factor authentication.
Security online is more that possible, it's big companies and the government that are fucking it up for everyone else. Microsofts phone factor acquisition is a joke, it took me half an hour to get a code sent to my phone and it's not even true 2 factor. That could easily be intercepted.
Edit: It's hard times in the security industry unless you are google, then you just make some stupid gimmick like face recognition to unlock your phone, everyone buys it, even though it sucks.
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Firkinfedup last shat on your wife's tits at, Thu 2 Jan 2014, 11:51,
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Even if you can't read the message
you know where it came from and where it'ss going.
And there's an app to load that into a Predator's Hellfire.
Even with "crackable" 128 encryption, if you layer it, like 3 deep, good luck breaking it before our first space ship gets to Proxima Centauri.
So, the only ones getting hit are normal people working for normal companies.
Edit; you are right about Microsoft... Back in 2009ish, I thought that with my 15 letter password my PC was safe.
So I got into an argument with our resident hacker/IT dude over lunch.
We got back to the office, he stuck a hard drive in as a master, and booted it in DOS (!), rummaged around a bit, found the file, copied it, removed hard drive.
Done. 5 minutes. He then beat windows encryption in less than 5 minutes with a little program he had written because he was "fucking tired of salespeople losing their passwords".
A few months later, we had our own tailor made encryption...
The passwords were stuff you could remember but long. Like: "My mum has a 350z with a blower and a lift"... Made up stuff, the longer the funnier the better, but never "real" stuff. My mum does not have a 350z. Etc.
Made me respect our IT dudes more.
(, Thu 2 Jan 2014, 11:56, Share, Reply)
Sounds totally reasonable.
Although why he used a harddrive rather than a bootable USB drive (I've got one on my key ring for
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DinivanX Has stinging piss after drinking Pact Coffee, Thu 2 Jan 2014, 12:32,
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This was with Windows 2000
I think they used bootable USB with XP onwards.
But I could be wrong.
(, Thu 2 Jan 2014, 12:35, Share, Reply)
hahaha thats how most genius things are made
People having enough with stupid people.
i like affirming statements as they serve 2 purposes, subliminal and passphrase complexity. Like "I'm at my happiest when sober". Which is a lie but still lol.
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Firkinfedup last shat on your wife's tits at, Thu 2 Jan 2014, 12:34,
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Becuase the information is very useful to catch low level crime
The assumption being is that "everyone is at it", so collect everything and eventually everyone will prove themselves guilty of a small infraction and you already have the proof to hand.
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DinivanX Has stinging piss after drinking Pact Coffee, Thu 2 Jan 2014, 11:59,
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Then target low level criminals
Not the whole bloody country.
The cops have a good idea who they are.
Spend the freed up resources to hire more real coppers to actually walk these mean streets.
(, Thu 2 Jan 2014, 12:34, Share, Reply)
This is going to sound horribly leftie but the police think everyone is a criminal
With the possible exception of a minority of other cops.
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DinivanX Has stinging piss after drinking Pact Coffee, Thu 2 Jan 2014, 13:01,
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But everyone IS a criminal
I have never met anyone who hasn't done something illegal/immoral in their lives, but 99% of these misdemeanors are not a problem.
Why do we fine people for spitting when we allow cats to crap everywhere and anywhere they want to?
The more people are surveiled the more people are criminalised for nothing
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CanonCaliber A big bore, Thu 2 Jan 2014, 14:12,
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It's about "profiling"
Already people are being prosecuted for fitting the "profile" of an offender even though they havent done anything.
The more info they have on people, the more people they can fit into their "profiles" and spy on/prosecute.
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CanonCaliber A big bore, Thu 2 Jan 2014, 12:39,
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Well, someone's got to catch the stupid terrorists, too.
But I think your last point is in line with what Eddie Snowy was telling people, that the surveillance is mostly for economic purposes. Just like pretty much everything else then.
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Extinct Jesus Dossier "...I think it counteracts Hitler's magic...", Thu 2 Jan 2014, 12:00,
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Me too
Any objections I might have had to CCTV ended when the faces of the failed London bombers were all over the media within hours of their escape.
The level of fiendish mastermind that we're talking about is of the calibre of the criminal genius who crashed a car into Glasgow Airport terminal building and then set fire to himself. Or the two eggheads who killed a soldier and then hung about for the police to show up. They're properly rubbish. And I doubt they have the intelligence to use elaborate covert communication methods.
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After you my dear Alfonse No. After you., Thu 2 Jan 2014, 11:58,
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I totally agree with CCTV
Or targeted surveillance.
I object to STASI like dragnet approach.
It's a massive waste of money, resources at the cost of our liberty.
I only object to some aspects, not to everything.
(, Thu 2 Jan 2014, 12:19, Share, Reply)
I don't feel that my liberty's compromised
In the unlikely event that some spook is poring over my emails. The only emotion I would feel would be compassion. The poor fucker would be bored shitless.
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After you my dear Alfonse No. After you., Thu 2 Jan 2014, 12:26,
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My company was on the receiving end of "attention" a few years back...
And it made me re-evaluate my position. It was not fun at all.
But if your work does not include proprietary info, then why care?
(, Thu 2 Jan 2014, 12:31, Share, Reply)
Sarah Palin has got an interresting voice
Not many neurons to run it however.
(, Thu 2 Jan 2014, 11:43, Share, Reply)
interesting in a nails down a blackboard kind of way
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HappyToast Groat froth, Thu 2 Jan 2014, 11:44,
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Interesting as nails under nails kind of way.
Whacketywhack, don't scream back.
(, Thu 2 Jan 2014, 11:49, Share, Reply)
Another?
When was the first?
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evil_andy Stick stick stick stick sticky sticky stick stick, Thu 2 Jan 2014, 13:40,
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Acoustic standing wave thingy
Been done before, but these guys just upped the ante a bit
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simbosan liked your link on, Thu 2 Jan 2014, 7:41,
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*Docks into space station to trade narcotics*
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Cerebus Sticky! Sticky! Stick! Stick!, Thu 2 Jan 2014, 8:08,
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You idiot McFly! Hoverboards don't work on water...
..oh no wait, their one does. Awesome!
Article at:
arxiv.org/ftp/arxiv/papers/1312/1312.4006.pdf
(, Thu 2 Jan 2014, 11:29, Share, Reply)
Scale this up and operate it with brown noise.
It would be messy comedy gold.
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MyFrontFellOff ; his mouth full of teddies, urinating defiantly, Thu 2 Jan 2014, 11:36,
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