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This Week:
* CLAYMATION - Leehardcastle's best work yet
* QUIZ - Name that Xmas song thingie
* PROJECT - Swearing Fruit Orchestra

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________  ____ __  ___
____/  _)|_  // /_/ _ | "We've saving the web so    
___/  _ |/_ </ __/ __ |  the spiders don't have 
__/____/____/\__/_/ |_|   to build one next year"

B3ta email 559  - 14 Dec 2012

Read this issue in a slightly different font size:
http://b3ta.com/newsletter/issue559 

   Telnet :  b3ta-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
 Smellnet : b3ta-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com
  
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: DOODLE COOK
  Bread baking kits for kids (sponsored link)
  
  Doodle Cook produce Doodle bread baking kits for
  kids - crazy-looking bread with fun shapes
  printed through the entire loaf like Blackpool
  is printed in rock. 20% reduction for b3tans
  from £15 to £12 using the code b3ta. 
http://www.doodlecook.com/

  
  >> Sponsor B3ta <<
  Want this space? Then talk to us.
http://b3ta.com/mailus/


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: WHAT B3TA PEOPLE HAVE BEEN MAKING THIS WEEK
  Aliens, Christmas & Swearing Fruit

  >> An Alien Claymation <<
  Prediction: either Leehardcastle has extreme
  personality disorders which will prevent him
  from realising his talent - or someone will
  eventually give him a budget and he'll make hit
  films. His alien claymation is stunning - the
  pace, the humour and the ability to get the
  audience gripped by giving them something to
  care about. Brilliant - and we look forward to
  being guests at his premiere.
http://www.b3ta.com/links/AN_ALIEN_CLAYMATION


  >> What Christmas music quiz! <<
  "Hey, I made a quiz, it took almost forever to
  make, so please try it!", writes RarelyEvil,
  "Can YOU guess where the 'Christmases' are
  from? If you get enough questions right you'll
  win a surprise that can make ANY song into a
  Christmas song! (As if anyone would want
  that...)" Hehe, fun and nice pay-off.
http://xmas.rarelyevil.com/


  >> Swearing Fruit Orchestra <<
  Your Ginger Fuhrer writes, "B3tan Matt Round
  sent me a Makey Makey this morning - a kit
  keyboard that connects up to anything that'll
  conduct a current. First thing I tried was to
  plug it into some fruit and made it talk to
  Buffy's Swearing Keyboard."
http://b3ta.com/links/Swearing_Fruit_Orchestra

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: AMAZON TAT
  Tampax review

  Uncomfortable at first, but soo long-lasting.
  It's the photo that makes it.
http://www.amazon.co.uk/exec/obidos/ASIN/B0011N1G08/b3ta-21 


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: QUESTION OF THE WEEK
  Made Me Laugh
  
  Last week we needed cheering up. So we asked
  what had made you laugh recently:
http://b3ta.com/questions/mademelaugh/

  * CUNTS - "A friend and I were walking up the
  very steep ridge to Headingley when a pack of
  feral kids (eldest 10 maybe) stepped out in
  front of us. 'Give us a quid, mister.' I ignored
  them, my friend told them to piss off. From that
  moment we had an entourage. 'Cunts!' 'Wankers!'
  'Shit Wankers!' 'Shit cunt wankers!' They
  followed us a way up the hill, then got bored of
  walking and just shouted. Around the corner at
  the top of the hill, a smart, respectable
  looking bloke in his 40-50s appeared, strolling
  towards us as the young scamps below maintained
  their one-sided conversation. ('Fucking shit
  cunt wanker cunts'... 'Shit puffs') He turned to
  us, 'It appears you have a reputation.'" (Larry
  Death)
  
  * NOSE - "My grandpa teases his (toddler age)
  grand-kids with the whole 'Got your nose!'
  thing. The end of the game will always be him
  tapping the kid's nose - it's still there! what
  a shock! - and going, 'Dink!' My 4-year-old
  cousin had apparently had enough of this game,
  as she waited for Grandpa to fall asleep, snuck
  up on him, punched him full in the nose shouting
  'DINNNNK!' at the top of her voice, and legged
  it, laughing maniacally." (Sivvus)

  * SKULL - "Overheard, walking past the
  supermarket Halloween display, mother to child:
  'You've got a skull! I'm not buying you another
  one!'" (Ambegris)


  >> This Week - OVERCOMING ADVERSITY <<
  Have you fought back from a terrible illness?
  Got out of a job that was going nowhere? Secured
  a great victory against the odds through
  dishonesty and cheating? Warm our hearts here:
http://b3ta.com/questions/mademelaugh/


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: B3TANS ON TV THIS XMAS
  Your Radio Times style guide

  * C4 MASHED - Friday 28 December 11.40pm Some
  familiar B3tan names in C4 show Mashed. Count
  them. Actually there's more than mentioned on
  the website: not only Cassetteboy, Dan Bull &
  your Ginger Fuhrer but also Monkeon, Happy Toast
  and Superpowerless. 
http://bit.ly/Z2Wg32


  * UNCLE WORMSLEY - Joel Veitch's Christmas story
  with Steve Coogan narating is on Sky Atlantic
  HD, Christmas Eve at 10pm, Christmas Day at 7pm
  & Boxing Day at 3pm.
http://www.unclewormsley.com/index.html


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: SITES IN BRIEF
  Stuff we like that wasn't made by our mates

  >> The animated GIFs of Wikipedia <<
  One at a time, random, press space for more.
http://www.wikigifs.org/  


  >> Google 1960s emulator <<
  Lovely, and we recognise the punchcards too -
  they must have lurked on into the early 1980s
  and been used for grading junior school
  examinations - or at least that's what they
  remind us of.
http://www.masswerk.at/google60/


  >> Making things for the web <<
  Not being content creators or having ever
  worked for the web there isn't a line in this
  we can identify. PS. We'm fibbing.
http://theoatmeal.com/comics/making_things


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: VIDEO SCHMIDEO
  Imagine you could watch TV on your Atari Lynx

  * MAWKISH 70s POP SONG - Some YouTube comments
  are occasionally gold, "Oh look, it's David
  Cameron reading out the national budget."
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k_1nkUbepaU


  * BRIGHTON XMAS LIGHTS - we'd like this to be
  true but we've seen too many internet virally
  things in our time to believe it. Nicely done
  though.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gCgV-FnEcGQ&sns=em


  * BEYONCE vs. YAKETY SAX - Boots Randolph's
  fine recording improves everything.
http://bit.ly/VF0tSX


  * MAD PEOPLE EXISTED IN THE OLD DAYS TOO -
  "About five years ago, I was in my backyard
  entertaining a friend with my hands." Chap
  with, um, idiosyncratic camera presence
  demonstrates his potty clapping machine. A very
  silly, little video that crams in more
  awkwardness than seems reasonable.
http://bit.ly/WbhpT6


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: FUNNY NAME CORNER 

  * CLINT IS ALWAYS A PROBLEMATIC NAME - btw: his
  surname is Eastwood because his wood hangs to
  the east.
http://bit.ly/Z5leyU

&#8207;  * COCK ARTIST TOLD OFF - this is the story of
  our life in one frame.
http://www.b3ta.com/links/B3tan_reacts_to_telling_off


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: PATRICK MOORE OBIT
  He doesn't play the xylophone anymore :(

  Long-term readers will remember our 'Patrick
  Moore Plays the Xylophone' project, but few
  knew that Sir Pat once sent us a C90 he
  recorded himself. Read on.
http://bit.ly/12g06Uj


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: B3TA IMAGE CHALLENGE
  Results from the Xmas Card Challenge

  Last week we wanted you to celebrate beards

  Your favourites included:
 
  * TERRY WOGAN BUMMED BY SNOWMAN - drawn by
  Butters and probably Tex would need a bit of
  butter to lube that. 
http://b3ta.com/board/10893436  
  
 
  * EQUAL OPPORTUNITY SEXY CARDS - from HappyToast
  although he did miss out the transgendered and
  asexual community. And furries.
http://b3ta.com/board/10894084  


  * DISTURBING ADVENT CALENDAR - thanks to The
  Coast Of Yemen - something to make the kids sob
  this Xmas.
http://b3ta.com/board/10893064
  

  All these images, and the highest as voted by
  you can be found here:
http://b3ta.com/challenge/xmas/popular/


  >> New challenge: Accidents Waiting To Happen <<
  It's the opening scene in Casualty. You know - a
  man up a ladder chainsawing his hedge with a dog
  chained to a rung. A squirrel runs past...
  design a disaster waiting to happen. Challenge
  suggested by Monkeon.
http://b3ta.com/challenge/accidents/popular/


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: WHAT HAPPENED NEXT?
  Follow-ups on previous stories.

  * SHED OF THE YEAR - &#8207;@unclewilco tweets, "You
  could always mention that #shedoftheyear 2013
  is open for entries. Can a #pubshed take the
  title again?"
http://sheds.ws/4kvYAb  


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: STAR IN NEXT WEEK'S ISSUE

  Make something cool and tell us about it. If
  you are in it then people will see your stuff.

  Things we'd really like to see include

  * NEW THINGS TO DO WITH MAKEY MAKEY - ok we've
  done swearing fruit - what next? And what will
  you do?
  
  * NIPPLE BLASTERS - no idea what this means,
  you should make some though.
  
  * A BUTTON THAT STOPS RAIN - as it's pissing it
  down whilst we type these words.

  Send contributions via the mail form.
http://www.b3ta.com/mailus/

  BTW: If you've sent something in that hasn't
  been featured then don't be put off - we look
  at everything you send us.


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    Lucky:  b3ta-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
    Fucky:  b3ta-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com

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  THANKS:
  This issue was written by Rob Manuel with David
  Stevenson. Stuff sent in by mrandrist,
  &#8207;@aljwhite, @doomladen, @pharcyder, jams, Carl
  Mesner Lyons, &#8207;@flashboy, @ChrisShawEditor,
  Wahey and Puerile Digital Arts Community, Image
  challenge by Fraser Lewry. Mike Trinder is QOTW
  bloke. Subjlols via Smallbrainfield.
  
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  TOP TIP:
  How to read e-books in this age of infinite
  digital distraction.
http://bit.ly/QYn9k5

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