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NEWSLETTER: WEETABIX IN A BOTTLE???

 
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This Week:
* BLOWN - Your biggest opportunities
* PUFF DADDY - Fails at Twitter
* SHERLOCK - is weird and incompetent

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________  ____ __  ___
____/  _)|_  // /_/ _ | "We're saving     
___/  _ |/_ </ __/ __ |    the web...
__/____/____/\__/_/ |_|     eventually"

B3ta email 627  - 11 Apr 2014

Hit this newsletter where it hurts: 
http://b3ta.com/newsletter/issue627 

   Bigs : b3ta-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
   Smalls : b3ta-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com
  
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: WHAT B3TA PEOPLE HAVE BEEN MAKING THIS WEEK

  >> More accurate Tour of British Accents <<
  "I tweaked a few things [from the viral hit
  currently doing the rounds] to make it more
  concise," writes mysticmurray. "And better."
http://youtu.be/lBXBNY3jFk4


  >> Cowbrain Spacecomputer <<
  "Here's a new music video I made for some crazy
  Swedes at Mutant Swing Records," exclaims
  smearballs. "It's a bit inspired by Cyriak's
  cows but more like its hastily executed,
  retarded cousin who doesn't get invited to the
  family functions."
http://www.b3ta.com/links/Cowbrain_Spacecomputer


  >> PS4 vs XBOX One <<
  "Here's a video I made for Mashed and b3ta's
  own Superpowerless," explains Butters. "A
  mighty rap battle to decide the best console."
http://www.b3ta.com/links/PS4_vs_XBOX_One


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: USVSTH3M

  * GIFtris - Let's design your game of animated
  Tetris!
http://games.usvsth3m.com/giftris/

  * How Fast Is Your Brain? - Can you answer the
  comprehension questions correctly as you’re
  forced to read faster & faster?
http://games.usvsth3m.com/how-fast-is-your-brain/

  * Amateur Hacker Simulator - How many nerdy
  easter eggs can you find?
http://games.usvsth3m.com/amateur-hacker-simulator/


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: QUESTION OF THE WEEK
  Biggest Blown Opportunities
  
  Last week we asked for the biggest thing you
  turned down through laziness, indifference or
  sheer idiocy:
http://b3ta.com/questions/blownopportunities/


  * NAILED IT - "In the early 90s I auditioned to
  review films alongside Johnny Vaughan on the
  telly. All I had to do was be filmed talking
  about the last movie I saw. The last film I'd
  seen was Evita starring Madonna, but I was so
  nervous my mind went completely blank. My
  opening line of my review was, 'It's got Jimmy
  Nail in it.' I then repeated, 'It's got Jimmy
  Nail in it' a further 8 times. Each time I
  delivered the line in slightly different ways.
  Finally I held up a board with 4 stars on it.
  The producers looked shocked and stunned. I
  left in silence and funnily enough didn't hear
  from them again." (Frankiepigeon)
  
  * KONG - "The friend who first taught me to
  photoshop had a long standing desire to emigrate
  to New Zealand with his family. He also wanted
  to do what he did best: mess around with
  pictures all day long. So when he was offered a
  job in New Zealand working for a new film
  company who were rumoured to be planning a
  remake of King Kong, I was quite surprised when
  he said to me that he'd only accept if they were
  definitely doing King Kong. When they couldn't
  disclose what film they'd be making next, he
  turned them down. He's regretted it ever since,
  as he's always been a big Lord of the Rings
  geek..." (dorje)
  
  * IF - "If I had any talent and had practiced
  all the time and if I was lucky enough to be
  'spotted' at a young age and signed up to a top
  club and if I had any interest in football
  whatsoever and if my talent was nurtured in the
  right way and if I had a good agent with my best
  interests at heart who guided me through the
  best transfers I could have really been a
  contender. And there's a fairly good chance I
  could get these damn rape charges dropped."
  (Figmaus)


  >> This Week - Drunk Shopping <<
  For most people this is pretty harmless - the
  odd duplicate CD, a dodgy morphsuit - but last
  time we asked this question, someone had bought
  their own gravestone:
http://b3ta.com/questions/drunkshopping/


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: SITES IN BRIEF
  Stuff we like that wasn't made by our mates

  >> Puff Daddy Twitter fail <<
  P Diddy tries to get his old Twitter handle
  back. Fake but still funny.
http://goo.gl/lwWY5b


  >> World's worst school science project <<
  Photoshopped photos of epically uninspiring
  school science projects.
http://goo.gl/GaMTRu


  >> Untrusted game <<
  You need to hack JavaScript to get out of the
  maze - a good one if your job involves
  debugging in any way.
http://alexnisnevich.github.io/untrusted/


  >> The selfie flowchart <<
  Should you take a selfie? This infographic has
  the answers.
http://goo.gl/g1opaE


  >> Composers doing normal shit <<
  Here's Rachmaninoff in a fucking hammock.
  Here's Debussy getting pissed. Who would have
  thought young musicians could act like this??
http://composersdoingnormalshit.tumblr.com/


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: VIDEO SCHMIDEO

  >> Interviewer fail <<
  Dutch reporter should think twice before
  interviewing people on a yacht. The result is
  inevitable. Also, it's a fake - but still
  enjoyable, no?
http://b3ta.com/links/Interviewer_fail


  >> Pupils prank mobilephone-hating teacher <<
  Good natured gag as students play an April
  Fools on the teacher who makes them take their
  calls on speaker, if it rings in his class.
http://b3ta.com/links/1163315/


  >> How to tell the time in Italy <<
  Top tip for telling the time in the countryside.
http://b3ta.com/links/How_To_Tell_The_Time_In_Italy


  >> Sherlock's not dead <<
  He's --anal-- alive! Dead-on Sherlock parody
  with lovely autocomplete gags.
http://b3ta.com/links/Hes_not_dead


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    Blusher: b3ta-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
    Foundation: b3ta-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com

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  THANKS:
  This issue was written by Rob Manuel with
  David Stevenson. Stuff sent in by colmcq2,
  notoolsovernight, sinisterduck, Turquoise
  Hexagon Sun, skeltonator, Queef In a Jar, Mex3,
  jams and buffet_the_appetite_slayer.
  Image challenge by Fraser Lewry.
  Mike Trinder is QOTW bloke.
  Top tip via SpanishFly.
  
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  TOP TIP:
  Apple, why not make the next iPhone a landline,
  as it seems they're only useful when attached
  to a fucking wall.

 
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