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NEWSLETTER: HAPPY BIRTHTIME HELEN KELLER!

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This Week:
* FIGHT - Which thing is best?
* ZOMBIE - Tip-top topical Suarez 
* HECKLES - Your favourite comedy put-downs

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________  ____ __  ___
____/  _)|_  // /_/ _ | "We're shaving the yak...     
___/  _ |/_ </ __/ __ |        together"
__/____/____/\__/_/ |_|   

B3ta email 635 - 27 Jun 2014

Read this issue on your Google iBollock:
http://b3ta.com/newsletter/issue635

   Sub : b3ta-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
   Snub : b3ta-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com
  
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: PACT COFFEE, DELIVERED TO YOUR DOOR (Sponsored)
  Exclusive B3ta offer, delicious fresh coffee 
 
  Get your first 250g bag of Pact Coffee sent to
  home or work for just £1 when you use code
  'b3ta' here: 
http://bit.ly/1xbIF7P


-------------------------------------------------

: INTRODUCING 'FIGHT'
  The new either/or game from UsVsTh3m
  
  We're made a tool that allows anyone - including
  you - to set up a quick either/or fight. They're
  simple to do and a lot of fun to broadcast.
  Instant lists = trollbait in a tin.

  Here's three we made earlier:
	
  * What is the ULTIMATE CAT GIF? The world says:
  This one, with 4,228 total votes cast:
http://games.usvsth3m.com/fight/what-is-the-ultimate-cat-gif/fight


  * Which lady MP is the sexiest? The world says:
  Luciana Berger MP, with 9,982 total votes cast.
  (There's also a male version of this if you
  click around)
http://games.usvsth3m.com/fight/which-lady-mp-is-the-sexiest

  
  * 100 ZX Spectrum Games: But which one was BEST?
  The world says: Bubble Bobble, with 572 total
  votes cast.
http://games.usvsth3m.com/fight/100-zx-spectrum-games-but-which-one-was-best


  * CREATE YOUR OWN FIGHTS USING OUR MAGIC ADMIN
    TOOL:
http://games.usvsth3m.com/fight/new


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: WHAT B3TA PEOPLE HAVE BEEN MAKING THIS WEEK
  The 'I made this' bit
  
  >> "I took photos from 120,000 ft" <<
  Ugi writes, "As a project with the kids, I built
  a GPS radio tracker and we sent it on a weather
  balloon 120,000 ft (38 km) into the
  stratosphere. This is how I made the tracker
  with links on the first page to the photos and
  slide-show of the trip."
http://www.instructables.com/id/Make-a-High-Altitude-Balloon-Tracker-Arduino/
  
  
  >> Stunning realistical drawing <<
  RompaStompa sighs, "Just simply stunning."
http://www.b3ta.com/links/Even_awesomer_stunning_realistical_drawing


  >> Zombie Suarez <<
  Leehardcastle ponders, "Topical, why not?"
http://www.b3ta.com/links/Zombie_Suarez


  >> Crowdsourced lyrics <<
  Superpowerless barks, "I thought it would be a
  good idea to ask for lyric contributions via
  twitter and facebook... this is the result!"
http://www.b3ta.com/links/Crowd_Sourced_Lyrics


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: QUESTION OF THE WEEK
  Heckles

  We asked you for your best heckles:
http://b3ta.com/questions/hecklesagain/


  * HIGHER - "Someone shouted a one-word heckle at
  me: 'HIGHER!' I can't thank him enough, my best
  moment on a stage ever." (mushybees)
http://youtu.be/SMbrCYBIAu8
    

  * HBO - "I got seated in the front row at the
  Comedy Store in Los Angeles last year and this
  right cunt of a comedian was asking everyone
  one by one what they did for a living and
  subsequently taking the piss. He wasn't all
  that funny, just mean spirited and was drawing
  at strings to keep his act together.

  "He made fun of my choice of clothing and then
  asked me what I did for a living. I promptly
  lied and told him that I am a comedy scout for
  HBO looking for new talent and that I'd yet to
  see anything worth writing home about. Audience
  laughed, he stopped in his tracks, moved on to
  someone else, got no crowd reaction and ended
  his set early. Edit: Yeah that's right I said
  'drawing at strings'" (smearballs)


  * BLUE - "Stand up competition, largely crap try
  outs such as myself, including the one on before
  me. A portly chap, a younger Roy Chubby Brown
  type, telling rude jokes about vaginas and the
  like. Sporting a bright blue double-breasted
  suit jacket, he ran on stage, confidently
  grabbed the mic and pointed to the garment
  shouting "I'm wearing this tonight ladies and
  gentlemen, to give you all a clue what my act's
  about." He waited expectantly for at least one
  audience member to shout back, 'Is it blue?' One
  bloke at the back of the pub called back loudly,
  'Is it about jackets?'" (CharlieSomethingElse)


  >> This Week: FALSE ECONOMIES <<
  Sometimes the cheapest option is the best one.
  Tell us about times you or others have been let
  down by being a cheapskate:
http://b3ta.com/questions/falseeconomies/


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: VIDEO SCHMIDEO
  Like a VHS that never runs out

  *  Breaking Bad styled as the Mr Men - pretty
  natural choice although not, possibly, as
  natural as Reservoir Dogs Mister Men.
http://www.b3ta.com/links/Breaking_Bad_Mr_Men


  * Fireworks filmed with a drone. Very pretty,
  and now you like drones instead of fearing your
  imminent death.
http://www.b3ta.com/links/Fireworks_filmed_with_a_drone


  * Seagull picks the wrong place to sit and it's
  safe to say that this seagull won't make that
  mistake again.
http://www.b3ta.com/links/Seagull_picks_the_wrong_place_to_sit


  * Do you remember the girl who got hit over the
  head with a shovel? BANG. BANG. BANG. 
http://digg.com/video/girl-who-got-hit-in-the-head-with-a-shovel-gets-the-remix-she-deserves


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: SITES IN BRIEF
  Stuff we like that wasn't made by our mates

  >> All the world's lightning strikes in real time <<
  It's strangely satisfying listening to the
  clicks. Looks like Texas is getting a battering
  at the moment.
http://www.blitzortung.org/Webpages/index.php?lang=en&page_0=30


  >> Live map showing global hacking attacks  <<
  Looks pretty cool, everyone hates the USA by the
  looks of it. Asif! 
http://map.ipviking.com/?_ga=1.106938115.1477390587.1388686673#


  >> Current tech made retro <<
  Turns out all your iJunk would look a lot cooler
  if it was designed by Atari in the 1970s.
http://www.behance.net/gallery/545221/ALT1977-WE-ARE-NOT-TIME-TRAVELERS


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: B3TA IMAGE CHALLENGE
  Results from 'Invent an animal' 

  Last week we asked you to play God and invent
  some new creatures that would make David
  Attenborough giggle.
 
  Our favourites included:
 
  * CLANGEROO: Hop away little pink thing!
   (Rubber Dubya)
http://b3ta.com/board/11084531
 
  * CATBOX: Feline evilution (dolphinwhisperer)
http://b3ta.com/board/11084059
  
  * CATBEAR: So cuddly it hurts (Ninj)
http://b3ta.com/board/11084753
  
  All these images, and your favourites can be
  found here:
http://b3ta.com/challenge/inventanimals/


   >> New challenge: The Bigger Picture <<
  This weeks challenge is expand familiar artwork
  beyond its frame. Show us what the original
  artist cropped out. Suggested by cinquante neuf.
http://b3ta.com/challenge/biggerpicture/


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    Hi: b3ta-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
    Bye: b3ta-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com

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  THANKS:
  This issue was written by Rob Manuel with David
  Stevenson. Stuff sent in by RompaStompa,
  penrose, Beh3moth, Turquoise Hexagon Sun,
  RompaStompa, The Togaboy & :remixed. Image
  challenge by Fraser Lewry. Mike Trinder is
  QOTW bloke.
    
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: AND FINALLY! VOTE ON THE BEST NUMBER!

  The voting patterns in 'which number' are
  fascinating. You LOVE variations on 69, regular
  numbers & hate 4.
http://games.usvsth3m.com/fight/numbers-1-to-1000-which-is-better


-------------------------------------------------

: PACT COFFEE, DELIVERED TO YOUR DOOR (Sponsored)
  Exclusive B3ta offer, delicious fresh coffee 
 
  LOOK. We're repeating the ad again. Notice it.
  Buy some coffee ok? Would it really kill you to
  buy some coffee?
 
  Get your first 250g bag of Pact Coffee sent to
  home or work for just £1 when you use code
  'b3ta' here: 
http://bit.ly/1xbIF7P


-------------------------------------------------

  TOP TIP:
  Can't afford expensive vet bills? Dress your cat
  as a child and take it to your GP instead! (2
  Can Chunder)

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