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NEWSLETTER: ISSUE 64: "WHEN CO-WORKERS ATTACK"

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This Week:
- Pregnant Quiz
- When co-workers attack
- Cannibal Sex Barbie photoshoot

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________  ____ __  ___
____/  _)|_  // /_/ _ |      
___/  _ |/_ </ __/ __ |      "We're saving the
__/____/____/\__/_/ |_|       web ... together"

B3ta email 64 - 08 Nov 2002

Read this issue in your browser:
http://b3ta.com/newsletter/issue64/

       Subscribe:  b3ta-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
         Unsub:  b3ta-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com
  
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: PREGNANT OR OBESE?
  Can you tell?

  AndyK has spent all week typing "pregnant
  woman" into the Google image search. He's a
  pervert. But the benefit is that he's made us
  this lovely quiz.

  Look at these pictures of ladies and use the
  power of your brain to decide if they are
  up the duff or simply fat. It's good practice
  if you have a chubby girlfriend.
http://www.b4ta.com/plumpbump/


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: ANAL RETENTIVE OFFICE TRICKERY
  When co-workers attack

  Is there someone in your office who gets
  stressed if anyone touches their stuff?

  Jonathan Worth has such a colleague - over
  the last couple of weeks they've been winding
  him up more and more...

  Read his email - the photo is priceless.
http://b3ta.com/desk/


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: DRAWING THING
  Bored? Make your own entertainment

  Tomsk has taken time out from his day job
  selling pharmaceutical drugs to corporations,
  in order to bring you this smashing arty toy.

  Draw a picture with your mouse and submit to
  the gallery.

  You can draw a cock! Or anything! It's that
  powerful!
http://tomandphil.myby.co.uk/drawing/


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: WHAT B3TA PEOPLE HAVE BEEN MAKING THIS WEEK 
  Barbie mods, 3D golf, Rubbish cyber sex

  >> Cannibal Sex Barbie photoshoot <<
  Chad has taken a couple of Barbie dolls and
  added some plasticine. The result is horrific,
  but oddly erotic. We whacked one out, no worries.
http://roundersound.com/weird/index.htm


  >> Crazy Golf Game <<
  Dogegg has a proper job. He makes games
  for the BBC. They are normally good - but this
  one is stunning.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/choice/games/games/shootingstars/


  >> Bad cyber sex <<
  Chatrooms aren't just about weirdos hanging
  around talking about sex. Oh, OK, yes they are.
  Looks like MooHappyNoodleBoyMoo has been having
  a nice time.
http://members.lycos.co.uk/sickandtwistedmind/Chat001.htm


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: SITES IN BRIEF 
  Stuff we like that wasn't made by our mates.

  >> Sex toy computer accessory <<
  The latest attempt to get girls to play
  computer games is the 'Trance Vibrator' which
  er.. vibrates in time to the action. Read
  this hands-on review. As it were.
http://tinyurl.com/2h1q


  >> Swearing Xylophone <<
  We can't believe that we didn't make this. And
  we so wish we had. It's a xylophone and it
  swears. What could be better?
http://www.limmy.com/playthings/xylophone/


  >> Kidnapping as an extreme sport <<
  Snowboarding not exciting enough for you? Why
  not pay some American hillbillies to kidnap
  you. We have. Oh - is that the door?
http://www.extremekidnapping.com/


  >> Marijuana in Pop Music <<
  The influence of cannabis on music is
  undeniable. This in-depth article explores
  dope references in music through the century.
http://www.ukcia.org/potculture/references/records.html


  >> Soy Sauce cartoon <<
  We think we've found our Japanese cousin.
  He likes condiments and dramatic music.
  We like him.
http://yoga.tripod.co.jp/flash/kikkomaso.swf


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: B3TA IMAGE CHALLENGE
  Results from the 'Kept in Storage' Challenge

  Each week we run a competition to test your
  creative skills. We set a challenge and you
  open Photoshop and mess with our heads.

  Last week we wanted to see items that museums
  have had to keep in storage rather than show:
http://b3ta.com/challenge/keptinstorage/

  We asked B3ta boarder 'Banana' to judge the
  entries - here are her 3 faves.

  Banana writes -

  #1 "Mein Kampf - Ha! Ha! Ha! Look, this entry
  is still making me laugh now. Well-done sir,
  subtle and effective. (Maels)
http://b3ta.com/board/4/5/4/8/1/7

  #2 "Venus de Milo, the truth - Creative thinking
  makes this cheeky little entry worthy of
  second place. Educational too. (doo_monkey_doo)
http://b3ta.com/board/4/6/1/7/1/0

  #3 "Deep in the vaults in the Vatican - Clever,
  and funny. Laugh? I nearly crucified myself."
  (nevermind)
http://b3ta.com/board/4/5/3/8/2/9


  >> This Weeks Challenge <<

  This week, we decided to go all old-skool and
  get people to play with a picture of an animal.
  B3ta contributor 'monkeon' gave us the suggestion,
  "Photoshop an Ostrich"
http://b3ta.com/challenge/ostrich/


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: WHAT HAPPENED NEXT?
  Follow-ups on previous stories.

  * B3TA PARTY - it was excellent. Loads of people
    came and drank £1,500 worth of booze, that's
    £5 per minute. If only the landlord would give
    us a cut. We're holding a Christmas one on the
    19th of December in the same place. Expect a
    flyer next week.


  * CELEBRITY CRIME SQUAD - Joel from rathergood
    writes, "I had the most bizarre experience
    last night. We went out for a drink at the
    Lock Tavern in Camden. The producer of the TV
    show I'm working on got her handbag nicked,
    and collared the girl who stole it. The girl
    made a bolt for the door, and I ended up with
    Will MacDonald and Sara Cox helping to
    restrain her until the police arrived."


  * NAME THAT OTHER BABY UPDATE - In issue 55 
    we asked you to help An-D come up with a name
    for his imminent child. He says, "Baby Alex
    was born on the 23rd of Oct at lunchtime,
    weighing 6lb 15oz. Alex was actually 4th place
    after Andrew, Weebl and Dexter." Check out
    An-D's site - he's been blogging his new
    fatherhood. 
http://www.roguetrooper.net


  * INEXPLICABLE MATRIX COW - last week we linked
    to a video of a kung fu cow. We didn't know
    where it originated. We do now. It's from the
    American movie, "Kung Pow - Enter the Fist."


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: SEND US YOUR CASH
  Keep B3ta alive with a small donation

  If you enjoy reading this newsletter -  then
  please help pay for it by donating a small
  amount to our fund.

  We promise to only spend your money on costs
  we incur in running B3ta. Oh, and a Trance 
  Vibrator.
http://www.b3ta.com/features/appeal/


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: STAR IN NEXT WEEK'S ISSUE

  Make something cool and tell us about it. If
  you are in it then people will see your stuff.

  Things we'd really like to see include:

  * More photos of you playing pranks on 
    people in the office. Maybe with knives.

  * An answer to this question, "Why do cats
    like eating earwax?" Go on. Try it.

  * Your usual projects and animations.

  Send contributions to http://www.b3ta.com/mailus/

  BTW: If you've sent something in that hasn't
  been featured then don't be put off - we look
  at everything you send us.


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  THANKS: 

  B3ta newsletter was edited by MC Rob Manuel
  with David Stevenson on the wheels of steel.
  Link props to Fraser Lewry, haddock.org, Weebl,
  James Milligan, Brian Hersey, and Jon Stroud.
  Image challenge toasted by Mike Trinder. 
  And nuff respec' to the Halloween party
  DJs, Mark 'DLT' McDonald, Bart 'the hat'
  Mcdonagh, Ed 'Lemur' Smirnoff, Elliot 
  'Judge' Reuben, Braces 'run out of stupid
  nicknames' Tower. Decoration bling from Lucy
  Reese with Cal, Pep & Blogjam.
  Face Painting by Leah. Projector unit
  taxed from the BBC. One love to 
  Mark McDonald for sorting out all the
  equipment. You da bomb.
  Mad shouts out to the cow spotters, Geekess,  
  James Kane, Jeff Watkins, NX-01, *Mexomorph*,
  James Kosmatka, Necro, Darren Beck, Adam Blauer, 
  HairyEric, Jim Dinger, Dan (BOON ARMY Cadet),
  Colin Bauer, David Alexander McDonald, MD23,
  Miss Julie, Russell Purdy, Teridactyl,
  HappyLittleVegemite, Doug Wayman, John Field,
  Jeffrey Martin, Heather Sazama, Ils, Nut Graf,
  Linus Ingoldsby, Clare Cochran, Neil, Tony
  and Lady Miss Kier. She's a lady.
  Proofing by the heavy heavy b4ta massive.
  Peace and we out. (51586)

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