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This Week:
* DOUGLAS ADAMS - Final interview
* UKULELE Vs CAT - Who will win?
* FUNNY NAME CORNER - deluxe!

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________  ____ __  ___
____/  _)|_  // /_/ _ | "We're shitting in      
___/  _ |/_ </ __/ __ |    a bucket for the
__/____/____/\__/_/ |_|        fuck of it"

B3ta email 641 - 17 Oct 2014

Read this issue using a periscope:
http://b3ta.com/newsletter/issue641 

   Vote now : b3ta-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
 Spoil ballot : b3ta-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com

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: SPONSORED LINK
  Recommendation: Douglas Adams biography

  We spied the new Douglas Adams biog, "Frood" in
  Waterstones the other day, didn't pick it up as

  1. It's huge and hardback 

  2. There was one 10 or so years ago that was a
  bit dull.

  Eventually we got round to getting it on Kindle
  and it's EXCELLENT, deep information about his
  career and unpublished work written by an
  obsessive. You will not regret it.
http://www.amazon.co.uk/exec/obidos/ASIN/B00KMZNZPK/b3ta-21 

  BTW: Here's our current theory: Hitchhikers
  book 1: Guide was a benign futuristic font of
  knowledge, by book 5? An evil shit. Douglas
  Adams really DID predict the future.


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: WHAT B3TA PEOPLE HAVE BEEN MAKING THIS WEEK
  Other than making lurve... 

  >> An overview of Sabrina the Teenage Witch <<
  Ambegris writes, "My comics blog strays into
  unexpected territory..."
http://the-slipper.blogspot.co.uk/2014/10/sabrina-teenage-witch-best-comic-of.html


  >> Ancient Roman shit << 
  Curis writes, "I found a fragment of Ancient
  Roman stonework. The reconstructed image was
  declared 100% accurate by archaeologists."
http://www.ninjabread.co.uk/ancient-roman-stonework/


  >> Nice song (sort of) <<
  Tickle writes, "I made this good song and less
  good video to go with it. there's tiny cameo by
  jeremy the annoying horse to gooden it up a
  bit."
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UowimbwZFj8


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: USVSTH3M STUFF
  The other 'b3ta-ish' project

  * Around the World in 80 Million Clicks - Click
  to help power our skyboat around the world!
  He's at Greece right now again!
http://games.usvsth3m.com/around-the-world/


  * Apple Watch Simulator - Open as many apps as
  you can before the battery runs out
http://games.usvsth3m.com/apple-watch/


  * How Old Is Your Hearing? - Find out the true
  age of your poor, old lugholes!
http://games.usvsth3m.com/how-old-is-your-hearing/


  * Working From Home Simulator - Can you
  actually get any work done?
http://games.usvsth3m.com/choose-your-own/working-from-home/


  * "How Well Do You Know Me?" - Make a custom
  quiz about the most important topic of all, you!
http://games.usvsth3m.com/how-well-do-you-know/


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: SITES IN BRIEF
  Stuff we like that wasn't made by our mates

  * 8 SIGNS HE'S CHEATING - amusing nonsense from
  Clickhole, which deserves more attention than
  you might initially think. The core joke is
  mixing up modern clickbait with ancient
  bollocks about looking for signs that aren't
  really there.

  But here's the thing, "does he/she fancy you?"
  this theme is as old as time and your great
  grandkids will still be looking for answers. 
http://t.co/rd4k0Zj6l2


  * BALL IN WATER - everything you know about how
  to make things wobble on the internet needs to
  relearned. 
http://madebyevan.com/webgl-water/


  * WHAT WAS ON TELLY THE DAY YOU WERE BORN -
  stuff that's deffo more interesting than what
  they broadcast now. *old people grumbling* 
http://genome.ch.bbc.co.uk/


  * SLITTERNS - kittens with sloth faces. We
  reckon we could write a bot to make this shit
  up.
http://slittens.tumblr.com/


  * AUCTION SITE THAT SPECIALISES CRIMINAL
  MEMORABILIA - drawings by serial killers etc,
  it's genuinely sinister *gets out chequebook*
  *explains to kids what a chequebook is*
http://www.supernaught.com/


  * 28 PEOPLE HAVE BID ON THIS ROLF HARRIS
  PAINTING OF A CAT - they probably should check
  out the site we've mentioned above. Not that 
http://goo.gl/jS8EoC


  * 7 EXTRAORDINARY MOMENTS from Christian
  computer games that’ll make you believe in God
  OR damn your soul to eternal hellfire trying
http://goo.gl/LpLgvU


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: VIDEO SCHMIDEO
  Like TV but with more dust & spit on the screen

  * ONE OF THOSE VIDEOS THAT'S BADLY SHOT, in the
  dark, wrong aspect ratio but the last few
  seconds make up for it. Much like our sex-life.
  Or something.
http://www.b3ta.com/links/wait_for_it:44


  * UKULELE SINGER VS CAT - we're betting you
  hope the cat wins and you'd be entirely
  correct. Although to make you feel bad, the
  singer says, "If you're a miserable person who
  only gets joy from bashing people with hateful
  words while hiding behind a computer screen,
  then by all means, use my video to make your
  day!"
http://www.b3ta.com/links/Good_cat


  * DIY EXCITING CAR NOISES - apparently the new
  trick is to stick a bit of innertube on the
  exhaust pipe. Exciting times.
http://www.b3ta.com/links/Crazy_russian_bastards


  * SHUT UP AND WATCH THIS - yes you, shut the
  fuck up and use your eyes for some internet
  madness. Your regret will be eternal.
http://www.b3ta.com/links/SHUT_UP_AND_WATCH_THIS


  * ELECTROLUX HAVE LOST THEIR TINY MINDS - This
  isn't the future of the kitchen, who wants
  holographic fish? You want some fucking cheese!
http://s3-eu-west-1.amazonaws.com/elux/electrolux-phase-4.mp4 


  * FINAL DOUGLAS ADAMS INTERVIEW - Ten days
  before he died he said sadly, "You're going to
  be seeing a lot more books over the next few
  years." BTW: Been reading about Douglas Adams.
  If you click his name on his old website, it's
  a mailto link like he's still around * internet
  unhappy face *
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W9CzDk4JHSo


  * GLEN CAMPBELL SINGS HIS FINAL SONG - it's
  called 'not going to miss you' and it's about
  his dementia. Powerful, frightening stuff.
http://blog.thealzheimerssite.com/notgonnamissyou/


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: FUNNY NAME CORNER 
  Triple entry - yay!
  
  * BEST HAULAGE FIRM EVER? 'Hello, are you
  Inter-Cox?' 'Yes, we are Inter-Cox'... (thanks
  Haywood Manley)
http://en.inter-cox.com/


  * FOOTBALL BOLLOCKS - chiptooth writes, "A
  couple of years ago, I nominated footballer
  Mario Gotze for Unfortunate Names Corner in the
  Newsletter, as his name sounds like the way I
  imagine goatse is pronounced.

  He didn't make the
  newsletter back then, maybe too obscure? Anyway,
  I'd like to point out that he score the winning
  goal in the World Cup final recently...." Oh ok
  then.


  * A WOMAN WHO MUST GET REALLY SICK OF THE JOKES
  - suggested by reelix.
http://www.bizcommunity.com/Article/196/423/112719.html


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: B3TA IMAGE CHALLENGE
  Results from the 'Useless Machines' challenge

  Last week we asked you to invent gadgets that
  achieve nothing at all.
 
  Your favourites included:

  * Cycle inflation: The failed attempt to
  upgrade the penny farthing  (monkeon)
http://b3ta.com/board/11104825

  * Clegg in control: Political powerhouse
  has a go (Fresh Water Mole)
http://b3ta.com/board/11105158
 
  * Animal Vaccuum: solves the problem of
  hairs around the house (Ya What?)
http://b3ta.com/board/11104819
  
  All these images, and a couple more can be found
  here:
http://b3ta.com/challenge/uselessmachines/


   >> New challenge: Cakes in Films <<
  This week we’re putting victoria sponges, choux
  buns, battenburgs and even the controversial 
  Jaffa Cake in to the movies.
http://b3ta.com/challenge/cakefilms/


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: WHAT HAPPENED NEXT?
  Follow-ups on previous stories.

  * ERRORS - rmwotherspoon writes, "Hi - you
  mentioned a 'Black Seinfeld' sketch in your
  newsletter. Have you any idea where I could
  find this?" Sorry, we are idiots - we meant
  Black Cosby Show: 
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Zffv-FCEYM


  * AN APPEAL FOR HELP - johnny_commando writes,
  "Being a typical internet user I have little
  content to provide for your site... although I
  did almost once finish a flash animation of a
  drunk horse singing teenage kicks.

  "Anyways, with your mighty internet powers, of
  which I have been an avid onlooker for many,
  many years, can you do anything to bring back
  mingthemerciless.com?"


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: STAR IN NEXT WEEK'S ISSUE

  Make something cool and tell us about it. If
  you are in it then people will see your stuff.

  Things we'd really like to see include:

  * FOLDABLE SHOE - The person who patents a
  decent foldable running shoe for stuffing in a
  gym bag would end up very rich.


  * A CURE FOR AIDS THAT WORKS AS A
  SEXUALLY-TRANSMITTED DISEASE - meaning it's our
  moral obligation to do the sex as much as
  possible.


  Send contributions via the mail form.
http://www.b3ta.com/mailus/

  BTW: If you've sent something in that hasn't
  been featured then don't be put off - we look
  at everything you send us.


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    Shits : b3ta-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com

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    Follow @b3ta on Twitter and become rich
    and wildly successful:
https://twitter.com/b3ta
  
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  THANKS:
  This issue was written by Rob Manuel with
  David Stevenson. Stuff sent in by tits,
  jakedamusss, Tab Hunter, barst & Herb Alpert's
  Taxi Driver.
  Image challenge by Fraser Lewry.
  Mike Trinder is QOTW bloke.
  
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: THOUGHT(S) FOR THE DAY
  
  * I like big butts and I can not lie, much to
  the irritation of my English teacher who
  frowned on pupils starting sentences with a
  conjunction

  * In Wolfenstein 3D you get to kill Hitler.
  Considering he killed himself - maybe whole
  game is about YOU BEING HITLER? 


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  TOP TIP:
  Bored? Simply toss yourself off. (eViLegion)

  Still bored? Play 'Crapper Mapper':
  10 toilets from around the world. Where are
  they from?
http://games.usvsth3m.com/crapper-mapper/

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  * Leopard may vary from illustration, contents
  of leopard may settle during transit, your
  leopard may be at risk if you do not keep up
  payments.

 
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