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NEWSLETTER: "YOU'LL NEVER GUESS WHAT YOUR SUSCEPTIBILITY TO CLICKBAIT SAYS ABOUT YOUR PERSONALITY!"

 
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This Week:
* HISTORICAL PHOTOS - Camden, then & now
* ROBOTS - pissed like cyber-newts!
* KLF ADVERT- yeah, we like KLF stuff OK?

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________  ____ __  ___
____/  _)|_  // /_/ _ |  "Producing 'Code 2'    
___/  _ |/_ </ __/ __ |  alerts on the London
__/____/____/\__/_/ |_|  Underground since 2001"

B3ta email 669  - 10 July 2015

Read this issue whist pretending to be a ghost:
http://b3ta.com/newsletter/issue669

Unfriend b3ta on Facebook: 
https://www.facebook.com/b3tan

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: SPONSORED LINK
  17 things only Polish people living in the
  UK will understand

  Basically Polish people are pretty amused that
  British taps are so shite - and this is a well
  researched list of observations that'll make you
  see the UK through different eyes.
http://bit.ly/polish-observations-on-uk
  
  
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: WHAT B3TA PEOPLE HAVE BEEN DOING THIS WEEK
  Other than farting on cushions
  
  * DRUNK ROBOTS - Blackmoon has edited the
  'robots falling over' footage, "to look more
  like the accidents were drink induced."
http://bit.ly/hey-hey-its-the-alcobots


  * 250 HORROR MOVIES IN 5 MINUTES -  Mr
  Eraserhead writes, "I've spent the last couple
  of months putting this compilation of horror
  movie moments together. All of them from my
  personal DVD collection. Contains a fair amount
  of blood and guts."
http://www.b3ta.com/links/250_Horror_Movies_in_5_Minutes


  * NUCLEAR HOLIDAY - Admiral Crunch writes, "I
  enjoy going on hols to places that are, well, a
  bit off the beaten track. So I thought, if I can
  survive Korea, then I can easily survive
  Chernobyl."
https://www.flickr.com/photos/husey/albums/72157654781286078


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: SITES IN BRIEF
  Stuff we like that wasn't made by our mates
  
  * 50 SHADES OF FLASHHEART - making Mr Grey much
  more likeable by reimagining him being played by
  Rik Mayall.
http://50shadesofflashheart.tumblr.com/


  * REGIONAL BFI FILMS -  Put in your hometown or
  somewhere equally shit and the BFI will serve up
  one of their archive fillums about that place. 
  11 clips for Wolverhampton. Mostly about the
  council. YAY!
http://player.bfi.org.uk/britain-on-film/map/


  * CAMDEN PHOTOS, THEN AND GO - a collection of
  Facebook pics featuring NW London about 100
  years ago versus what they looks like now.
  Fascinating, so much of mankind's energy is
  devoted to fiddling with the facades of shops.
  (You'll need to be logged into Facebook for this
  link to work.)
http://bit.ly/north-west-london-time-travel
  
  
  * IT'S A HOT DAY, SO 'BLOW AIR' ON THE LION -
  wish we had one of these in the office. Well,
  not the lion.
http://codepen.io/Yakudoo/full/YXxmYR/


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: YOUR GUIDE TO LONDON UNDERGOUND CODES
  Yep, code 2 = poo
  
  Code 1: Blood
  Code 2: Urine/Faeces
  Code 3: Vomit
  Code 4: Spillage
  Code 5: Broken Glass
  Code 6: Litter

  (Thanks Londonist for this - we just googled it
  as we heard a 'code 2' at Bank.)


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: STUFF TO READ
  Shove this stuff in your eye-holes

  * RUSSIAN 'TROLL' AGENCY - in-depth report on a
  web misinformation campaign. Frightening to
  think how much of this shite might go on.
http://www.nytimes.com/2015/06/07/magazine/the-agency.html


  * HERMIT IN THE WOODS - interesting read about a
  bloke who went into the woods and didn't
  reappear until 27 years later. A few mental
  issues and whatnot, but overall surprisingly
  lucid and logical. 
http://www.gq.com/story/the-last-true-hermit?src=longreads


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Follow @b3ta on Twitter - if only because we
occasionally dig out old, obscene stories and stick
them on photographs of Thatcher.
https://twitter.com/b3ta/status/618416912381423616

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: VIDEO SCHMIDEO
  Like TV but with a big chicken hat. Maybe.
  
  * KLF ADVERT - An oddly glorious shot for shot
  remake of 3 AM Eternal to promote a Swedish
  pension company. We put messages to Bill &
  Jimmmy to ask if this was authorised and got
  nothing.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FfF8ymtxWG8 


  * BRETT DOMINO TEACHES ALED JONES TO RECORD
  'JUMP AROUND' ON AN IPAD - an enjoyable slice of
  daytime TV.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pzRU9mXtDTA


  * 10 YEARS AGO R. KELLY RELEASED 'TAPPED IN THE
  CLOSET' - we watched this again in tribute. If
  you never saw it, then the Adam & Joe review is
  a pretty good start.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MTaCoEufViQ


  * DROPPED SHOVEL SOUNDS LIKE NIRVANA - finally a
  sequel to the 'tube gate that sounds like Blur's
  Song 2' thingie.
http://www.b3ta.com/links/dropped_shovel_sounds_like_nirvana


  * THE NEIGHBOURS UPSTAIRS AND THOSE STRANGE
  NOISES THEY MAKE - living in a small flat, this
  made a lot of sense to us.
http://bit.ly/shut-up-please-shut-up


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: QUESTION OF THE WEEK
  Festival Tales
 
  Last week we wanted your Festival Tales Your
  favourites can be found here:
http://http://b3ta.com/questions/festivalsII/
 
  Here's a selection of our favourites:
 
  * FENCE CLIMBING  Years ago, a mate and I got
  caught climbing the fence at Glastonbury. They
  made us go back inside and watch the rest of
  Coldplay. (Joy Division Oven Gloves)
 
  * SNAKE - I got a job working in the first Rock
  above the falls festival. It was badly
  organised, despite some larger bands like
  Blondie playing there. I was given a Hi Vis vest
  but given no other instruction about what to do.
  So I smoked pot and sort of just hung around
  hoping to chat with some of the bands backstage.
  I was crossing the fields between tents and the
  stage when people started screaming. A brown
  snake, about 2m long, had been spotted right
  amongst the punters. People turned to me. Now
  I'm pretty live and let live when it comes to
  wildlife, but this was Australia and the buggers
  are poisonous. I wrenched a star picket out of
  the ground with the intention of clubbing the
  slithering bastard to death. I went for a big
  overhead whack and missed it completely, it rose
  up and back coiling for a strike but fortunately
  my next blow connected and broke it's spine (it
  being mostly spine), and then the hippy druggy
  onlookers were treated to watching me stoving in
  its head to a bloody mess for good measure. I
  dropped its lifeless body in the bin. Took no
  joy from the whole incident. (cumquat may)
 
  * OLD MAN RAVER - Went to a sparsely-attended
  rave in Phoenix Of the dozen or so people in
  attendance, there was a courtly-looking fellow,
  age about 70 - a bit out of place. So, I pointed
  towards the stage and asked: "What do you think
  of the music?" He thought for a second, and
  diplomatically replied: "It's like Sinatra."
  (Perv With A Dog)
 
  >> This Week  THAT ONE MATE <<
  Second Best Porcupine asks, Can we have another
  story about that lovable scamp Alan, please? We
  all know an Alan. Tell us about that one mate
  who can't help but get in to trouble.
http://b3ta.com/questions/alan/


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: B3TA IMAGE CHALLENGE
  Results from the 'Undead Sitcom' challenge

  Last week we poured over the Radio Times in
  search of zombie tv comedy gold.
 
  Your favourite results included:

  * Meldrew: he doesnt bereave it.
  (Jabberwoc)
http://b3ta.com/board/11160273

  * Accorah: Weekly abuse from the spirit world.
  (FreshWaterMole)
http://b3ta.com/board/11160055

  * Delboy: Trigger done a face. (Ham OShatner)
http://b3ta.com/board/11160111
  
  All these images, and a load more can be found
  here:
http://b3ta.com/challenge/undeadsitcom/

 
  >> New challenge: New uses for tools <<
  This week we're thinking up new uses for those
  tools and gadgets stuck in the back of our
  drawers. Take something from the kitchen,
  toolbox or shed, use it in ways you shouldn't
  and send us the photo evidence. Or just
  photoshop someone abusing a lawnmower.
http://b3ta.com/challenge/toolreuse/


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  THANKS:
  This issue was written by Rob Manuel with David
  Stevenson. Stuff sent in by Jimbotfu, pissflaps,
  evil_andy, chompedhomas & Fray Brentos. Image
  challenge by Fraser Lewry. Mike Trinder is QOTW
  bloke. Tip by robneymcplum.
  
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