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On a school trip, a boy in my brother's class crapped himself down a Dutch mine, writes Richard mcbeef off the Internet. The teachers tried to blame the smell on sulphur but the truth came out when they left the mine, as the boy was wearing chinos with massive dark brown streaks running down the back of his legs.

Do you have a funny story of your own?

(, Thu 18 Jun 2015, 12:30)
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here, sir, have a cheekily roasted pea!!!!!!!!!!
It was 1998. I was 18.
I was extremely stoned, and waiting for my bus. I was paranoid; every pedestrian walking past could see my red eyes, white face and idiotic grin. They could smell the low grade hashish I was carrying, and they were laughing about it. Yeah, and the people driving past? They were on their way to the police station to report me.

My bus pulled up, I got on board. I asked the driver for a return to Aberdeen.

'Are you a fool?' he asked me.

I was stunned. He knew. He was going to either harangue me about the stultifying effects of cannabis resin, or he was going to somehow contact the police.

'What?' I stammered.

'Are you a fool?' he repeated. Was I on the wrong bus? I was! I must be! Why else would this man be asking me if I was a fool? I was a fool! It was the wrong bus! It wasn't though, I saw the number. It's the right one, so what's he getting at?

'What?' I asked again. I was adrift on a floating island of confusion.

'Are you a full fare, or a half fare?' he barked out.

'Adult fare!' I replied, then realised that I had just answered the question he hadn't asked, and I was in fact, a very stoned fool.
(, Fri 19 Jun 2015, 14:17, 10 replies)
Did you shit yourself on the bus?
If not, I'm not sure why you've posted this.
(, Fri 19 Jun 2015, 14:20, closed)
I've never soiled my undercrackers on a bus

(, Fri 19 Jun 2015, 14:24, closed)
So your story is "I once posted a dull story on the internet"?

(, Fri 19 Jun 2015, 16:13, closed)
ha ha classic Baggenfrock!

(, Fri 19 Jun 2015, 16:29, closed)
I don't have an electronic dog in your guys' internet fight but
yeah, it was a bit dull. Like you'd thought of some amusing way that a Scotch person saying "full" could sound like "fool" and created a slightly less amusing story that would explain how it could happen. And I would bet money that only Scotch people get buses to Aberdeen, so...oh, fuck it.
(, Sun 21 Jun 2015, 23:26, closed)
Astounding.

(, Sun 21 Jun 2015, 14:27, closed)
you are a fool

(, Sun 21 Jun 2015, 18:50, closed)

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