Fool Circle.
*This may or may not have happened. Sadly the theme is somewhat true.*
My mate Tobey is a nice, gentle fellow. Caring and nurturing, he's always worked hard and done the very best to look after his family. Including his parents and grandparents (whom he was very close to as they helped raise him and his sister whilst his parents were out at work). Particularly his Grandma Ethel.
After many years of hard slog and finally getting a promotion and some tidy bonuses Tobey and his missus Dianne decided they wanted to move out of their palatial 5 bed, 2 bathroom home with yard and swimming pool in their gated suburban community to closer to the inner city lifestyle. It would be expensive, cramped and their two kids would have to be uprooted from their schools and friends but Tobey would have much less of a commute and they could go to a fancy coffee house just around the corner.
In short Tobey and Dianne are wannabe hipster douches. Wannabe's because most hipster douches are younger and don't have kids. Put it this way - after years of being a fellow FPS gamer with me Tobey, on Dianne's extensive technical advice (all the other mum's at playgroup had iPhones) and his entire family "went Apple."
Yeah.

But anyhoo aside from that they found a place in North Perth. It was only 3 bedrooms and 1 toilet/bathroom/laundry. On a piece of land much, much smaller than their suburban block - no yard to speak of. It had been renovated about 10 years earlier and cost about AU$400,000 more than they were going to get for their old house. It was about 3 doors up from where Tobey's grandparents had raised his parents (before they had become more affluent and moved out to the suburbs - where they could afford bigger houses and more land). Oh, and the cafe strip was 'walking with a pram distance'. So they put their place on the market 'subject to sale' and headed off to their bank to talk mortgages.
About 6 mths. later Tobey decided to pick up his grandma Ethel from her nursing home on her 92nd birthday and take her home to show off where they lived. Now Ethel was old and infirm but still as sharp as a tack. So there her and Tobey were sitting on their narrow veranda enjoying some wine spritzers after lunch when Grandma leant over and said to Tobey,
"Where are all the children?"
Thinking he meant her great-grandkids he said -"Oh, inside on the wii."
"When we lived here you couldn't drive down this street quickly for the number of kids playing in it - including your parents. There seems to be a few young families nearby. So, where aren't the children outside playing?" she asked.
"Oh", said Tobey catching on. "Their parents are too scared."
"Scared of what?" Ethel asked.
"Umm - pedos, strangers, people hooning in cars, drug dealers, prostitutes. You know all the things that happen in an inner city 'burb nan." said Tobey absent-mindedly.

"So you're telling me you moved from your big house in a suburb where only the people who lived there were welcome, where you had a much bigger house, yard and you had a pool. To this place which cost you more and where you are too scared to let your kids out the front door because of all the deros?" asked Ethel.
"Well, yes." said Tobey.
"Tobey, you're an idiot." said his nan.

tl;dr - Can you remember as a kid being told to "make sure you're home in time for dinner"?
(s0ckpuppet logging out to reply to you if you're not careful, Sat 31 Aug 2013, 7:05, 18 replies)

Old people:
when they're not moaning about kids playing outside and making to much noise, they're morning about how kids don't play outside anymore.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Sat 31 Aug 2013, 9:51, closed)

Eggs-actly!
EDIT: "moaning" not morning, unless you mean they're mourning for the kids...
(s0ckpuppet logging out to reply to you if you're not careful, Sat 31 Aug 2013, 10:18, closed)

Quite.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Sat 31 Aug 2013, 18:38, closed)

It does sond like Tobey is an idiot.
I think it started with having kids too young, or too old, and spiralled.
I recall spending most of my childhood outside playing without the paranoia of "pedos" and I grew up in 70s/80s England not far from where a certain Mr Savile prowled.
(Me, I'm not... in any way intoxicated, Sat 31 Aug 2013, 12:24, closed)

Strangely enough I too managed to spend much of my childhood
tearing around the local area on my pushbike with my mates with absolute minimal interference from all the Aussie 70's/80's pedos.
Maybe we were just ugly kids?
(s0ckpuppet logging out to reply to you if you're not careful, Sun 1 Sep 2013, 5:38, closed)

maybe suppressing the memory is why you're such a fat underachiever

(alright alright, Mon 2 Sep 2013, 8:58, closed)

You seem very angry and quite prepared to be nasty and negative from the outset.
Now despite that not really being my concern (& it isn't) - you need to think about that. I hope your'e not the same sort of person in RL that you come across here. For your sake.
Mind you it does go a long way to explaining why you're sitting here posting your vitriol here rather than spending time with your family on a Monday morning. They probably relish the time you spend on b3ta as a sweet respite for them. From you. And your attitude.
tl;dr? - If you're not a shambo account then I'd be really worried about exactly how close you're coming to being like him.
(s0ckpuppet logging out to reply to you if you're not careful, Mon 2 Sep 2013, 9:59, closed)

blah blah chinless and friendless paedo on the internet 18 hours a day

(alright alright, Mon 2 Sep 2013, 11:02, closed)

Who does laundry in their toilet?

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Sat 31 Aug 2013, 13:37, closed)

i done toilet in your mum's laundry

(alright alright, Mon 2 Sep 2013, 8:38, closed)

could you get us some coke Stewart?
www.youtube.com/watch?v=b_Xg51oCJdo
( d.r._and_quinch when will you be famous?, Sat 31 Aug 2013, 14:49, closed)

the fuck is an inner city suburb, you lonely fat motherless out-patient

(alright alright, Mon 2 Sep 2013, 8:16, closed)

Actually a bit scary how ignorant you look
while you're just trying to score cheap points.
(s0ckpuppet logging out to reply to you if you're not careful, Mon 2 Sep 2013, 10:42, closed)

a suburb is by definition not in the centre of a city, you witless crotch

(alright alright, Mon 2 Sep 2013, 11:00, closed)

Alright shambo?

(s0ckpuppet logging out to reply to you if you're not careful, Mon 2 Sep 2013, 11:59, closed)

alright, clueless fat loser
enjoyed any good naughty steps recently
(alright alright, Mon 2 Sep 2013, 13:12, closed)

It's good to know who the whiny little dobbers are in class.
And, no.
(s0ckpuppet logging out to reply to you if you're not careful, Mon 2 Sep 2013, 21:56, closed)

except you don't
because you're a thick cunt as well as a lonely fat loser
(alright alright, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 7:51, closed)