Barclays Graduate evening
For reasons known only to themselves Barclays bank decided to organise a Graduate promotion evening at the Hilton Hotel (milton keynes) right opposite my university which was a small place.

They decided 1 or 2 A4 sized notices around the university would be plenty to notify all possible students of this event.

So 2 days later me and 2 flatmates turned up at the hotel properly suited and booted believing this to be some event where by they were looking to interview graduates for possible future employment.

They weren't.

Turns out they were trying to flog their student accounts package to us.

The attendees;
- approximately 9 Barclays employees
- 4 students, comprising 3 of us from my flat and 1 girl from the college in town.

This girl had driven to the event so remained sober. Of the other 3 of us 1 was teetotal, leaving James and I facing food and wine for approximately 50 people!

We got stuck in being social while Barclays delayed the start hopeful of late arrivals.

Then not to lose face they asked (!!?!?) if they could do their presentation. By this point (barely 30 minutes after arrival) we've each consumed an entire bottle of wine each.

We grab fresh bottles and take a seat. They go on about accounts etc but I'm not paying attention and nicely one of the helpful Barclays staff brings James and I 2 more bottles of plonk after 20 mins of presentation as we've run dry.

At the end they ask for any questions, as you can imagine from 4 bored students there were none.
SO, off goes girl from the college and our Tee total friend leaves too.

So now the poor Barclays staff are stumped. They have 2 semi pissed students and A LOT of freebies, wine, food etc.

As my car was in the car park they put plenty of sandwiches etc in my boot and decided to leave. James and I retire to the presentation room with yet more wine.

By the time the hotel staff wanted to close the room we were pretty far gone.

So of course we went to the bar to finish what we could.

By the time 3am rolled round James and I were on different planets. He heads off walking and I don't even make it out of the car park (on foot!). Together we put away nigh on 20 bottles of wine (I was a very heavy drinker back then!).

James stops for a wee in the field (which was a short cut home) only to keel over backwards creating a fountain of pee which rains down on top of himself and his suit, meanwhile the back of the suit is crusted in mud.

I realise I have no hope of walking the 1/2 mile home and crawl to the back seat of my car to rest. I stick my feet out the window and begin eating voluvents and sandwiches, chucking anything nasty out the window.

Roll on 6am and the first rays of sunshine rouse my slumber. I pull myself up, push open the car door to discover a molehill of half eaten snacks. The movement of someone in the car park certainly surprised the duty security guard in his little gate house who proceeds to watch me wobble across the car park and head for home.

Eventually I went to lectures for the day and got home about 5pm. Nobody had seen James and his girlfriend comes looking for him. A little voice pipes up "I'm in here", where it emerges he's spent about 18 hours curled round the toilet being very ill.

Anyway, needless to say I had no intention of using or working for Barclays it's just how can a student turn down an offer of "FREE WINE"???
(golddust QOTW now revolves around being a cunt, Thu 8 Nov 2007, 18:09, 3 replies)

Yup, they do odd things
Barclays are weird, they made me stand next to the Premiership Cup and have my picture taken today. I only went in to pay some cash into the wife's account.
(allyourbasekris Hotdog, Jumping Frog, Alberquerque, Fri 9 Nov 2007, 0:03, closed)

We
always start the Xmas Eve pissup by trawling through all the banks, they always have free pomagne,cider, mince pies etc. Our Tesco Metro has even started doing free booze and grub too.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Sat 10 Nov 2007, 4:35, closed)

Splutter...
Not laughed so hard at a QOTW reply for a while, nice one!
( Alex Save a Tree, Eat a Beaver!, Tue 13 Nov 2007, 2:05, closed)