Accidentally EroticThere I am, sitting in the dark, squinting at a chart of letters trying to work out if that's an E or a H. The optician is leaning toward me and suddenly I'm concentrating more on her than the chart, praying she doesn't get any closer or this could get embarrassing.
What situations in your life have you found accidentally/inappropriately erotic?
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chthonic, Thu 2 Feb 2006, 12:49)
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More Than Meets The EyeOkay! Okay! I'll admit it! When I was seven, Optimus Prime made my winky go ZING!
I've been avoiding the question so far, considering it far too embarrassing but if people can admit to getting a bonk on over Minnie Mouse even now then I can admit to my first gay crush being aimed at a cartoon robot. In fact, I'd go so far as to blame the leader of the Autobots for making me gay. It does lead to hilarity however. After coming out to people they invariably ask when you first knew. If I'm being nice I say it was when I realised I only played strip poker with other boys. If I'm feeling evil I tell them it was shortly after the battle begun on Cybertron and make some joke about Prime's exhaust pipe.
Top tip though, do not reveal this little piece of information to anyone you are considering sleeping with. This could lead to the one memorable occasion when, getting hot and heavy with a bloke, he removes his pants and, as his erection springs up, he makes the transforming noise. Contrary to popular belief this will not regress you to a state of raging repressed childhood horniness but will in fact make you laugh so hard it renders you incapable of doing anything remotely erotic for a good half an hour.
There, I've said it! Make the voices stop now!
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Gleeballs is mostly made out of chocolate and hate., Sat 4 Feb 2006, 8:48,
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