Monkey money shot
An attractive female friend of mine, lets call her Amanda, spent some time as a student in a jungle encampment. She arrived a few days after one of the blokes there. He was a nice chap by all accounts but slightly weird. Let's call him Mr. C. He took some pride in the fact that in the few days he's been there he'd managed to become companions with the resident pet monkey. Apparently it would sit on his shoulders all the time, take food from him, scamper around after him, etc.

Amanda was lying on hammock one day when Mr. C came over with monkey in tow. The best thing about the monkey from Mr. C's point of view is that it was the perfect ice breaker and he proceeded to chat to Amanda about monkey related things: "isn't the monkey cute. Look how much he likes having his tummy rubbed etc."

Anyhoo, Mr. C is chatting up Amanda and casually stroking the monkey's tummy. However whenever he removes his hand the monkey becomes quite agitated and puts Mr. C's hand back onto his tummy and Mr. C continues to chat away to Amanda while stroking his monkey (?).

It's a pleasant conversation - marred only by the sudden and calamitous outpouring of the monkey's loins all over the face of Amanda. Apparently the look of alarm on Mr. C's face was second only to the smug look on the monkeys.
(Gusofnavarone always makes a map of france from sarnies, Wed 8 Jun 2005, 10:34, Reply)