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This is a question Awesome Sickies

A colleague has been off work for two weeks now - apparently he's got something they can't diagnose, (although they know for sure it's not Legionnaires, Malaria, BSE or AIDS, he's supposedly in isolation). We are all sure he's merely sitting in the sun waiting for the World Cup to come on the telly.

What have you invented to get off work?

(, Fri 9 Jun 2006, 7:40)
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My favourite - not really a sicky but a great skive
When i was a travelling sales rep, I used to be sent all over the country to the most god-foesaken places on earth. To Combat this, i devised a somewhat ingenious solution :

I stayed at home.

My boss would regularly phone me while i was 'in my car' to check how i was getting on with the journey. To counter-act this, I recorded a sample of my car engine noise, complete with a couple of indicator clicks and engine revs for good measure on my laptop, which i could start at a moments notice while the phone was ringing.

Excellent. Well, it was - until my doorbell went during one such 'trip'. I told him it was a warning light on the car as the engine kept overheating. Got away with it!

~~~~~a couple of months later~~~~~~~

I was unfortunately forced to work for a whole 2 weeks when i loaned the laptop to my boss to do a presentation so could not perform the trick - oh well - 2 weeks out of 52 aint bad.

A little while afterwards, I was up to my usual tricks (ie slobbing around on b3ta and looking for random monkey porn etc) when i should have been working... The phone goes, so i quickly reach for the shortcut on my desktop to the recorded car sample -

Imagine my horror when i find it has been replaced with one of my boss saying 'you're fired - now f*ck off'.

Moral of the story? never skive off work Never lend your boss your laptop if it has incriminating evidence on it.
(, Fri 9 Jun 2006, 12:55, closed)

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