When the Babysitter Comes
A poem by S Crow, age 6
So Mum and Dad are off tonight,
To town to see a play,
But 'town' is just for grown-ups,
And so at home we must stay,
So who will watch the pair of us,
With Mum and Dad away?
Who will be the babysitter,
Sent to watch us play?
Doubtless it will be a daughter of some friend of Mum's,
We'd better be prepared for when the babysitter comes.
I hear that she's a new one,
Well, we'll put her to the test.
I may be only six years old,
But six-year-olds know best!
I'll bet she's at that age,
When girls get lumps upon their chests,
And number "kissing boys" among,
Their boring interests.
Just look at her naive young smile - she thinks this will be fun!
But we will be prepared now that the babysitter's come.
Come, dinosaurs! Come, Action Men!
An army we must field,
Come sleepy little sister,
You can be a human shield,
Rise, kamikaze paper aeroplanes,
We'll take her down!
We'll see who rules this house,
When Mum and Dad have gone to town.
The plastic platoon's ready, let us reload all their guns,
And we shall lie in wait for when the babysitter comes.
See her start to panic,
She can see it's getting late,
And sleepy little sister,
Should have been in bed by eight,
But I know when it's best,
To leave the poor young thing alone,
To be tucked up and fast asleep,
When Mum and Dad get home.
For by the time the front door clicks, we've finished our attack.
I'm pretty sure that babysitter won't be coming back.
(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 29 Oct 2010, 10:51, 2 replies)

I love it
The best bit is the rallying cry:

"Come, dinosaurs! Come, Action Men!
An army we must field,
Come sleepy little sister,
You can be a human shield,"

Also, bonus points for using a verb I haven't managed to in a long time: more stuff should be fielded.
(jellybeanflicker Jesus was Korean, but there he was Cho Sun Wun, Fri 29 Oct 2010, 15:11, closed)

i proper fucking heart this to bits
brillers
(Monkeystrumpet monkey. Monkey, MONKEY!!!, Fri 29 Oct 2010, 15:17, closed)