du, du, du, du, du, I’m loving it!
I’ve had a few crappy bosses as I mentioned earlier, but I think the best of the worst was with part time jobs whilst at college. Just because it didn’t really mater, it wasn’t like I had a mortgage or bills to pay.

One of my first jobs was in a Numark Chemist in ilford, at 15 years old I was handed a white doctors style coat and told they’d show me the ropes. Which basically involved running up and down stairs of a creaky old town house with boxes of supplies for the pharmacy. All their products were in cages and stored rather precariously on shelves, there wasn’t enough room to swing a cat and the fire exits were chained and padlocked shut. It was like an episode of London’s Burning that they were waiting to film. When I went to put my hand in my pocket I discovered that both pockets on the Doctors coat were glued shut with some kind of industrial strength glue and wouldn’t budge. When I asked one of the other counter monkeys why my pockets were glued closed I was told it was so I wouldn’t nick anything! I worked from 8.30am till 6.00pm with a 30 min break for lunch, at the end of the day I was given an envelope with a fiver in it, it was less the fifteen quid they were taking out of my wages for the doctors lab coat. Needless to say I only worked there for the day.

Next up were a few weeks in summer working at McDonalds while I was doing my BA. I needed to find a source of income and they were hiring so I sat through the cheesy training and health and safety videos and away I went. Before I knew it I was front of house, calling orders out like ‘Order up, large Big Mac and fries, on 2’, it was awful and every minute of it made me cringe. But like the other drones, I just got into the routine and got on with the unsociable hours, the burger stink, and constantly being cheerful. After about 2 weeks of being there one of the regular team got promoted to shift manager, I’d seen the communication on the notice board but to be honest it’d barely hit my radar, he was just one of the many people that worked there. Well within the first day of his new job everyone knew who he was, he was a complete cock. Not only did he have the worst case of small man syndrome that I’d ever seen but he was so damned arrogant, patronizing and rude to everyone, and he was really spotty. Baring in mind he was only in his early 20’s and probably knew bugger all about anything he really seemed to love lording it over people and belittled staff at every opportunity he got. He made people cry regularly and would shout across the cooking area at people who he felt could either work quicker, smile more, reduce the amount of salad they were putting in buns and stop giving away company profits (yes, he actually said that), you know really encouraging us to embrace the…du, du, du, du, du, I’m loving it! Ethic. The hours were crap, the work was boring and mundane and the conversation was hardly stimulating and dealing with that burke daily was really starting to wear me down. Anyway after a 5am start I was due to finish my shift at 2pm and my dad was picking me up. So spotty the short arse decided that as the lunch cover hadn’t come back from their break yet because he had cocked up the rota I’d have to stay until they did. He wouldn’t let me go out to tell my dad who I could see waiting outside, 10 mins passed and I was still there, 20 mins and I turned around and told him I really had to go and started to untie my apron. Wailing like a banshee he screamed at me, ‘take that apron off girl and you’re F***ing sacked!’ Get back to your till. His timing couldn’t have been more perfect, no sooner had the words left his mouth than I saw my dad out the corner of my eye. My dad, reached across the counter grabbed him by the throat and dragged him straight back over it, threw him on the floor and explained in no un-certain terms that he had no right to speak to me or anyone else like that. He then told him to get my f***ing money now as I wouldn’t be coming back. Thanks Dad, McDonalds sucked!
(Muckynambird, Thu 17 Jun 2010, 12:37, 10 replies)

I like this
Though I fear a slew of Honda Accord references will ensue.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 17 Jun 2010, 12:42, closed)

Isn't 'slew'
the noise people in the Beano make when drinking tea?
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Thu 17 Jun 2010, 12:46, closed)

No, that's
"sloo!"
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 17 Jun 2010, 12:48, closed)

It's changed since I worked there 1990 - 1992
Everything was premeasured so you couldn't put too much of anything on, plus because we always had the same people on each shift I worked, it was great. Good atmosphere, good times.

Seems to have gone down the crapper by all accounts.
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Thu 17 Jun 2010, 12:45, closed)

Clicked
What is it about people promoted from the ranks with something to prove?
(The Incredible Sulk Finally remembered his password on, Thu 17 Jun 2010, 12:53, closed)

They are
worried that might end up back "down there" I reckon.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 17 Jun 2010, 13:00, closed)

To see a man's personality, look at his friends
To see a man's character, give him power.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 17 Jun 2010, 13:03, closed)

and to see a man's breakfast
give him a McDonald's lunch.
( Happy Phantom has been to Hastings, Brighton, and Eastbourne too, Thu 17 Jun 2010, 13:27, closed)

^^ I totally agree

( snee held his breath since, Thu 17 Jun 2010, 13:54, closed)

That's two revenge stories... karma loves you...
I hope you punctuated better than this when you handed in your BA coursework
( disasterprone "Pyjamas caused the Holocaust", Thu 17 Jun 2010, 14:04, closed)