Close encounters of the Catholic kind.
Well what a surprise that my first post on here is something sexual...

Way way back in the mists of time, or rather about five years ago, I began my years as a sixth-form. Now I went to school at a Catholic all-girls boarding school and being an older student, I got the privalage of my own bedroom rather than sharing with five others.

Blessed (or maybe cursed) with a libido that would put Belle de Jour to shame and now suddenly with a chance of privacy, what better way to spend an afternoon by myself than to christen my new digs.

I slipped into my shower room along with my purple playmate and spent a good hour in the shower moaning like a beast and eventually coming to a climax of yelling every curse under the sun.

Dinner time approaches and I come down refreshed and with a content smile to sit with my friends. Our Sister Superior draws near and we all give our helloes to her. Older than the stars of jurrasic park she's generally good natured and lets "girls be girls" rather than being a bible-bashing bitch like some. She touches me on the shoulder as she walks behind our table and asks,
"FF my dear, were you alright earlier today?"
"Why yes Sister Superior, why do you ask?" I reply, bemused,
"You sounded to be in awful pain, I could hear you through the wall"
"Oh...yes. I...was um...sewing on my nametags to my sports kit. Very trickey to do" Presenting a plastered thumb which I'd cut two dayss ago.
"Ofcourse you were dear" she replies with a smile, waddling away and leaving me feeling slightly dirty.

I applied for a room change because I managed to find the tiniest bit of mould on the walls, which was granted thankfully. Though I could never look the Sister Superior in the face ever again...
(Femme Fatale, Sat 19 Feb 2011, 20:14, 4 replies)

I call sex lies
but I'm frigging myself rotten over them anyway.
(Falstaff's Spiritual Successor, Sat 19 Feb 2011, 21:00, closed)

You are a 17 stone HGV driver called Dave
AICMFP
(all my scars face forward possesses 2.5% of a hyperalloy combat chassis, Sat 19 Feb 2011, 22:06, closed)

Hahahahahahahahaha

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 13:59, closed)

whatever

( Ring Of Fire A petty, drooling belming butthurt retard., Sat 19 Feb 2011, 23:46, closed)