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This is a question Best Comebacks

At some point we've all been insulted. What's the wittiest retort you've ever uttered leaving the antagonist lost for words? Share your wisdom so that we learn, and have a come back ready for every occasion.

(, Thu 29 Apr 2004, 14:19)
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Hats
At Uni, we had a formal night that landed on the same night as my 21st. The Powers that be decided this was a Hat Formal - people had to go in amusing headwear. I got twatted on a bottle of Pernod, and had told to be told this story myself.

There was a guy at Uni I hated after he told my future missus that she should be seeing someone better than me. We had a real simmering hatred. Anyway, as I went into the meal, wearing a crappy old Leeds Utd bobble hat I had since the age of 7, he walked past and sneered "What are you wearing?". My brilliant, witty reply, apparently delivered in my near comatose state in Oscar Wilde/Stephen Fry fashion as if it was the most stunning retort imagined:

A FUCKING HAT, YOU FAT CUNT

That became my catchphrase until I graduated.
(, Thu 29 Apr 2004, 14:36, closed)

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